What Happened in Portland

[Edgedancer]

As expected dinosaurs are very good at killing each other, which in turn made for a very amusing evening and using the soft lap of a beautiful young woman that was clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation as a pillow just made it even better. Just the way to spend the time after a day of work.

 

“Traveler! Doctor Funtimes! Nighthound!” The voice of Lightwards´ disrupted his little pastime.

 

The Epic gave a slight growl and jumped to his feet, also pulling Ray up to her feet by her collar. “Now dear, it seems you´ll get to meet our fine emperor.”

“Don´t worry, I´ll take every improvement in company I can get,” she replied.

 

Nighthound pinched her in the cheek and shoved her over to the door. He walked over to the door himself and exited the room, entering… a jungle. He looked back over his shoulder, marble floor, littered by dinosaur carcasses, everything as it´s supposed to be. Apparently Funtimes for once had the sense not to disturb him with her shenanigans. Sadly, that was the first nice thing he ever got to think about her.

 

It actually made for a rather decent surrounding, especially with the dinosaurs stalking through the thicket. A side glance showed that they were not the only prancing about. He could see Lightwards, trailed by two of his raptors.

 

Giving his darling a signal to wait, which she seemed to be rather happy with, he approached the necromancer from behind. Once he sneaked behind him, the dinosaurs didn´t alarm Lightwards although they did seemed rather unimpressed by Nighthound signaling them to stay quiet, he pushed against the back of Lightwards´ head.

 

“Guess who managed to get up here even after you abandoned him on the ground!" Nighthound accompanied his greetings with a wide smile. "Honestly, you should be happy that I´m such a… hard worker. In fact I even got us a new recruit, although I´m gonna keep her for myself. Say hello, Ray.” Nighthound signaled her to come over, she complied with an annoyed moan. 

[Kobold King]

 

Lightwards moved further along the dark jungle path, quietly stewing. He knew that his parting remark to the girls was lackluster, and that only infuriated him more.

 

Call me a leprechaun, he thought darkly. We'll see how long Funtimes' attention span can protect you, little girl. Because the moment she loses interest in you, I will slice you to bits and have you serving my tea.

 

His brooding was interrupted by a heavy tap to the back of his head. He swore and turned around, his hand on his pistol. Nighthound was standing there with an enormous smile stretched on his face.

 

"Nighthound," the professor growled. "Am I going to have to educate all of you? Don't sneak up on--"

 

The grinning Epic spoke over him. “Guess who managed to get up here even after you abandoned him on the ground!"

 

Lightwards sighed. "Well, I guess that would be--"

 

Once again, Nighthound ignored him to continue speaking. "Honestly, you should be happy that I´m such a… hard worker. In fact I even got us a new recruit, although I´m gonna keep her for myself. Say hello, Ray.”

 

A surly-looking woman with orange hair approached the two of them. There was murder in her eyes and a dog collar around her neck.

 

"I see you're determined to violate the civil rights of every woman in Oregon," Lightwards said, eyeing the collar distastefully. Though as long as she didn't call him a leprechaun, he decided he didn't care what Nighthound did with her.

 

"If I might draw your attention to another woman you've traumatized," he continued, fixing Nighthound with a stare. "I met with Altermind and several of his Thoughttown allies today. In particular, there was a girl named Voidgaze who seemed particularly unhappy about your name being mentioned. I told her you would write her a formal apology for whatever it is you did to her."

Edited August 30, 2014 by Kobold King

[Edgedancer]

Lightwards didn´t appear very happy to see Nighthound. I wonder why.

 

"I see you're determined to violate the civil rights of every woman in Oregon," Lightwards said.

“Only the once that fancy my interest but don´t let me interrupt you.” Nighthound replied with a shrug.

 

"If I might draw your attention to another woman you've traumatized," he continued, fixing Nighthound with a stare. "I met with Altermind and several of his Thoughttown allies today. In particular, there was a girl named Voidgaze who seemed particularly unhappy about your name being mentioned. I told her you would write her a formal apology for whatever it is you did to her."

 

Seems like he had a meeting with other Epics, including one I attacked yesterday and now he is trying to make an alliance, turning into a true politician already. Nighthound took a quick step behind Ray and covered her ears.

 

“Lightwards, please, bringing up old flings in front of her is not cool at all. What would you thing if I talked about something like that in front of… your bird? Do you even-” Before he could finish his sentence two energy lances ripped his hands away. Ray ducked away behind a dinosaur. “Hands off.”

 

“Isn´t she just adorable? Anyway, Voidgaze was it, a bit too cold for my taste. I smashed her head in, twice, and she ripped my arm out, you know the usual stuff. I don´t exactly see why I would need to apologize for that, no harm done after all.”

 

“She might want an apology, because she isn´t as rusting sick in the head as you are.” Ray said from behind the raptor.

Nighthound snapped his finger and pointed at her. “Right, I forgot that. Her fault not mine. Still not a reason to lie to the poor girl Lightwards.”

[Kobold King]

 

It was growing increasingly clear that Nighthound was the most despicable Epic Lightwards had ever met.

 

He bit his lip as Nighthound shied back in mock offense, covering his pet Epic's ears. "Lightwards, please, bringing up old flings in front of her is not cool at all. What would you thing if I talked about something like that in front of… your bird? Do you even--"

 

The young woman, Ray, suddenly blasted her tormentor with a pair of glowing energy lances, knocking him a few steps backward. She then leaped away herself and hid behind the bulky body of a dinosaur.

 

"Hands off," she snapped, her voice outraged and her face cautious.

 

Nighthound chuckled as if a puppy had just chewed on his shoe. “Isn´t she just adorable? Anyway, Voidgaze was it, a bit too cold for my taste. I smashed her head in, twice, and she ripped my arm out, you know the usual stuff. I don´t exactly see why I would need to apologize for that, no harm done after all.”

 

He'd smashed her head in... suddenly Voidgaze's cold fury made perfect sense to Lightwards. She must be a resurrection Epic, and he knew from firsthand experience the resentment a resurrecter could feel towards their previous assailants. He briefly imagined how he'd feel being sent a written apology from Möbius, and concluded that Voidgaze wouldn't feel comforted at all until she had personally destroyed her murderer.

