Having a Bad Day? Stop here for a Good Rant!

[maxal]

 

None of this is new information for me.   I honestly could go either way; I'm OK with having a kid, and OK with not (though the notion of trying to keep up with a toddler at my age-appropriate energy levels is food for trepidation).  I do have an elementary ed degree, and while I'm not teaching now, I did it enough to know that I like kids.  Generally speaking, though, I find them a lot easier to relate to/communicate with once they reach about 3rd grade or so. 

 

But my husband is another story.  He is comedically uncomfortable around small children.  He doesn't even know what to do with his own nieces (though it is getting better now that they're getting old enough to hold a conversation).  And he has confessed to me that he doesn't think that babies are cute.  My feelings on the matter aren't strong enough for me to want to push him into something life-changing that he's not sure he wants to do.

 

Bah energy lever related to age is a complete myth: I am much more energetic now than 10 years ago when I was crippled with insomnia. Being older also tends to make us more patient and less prone to over-anxiety. Very young parents tend to stress out as to whether they will know how to take care of the child, older parents tend to wonder if they will keep up. It is true pregnancy may be more difficult as you get older, but pregnancy can be difficult at any age. I HATED being pregnant  When my son was born, I was almost jumping around in happiness over not being pregnant anymore 

 

As for how you relate to children, do not forget they are not your children. How we behave towards other children is not a testimony as to how we behave with ours. It is completely, widely different. Even if you prefer older children, you will find ways to bound and communicate with your child much before 3rd grade. You will find your own child unbelievably adorable, cute and amazing even as a gurgling baby: you will think no baby gurgles as well as yours   Each age has its perks.

 

As for your husband, it is normal he does not know what to do with small children, even his nieces. Very few people without children know what to do with one... unless they are child-crazy people. I couldn't care less about other children when I was childless, same with my husband who regarded babies as weird creatures, but yours is different. It is your child. And of course he thinks other babies are not cute: my husband thinks babies are ugly for the most part  but HIS babies were cute  Men are rarely interested in babies... especially others babies. Their babies though... is a different matter... 

 

However you are absolutely right in stating making a child is a life-changing decision and both partners should agree on it  If neither you nor your husband are inclined to have a child, then it is a very fine decision. The only additional piece of advice I would say on the matter is to make sure you will not regret it later on and don't think because you prefer older kids you won't be able to enjoy your little ones. I mean, when your 2 years old comes forward, little eyes bright with pride, to show you his "drawing", your heart will melt even if it is the ugliest shapeless drawing you have ever seen 

[A Joe in the Bush]

 I wouldn't suggest watching it in front of them—I've received more than one lecture for sharing my love of "kids' shows" with my parents—but if you have consistent and somewhat private computer access, watching it online might be a good alternative. All episodes are free on YouTube; I don't think I've ever watched it on TV. 

Yeah, i don't ever watch it in front of them. I only watch it on the TV when I know they're all busy at the moment. and While I do watch the majority of episodes online, it's just so much better on the widescreen you know?

 

Should you ever decide to come out of the Brony closet, I recommend doing it in spectacular fashion.  Wait till everyone's out of the house, and then decorate the whole thing in MLP themed stuff.  Wear MLP clothes.  Bonus points if you pin a cutie mark to your hip.  Then start blasting MLP:FiM on every screen in the house for when they return.

That is definitely what I'll do If i ever do leave the closet. Of course, that means I'll actually have to get merchandise.

[maxal]

The worldbuilding is innovative and deep, far more so than that of adult-oriented science fiction shows like Revolution.

 

As for how I'm doing, I'm glad I'm staying home sick from church. My mom threw a tantrum because my sister wanted to use the straightener at the same time she needed to use it, stormed into the bathroom and said she'd use mine. Without asking me, of course. Why should she?

 

Truth to be said, Revolution is a very poor show. Everything ringed false in that one and I haven't last more than one season, perhaps not even that. 

 

On the subject of adults shows, I personally have a hard time finding new shows to watch... I don't have endless time to invest trying out new things, so I kind of need to know I'll like before I dedicate myself to it. I agree about your plea for more optimistic and round-up characters in adult TV series, but that sad truth is adults TV series have to do with about 10 episodes per season nowadays whereas kids shows have much more to go on. However, I for one likes when my shows deals with adults matters such as relationships and these aren't tackled in kids shows, but I sure would not frown on anyone watching them.

 

I actually watched several MLP with my daughter. She has now moved on to a new interest: Sofia the First.... It is not bad for a princess show. At least, it teaches good morality.

 

As for the last bit... why don't your mother buy a hair straightener for your sister instead of them having to share? Wouldn't that solve the issue?

