Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Unhinged he/him]

Granted you gain an understanding of things man was not meant to know and go mad from the revelation

I wish for a package of sandwich rolls.

[Okdes he/him]

You get the rolls, but they have no taste.

I ask that my body does not fall apart with age. I still age and die from it, but I do not lose eyesight, hearing, hair, teeth, movement, etc.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted.

You lose both feet tomorrow. Not because of age but because of ... uh ... magic ... oooOOOooo

I wish for a sweatshirt that stays magically clean so I never have to wash it.

[Jonathon]

Granted but the sweatshirt makes you feel colder instead of warmer

 

I wish for the power to bring stories to life

[Zennix he/him]

On Friday, April 14, 2017 at 1:49 AM, Jonathon said:

Granted but the sweatshirt makes you feel colder instead of warmer

 

I wish for the power to bring stories to life

Granted. You try to bring the Stormlight Archive to life because you want to bond with Syl and become a Windrunner, but instead you manifest a Highstorm in your house, and we know it can only go downhill from here... 

I wish to become the Dragon Reborn. 

[Rasha]

Your wish is satisfied. Next time you wake, you find your house in utter disorder, with melted ceilings and floors, bodies everywhere. More disturbing, there's a strange man waiting for you on your balcony.

I wish I had completed my Master's thesis already.

Edited April 17, 2017 by Rasha

[Radiant_Jaeger he/him]

Wish granted, you've completed it, but have left a grammatical error in every other sentence. ENJOY!

I wish that Oathkeeper would be rated R as a book (Comparitively not literally)

[18th Shard he/him]

Granted. Unfortunately, Tor then refuses to publish it for the large number of chapters consisting of expletives. You are then murdered by 17th Sharders who blame you for the end of the cosmere's publishing.

I wish that any bane I receive is inflicted seventy-seven fold on the person who gives me the bane, and that that person is then forced to relive their worst experiences eternally.

(Take that, Nightwatcher!)

[Radiant_Jaeger he/him]

@18th Shard Lol ouch!

[Staphylococcus she/her]

On 4/17/2017 at 5:57 PM, 18th Shard said:

Granted. Unfortunately, Tor then refuses to publish it for the large number of chapters consisting of expletives. You are then murdered by 17th Sharders who blame you for the end of the cosmere's publishing.

I wish that any bane I receive is inflicted seventy-seven fold on the person who gives me the bane, and that that person is then forced to relive their worst experiences eternally.

(Take that, Nightwatcher!)

Your bane is drowning in a pool full of fluffy puppies, which I'll have to relive over and over for eternity.

(How can I ask for anything now? This is seriously the best death ever.)

 

I wish I passed my finals without loosing my sanity.

Edited April 18, 2017 by Staphylococcus
I noticed a missing word :D

[Rasha]

You didn't lose your Sanity. It is still there, and you can feel it watchning you closely, plotting to cause your downfall.

 

I wish to get rid of my insomnia.

[18th Shard he/him]

Done. You will never awake again.

I wish that my boon not be granted. (insert paradox logic)

[kenod]

The Nightwatcher doesn't appreciate meta-wishes and curses you with perfect immortality (you will end up living longer than the universe, have fun).

I wish for a sentient fox.

[Gizmosowner he/him]

Paradox logic inserted. Website breaks

i wish for a cuddly pet fox

kenod posted as soon as I mentioned a fox so I guess my boon was granted

Edited April 18, 2017 by Gizmosowner

[kenod]

Should I start running?

[Gizmosowner he/him]

I want the cuddles....

[Radiant_Jaeger he/him]

@Gizmosowner You receive a cuddly pet fox

But its stuffed.

 

Forgive me

I wish for a Nahel Bond with a Cultivationspren

[Krandacth]

8 hours ago, Radiant_Jaeger said:

@Gizmosowner You receive a cuddly pet fox

But its stuffed.

 

Forgive me

I wish for a Nahel Bond with a Cultivationspren

Granted. You form a Bond with Glys, but as he is already bonded to Renarin in a different Physical Realm, he never comes looking for you or interacts with you in any way. On the other hand, you get the dubious boon of incredibly terrifying and tantalisingly-unspecific visions about the future of the Stormlight Archive.