 

He sighed as Nighthound and Ray continued to bicker back and forth. 

 

“Right, I forgot that," Nighthound was finishing. "Her fault not mine. Still not a reason to lie to the poor girl Lightwards.”

 

The professor only continued to stare at Nighthound, feeling frustrated. He told Voidgaze that Nighthound was under control. That had been a lie. For Calamity's sake, he had a better argument for being in control of Remington than he did claiming that Nighthound was subservient to the Empire.

 

Brutal times were ahead. If he was to defeat CorpseMaker and eventually Altermind, he needed his resources to be secured. So he took a step forward, ignoring the part of him that screamed in protest, and leaned in closer to Nighthound.

 

"Nighthound," he said softly, glaring at Ray. "I applaud your free spirit. But this affair with Voidgaze underscores an issue which may become more important in days to come."

 

Kicking himself for using the words "affair" and "Voidgaze," Lightwards continued in a harsher voice. "I will not go so far as to say the Empire of Light needs you for continued success. That would be obviously untrue. However, your loyalty is a commodity which I am willing to buy at an extravagant cost. What would you ask in return for being the loyal general of this Empire's armies?"

 

Funtimes was insane and self-absorbed. Traveler was her puppet. Phoenix and Protector were too unpredictable to be trusted.

 

But maybe, just maybe, Nighthound could be bought.

[Edgedancer]

As Nighthound ended his flirt with Ray, Lightwards leaned in on him, looking as if this took a lot of self-control for him. "Nighthound I applaud your free spirit. But this affair with Voidgaze underscores an issue which may become more important in days to come." There was a short break in his speak, as if even using the word affair was enough to embarrass him. It could be that it´s just the context but then it was almost too easy to get to him. One way or another he overreacted.

 

When he continued his speech, he put more force into his voice, likely in an poor attempt to cover up his hesitation just now. "I will not go so far as to say the Empire of Light needs you for continued success. That would be obviously untrue. However, your loyalty is a commodity which I am willing to buy at an extravagant cost. What would you ask in return for being the loyal general of this Empire's armies?" Oh, this is just gold.

 

Nighthound also leaned in closer to Lightwards, put his arm around his shoulder and gave him a sly smile. “Let me be honest with you. I don´t plan on stabbing you in the back,” at least not until this is over, he added in his mind, “and I can deal with not attacking other Epics, if you have some kind of deal with them. The dinosaurs really act as a motivator. However, you won´t get me to be any more charming then I already am. So, if you want me to `stay loyal´ the only real condition I would name other than that you have to endure my charms, which you are doing an admirable job of, is that next time you let someone up here you take caution that he isn´t some psycho that tries to kill his allies without provocation, like that bearded guy, and just to get this straight I´m not even talking about me not provoking him, I´m talking about our lovely Ray not provoking him.” Nighthound signaled towards her and was meet with an adorable scowl.

 

He didn´t bother with telling him to cut down on his own self-importance, some things are just futile.

[Kobold King]

 

"However, you won´t get me to be any more charming then I already am."

 

Well, sparks, Lightwards thought irritably. Nighthound continued his little speech, concluding with a hand gesture towards Ray which earned another deathglare.

 

But the ultimate point was clear. Nighthound was not a tame Epic, but for now at least he was on the Empire's side. And apparently the dinosaurs were a major motivation towards keeping it that way.

 

Lightwards slowly pushed Nighthound' arms off his shoulders and smiled. "Very well then. Nice to know that we're in this together. Good night." He tipped his hat to Nighthound and Ray in quick succession. "We will carry on tomorrow."

 

It took a few minutes of searching, but soon he found a small bunker-like structure situated in the middle of the jungle. It appeared to have been left behind when the rest of the museum was transformed--its walls were tiled, and the door had a post-it note that read "Quickslide's room" in sloppy handwriting.

 

They were in charge of this place for years and they never bothered with anything more classy than a post-it note? Lightwards shook his head and entered. Quickslide's room was a mess, with a cot and a shelf full of comic books crammed into a small space. Lightwards didn't bother to clean it up, though he did peel a pin-up girl poster off the wall and crumpled it into a ball.

 

He kicked off his shoes, left his coat hanging on the doorknob, and let himself drift to sleep.

 

The day had been far from perfect. But for the first time since Calamity appeared in the sky, Lightwards felt a sense of empowerment.

 

It won't be long now. Portland is at my fingertips.

 

 

 

Sam found herself still laughing as Lightwards stormed away from the clearing. She almost expected to see a literal storm cloud hovering above his head as he grumpily marched into the jungle.

 

She was still watching him with amusement when she felt arms wrap around her. Before she could protest, Doctor Funtimes had her in an embrace and was holding her close.

 

"I like you, Samantha."

 

Revolution was next, and Remington seemed to have already gotten his hug. The Unicyclist appeared with a very heavy duty tire on his cycle, and he was given a hug as well.

 

Quickly Funtimes skipped about the clearing, looking increasingly excited.  "Let's go home let's go home! You all get to see where we live and it's going to be so amazing!"

 

Hands were linked--Sam found herself holding onto Remington and Revolution, the latter of whom gave her a smooth smile.

 

For the second time in the day, Sam blinked and found herself in a strange place.

 

Correction: the strangest place she'd ever been to. The Museum of Natural Awesomeness had been a strange destination, but its halls of living dinosaurs seemed tame in relation to this. Every wall was painted in a different garish color, and the furniture looked less like a living room and more like a psychedelic petting zoo.

 

Funtimes was still excitedly blabbering as she bounced across the room, explaining sleeping arrangements. Ultimately she bounced over to Revolution and beamed into the hippie's face, still jumping up and down. "You're here! You're all so here and it's amazing!"

 

Even knowing that Funtimes was an Epic, and therefore a homicidal slontze, Sam couldn't help but crack a small and very un-gothlike smile at the woman's enthusiasm.

 

 "We'd best get some sleep, dear," Traveler said, his hands in his pockets. He still looked amused at Revolution's leprechaun quip. "Who knows what we've got tomorrow." 

