Having a Bad Day? Stop here for a Good Rant!

[Guest]

Thanks. It's hard to see it that way, though. I'm a recent graduate with little experience, so they're probably hiring out-of-work aerospace engineers with NASA on their resumes, while I sit here with my year at a public high school and pitiful little internship. I know applying for jobs is something I have to do, but it's gotten to the point where I get depressed every time I start to fill out an app because I feel like it's a job I'm not going to get. 

 

It might help if you start casting your net wider.  There are a lot of other things to do with a library sciences degree.  I know what you really want is to be a youth librarian, but you may need to put in a few years as, say, an archivist before you break into your preferred niche.  Apply for everything you're qualified for.

 

Yes. I would advice exactly the same thing as Kaymyth. I would also add you are more interesting for future job if you already have one. It is a simple rule, being employed makes you desirable and it gives you work experience: it does not matter if the experience is not exactly what you want. As a rule of thumb, for a first professional job, you apply to everything that is a job which requires more or less your qualifications.

 

For instances, for my first very bad job, I applied to 400 companies. When I decided to leave, I applied to 500 companies before we landed the lucky call... I posted the whole story on the work thread. Do you want to know how many called back from all of these resumes? 

 

Two 

 

One I gave to my husband and the other, I didn't get. The job I ended getting was through networking and a bad telephone game... 

 

So do not despair. Keep sending in applications to actual job offers and to any place you may be remotely interested in. Most places do not even post open job offers when they need someone. Go in person, any place you may want to work, whether they have an open position or not. Ask to take to the responsible, shake hands, present yourself: when they look for someone, they'll remember the nice girl they met. Most places prefer to hire people they already know.

 

Do not frown on positions far away from your goal: a job is a job and as long as it uses your qualifications, it's good for your resume.

 

Cultivate your network. Get on linkedin. Add just about anyone you may know. Just do not stop trying: you will find something.

 

Good luck     

 

[Mistrunner]

Do you ever feel like you care too much about things? Things other people just seem to be able to take in stride or shrug off? Because I've been feeling like that lately, big-time.

A while ago I said something stupid. Something I nearly instantly regretted. Someone told me, candidly and eloquently, that it was a very stupid thing to say, and even though it was eloquent and was probably not meant to be unkind or anything, I felt like the most horrible creature to ever walk upon the face of this earth. A bit before that, I did something dumb, something I instantly thought was probably not a good idea, and not much later I was told it was, in fact, a very stupid thing to do. In fact, it was offensive. I apologized my face numb, but I can't get over it, and even though I tell myself no one really noticed or thought much of it I can't stop feeling awful about it. And then today someone told me basically that they thought it hadn't been the most intelligent idea- she's a wonderful person, lovely person, and she wasn't meaning to make me feel like this but it confirmed to me that yes, in fact, people did notice this stupid thing. And I feel like some horrible person for even thinking about doing it- and saying that other thing- in the first place.

And on top of that I have high school and I'm 99% sure I'll be moving before winter and I'm overwhelmed with... everything.

[TCshard]

Do you ever feel like you care too much about things? Things other people just seem to be able to take in stride or shrug off? Because I've been feeling like that lately, big-time.

A while ago I said something stupid. Something I nearly instantly regretted. Someone told me, candidly and eloquently, that it was a very stupid thing to say, and even though it was eloquent and was probably not meant to be unkind or anything, I felt like the most horrible creature to ever walk upon the face of this earth. A bit before that, I did something dumb, something I instantly thought was probably not a good idea, and not much later I was told it was, in fact, a very stupid thing to do. In fact, it was offensive. I apologized my face numb, but I can't get over it, and even though I tell myself no one really noticed or thought much of it I can't stop feeling awful about it. And then today someone told me basically that they thought it hadn't been the most intelligent idea- she's a wonderful person, lovely person, and she wasn't meaning to make me feel like this but it confirmed to me that yes, in fact, people did notice this stupid thing. And I feel like some horrible person for even thinking about doing it- and saying that other thing- in the first place.