[Silverblade5]

{confort}

 

As for how I'm doing, I'm glad I'm staying home sick from church. My mom threw a tantrum because my sister wanted to use the straightener at the same time she needed to use it, stormed into the bathroom and said she'd use mine. Without asking me, of course. Why should she?

Have you ever heard of the word "no"?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Truth to be said, Revolution is a very poor show. Everything ringed false in that one and I haven't last more than one season, perhaps not even that. 

 

On the subject of adults shows, I personally have a hard time finding new shows to watch... I don't have endless time to invest trying out new things, so I kind of need to know I'll like before I dedicate myself to it. I agree about your plea for more optimistic and round-up characters in adult TV series, but that sad truth is adults TV series have to do with about 10 episodes per season nowadays whereas kids shows have much more to go on. However, I for one likes when my shows deals with adults matters such as relationships and these aren't tackled in kids shows, but I sure would not frown on anyone watching them.

 

I actually watched several MLP with my daughter. She has now moved on to a new interest: Sofia the First.... It is not bad for a princess show. At least, it teaches good morality.

 

As for the last bit... why don't your mother buy a hair straightener for your sister instead of them having to share? Wouldn't that solve the issue?

 

I could write an entire essay on all the fails in that show, beginning with the fact that every post-apocalyptic woman has perfect hair and ending with Charlie. Just…Charlie. 

 

I don't mind it when adult shows tackle adult topics, either, but they nearly all tackle them in the same way. Everything is so cynical—with a few exceptions. MLP is far more optimistic, and that's part of what I love about it. 

 

I don't know. I just don't know. It could be that she and my mom get ready at different times in the morning, so it's rarely an issue—save for on days like today, when everyone needs to be ready by a certain time. 

 

Have you ever heard of the word "no"?

 

Of course I've heard of it. I can't use it on my mom without earning a lecture covering these topics: 

 

• I bought you this straightener as a Christmas gift. This is my money and I can use it whenever I want. 
• I gave it to you out of the goodness of my heart. You should let me use it out of pure gratitude. 
• You live in my house. When you're out on your own, you can be as selfish as you want with what you have, but for now, you live with us. 
• We are a family. Family helps each other without complaint, and what would really help me right now is having one thing I can use to get ready without people harping on me about it. 

 

I know the answer for my situation seems obvious: Stand up for yourself. Don't let her keep you down like that. But in my house, the cost of standing up for yourself is so high that it just isn't worth it. 

[Silverblade5]

I could write an entire essay on all the fails in that show, beginning with the fact that every post-apocalyptic woman has perfect hair and ending with Charlie. Just…Charlie. 

 

I don't mind it when adult shows tackle adult topics, either, but they nearly all tackle them in the same way. Everything is so cynical—with a few exceptions. MLP is far more optimistic, and that's part of what I love about it. 

 

I don't know. I just don't know. It could be that she and my mom get ready at different times in the morning, so it's rarely an issue—save for on days like today, when everyone needs to be ready by a certain time. 

 

 

Of course I've heard of it. I can't use it on my mom without earning a lecture covering these topics: 

 

• I bought you this straightener as a Christmas gift. This is my money and I can use it whenever I want. 
• I gave it to you out of the goodness of my heart. You should let me use it out of pure gratitude. 
• You live in my house. When you're out on your own, you can be as selfish as you want with what you have, but for now, you live with us. 
• We are a family. Family helps each other without complaint, and what would really help me right now is having one thing I can use to get ready without people harping on me about it. 

 

I know the answer for my situation seems obvious: Stand up for yourself. Don't let her keep you down like that. But in my house, the cost of standing up for yourself is so high that it just isn't worth it. 

Now that we know what her response would be, why don't we brainstorm some counter arguments? Also, if the cost of standing up for yourself is to high, then maybe we should instead focus on knocking her off the latter.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Now that we know what her response would be, why don't we brainstorm some counter arguments? Also, if the cost of standing up for yourself is to high, then maybe we should instead focus on knocking her off the latter.

 

It's not worth it, all right? I've tried everything. Reason doesn't work because when she's angry, she stays angry. Confronting her about what she's done in the past—even the very recent past—doesn't work because she'll deny anything that makes her look bad. I even have to tread carefully when I talk to her about things in the present because you never know what will set her off. I don't even tell her what happened at work anymore because if she thinks I didn't handle a situation well—even if it was exactly the way my boss wanted me to handle it—she'll store it away and trot it out when she needs ammunition. 

 

I appreciate your wanting to help, but the only thing I'm confident I can do in this situation is get a real job, get an apartment, and get out.

