People you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley

[Vargo Seldon he/him]

how do you bake spikes into salsa?  And if you did, wouldn't they notice?

Edit:  You shoud really invite me into the DA PM.

Edited November 11, 2018 by Kaladin78
Adding

[old man moomba he/him]

On 11/06/2018 at 9:58 PM, Dr. Jacques Rodriguez said:

Hmm, I have a project that might interest the denizens. It's salsa with tiny spikes that make you like salsa more. It will also be adapted for guacamole, to convert those goons who like guac. 

as you can see @Kalidin78 the spikes are tiny and mmake you like salsa more.

[+Ark1002]

We have guac versions.

They are superior.

[Vargo Seldon he/him]

I don't now, salsa is better with more mediums than guac.  Guac is only good with tortilla based foods, but you can put salsa on everything.  I think the tiny spikes in salsa would be good, but imagine you are eating that delicious corn chip you dipped in the salsa, and you suddenly bite down on something hard, and break your tooth.  You realize it's a tiny spike, and you panic and vomit all the salsa up.  See the problem?

[Silva]

That's when the DA would advertize their dental skills and tell you not to worry.

See? I'm helping you come up with even more divisions.

[Vargo Seldon he/him]

Ha, you sire, are a genius.  Can I head the DA's dental division?

[Voidus]

On 11/12/2018 at 6:31 AM, Silva said:

That's when the DA would advertize their dental skills and tell you not to worry.

See? I'm helping you come up with even more divisions.

Only problem here: All dentists are already DA affiliated.

[Silva]

Just now, Voidus said:

Only problem here: All dentists are already DA affiliated.

But no public statements have been made about that prior till now. It’s about time people learned who else to be wary of.

[Voidus]

Just now, Silva said:

But no public statements have been made about that prior till now. It’s about time people learned who else to be wary of.

I guess we figured it was obvious?
Everyone is scared of them, they study medical science at university and they stab people with sharp metal instruments.

Wasn't exactly meant to be a secret here.

[Vargo Seldon he/him]

Great well, can I be the head of the DA's official dentist division?

[Silva]

50 minutes ago, Voidus said:

I guess we figured it was obvious?
Everyone is scared of them, they study medical science at university and they stab people with sharp metal instruments.

Wasn't exactly meant to be a secret here.

And the tools they use...the resemblances are uncanny. How did we not see this before?

[Voidus]

8 minutes ago, Kaladin78 said:

Great well, can I be the head of the DA's official dentist division?

Sure, once you've had your loyalty spikes. They're relatively painless.
 

2 minutes ago, Silva said:

And the tools they use...the resemblances are uncanny. How did we not see this before?

It's like lawyers, an entire industry comprised entirely of people who are clearly missing large sections of their soul, how did people not realize they were DA test subjects?

[Silva]

38 minutes ago, Voidus said:

It's like lawyers, an entire industry comprised entirely of people who are clearly missing large sections of their soul, how did people not realize they were DA test subjects?

Lawyers were a little obvious, no one else would ever be so blood-thirsty. Maybe at least try to help your test subjects resemble typical people. All of them in only one profession is a little suspicious.

[+Ark1002]

Should I betray the DAs biggest secret? YEAH!

Teachers. Teachers have the ability to interact with regular people, and they only show their evil side to students. That is the secret the DA has been hiding.

[Vargo Seldon he/him]

2 hours ago, Silva said:

And the tools they use...the resemblances are uncanny. How did we not see this before?

Yes, right?  Now you all should let me be the official head of the dentist branch.

[MacThorstenson he/him]

1 minute ago, Kaladin78 said:

Yes, right?  Now you all should let me be the official head of the dentist branch.

Patience, I can't give you the role, but we don't let just anyone become a DA department head. You still need your loyalty spikes.

[Vargo Seldon he/him]

Loyalty spikes.  Right.  Well, I think I'll pass, I have more allegiance to the ghostbloods.  I still would like to spike peoples mouths though.  What a great way to pass on spikes...

[Fatebreaker he/him]

2 hours ago, Silva said:

Lawyers were a little obvious, no one else would ever be so blood-thirsty. Maybe at least try to help your test subjects resemble typical people. All of them in only one profession is a little suspicious.

Yes, we DEFINITELY don't have any other hidden divisions. And nothing to do with morgues, public transportation, or tour guides.

If only we did.

[Voidus]

1 hour ago, Fatebreaker said:

Yes, we DEFINITELY don't have any other hidden divisions. And nothing to do with morgues, public transportation, or tour guides.

If only we did.

You forgot the data entry clerks, HR departments, Fish and chips stores and... hmm... probably shouldn't be documenting all of these so publicly.

Wow that list sure is comprehensive. I mean, comprehensive of departments that don't exist. What with us not having any more hidden divisions and all. 

1 hour ago, Kaladin78 said:

Loyalty spikes.  Right.  Well, I think I'll pass, I have more allegiance to the ghostbloods.  I still would like to spike peoples mouths though.  What a great way to pass on spikes...

Well you can have one of the labs in Alley 5324, it's not on the same scale as the heads of departments labs but it does still have the standard 26 additional dimensions.

[I think I am here. he/him]

9 hours ago, Voidus said:

standard 26 additional dimensions.

Only 26? Tsk tsk, I expected better, DA. Tsk tsk.

*Tsk Tsks instensify*

[Vargo Seldon he/him]

11 hours ago, Voidus said:

Well you can have one of the labs in Alley 5324, it's not on the same scale as the heads of departments labs but it does still have the standard 26 additional dimensions.

Why thank you.  I wonder what that screaming echoing off the walls of alley 5324 is???  Hmm, well, we have more information in the name of science...

[I think I am here. he/him]

Oh, that’s just the sheep. Don’t mind them.

[Voidus]

Jeffrey marched along the halls, a pile of Koloss head in one hand, some silvery tinsel in the other, and a ladder in the other other. He hung the tinsel up, using a touch of Adhesion to ensure it stayed there if any of the experiments escaped and tried to tear it off, then balanced a Koloss head in the middle where the tinsel bowed, adhering it in the same way.

He'd never been entirely sure why festive decorations fell upon the decontamination department and not the department of festivity, but the organization of departments in the DA had never made a whole lot of sense.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

16 hours ago, Ookla the Lurker said:

but the organization of departments in the DA had never made a whole lot of sense.

 

Yeah, like that one department dedicated to hiding sewing needles inside of cookies. Whadda bunch of crem, am I right?

But that's beside the point. Because you know what else makes sense?

[Voidus]

On 11/27/2018 at 5:24 AM, Ookla the Libre said:

Yeah, like that one department dedicated to hiding sewing needles inside of cookies. Whadda bunch of crem, am I right?

But that's beside the point. Because you know what else makes sense?

Sewing needles? How dare you!
Sewing needles are nowhere near the correct alloy for steel required by Hemalurgy, that would be criminally inefficient!

We pull the heads off of thumbtacks and use the pin from those. Much better at reducing Hemalurgic decay.