Now, you asked for a two-part boon, which is cheeky, but the Nightwatcher decides to let it slide.  At the same time that your Bond forms, a stray Cultivationspren that shifted to the wrong Physical Realm arrives and starts hanging around you. You can see it thanks to your Bond with Glys and the Cultivationspren itself being unbonded. However, being unbonded, the Cultivationspren is not sapient, instead becoming little more than your pet ball-of-superfast-growing-vines.

Your bane is the constant scent of overripe blue cheese from behind a nearby obstruction (door, tree, etc), but never the one you look behind.

I wish for nothing, I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I. Please help the outcasts, the poor and downtrod.

[Radiant_Jaeger he/him]

 @Krandacth As it was you who granted my wish I shall not exact vengeance by saying wish granted, but you are now in a coma, enjoy nothingness. That would be totally uncool.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

8 hours ago, Krandacth said:

Granted. You form a Bond with Glys, but as he is already bonded to Renarin in a different Physical Realm, he never comes looking for you or interacts with you in any way. On the other hand, you get the dubious boon of incredibly terrifying and tantalisingly-unspecific visions about the future of the Stormlight Archive.

Now, you asked for a two-part boon, which is cheeky, but the Nightwatcher decides to let it slide.  At the same time that your Bond forms, a stray Cultivationspren that shifted to the wrong Physical Realm arrives and starts hanging around you. You can see it thanks to your Bond with Glys and the Cultivationspren itself being unbonded. However, being unbonded, the Cultivationspren is not sapient, instead becoming little more than your pet ball-of-superfast-growing-vines.

Your bane is the constant scent of overripe blue cheese from behind a nearby obstruction (door, tree, etc), but never the one you look behind.

I wish for nothing, I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I. Please help the outcasts, the poor and downtrod.

Glys isn't cultivationspren I don't think... Wyndle is. Cultivationspren make edgedancers, not truthwatchers...

[Krandacth]

34 minutes ago, Drake Marshall said:

Glys isn't cultivationspren I don't think... Wyndle is. Cultivationspren make edgedancers, not truthwatchers...

Indeed. They asked for a Nahel Bond. They also asked for a Cultivationspren with it.

...

Edited April 25, 2017 by Krandacth

[Podman]

On 4/25/2017 at 0:04 AM, Radiant_Jaeger said:

 @Krandacth As it was you who granted my wish I shall not exact vengeance by saying wish granted, but you are now in a coma, enjoy nothingness. That would be totally uncool.

You forgot to ask for a wish, Krandacth, so I shall give you two boons! Mwahaahaahaaaa! First, from now on whenever you move you have to name the muscle as you move it, sort of like QWOP. If you say the wrong muscle, the muscle you said will move instead. Second, it is impossible for you to memorize any of the muscle names and how they work, so you have to carry around a giant pocketbook full of complex lists and diagrams of the human anatomy! 

I wish that 50% of all inanimate objects turn become alive in creative ways, and that each new species has ways of reproducing! And that 10% of the remaining 50% come alive into snakes with feet and hands with opposable thumbs that become the dominant species on the Earth!

[Brightness Enna she/her]

The Nightwatcher is confused. She doesn't know what Earth is, much less snakes. So you get enlarged cremlings with hands that take over only your house instead. Your furniture becomes their servants and you are forced to move. The Nightwatcher thinks that's appropriate, seeing as how you confused her with your incomprehensible vernacular.

As your bane, you receive limits on your knowledge: you can only learn 8,000 things about any one subject.

I wish to never have to use a school-issued yoga mat ever again.

[Farnsworth]

Granted. Instead you use the one in my dad's office.

I wish for Oathbringer.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. The sword, not the book.

You are now Torol Sadeas, and Dalinar gives you Oathbringer in exchange for freeing the bridgemen...

Seeing as you know how Words of Radiance ends, enjoy being Sadeas...

 

I wish that Jezrien would stop drooling.