[Silverblade5]

It's not worth it, all right? I've tried everything. Reason doesn't work because when she's angry, she stays angry. Confronting her about what she's done in the past—even the very recent past—doesn't work because she'll deny anything that makes her look bad. I even have to tread carefully when I talk to her about things in the present because you never know what will set her off. I don't even tell her what happened at work anymore because if she thinks I didn't handle a situation well—even if it was exactly the way my boss wanted me to handle it—she'll store it away and trot it out when she needs ammunition. 

 

I appreciate your wanting to help, but the only thing I'm confident I can do in this situation is get a real job, get an apartment, and get out.

Well then do just that. There are plenty of jobs available that you might be able to do. You need to get two or three or four of them, and GTFO. They might be crappy jobs, but they'll at least get you out. I'd much rather live on my own working a crappy job than have to go through this. I personally say that someone should start a kickstarter to get TWi out of there. Again, have you ever tried seeking counselling?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Well then do just that. There are plenty of jobs available that you might be able to do. You need to get two or three or four of them, and GTFO. They might be crappy jobs, but they'll at least get you out. I'd much rather live on my own working a crappy job than have to go through this. I personally say that someone should start a kickstarter to get TWi out of there. Again, have you ever tried seeking counselling?

 

I've been applying for library jobs, though I'm not going with anything part-time. They pay decent, but not live-on-your-own-while-working-part-time decent. And between my mom and I right now, things are more peaceful than they were in the past. I just never know what'll set her off, so I want to get out of here before that happens. 

 

I've tried looking at online counselors, but they charge way more than I can afford right now. 

[Orlion Blight]

Tis dream to think that Reason can

Govern the Reasoning creature, Man.

 

It's like what was posted elsewhere, you just need to let people go and do their own thing and get a dog (or cat).

[Haelbarde]

Tis dream to think that Reason can

Govern the Reasoning creature, Man.

 

It's like what was posted elsewhere, you just need to let people go and do their own thing and get a dog (or cat).

By which you mean she should get a pug.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

And now I'm about to take my brother to the urgent care clinic. Me, who stayed home sick today, in hopes I wouldn't wake up sicker tomorrow.

My dad is home, but he's too busy remodeling the bathroom to do it.

And it turns out my brother had asked my dad to take him at 3, but Dad didn't even look at his phone until my brother texted me asking me to send Dad upstairs, after which Dad asked if I was feeling well enough to take him. So we get to the clinic two minutes before they closed, which is where I am now. While Dad is at home remodeling the bathroom. And I get that a remodeled bathroom will be important if we put the house on the market, but really? It's more important than taking a guy who is so sick he can't keep any food down to the clinic?

Edited June 29, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kaymyth]

Bah energy lever related to age is a complete myth: I am much more energetic now than 10 years ago when I was crippled with insomnia. Being older also tends to make us more patient and less prone to over-anxiety. Very young parents tend to stress out as to whether they will know how to take care of the child, older parents tend to wonder if they will keep up. It is true pregnancy may be more difficult as you get older, but pregnancy can be difficult at any age. I HATED being pregnant  When my son was born, I was almost jumping around in happiness over not being pregnant anymore 

 

....

 

However you are absolutely right in stating making a child is a life-changing decision and both partners should agree on it  If neither you nor your husband are inclined to have a child, then it is a very fine decision. The only additional piece of advice I would say on the matter is to make sure you will not regret it later on and don't think because you prefer older kids you won't be able to enjoy your little ones. I mean, when your 2 years old comes forward, little eyes bright with pride, to show you his "drawing", your heart will melt even if it is the ugliest shapeless drawing you have ever seen 

 

I'm actually speaking about myself in particular here - I truly just do not have the stamina that I did when I was in my twenties.  I'm not in terrible shape by any means, but I cannot function on a lack of sleep anymore like I used to.  Plus I've got fiddly joints; just chucked out all of my heels because my knees just can't take them anymore.

 

And, y'know, we've got nieces and nephews.  I have all the makings of a fantastic crazy aunt.  I'm having a tremendous amount of fun with the fact that my brother's stepson is almost exactly like I was when I was a kid.  There is a next generation of geek, and I have the added bonus of getting to give them back when I'm done corrupting them to the dork side.

 

It's not worth it, all right? I've tried everything. Reason doesn't work because when she's angry, she stays angry. Confronting her about what she's done in the past—even the very recent past—doesn't work because she'll deny anything that makes her look bad. I even have to tread carefully when I talk to her about things in the present because you never know what will set her off. I don't even tell her what happened at work anymore because if she thinks I didn't handle a situation well—even if it was exactly the way my boss wanted me to handle it—she'll store it away and trot it out when she needs ammunition. 