 

He too was a strange one. Sam knew from firsthand experience that a new Epic ought to be one of the most sadistic maniacs on the planet, but his man seemed... just like a normal guy. She told herself not to let her guard down, but it was hard when she was surrounded by warm smiles.

 

This experience might not be as hellish as she'd anticipated.

 

 

The house was dark and quiet. The beds were beautifully colored even in this dim lighting, and the cloth was some of the softest Revolution had ever felt.

 

She slept by the window, while Samantha had chosen the slightly smaller though still luxurious bed on the far side of the room. Revolution listened for a moment as her roommate's breathing grew softer, signaling she'd drifted to sleep.

 

What she was about to do was an unnecessary risk, but Revolution decided to do it anyway. She knelt in bed and looked out the window, where a red star sat conspicuously in the center of the sky.

 

Calamity.

 

Revolution took a deep breath and began.

 

"A rose below its warm red light, 

A beacon for souls lost to the night.

Empires of man may smolder to ash,

But the care of Roses alone shall last."

 

It was a child's rhyme, but it sufficed. She'd recited it every night for years, and she wasn't about to stop now. It wasn't precisely a prayer, but it was a reminder. A reminder of what she'd been taught since she was still in her teens.

 

A reminder that whatever happened in Oregon, hope would last in the world.

 

With that, Revolution settled her head to her exceptionally soft pillow and allowed herself to sleep.

[Voidus]

SoulSwitch awoke to a leaden feeling in his eyelids and the sensation that his mouth was entirely full of cotton as the sunlight of the dawn streamed through his bedroom window, he stretched as he rose and gazed admiringly at his newest acquisition. In a cage next to his bed that it had made its home sat a raccoon, still sleeping now after his foray into enemy territory with it the night before, it had actually approached him last night and curiously for one of its kind seemed to be quite fond of him, though it had shied away from Refill when he'd tried to introduce him last night. He hadn't decided on a name yet but he was quite sure that he was going to keep it, his use of it last night had been enormously beneficial, it's senses of sound and smell were vastly better than his own, it seemed even better than the rats SoulSwitch usually used for scouting and its dexterous front paws were vastly more useful.
Jumping into the animal he directed it out of its cage and into the adjoining room where Refill still lay, scrambling up the bed he bit the Epics ear briefly to wake him up.
"OW! What the!?" The startled Epic said blearily, still blinking sleep from his eyes.
"Come on, time to get up and go." SoulSwitch said through the raccoon with some difficulty, the mouth didn't quite work the same way humans did, luckily his training with accents came in useful as he quickly deduced the required muscles to approximate human speech, something he'd never managed with any other animals.
"We've got an evil shadowy ruler to meet, people to kill, Epics to find and an empire to found." He continued, ignoring Refills cries of protestation.
"I'll meet you at the base, don't be too long." SoulSwitch said as he darted out of the nearby window, and scaled down the two story house to the street. He hurried back to where Zip and Penumbra had stayed.


Penumbra waited impatiently outside of the base for Refill and SoulSwitch to arrive, it had been a mixed morning, he'd awoken to a cacophany of voices in his head, all battling for control of the body before he'd asserted his dominance as the strongest of the three and assumed control, but he was happy to find a list of suggestions for the two newest additions to his team left by Protector the previous night, he'd been pretty certain that Protector wouldn't help.
He'd looked through the list and devoted the ideas to memory, his mind already thinking of even more ways to expand on the suggestions.
Refill would work best with a flamethrower or some other kind of liquid based offensive, he decided to outfit the Epic with various bottles of liquids that could be useful, all hooked up to a propellant system designed to make use of Zips abilities, which Protector had realized could create differences in pressure, as only small amounts of liquid could enter the bubbles that Zip created but normal quantities could leave it.
He resisted striking the Epics as they finally arrived, though only just, he should not be kept waiting by the likes of these. He outlined his plans to them, SoulSwitch would continue his recon, finding new Epics, and spying on Corpsemaker and Altermind, two of the more powerful Epics in Portland. While Penumbra would take Zip and Refill to be outfitted with some of the suggested gear and then go on their own recruiting missions. They'd all keep an eye out for suitable bases but if necessary they could stay where they were and draft some vanillas to construct a more grandiose residence.
SoulSwitch scampered off in his new raccoon body, -Penumbra had been quite surprised when he'd heard the Epic talk through it, though he'd concealed it- and Penumbra turned to the others.
"No screw ups, you do what I say or I sever your heads, you act appropriate to your station, no catering or mercy for those who are below you, are we clear?" He asked, not really expecting an answer he strode off, shadows swirling around him.
It was going to be an interesting day, the dawn of a new era for Portland.
 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Nathan still hadn’t gotten used to the sunrise.

He lay where he was as it came up, watching it stain the sky with pink and orange, holding the curtains forward over his face so he could get a decent view. Funtimes was still hugging him and he didn’t want to wake her. He would rather enjoy the sight on his own.

With the sun came concerns. He worked for an Emperor now, although that wasn’t the best description. Any alliance that could be dissolved with the Emperor’s shirt was less of an employment arrangement and more of a contract lasting until Funtimes grew bored. Still, as long as the alliance lasted, Nathan would have to live and work with two men who would end his life in an instant if they learned the truth. He had pondered this fact until he fell asleep, and each round of pondering led him to the same conclusion.

He watched the sun through the sliver the window afforded, steeling his resolve. If Lightwards shot at him, he needed to shoot back. If Nighthound came after him, he needed a way to slow him down.

He needed Remington Springfield.

Traveler was late to breakfast, but Remington was right on time.

No one seemed to have suffered any bodily harm in the night, which was more than Remington expected from an Epic with four helpless humans in her house. If anything, Samantha and the hippie looked well-rested, and the Unicyclist….well, it was hard to tell through that mask, but he seemed to have a spring in his step.

He hadn't taken that thing off. He must have taken it off when he slept, but Remington hadn't seen it happen. He had been wearing it when Remington fell asleep, and he had been wearing it when Remington woke with the sun. How would he even eat with that thing on?

