Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[killersquirrel59 he/him]

So there is a classic forum game that I've usually seen called "yes, but". Usually used in reference to wishes. Basically, the first person posts a wish, then the poster after them grants that wish but tacks on a rider to make it awful, then posts their own wish. And so on and so on.

 

The Boons and Banes from the Nightwatcher seem ideal for this. Since the bane doesn't necessarily have to be directly connected to the boon granted, this opens up a bit more leeway, but I think it could still be at least mildly amusing to see what we lurkers of the forums come up with. 

So how about it? Who wants to play the Nightwatcher?

 

I'll start off with a wish that should be simple enough to screw over. 

 

"I ask the Nightwatcher for the boon of immortality. Let me live through the ages forever, seeing the march of history progress."

[Kobold King he/him]

"I ask the Nightwatcher for the boon of immortality. Let me live through the ages forever, seeing the march of history progress."

 

You will be forever undying, but you will age. Your body will twist and contort as the ages wear on, and your skeleton will crumble. Eventually the formless shape you inhabit will settle into a new type of body: you will become the first cremling. You will join the mass ranks of greatshell vermin, forced to wait and watch the humans you once mingled with live out their puny lives and wage their insignificant wars.

 

I have trouble getting around to writing sometimes, so:

 

"I ask the Nightwatcher for the gift of motivation."

[Edgedancer he/him]

Your motivation is to build an undead empire, which is actualy lead by Funtimes.

#calamityfuntime

 

"I would like to fly."

Edited September 23, 2014 by Edgedancer

[Ashiok]

You become a bird, with one day left to live

 

I would like the ability to create and destroy an jnfinite amount ofbubbles in which time doesn't pass which gets an internet connection and lights. It should be large enough to contain ten adults comfortably.

[Kobold King he/him]

I would like the ability to create and destroy an jnfinite amount ofbubbles in which time doesn't pass which gets an internet connection and lights. It should be large enough to contain ten adults comfortably.

 

Granted, but from here on out you will constantly feel like you need to sneeze.

 

I want the ability to retrieve Brandon Sanderson books from the future.

[killersquirrel59 he/him]

Granted, but from here on out you will constantly feel like you need to sneeze.

 

I want the ability to retrieve Brandon Sanderson books from the future.

Granted, but you lose the ability to read.

I ask for the boon of insight to know the secret contents of all of Brandon Sanderson's unpublished notes on the Cosmere.

[Edgedancer he/him]

 

I ask for the boon of insight to know the secret contents of all of Brandon Sanderson's unpublished notes on the Cosmere.

 

You gain that knowledge but you will forever loose all information about the books he already wrote and publish.

 

I ask for the ability to control time.

Edited September 23, 2014 by Edgedancer

[Left he/him]

Granted, but you can't move more than 2 feet from where you are this minute forever.

 

I want to have perfect cooking skills.

[Kobold King he/him]

Granted, but you no longer have a sense of taste.

 

I wish for the ability to summon real Pokémon to do my bidding.

[Ashiok]

Fine, but they don't obey your orders.

 

I ask to be a bendalloy ferring.

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Granted. You store nutrition, but any food you eat will bloat you exceedingly.

I wish to never have any drawbacks from a wish on this page.

[killersquirrel59 he/him]

Granted. You store nutrition, but any food you eat will bloat you exceedingly.

I wish to never have any drawbacks from a wish on this page.

Granted. PM Sent with your bane. You have not received a downside on this page.

I wish for the boon of power. I want to be able to wield every form of every power of investiture in the Cosmere.

[Kobold King he/him]

Granted. PM Sent with your bane. You have not received a downside on this page.

I wish for the boon of power. I want to be able to wield every form of every power of investiture in the Cosmere.

 

You will wield it, but Odium powers Hemalurgy through you and uses you a void-puppet for his eldritch schemes.

 

Can I have a ham sandwich?

[Left he/him]

Nope :lol:  

Yes, however the ham is still alive.

 

I want a really nice friendly alivened squirrel who loves me

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

Fine but the squirrel is the only thing you will love. When it dies you will enter a depressed state from which there is no leaving causing to whither away and die, pining for your lost squirrel.

I wish to be able to understand every written language that has, will and currently exists any where in the universe.

[Mailliw73 he/him]

You lose the ability to reason logically for trying to cheat the system.

This is what Killersquirrel sent me. Good job! I commend you.

[Kobold King he/him]

Fine but the squirrel is the only thing you will love. When it dies you will enter a depressed state from which there is no leaving causing to whither away and die, pining for your lost squirrel.

I wish to be able to understand every written language that has, will and currently exists any where in the universe.

 

Fair enough... but you can only understand the written word from now on. You can no longer understand voices.

 

I wish for a curse.

[Colby Jack he/him]

Fair enough... but you can only understand the written word from now on. You can no longer understand voices.

 

I wish for a curse.

Granted, every single piece of technology that requires even the tiniest bit of power will now blow up in your presence.

I really wish I didn't trip over my feet last night trying to take off my pants with my shoes still on.

[HobbitGuy1420]

Granted.  However, every third word you say from now on will come out reversed.  

 

I wish I was awesome.

[Zea mays]

You are now cursed with awesome and can only think and speak in TVTrope terms (the horror!)

I wish for the ability to make excellent sushi.

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

Fair enough... but you can only understand the written word from now on. You can no longer understand voices.

I wish for a curse.

I was hoping that would be my curse because I now have the ultimate reason not to talk to people. Leaving me time to read in peace.

[HobbitGuy1420]

Heh.  Foolish nightwatcher!  I already have that curse!

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

You are now cursed with awesome and can only think and speak in TVTrope terms (the horror!)

I wish for the ability to make excellent sushi.

Granted, but you may no Longer tast anything every again.

 

I wish to read Every book that Brandon will write, right now.

[Left he/him]

Granted, you may read the titles of all of his books, but that is it.

 

I want to breath underwater.

[Ashiok]

sure, but you can't breathe air.

 

No School, but same knowledge and recomendations as somebody who has school