And on top of that I have high school and I'm 99% sure I'll be moving before winter and I'm overwhelmed with... everything.

You mean that feeling when you suddenly remember a moment in your life that you regret and wish could go back and change, even if the other person had already forgotten but you still feel a need to make up for it? I get that all the time.

[Guest]

Do you ever feel like you care too much about things? Things other people just seem to be able to take in stride or shrug off? Because I've been feeling like that lately, big-time.

A while ago I said something stupid. Something I nearly instantly regretted. Someone told me, candidly and eloquently, that it was a very stupid thing to say, and even though it was eloquent and was probably not meant to be unkind or anything, I felt like the most horrible creature to ever walk upon the face of this earth. A bit before that, I did something dumb, something I instantly thought was probably not a good idea, and not much later I was told it was, in fact, a very stupid thing to do. In fact, it was offensive. I apologized my face numb, but I can't get over it, and even though I tell myself no one really noticed or thought much of it I can't stop feeling awful about it. And then today someone told me basically that they thought it hadn't been the most intelligent idea- she's a wonderful person, lovely person, and she wasn't meaning to make me feel like this but it confirmed to me that yes, in fact, people did notice this stupid thing. And I feel like some horrible person for even thinking about doing it- and saying that other thing- in the first place.

And on top of that I have high school and I'm 99% sure I'll be moving before winter and I'm overwhelmed with... everything.

 

I know how that feels  I stop counting the number of times I have gotten my foot into my mouth without intending to. I cannot say how many cat fights I ended in because people thought what I said/write was offensive even if I couldn't see/comprehend why. At one point, I though I was the vilest of the human beings for being so obnoxious most of the time.

 

Bottom line is you are not a horrible person. Having a misplaced thought and voicing it out load does not make you a horrible person. You have been kindly told you have made a mistake. You are feeling awful. That is not the mark of a horrible person, but a very empathetic one who trying to deal with the issue.

 

It is not always easy when our emotions make us impulsive and go ahead of reason: I know about that. I could write a book on that very subject. However, please know you are not any less wonderful than this friend you mention. Everyone has misplaced thoughts and the most blunt of us will speak out at inappropriate times, but it does not make us horrible, simply human.

 

For the rest, I'd advice to deal with the things when they come: do not put the cart ahead of the bull.

[Kobold King he/him]

One of my cats--the sweetest, most gentle of my cats--has gone missing.

 

It's not like him to wander off or hide from us. I'm worried about him.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

One of my cats--the sweetest, most gentle of my cats--has gone missing.

 

It's not like him to wander off or hide from us. I'm worried about him.

 

How long has he been gone? 

[Kobold King he/him]

How long has he been gone? 

 

At least two days. Which might not sound like much, but this is a pampered tomcat who spends nearly every day sleeping in the chair beside me while I'm on the computer. For him to not be in the house... well, like I said. It's worrying.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

At least two days. Which might not sound like much, but this is a pampered tomcat who spends nearly every day sleeping in the chair beside me while I'm on the computer. For him to not be in the house... well, like I said. It's worrying.

 

Yikes. Hope he's okay.  

[Haelbarde he/him]

There've been two occasions when family cats have gone missing for a while. One we didn't see for about 4 days (being my little sisters cat, she was extremely concerned), and another one was gone about a week, maybe be a bit more. Fortunately both turned up again, so hopefully the same applies with your cat.

[Kobold King he/him]

There've been two occasions when family cats have gone missing for a while. One we didn't see for about 4 days (being my little sisters cat, she was extremely concerned), and another one was gone about a week, maybe be a bit more. Fortunately both turned up again, so hopefully the same applies with your cat.

 

That happens pretty frequently around here. Most of the time they show back up--disappearing then reappearing is just a habit for a few of them.