Funtimes didn’t cook breakfast so much as make it appear. She brought plates and bowls in from the kitchen, all decorated with polka dots and stripes and filled with food. Remington wasn’t sure where all of those boxes of cereal and stacks of waffles and pancakes had come from, but he knew he’d have to eat at least some of what was offered. The Doctor seemed slightly more decent than that fool of an Emperor, and next to Nighthound she was practically Mother Theresa. It seemed unlikely that her waffles and pancakes would explode on impact with his stomach.

Remington was still considering the implications of such a death when she set another plate on the table. It was red, it was striped, and it was filled with bacon.

To Calamity with exploding food. The bacon would be worth it.

Remington had just reached for a piece when Funtimes put a hand to her mouth, eyes wide, and waved her free hand at the bacon. It vanished, replaced by another stack of waffles.

A moment’s thought revealed her reasoning. Remington sighed. He had to get the one Epic who cared about some stupid remark. “Look, Doc, we know you ain’t a cannibal.”

She paused. The chocolate cereal stopped flowing into her bowl as she tilted her head curiously, her eyes as hopeful as an Epic’s could be. Sam and that hippie stared at him as well.

“If you were, you’d have shown off when you had an audience.” He let that sink in, then revealed his motive: “Can I get the bacon back now?”

Funtimes grinned, and the bacon reappeared. Remington took a handful and reached for a waffle as Funtimes poured strawberry milk onto her cereal, topping it off with a drizzle of maple syrup.

“Besides,” he added after a moment of mute horror, “people don’t have near enough sugar in ‘em.” At least he knew where all that energy of hers came from.

She giggled. The Unicyclist grabbed a pancake and lifted the vent on his mask. So that's how he does it.

That was when Traveler walked in. He wore his usual suit and tie, though his duster seemed to have remained in the closet. He smiled pleasantly at the five of them, then put his hands in his pockets and looked pointedly at Remington. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

Remington cocked an eyebrow. Epics didn’t ask favors; they demanded them. “So ask it.”

“In private, please.” He tilted his head toward the kitchen.

He took a bite of bacon. Either what Traveler wanted was truly heinous, or he really was an oddball. “We’re all friends here.”

Traveler stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets and drew a breath. “We’re not friends. We’re—“ He paused, as though thinking of the right word. “Associates.”

Remington barked a laugh. “Associates? That’s what you call us?”

“You’d prefer I called you something else?”

“Call us what we are.”

Traveler looked as though he wanted to say more, but he pressed his lips together. Out the corner of his eye Remington could see Funtimes’ head turning from him to Traveler as though watching a tennis match, her grin dimmed somewhat but still in place. “If you’ll step into the kitchen, I’ll ask the favor and you can go on your way.”

“Ask it here.”

The teleporter took a breath. His cheeks flamed a bit. “I want you to teach me to shoot.”

The request silenced everything Remington could have said. He stared, openmouthed, trying to make sense of it “You—an Epic who can’t shoot? And you're saying so?” He laughed, long and loud.

Traveler’s cheeks became nearly as red as his hair. “Kitchen. Now.”

Remington stood and gave his most mocking salute, and went to the kitchen chuckling.

Traveler closed the door and spoke in a ferocious whisper. “I asked you nicely.”

“And what’re you gonna do if I say no? Shoot me?”

“I said I’m new at this, and as I recall you were in earshot at the time, so you must have—“

“New? Calamity, no.” Remington narrowed his eyes, taking a menacing step toward the teleporter. “You ain’t new at this.”

Traveler swayed back from Remington’s shaking finger, but he didn’t give ground. Remington lowered his voice to a whisper. “I don’t think you’re even an Epic. I think you’re just some guy who found a suit and said, ‘What the heck, I’ll see how long I can fool ‘em,’ and you….”

And then it clicked. Remington couldn’t explain how or why all the pieces chose that moment to fly together and settle into an image, but they did.

Traveler wasn’t an Epic. He couldn’t even shoot. He was just a guy in a suit. Who couldn't shoot.

And he had fooled Lightwards. Nighthound. They thought him an Epic and he let them think it.

The Emperor had believed him. Lightwards had declared himself Emperor of Light, thinking all along he had four Epics on his side when one was just pretending.

A human. A regular guy, and he had fooled them all.

Remington’s laugh threw him against the refrigerator. He covered his mouth to keep it from spilling over into the next room.

Nathan had experience with many strange things, but an Oregon redneck discovering his secret through threats was not one of them. At that moment, one thought and one thought only was very clear in his mind. That thought was Um.

Another followed: What the sparks do I do now?

He at least had the presence of mind to keep his voice to a whisper. “Are you okay?”

Remington nodded, arm thrown over his mouth, shaking with silent laughter. “You gotta hit me.”

“What? I’m not going to hit you.”

He paused to let another laugh subside. “You’re the Epic here. Put me in line.”

“You just said—“

Before Nathan could finish his sentence, Remington peeled himself off the fridge, grabbed the freezer door handle, and slammed the door into his forehead.

Nathan stumbled back a step. “What on earth are you even doing?”

Remington covered another laugh, then said, louder: “That all you got?”

Seeing a man burst into laughter, then slam his own head into a refrigerator was surprising enough to drive most men to silence, but that remark—and the urgent, expectant look Remington coupled with it—told Nathan that was his cue. He glanced around, saw a plate, and threw it at the wall.

“You think that’s—“ he covered a laugh—“the worst I’ve seen? Had one guy—“

Remington was covering for him. He had discovered his secret and was covering for him, in a way the hunter found less painful than hilarious.

Nathan didn’t have time to decide whether he liked it or not. Not knowing what else to do, he threw another plate, ensuring it missed by a wide margin.

Edited August 31, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Edgedancer]

Lucentia preferred to travel by the coast, even if that means her trip would take a bit longer. I´m still not sure, if I want to arrive there sooner or later but I´ll have to settle things with him.

 

The mass of diamonds bellow her contiously raised up and pushed forward, moving the throne she made herself at quite an impressive speed.

 

Still she would have to make a stop somewhere before she arrived in Portland. If she remembered the map right the next appropriate stop on her way would be Tillamook.

