Ridiculous things you did as a kid

[TheOokla929]

This is a thread to post some of the ridiculous things you have done as a child. Be it funny, smart, embarrassing, or otherwise, share it here!

 I have eaten two worms (wow I mistyped that and it autocorrected to women), one grub (to eat it, me and my cousin pinched the head off so it couldn’t bite us, but then the guts started spilling out. Yeesh), and a ton of little ants (you have to pinch off the abdomens and eat those. They tasted citrusy and delicious. No regrets there). These were a result of watching Bear Grylls.

 I also sometimes (*cough* still *cough cough*) would eat paper.

Have fun!

Edited May 6 by TheAlpha929

[Potato's Wit]

18 minutes ago, TheAlpha929 said:

This is a thread to post some of the ridiculous things you have done as a child. Be it funny, smart, embarrassing, or otherwise, share it here!

 I have eaten two worms (wow I mistyped that and it autocorrected to women), one grub (to eat it, me and my cousin pinched the head off so it couldn’t bite us, but then the guts started spilling out. Yeesh), and a ton of little ants (you have to pinch off the abdomens and eat those. They tasted citrusy and delicious. No regrets there). These were a result of watching Bear Grylls.

 I also sometimes (*cough* still *cough cough*) would eat paper.

Have fun!

Ew.... I hate bugs. I think I would throw up if I ate a grub. But paper is fun to eat.

[Lord Gregorio]

I as well would eat paper, and grass. I also enjoyed laying on the floor and flipping those door stop spring thingies as I'm sure many did. I spent a lot of time sitting and daydreaming up stories in my head, which is probably one of the reasons I really like writing stories now.

[Ookla the Believer]

I would catch snakes in my backyard and sell them to my parents for rocks. 

I would also, like, recall books I'd read in my brain, I'd go through the entire plot and remember parts I liked, sentences I liked, punctuation that made me feel happy inside, that sort of thing.

I've never stopped eating paper. I'm always eating paper, every second of every day. I'm eating paper right now, you just can't see it. I'm still a child, still a smaller than average human who eats pap--

[Ookla the Immortal]

18 hours ago, Lord Gregorio said:

I as well would eat paper, and grass. I also enjoyed laying on the floor and flipping those door stop spring thingies as I'm sure many did. I spent a lot of time sitting and daydreaming up stories in my head, which is probably one of the reasons I really like writing stories now.

i don't want to talk about how long I've spent flipping the door stop things.

I ate paper (normal). However, I also read books upside down and backwards (it's actually super fun, you should try it (i still do)). Only short ones, but still.

11 hours ago, Edema Ruh said:

I would catch snakes in my backyard and sell them to my parents for rocks. 

 

Lucky. I don't have snakes in my backyard. I have plenty of rocks though  

[TheOokla929]

I actually had three imaginary friends. They were my best friends after my mom. Yeah. You heard me. I didn’t have a lot of friends. Anyway, the three friends:

1. Invisible. That was his name. He looked exactly like Casper the Friendly Ghost. He was (get this) invisible. He was my best best friend, and whenever I played tic-tac-toe or chess he would be the one I played against.

2. Ploho. Yes, his name was Ploho. I’m not sure why, I believe it was because I couldn’t think of a normal name (I was 4, gimme a break). Ploho was black with curly black hair, a red shirt, and blue shorts. We hung out a lot.

3. Candy-Lion. His name evolved like this: my sister had a TBI, and because of that she had sleep apnea (don’t worry she made a beautiful, miraculous recovery. Proof God lives and loves us) so to help her breathe while she slept we had this big clunky machine with a cannula. She pronounced it “candy-la” which gave me the idea for “candy-lion”. He was a walking lion who had candy in his mane. He was fun to be around, though he was a bit of a scaredy-cat (yep, inspired by the Cowardly Lion)

[Spren of Kindness]

I used to lay in my bedroom door to catch the light from the hallway to read.  And I used to believe that you couldn't take concrete through airport security.  I don't know why I believed that, but I did.

[TheOokla929]

17 hours ago, Spren of Kindness said:

used to lay in my bedroom door to catch the light from the hallway to read.

I still do that! 

[InfiniteInsanity]

When I was two I stuck a fly swatter on my foot and used it to whack my dad in the head during the long drive to where we currently live.

And then it got stuck. And when I said stuck it sounded like duck. So my parents thought I was saying I was a duck when I was trying to say I'm stuck. They asked me what a duck says and now in my house ducks say "Help me!"