 

Blackthorn, though... contrary to the name, he is neither fierce nor strong. And he's never done this before, and every night I hear the local coyotes singing... I know worrying doesn't do any good, but I can't help it.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

A friend and I once came to the conclusion that most cats must go on an epic quest of self-discovery. This was when his cat had gone missing for awhile (a couple weeks, I believe). After the cat returned, he was hailed as a conquering hero... and never allowed out again.

 

Hope Blackthorn's epic quest of self-discovery is considerably shorter!

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

I am so sorry Kobold. I hate losing ( temporarily) a friend.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

why is it so much trouble to call 5 minutes before you come to pick your car up so we can have it ready for you 

 

why does everyone who picks up on Saturdays manage to come in right when I leave for 5 minutes to eat my lunch no matter when I leave

 

why does there only have to be a problem when there's no one here to solve it 

 

why why I don't understand whhhyyyyyyyyy

[Kaymyth she/her]

That happens pretty frequently around here. Most of the time they show back up--disappearing then reappearing is just a habit for a few of them.

 

Blackthorn, though... contrary to the name, he is neither fierce nor strong. And he's never done this before, and every night I hear the local coyotes singing... I know worrying doesn't do any good, but I can't help it.

 

Well, if he's an unaltered tom, then he may have found a lovely queen in heat off somewhere that he's mooning over?

[Briar King]

Crap I want to play Destiny. This left hand pain needs to buzz off so I can.

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

Ahhh. That feeling you get when you check your bank account and find you have negative money.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Ahhh. That feeling you get when you check your bank account and find you have negative money.

 

I get why banks do that, but it's so scuzzy.  Overdraft fees are one of those things where I can't understand why they're not illegal. 

[Mestiv he/him]

They just need a way to take money from you even when you don't have any if it was illegal, banks would simply tell you some other way how much you owe them and nothing would change after all.

[Kobold King he/him]

Ahhh. That feeling you get when you check your bank account and find you have negative money.

 

This is relevant.

 

[Voidus]

Have I mentioned how much I hate flying?
I believe I mention it approximately every time I ever fly. Because I'm 6'5 and trying to fit into a seat designed for midgets so my knees are already located somewhere around my ears.

Then inevitably someone sitting in front of me decides that hey I'm just not uncomfortable enough with my severe anxiety, chronic headaches and crushed limbs so they decide to recline the seat back as far as possible so my knees hit me in the face.

And when I land I get to look forward to the terrible air quality of the flight triggering some latent medical issues so I'm going to feel like I'm getting stabbed in the eye for the next month or so.

On the plus side I at least have painkillers that actually mildly help now so after nearly a decade of having these problems they're at least just tortuous rather than making me wish I was dead.

[Kaymyth she/her]

Ahhh. That feeling you get when you check your bank account and find you have negative money.

 

 

I get why banks do that, but it's so scuzzy.  Overdraft fees are one of those things where I can't understand why they're not illegal. 

 

You should be able to opt out of overdraft.  Granted, it means that checks will bounce and debit cards will decline if your balance is too low, but it's an option.

 

That must be immensely frustrating. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

I'm going to complain about something I've complained about before. Arrogant as it might sound, I consider myself to be a very rational person. I consistently analyze my own thoughts and opinions and revise them in light of a logical shortcoming I have noticed, or new information ; I have familiarized myself with lists of logical fallacies, so as to better recognize them in myself and the arguments of others ; my worldview functions largely independently from the context I am surrounded by.

I recognize the irrationality of certain emotions.

Regardless, feelings operate mostly independently of cognition, however well-structured it may be. A lot of the time, the only thing that the less antediluvian parts of my brain can do is suppress these things.