 

Shortly after the sun began to rise, she came close to a cottage, if one was willing to oversee the violation of every kind of exterior design that twisted the house in a mesh of colors. Other Epics first bother in the morning, as it seems.

 

She moved her throne in front of the entry and had her construct crumble to dust. She set her diamond embroiled dress straight and casually moved into the cottage.

 

The interior design was just as atrocious, as the exterior, if not even worse. A child throwing around paint would most likely arrive at the same result, if not even do a better job.

 

Moving further into the house reveled a group of three women and a something wearing a mask and between all of them they apparently shared a shockingly small amount of sense. From the kitchen the sound of shattering plates could be heard.

 

The Epic guilty of the sin against esthetics, at least judging from her clothes, appeared to be busy trying to please everyone with different kinds of food she made appear from other thhings on the table. What kind of Slontzes let their gofer decide on the interior design?

 

Suddenly, just going without food for a bit longer became a lot more attractive.

 

Lucentia called the attention of the group to her with a cough, “None of you happened to have been in Portland lately, did you?” I have a bad feeling about this already.

Edited August 31, 2014 by Edgedancer

[Kobold King]

 

"The sun rises over Portland, Oregon. The gentle grey cityscape is lit up by the glow, revealing a world red in tooth and claw. Competing warlords across the city rise from their beds, prepared for a long day of conflict and bloodshed. The rules that hold civilization together have dissolved. The only law now governing Portland is the law of the jungle."

 

Cricket raised an eyebrow at the magician who walked alongside her. "Do you have to narrate everything you see or think of? You sound like the world's most melodramatic news host. You're like Aldo the Melodramatic."

 

Aldo took her barbs in stride, as usual. "In the midst of this lawless town, the last remaining stage magician travels with his lovely yet unbearably sarcastic assistant--hey, no kicking!"

 

The magician just barely a dodged a fast-flying foot, leaping and swirling in a way that showed his weird precognition thing must have taken effect.

 

"I won't kick if you won't narrate," said Cricket.

 

"Deal," grumbled Aldo, eyeing her legs cautiously.

 

Cricket smiled.

 

Before long they were standing at the front of a colossal square of torn up pavement, a stretch which looked as if someone had pulled up a building by the roots and left only a torn mess behind. This was apparently exactly what had happened, as high among the clouds a rustic museum could be seen floating with a gentle bob.

 

 

Cricket eyed the floating building appraisingly. "I could probably jump up there, if you showed me where to start the leap from. I don't know how we'd get you up there, though."

 

They'd long ago established that carrying the tall magician on her leaps was not an option.

 

Aldo smiled and began pulling a long series of handkerchiefs out of his sleeve. "I'll magnify this magnificently long series of handkerchiefs and have you tie one end to something secure in the Museum. Then I can just climb up, and we'll find whoever's in charge."

 

"Are you kidding? There's no way that thing will hold for however long it takes you to climb up," Cricket said skeptically.

 

"It's a blend of spider silk and Space Age polymers," Aldo said mysteriously. "I could haul a dinosaur with these hankies. Which is good, because I might have to."

 

Aldo walked to a stretch of pavement that ended in an upturned chunk of concrete. "Now, my dear, by my best calculations a running leap here ending in a double jump here should take you straight to the Museum. And don't worry, I'll be running around down here with a trampoline if you miss."

 

"I don't miss," Cricket said sharpy. She took one end of the handkerchiefs in her hand, took a deep breath, and jumped where Aldo had indicated.

 

It felt wonderful leaping through the air. She left a deep crater in the pavement below her, and what seemed to be a small shockwave caused Aldo to barrel over onto his back. The moron never did learn to step away before she jumped.

 

Air whooshed past on either side of her, and the floating museum grew larger and larger in her view. Eventually she got close enough to aim her body towards it, angling her jump to land her on the edge of the building.

 

She landed with a crash, sending bits of shattered concrete flying in all directions. She was of course completely unharmed by the landing; her Calamity-blessed legs absorbed all the shock. She would need new sneakers soon, though. She made a mental note to nag Aldo about it later.

 

There was a sturdy-looking bronze dinosaur skeleton at the entrance, staring out over the edge and its massive drop. Cricket tied the end of the magnified handkerchief trail to one of its legs. She saw the hankies grow taut, and assumed that Aldo must have started climbing. Since his climb would likely take him a few minutes, Cricket decided to take a look around without him.

 

She entered through the glass doors, and was surprised to find herself at the edge of a steaming tropical rainforest. The trees were thick and tangled, and the fanned ferns and cycads cast a primordial light to the strange place.

 

They really know how to stick with a theme, Cricket thought, giving a low whistle in spite of herself. The moment the sound escaped her lips, a low growl emanated from the foliage nearby. She was uncomfortably reminded of all the terrified vanillas who raved about dinosaurs rampaging through the streets and ripping people to shreds.

 

She took a step back, and bumped into another body.

 

"Aaugh--Aldo!"

 

The magician laughed. "Thought I was the world's most dashing dinosaur, did you? I can hardly blame you. I have long been noted to have an air of primal attractiveness--hey, we agreed no kicking!"

 

Aldo avoided being kicked off the building, and after a moment of glaring the couple headed deeper into the rainforest.

 

"We'll lounge around in this tourist getaway for a while, and then surprise the Emperor and his gang," Aldo said cheerfully.

 

"Sounds like a plan," Cricket replied, still glaring. "Are we going to do the routine?"

 

"The routine? I suppose we might. Depends on whether we have a fun-loving audience or not."

 

"Makes sense. The pair traveled on, and passed a dead elephant lying in the bushes. It looked as if something had been feeding on the carcass, and clawed, three-toed footprints crisscrossed the area. Cricket shuddered at the size of them.

 

"Something on your mind, Cricket?" Aldo asked amiably.

 

"Nothing," she responded. "Just--don't do the alphabet trick. It just ticks people off, and I really don't think we should be ticking these people off."

 

"What do you take me for, some kind of pompous idiot?" Aldo laughed. "Don't worry, I'll be at my best behavior."