[TheOokla929]

On 5/8/2023 at 11:01 PM, InfiniteInsanity said:

When I was two I stuck a fly swatter on my foot and used it to whack my dad in the head during the long drive to where we currently live.

And then it got stuck. And when I said stuck it sounded like duck. So my parents thought I was saying I was a duck when I was trying to say I'm stuck. They asked me what a duck says and now in my house ducks say "Help me!"

That’s adorable 

[Cruciatus_heart]

Deliberately spilled the milk i was given in a glass onto the floor and then licked it up from there 

My sister used to call me a cat

[Ookla the Immortal]

On 5/7/2023 at 10:46 PM, Spren of Kindness said:

I used to lay in my bedroom door to catch the light from the hallway to read.  And I used to believe that you couldn't take concrete through airport security.  I don't know why I believed that, but I did.

i usually used lamps, but i've done that occasionally

On 5/8/2023 at 9:01 PM, InfiniteInsanity said:

When I was two I stuck a fly swatter on my foot and used it to whack my dad in the head during the long drive to where we currently live.

And then it got stuck. And when I said stuck it sounded like duck. So my parents thought I was saying I was a duck when I was trying to say I'm stuck. They asked me what a duck says and now in my house ducks say "Help me!"

that is incredible.

[The Stormfather]

one time I was trying to sneak up on my friend and i was concentrating so i didn'tf even see the bunny right in front of me.

[Ookla the Sibling]

Once I rode a tricycle down the steps of my front porch

[Mason Wheeler]

When I was very young, I honestly used to think that Chinese people must be very poor, because they can't afford forks and knives to eat with, just sticks. 

[Ookla the foolish]

I used to hide under the sheets in my bed with a flashlight and read, then pretend to be asleep when my parents came in, then read more after they left.

[Ookla The Storyteller]

when i was very small, i made toast.

i turned to my mother and said, "you know, I make really good toast. I think when I grow up, I'll open a restaurant, and call it Worlds Best Toast, because I make really good toast."

[Ookla the Wisdom Shouter]

Boy do I have a story to tell you... 

I've always felt bad for people who have to work at malls. There's a shoe store at my local mall, and I've always thought that having a job at a shoe store would be boring enough if it wasn't the shoe store at the mall, but I'd imagine the job gets a whole lot worse when it is at a mall. So I thought it would be sweet if I did something to make their day more interesting, and the best way to do that is to give them someone to laugh at, someone to make fun of. And I am the perfect person to make fun of.  

So I walk into the shoe store, my head held high, with my two friends behind me. They quickly make themselves scarce in the corners of the store so their laughing won't tip off the employees. I'm the one chosen to carry out the plan, because frankly, I'm the only one who'll be able to do it with a straight face. So the first plan is simple, I walk over to the closest employee and ask him where the running shoes are. Now understand, this is not a store for running shoes. When you run, you need a very specific type of shoes if you don't want to injure yourself. As a runner I know this, but I had to play it completely dumb. So the employee takes me to some shoes that look like they'd be okay for running, though not great, and asks me if that was what I was looking for. I told him they looked great, then I glanced over at the employee suspiciously and I'm like: "You're not giving me the slower running shoes just so you can be faster then me... right?" 

The best part: he instantly starts laughing. But I am determined to play it straight, so I just look at him strangely, as if unsure why he finds it funny. If you had seen how quickly the smile drops from his face... Hahaha. He quickly escaped so he wouldn't have to deal with me. It was honestly awesome, but I thought to myself... we're not done here yet:  

I walk through the store for a minute, and find a small brown dress shoe. I bring it to the front, where two different employees are standing. I walk up to them, and hold up the shoe, and say "So I'm here doing research for my family, and we're looking for running shoes. Do you think this would be good for running?" One of the employees starts laughing. The other is a little smarter, so when she sees I'm serious she offers to show me where the running shoes are. She guides me to a different part of the store, and I tell her the I want a running shoe that looks a little bit nicer, I don't want to go around looking like a slob. She agrees, and says she understands. So she shows me some shoes that look a little nicer, but also have a bit more cushioning. She also tells me they have this discount this week, but I wave it away and say "Money is no issue," because this whole thing is 30 times better if she thinks I'm a rich kid. So then I asked her the same thing I asked the other employee: "Are you giving me the slower shoes just so you can be faster than me?" She takes the comment completely seriously, and says of course not. I'm like "good, cause I've had some problems with customer service today." She says she's sorry to hear that, and leaves me to take my pictures or whatever to do research. 