The specific problem I am griping about is an oxytocin and dopamine fueled haze of attraction for a certain girl, who, through analysis of our respective beings, I have reached the conclusion that I am utterly incompatible with. Combined with my personal belief that relationships at this stage of life (I'm in 10th grade) are not conducive to a person's general success, this predicament is immensely frustrating. I know that the overwhelming reason for this crush is simply because she is absolutely, absolutely gorgeous, and not because of any level of attraction between personalities. However, this doesn't stop me from eagerly awaiting responses to lackluster text conversations in which I am subconsciously guided to attempt to (unassumingly) display the positive qualities that would make me a good romantic partner, or pulling the modern version of dumping a freshly killed hunk of mammoth meat at the opening of her family's tent (giving her the majority of the fortune cookies I made for friends at the end of the year.). It's annoying, and I hate having to resist the hormonal whip-crack that drives this affection.

But despite the silliness of it all, I am left hopelessly swooning.

 

Alas, no matter how logical and rational you may be, you're still a teenager.  Hormones are a thing.  Don't worry yourself over it too much; have a little fun mooning over her.

 

Write some really terrible poetry; that might help get some of it out of your system.

 

[Orlion Blight he/him]

And whatever you do, do not face plant on a gravelly driveway. 

 

I suppose it could be worse, it's just my leftside of my face is swollen, I got a black eye, and worst of all: scrapped knees!

[Guest]

The specific problem I am griping about is an oxytocin and dopamine fueled haze of attraction for a certain girl, who, through analysis of our respective beings, I have reached the conclusion that I am utterly incompatible with. Combined with my personal belief that relationships at this stage of life (I'm in 10th grade) are not conducive to a person's general success, this predicament is immensely frustrating. I know that the overwhelming reason for this crush is simply because she is absolutely, absolutely gorgeous, and not because of any level of attraction between personalities. However, this doesn't stop me from eagerly awaiting responses to lackluster text conversations in which I am subconsciously guided to attempt to (unassumingly) display the positive qualities that would make me a good romantic partner, or pulling the modern version of dumping a freshly killed hunk of mammoth meat at the opening of her family's tent (giving her the majority of the fortune cookies I made for friends at the end of the year.). It's annoying, and I hate having to resist the hormonal whip-crack that drives this affection.

But despite the silliness of it all, I am left hopelessly swooning.

 

Ah.... See... Love is anything but rational and rationality often fail to explain the emotional response we sometimes get. We don't fall in love with other people because we have rationally deduced our personalities were compatible and if we were to do this, we may indeed end up closing ourselves on true potential matches.

 

There is a lot more to relationships that is not explained by rationality. I once asked my father why he chose to marry my mother and he wisely said: "I have dated other women, but each time, I was unnerved by certain things. Then I dated your mother and I sure was unnerved by certain things, but somehow, with her, it didn't matter... I was not bothered by it, not with her."

 

In other words, do not overthink it too much. What you think is compatible with you may not end up being it, in the end. Or maybe it will exactly be it, but it often is more complicated than that. Love is not rational. Feelings are not rational. They are the antithesis of rationality, but it does not mean they should be quell down. There are good things about feelings.

 

I would thus say, let is happen. There is nothing wrong with swooning over a gorgeous girl even if it never moves forward. It may be the first time, but trust me, this is not the last. There will be others, but for the time being, enjoy it. Make hearts with your names in it, listen to crappy music, watch dumb movies, write crappy poetry as Kaymith suggested, but let it happen.

 

By going through your crush, you'll learn something about yourself. 

Edited August 24, 2015 by maxal

[Kobold King he/him]

To the person who started an article about the phobia of taxidermy with a close-up of a badly stuffed monkey with its face mounted in a grotesque grin:

 

 

I mean, who would start an arachnophobia article with a surprise wolf spider portrait? THIS IS NOT OK.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

To the person who started an article about the phobia of taxidermy with a close-up of a badly stuffed monkey with its face mounted in a grotesque grin:

 

 

I mean, who would start an arachnophobia article with a surprise wolf spider portrait? THIS IS NOT OK.

This is Kobold we're talking about, So I don't know if there's a meme in that spoiler, or the badly stuffed Monkey Face. Should I open it or not Kobold?