 

They walked a moment more before Aldo gave her a sly wink. "Unless I want to tick someone off, of course."

 

 

 

Revolution, surprisingly enough, had gotten a good night's sleep. A part of her expected that the furniture might come to life and try to eat her in the middle of the night. It seemed like the sort of whimsical violence Funtimes might engage in. But instead, their pleasant evening had passed into an uneventful night's sleep.

 

She and Sam--who by the look of things wasn't a morning person--headed into the kitchen, where Funtimes was magically causing breakfast to appear on the most colorful dishes Revolution had ever seen. She took a seat between Sam and the Unicyclist and reached for a box of cereal.

 

Actually... Revolution cast a long look at the platters of bacon sitting beside Remington. She was a vegetarian, but Funtimes didn't actually kill anything to produce the food. She'd never actually tasted bacon, and now seemed like a great time to test it out without breaking her lifelong vegetarianism.

 

Her fingers had almost touched a piece when Funtimes let out a low gasp and turned all the meat on the table into stacks of waffles.

 

Well, fate's had its say, Revolution thought with an internal sigh. Remington Springfield sighed outwardly, and actually addressed his Epic hostess.

 

“Look, Doc, we know you ain’t a cannibal," he said. Revolution and Sam stared at him, as did everyone else. Remington up till now had been the most paranoid of them all.

 

 “If you were, you’d have shown off when you had an audience," the hunter continued, pausing for a moment. "Can I get the bacon back now?”

 

Funtimes grinned and the bacon all reappeared. The table resumed activity, with Funtimes procuring herself the most sugary meal Revolution had ever seen.

 

"Besides," Remington added thoughtfully. "people don’t have near enough sugar in ‘em.”

 

As Sam pulled a plate of cinnamon rolls closer to herself, Revolution decide to launch another attempt at the bacon. Before her hand could reach the platter, however, Traveler walked into the dining room and put his hands in his pockets, staring at Remington.

 

 “I have a favor to ask of you," the Epic said awkwardly.

 

The table stared at Traveler, figuratively speaking. Remington, recovering from the initial surprise, fell back to his regularly stubborn stance. The two argued back and forth for a minute, Remington refusing to accompany Traveler to the kitchen. Finally, Funtimes' boyfriend seemed to give up.

 

“I want you to teach me to shoot," Traveler said weakly.

 

The room was silent for a moment, Traveler's face turning as red as Lightwards the Leprechaun. Finally, Remington stood up with a chuckle and followed the Epic into the kitchen.

 

"An Epic who can't shoot?" Sam asked quizically. "That's a new one."

 

Revolution nodded, puzzled. Even most regular humans in Oregon could shoot--not only were there hordes of minor Epics crawling all over the place, but there were vanilla criminals who would rob and murder you if you seemed weak. Revolution herself couldn't shoot, but she'd taken it for granted that everyone else at the table could.

 

After a few moments, the sounds of breaking kitchenware emanated from the other room, followed by pounding sounds and Remington's voice yelling “That all you got?”

 

"It sounds like the plates are much less effective than a gun would be," Sam observed, cracking a weak smile. The smile wasn't wide. She and Revolution shared a look--Funtimes and Traveler, while strange, were still Epics. Still potentially dangerous.

 

There was nothing they could do about it, though. Their best chance was to simply enjoy the ride and hope for the best. With that thought, Revolution reached for the bacon, deciding to give the forces of fate one last chance to stop her.

 

“None of you happened to have been in Portland lately, did you?"

 

Revolution looked up in shock. Standing in the doorway was a tall and majestic woman. She was lean yet well-muscled, flowing dark hair behind her shoulders. She was dressed in a fine gown embroidered with enormous diamonds. One of her arms was constructed of pure crystal, the wound that according to legend had been caused by her brother in an epic duel.

 

Lucentia, the Diamond Queen of Astoria, was standing in the dining room entry way.

 

​Revolution slowly put the piece of bacon back on her plate. Okay forces of fate, she thought, still eyeing the legendary Epic. You win this time.

[Edgedancer]

The first thing that greeted Ray in the morning was the pain of the dinosaur stomp greeting her again, the second one was a slight headache, she attempted to outlast Nighthound and kill him in his sleep but the Slontze just kept smiling at her.

 

“Did I ever tell you that I don´t sleep?” She jumped at the sound of Nighthound´s voice. He sat only short distance away from her bed, watching her with a satisfied smiled. He replaced the shirt that Funtimes transformed with something that very much looked like he made it from the leaves of some of the tropic trees that now decorated the entire museum, sadly it actually looked well made.

 

Ray could feel the shivers climb up her body. “Don´t ever watch me sleep.” She growled at him.

 

He tilted his head, with an amused look, “Tell me, what else am I supposed to do with you, while I watch you sleep.” Ignoring the implications of his question she stabbed him through the eye socket.

 

The Slontze simply stood up and walked towards the door. “Now, given that both of us are awake now, how about we find someone else to annoy?”

 

Disgruntled, she followed him, the less of his attention was on her the better. As soon as they exited the room they entered the jungle that Funtimes created. It truly was impressive, even if she could do without the humid air, it still made Funtimes way more likable than Nighthound ever could be. Yet again, that wasn´t a hard feat.

 

After a short march they walked into another pair, one man dressed like a stereotypical stage magician and the other a rather plain dressed woman.

 

Nighthound used the chance to step forward and address the two. “Truly magnificent, pre-breakfast burglars, my favorite kind, I especially like the way the bones crunch. What do you think Ray?”

“They appear more likable than you are.”

He reacted by whacking his finger at her, “Please, my dear, no reason to insult these two, we at least have to mock them fairly.” 

[Kobold King]

 

Aldo the Enigmatic took in the jungle scenery, stopping to sniff an occasional patch of orchids or examining the rises and inclines of the landscape. His mind was in overdrive, taking in small details and deciphering everything he could about this place.

 

He'd always been a sharp man. You simply couldn't become a stage magician without some degree of observational skills, and Calamity had inflated his considerable talent by far. He looked at inclines in the landscape and figured out precisely where stairs and exhibits used to be; he looked at logs where once there would have been railings. Though the jungle looked wild, its structure still carried the characteristic order of a man-made facility. Looking past the moss and natural flare, it was obvious that this was the work of a skilled matter manipulator. Aldo clapped his hands together, anxious to meet the showman responsible.