And then, finally, the moment she's out of sight it hits me how ridiculous that whole thing was, and I die laughing. But there's still one more thing that needs to be done. We wait maybe 30 minutes, and my friend goes back into the shoe store while I wait outside. He runs to the lady at the front desk with a panicked expression on his face, and he says "Hey, my brother's going to come in here looking for shoes later today. Please don't give him your fastest shoe, I need to be faster than him. This is all I have, I'm begging you." I wish I could have seen the expression on her face.

So anyway that's the stupid thing I did when I was younger, but I actually think it was quite kind. If you think this story is funny from my perspective, think about those employees, who can tell the story thinking I was completely serious. I think that's the greatest gift I could have given them.

[Ookla the Interstellar]

I was obsessed with hot air balloons.

Whenever I saw a big body of water, like a pond or a lake, I said, "Whoa. That's a big water bottle."

I apparently said the word "Chandelier" while I was only one years old, having only heard the word months earlier.

I think this was after my first Halloween. My mom had taken a little container of the Nerds candy and poured them on the table for me to eat. I was eating them one at a time. When I got to only four left, she heard me say, "Look, a square." Then I ate one, so there were three left. She might have been expecting a triangle next, but I said, "look, a heart." Then I ate one, so there were two left. And my mom had no idea what I was going to say. She listened very closely, and heard me say, "look, a mirror."

I think I blew her mind that day.

Edited May 29 by The Bookwyrm
Just realized I said "one years old" instead of "one year old." ....... I think I'll leave it.

[Scars of Hathsin]

On 25/05/2023 at 11:36 AM, Lightweaver2 said:

I used to hide under the sheets in my bed with a flashlight and read, then pretend to be asleep when my parents came in, then read more after they left.

I have done the same using many light sources, including my Fitbit, Clock, and any other light source I could get my hands on.

[TheOokla929]

12 hours ago, Scars of Hathsin said:

I have done the same using many light sources, including my Fitbit, Clock, and any other light source I could get my hands on.

I used a fan once. It had a light on the back to signal that it was on, and so I switched it on and read with bit blowing in my face

[Ookla the Yellow Sock]

Define k i d - 

I went sledding this last winter cause my butt wanted to chuck a few fat ice balls at my siblings while they went down so I did exactly that, but we all got on the sled together. (Three of us ranging within 5 years of age of each other so we all getting big) We all hardly fit on the sled (it was a big boi sled tho so we were good) and start going down our neighbors hill cause this lady didn’t give a crap. We go shooting down and you know what we were literally about to fly over? A man hole. A steel man hole. Know what my stupid butt did cause I was in the front? I put my foot down to try and stop the sled, ON THE MANHOLE. I went flying forward and registered nurse Christine or whatever her name is comes outside like “oh are you okay pumpkin pie sugar plum-“ checking on me with all those nicknames people call you when they’re worried or something. Well my brother calls my dad cause we were to far from the house to just walk home, and when he got there he helps me up and tells me to “Walk it off” and so he walks us home, while I’m telling him it really really hurts. When we get home I’m almost in tears and I go to take my snow boot off and my ankle has swelled reallllly fast. 
 

Long story I broke my first bone and had to get surgery. It was a really rare break involving some growth plates and a chunk of my bone pressing completely out of its original placement cause I broke it with hypertension. I now have a titanium screw in my left ankle (I am now a cyborg, YAY) and I had to live in a boot for a solid six weeks with crutches and my school elevator was broken the whole time so I had to climb several floor on foot every single day. Because I was nice and stupid and stuck my foot out on a manhole. *thumbs up* and my Dad now forever regrets telling me to just ‘Walk it off’

[Spren of Kindness]

Not sure if it counts as 'ridiculous', but I just found out yesterday that the way I would put 'The Battle' from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe soundtrack on loop for an hour was not a universal experience!  Most people do not loop songs for hours, I guess.

[OokIa the Believer]

Here is mine. We were at some sort of art meuseum, and one of the displays was in its own room. It was completely dark, but had invisible strings hanging down at different leghths with small colored lights at the bottom of the strings. All the walls and flooors and roofs were mirrors. It was honestly pretty cool. It was also a pretty big room. I was litttle and I didn’t notice my family leave the room. When I realized   That they weren’t by me, I looked around. Now to explain, the exit to the room was around a wall to not let light in. Getting worried I finally saw my mom facing me in the exit, I ran as fast as I could toward her, and ran straight into the wall— a mirror reflecting my mom.