 

I appreciate your wanting to help, but the only thing I'm confident I can do in this situation is get a real job, get an apartment, and get out.

 

See, everyone on the forum are, for the most part, reasonable well-adjusted people who can follow a logical progression.  It is difficult for people who are reasonable to fathom those who are not.

 

Me, I've had practice in fathoming the unfathomable.  My former housemate became our housemate because of parental crazy.  Oh, if I could only tell the stories, your parents would start looking downright normal in comparison.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

See, everyone on the forum are, for the most part, reasonable well-adjusted people who can follow a logical progression. It is difficult for people who are reasonable to fathom those who are not.

Me, I've had practice in fathoming the unfathomable. My former housemate became our housemate because of parental crazy. Oh, if I could only tell the stories, your parents would start looking downright normal in comparison.

I don't doubt it. My parents do often look normal and even charming to the outside world. I've only recently begun realizing that all the crazy awful things they did were indeed crazy and awful. But I do have some legitimately good memories with them, so that's something.

[Silverblade5]

I don't doubt it. My parents do often look normal and even charming to the outside world. I've only recently begun realizing that all the crazy awful things they did were indeed crazy and awful. But I do have some legitimately good memories with them, so that's something.

Do you have any friends you could move in with? Room mate perhaps?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Do you have any friends you could move in with? Room mate perhaps?

No. I took online classes for my Master's, which saved money and time but meant I didn't really meet anyone. All of my extended family lives elsewhere, so there's not really anyone I could move in with.

Plus, this is more of a political game than anything else. If I moved in with someone else right now, my parents would suspect something was up. It might end with hurt feelings; it would probably end with them accusing me of being selfish and not remembering any of the good things they did for me. They already know I'm looking for a library job and they approve, so if I find a library job and move out then, they'll see it as me taking the next step in adulthood.

[Silverblade5]

No. I took online classes for my Master's, which saved money and time but meant I didn't really meet anyone. All of my extended family lives elsewhere, so there's not really anyone I could move in with.

Plus, this is more of a political game than anything else. If I moved in with someone else right now, my parents would suspect something was up. It might end with hurt feelings; it would probably end with them accusing me of being selfish and not remembering any of the good things they did for me. They already know I'm looking for a library job and they approve, so if I find a library job and move out then, they'll see it as me taking the next step in adulthood.

Will until you can get that job, what you need is get as many part time jobs as you need to carry you through until then. Get 3 if you need to. Grocery bagging, restaurant, dog walking. These are all possibilities. Whatever you need, just do it. You may quit once you've gotten the job. Work as a high school coach. I here the pay for that is good.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

The second I decide to eat my lunch, someone walks in.

The second I start to open my thermos, he decides to wait by my desk for the meeting he's scheduled for.

What does he have against non-hungry receptionists?

Edit: Now he's sitting...by my desk.

HOW'S ABOUT I COME STAND BY YOUR DESK AND SIGH WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO EAT, PAL????

Edited June 29, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King]

Edit: Now he's sitting...by my desk.

HOW'S ABOUT I COME STAND BY YOUR DESK AND SIGH WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO EAT, PAL????

 

 

Is chewing with your mouth wide open an option?

[A Joe in the Bush]

Is chewing with your mouth wide open an option?

 

EDIT: Hey kobold how do you post a GIF? It wouldn't let me.

Edited June 29, 2015 by The Only Joe

[Kobold King]

 

 

 

Exactly what I had in mind.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Is chewing with your mouth wide open an option?

Only if I want him to complain to my boss.

Okay. He's gone now. I was able to eat, but he of course had a few last words in front of my desk before I could get to the last bite.

If I didn't know better, I'd think this entire place was bugged by a Starve he Receptionist Brigade.

[Kobold King]

Only if I want him to complain to my boss.

Okay. He's gone now. I was able to eat, but he of course had a few last words in front of my desk before I could get to the last bite.

If I didn't know better, I'd think this entire place was bugged by a Starve he Receptionist Brigade.

 

 

The vengeful spirit of a hungry receptionist, who seeks to ensure that no one will ever get a peaceful meal in your building?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

The vengeful spirit of a hungry receptionist, who seeks to ensure that no one will ever get a peaceful meal in your building?

Huh. I didn't think this building was old enough for that.

[Orlion Blight]

Huh. I didn't think this building was old enough for that.

 

You only need a receptionist who starved in the building! Now, she wanders the halls, searching for a meal to sate her hunger! But that hunger is now spiritual, and can only be assuaged by the tears of those who wronged her in life!

 

Run! Run before it is too late!