 

From further ahead on the path, another pair of people appeared. There was a tall man in his thirties, his black hair pulled into a long ponytail that flowed along his back. He wore a black coat over a green shirt that was apparently sewn from jungle leaves. He carried himself with pride and delight, not showing any of the caution Epics usually showed when meeting with others of their kind.

 

The other person was a young woman with short red hair, wearing a T-shirt, blue jeans... and a dog collar. Noticing this as well, Cricket turned to Aldo and mouthed "Don't get any ideas."

 

Aldo chuckled and gave her a little wink.

 

The jungle man took a step forward, greeting the magician and his assistant with a wide smile that showed every tooth the man had. “Truly magnificent," the Epic drawled. "Pre-breakfast burglars, my favorite kind, I especially like the way the bones crunch. What do you think Ray?”

 

The woman in the dog collar sniffed. “They appear more likable than you are.”

 

The man wagged his finger reproachfully. "Please, my dear, no reason to insult these two, we at least have to mock them fairly.” 

 

Aldo took a step forward of his own and tipped his top hat, casting the couple a charming smile. Already facts and deductions were swimming through his head.

 

The woman is clearly an Epic, even if she doesn't look the part at first. The way she holds her hands gives it away--she should be swinging them casually or putting them in her pockets, but instead she holds them slightly in front of her as if they were weapons. Most likely an energy Epic, or some other individual capable of launching projectiles through the hands.

 

"Greetings, lady and gentleman," Aldo said grandly, taking a deep bow. "Burglars we be, but as Miss Ray has deduced, we are very likable burglars. We came to see the man in charge, if there is one."

 

A voice came from behind a tree. "That would be me."

 

 

 

 

Lightwards woke up in a cold sweat.

 

Eleven bullets.

 

A brutish man laughing, deriding his meager abilities.

 

Shakily he rose from the cot and got himself dressed. Sleeping in his killer's old room was perhaps not his finest idea. He had enough nightmares as it was. He left the small enclosed space and stepped into the Museum.

 

It was the first time he'd seen the jungle in daylight--whatever his opinions on Funtimes might be, he had to admit that she had done a magnificent job. The air was moist, the trees were sturdy, and the ground was solid enough to walk upon but soft like fine soil. He walked past a pair of raptors, still standing with the twins mounted on their backs.

 

"I meant to send you to sleep last night," Lightwards told them irritably. The Warriors didn't respond, instead merely gazing at him with their vacant eyes. "No matter. I have other Warriors. Go to sleep."

 

The Warrior's eyes closed in unison, their breathing becoming regular at once. Lightwards smiled and walked past them.

 

After a few minutes strolling through the forest, he heard the distant sound of one of Ray's energy lances being produced. Obviously Nighthound had decided to get an early start on his schedule--his schedule, apparently, consisting entirely of tormenting anyone he had in his power.

 

What a waste of time, Lightwards thought with disdain. If you don't like someone, kill them and move on. No point in tormenting them for such a while.

 

Clearly it was time for him to start his day of killing those he disliked. He'd need to immediately begin preparations for an assault on CorpseMaker.

 

He walked towards the front of the Museum, hearing Nighthound's voice through the hot air. Surprisingly, an unfamiliar male voice responded to him. Lightwards speeded up his pace and came to the edge of their clearing.

 

Nighthound and Ray were speaking to another pair of Epics in the jungle. One of them was wearing a simple cyan shirt and shorts, while the other was dressed with all the flare of a Vegas stage magician.

 

In fact, that appeared to be just the look the man was aiming to inspire. As Lightwards drew nearer, he heard the man's finishing remark.

 

"We came to see the man in charge, if there is one," the man said affably.

 

"That would be me," Lightwards said cautiously, stepping out from behind the tree. He saw the magician's eyes glance over him. He had a twinkling eyes that seemed to thoroughly scan whatever he was looking at.

 

"I am Lightwards," the necromancer proclaimed, meeting the magician's stare. "I am the Emperor of this Museum and all that lies below it. I see you have already met my associates Nighthound and Ray."

 

"It's an honor," replied the magician, bowing low with a wide smile. "Allow me to introduce myself and my assistant to you and yours. I am Aldo the Enigmatic, the mystifying matter manipulator. This charming young lady is called Cricket after her cracking skills."

 

The woman named Cricket gave a wide smile that looked forced. A bright green grasshopper tattoo was visible on her leg; she was wearing short shorts that Lightwards would never have approved of in his old class.

 

"Pleased to be of your acquaintance," Lightwards said, making himself smile in turn. Where did you come from? he wanted to demand. How did you get up here? Did Altermind send you?

 

"What is your reason for visiting?" Lightwards asked instead.

 

"Why, you're the reason for our visit," Aldo answered, beaming ear to ear in what was probably meant as a charming smile. "We have been lowly spectators to the magnificent act your Empire has been putting on. We saw you raise a building to the sky and just knew we had to become part of the act."

 

Lightwards stared for a moment before it clicked. "You're here to join the Empire?"

 

"Bingo," replied Cricket.

 

"Absolutely!" Aldo exclaimed. "Your work thus far has been spiffy, but we think you could use our special touch."

 

"We would be honored to have you with us," Lightwards said, relieved. "We're looking for all the recruits we can get."

 

Someone had actually joined the Empire without being forced into a dog collar first. Though the day ahead was likely to be long and tireless, Lightwards allowed himself an earnest smile.

[Voidus]

 

SoulSwitch scampered from building to building, while it was larger than most animals he used and so more conspicuous, the raccoon was also a lot faster, he'd decided that the pros vastly outweighed the cons. He thought back to the two Epics he'd seen entering the flying museum, one who had the biggest jump that SoulSwitch had ever seen, it was obviously not a flying Epic but he'd never seen a strength Epic with that much strength, and another who'd expanded the size of a makeshift rope, another spatial distortion Epic perhaps? He'd made a note to tell Penumbra when he returned but the museum was not a priority. Today he was spying on Corpsemaker.
He just hoped he survived the experience.
 

Penumbra finished off the last of the guards with his favorite trick, he watched as the mans own shadow slowly denied him all oxygen until the man slummped to the ground, dead. When they'd realized he was an Epic the guards had tried to run, but not fast enough, Penumbra didn't leave witnesses alive to tell other Epics what he'd been up to.

He strode around the lab, ,Refill and Zip in tow, finding various bottles of liquid and handing them back to Refill, who'd already acquired a makeshift flamethrower, shrunk by Zip so as to be almost completely invisible, it now seemed as if the Epic simply shot flames from his hands, which suited Penumbra well, if your enemy didn't know your true power then they couldn't plan for it.

"Well now that you're all properly outfitted, let's go find some fun shall we?" said Penumbra to the two.
They'd slowly been gaining confidence all morning, the continual use of their abilities seemed to have reminded both of them of their rightful places above all the pathetic mortals surrounding them. Good.

As they left the lab Penumbra had to skewer three more rats and clear them from the path, whoever was in charge of the cleanliness at this lab needed to be killed, the place was absolutely infested with those vermin.

Edited September 1, 2014 by Voidus

[Mailliw73]

Electro was excited to begin his mission. Recruiting, and occasionally killing, other Epics sounded like fun. Especially with Starscream at his side. He decided to start in the northeast part of their new territory. The Deathbringers, as he had decided to call his group of Epics, would soon be expanding their rule and power. The name came from one of his favorite punk bands back in Pre-Calamity days. He had tried to think up names for his alliance. So far Deathbringers had been his favorite. He wasn't sure how good it sounded though. It fit, albeit a bit dramatic. Killers had been one option, Land of Death another. As he walked, Electro mulled over some other names.

Arriving in the area he wanted to be, he had Starscream pick him up and place him on his shoulder. Telling the robot what to say, Starscream's deep robotic voice bellowed out, "Citizens and Epics. I am Electro. Corpsemaker has claimed this land as his own. Other Epics have an option: join our cause or be killed." Flashpoint had his robot put him back on the ground. People were coming into the street now. When they saw him, backed by ten soldiers and a huge robot, their eyes widened in fear.

"You," Flashpoint said, pointing to a young boy just entering his teens. "Come here." The boy looked around and then, resigned to his fate, approached Electro with his head down. Electro used his electricity to cut through the door on the nearest house as he asked the boy, putting one arm around him, "Who is the most powerful Epic around here?" The electricity cut closer and closer to the woman the boy had been standing by. His mother, most likely. The boy began to stutter and tremble as he saw his mother inches from death.

"F-F-Freeze. Freeze can shoot ice. She lives around the corner," the boy said. "Please don't kill my mom." Tears began washing down his face, his voice quivering. Electro smiled.

"Thank you, kid. I don't think I'll kill your mother," Electro replied. His finger with electricity coming from it jerked to the side, severing the woman's head from her neck. "Oops, I guess I slipped," said Electro with a sly grin. He shoved the weeping kid to the ground and walked towards the corner the boy had pointed out. Muttering to one of his soldiers, he ordered it to shoot the boy. Weakness wouldn't be allowed. The soldier turned and sent twin bullets towards the teen's head and chest. A sharp cry rang out and one last sob came from the boy's mouth before the tears stopped flowing and his heart stopped beating.

Electro rounded the corner, the other humans too afraid to do anything. Just to make sure, he told a few of his guards to watch out for anyone attempting to attack him. The others were assigned to shoot randomly every once in a while. One old man had the guts to stand up and look Electro in the eye. As he began to speak, a soldier aimed at him. Electro held his hand up, signaling the soldier to wait. The man bored his steely eyes into Electro's own. "I fought against tyrants in Asia as a youth. I won't let you do as they did. I fought for freedom there and I'll fight for freedom here. He pulled out his pistol and shot at Electro. Electro set his electric field to repulsing mode. The bullet strayed to the left of his body.

Electro nodded at the man with a bit of respect. "As you can see, you don't have a choice but to let me." He told his men to shoot. All ten soldiers let bullets fly into the man. He stumbled backwards from the force of the bullets. His body thumped to the ground and Electro continued walking.

Max was angry. The day before, in the store, the blond man had killed Mel. Max had managed to hide behind a shelf and the Epic didn't see him. He didn't realize Mel was dead until too late. There had been no cries, no pleas for help. There had been no shot. Max hadn't been able to figure out why the man left her. He had grabbed some food and left. Max had come back around the shelf and found Mel's torso leaning against a shelf and the rest of her body, from the waist down, on the floor. The edges of the body were singed. Max gagged involuntarily at the sight. Blood pooled everywhere. He couldn't stand to look at the gore. He stared into Mel's face and wept. He had worked with her for many years, helping fight the Epics and helping civilians. He had loved this woman. He had loved her and some Epic had just cut her in half.

Max held Mel's face in his hands and tears poured down his face as her eyes stared lifelessly past him. He cradled her head and wept into her hair. Her long brown hair that had been so soft. He had never told her of his love. He had thought it would make it harder to work together. Now he regretted his silence. He had never been able to hold Mel in his arms. He had never been able to stroke her hair. He had never been able to kiss her lips. Now, Max wept in anguish at his lost love.

After his lament, Max's sorrow had begun to morph into fury. He hated that Epic. He would find that Epic and he would fight him until one or the other died. He would not back down until Mel's death was avenged. The black fist strangling his heart would pain him for the rest of his life, but when that Epic was dead, when the black fist strangled him, Max knew his heart's pain would abate.

Max couldn't cry any more. His tears were spent and his anguish transformed. He kissed Mel's forehead and left the store. His blood-drenched clothes kept others away. When he made it back to his hideout, he burned them in honor of Mel and swore over the ashes to never give up.

As Max saw the blond Epic, Electro, as he called himself ride into the neighborhood on a robot, Max held himself back from charging the man right there. The robot and lifeless soldiers would make his revenge vain. He waited in the back of the crowd and gritted his teeth as Electro killed a mother and her son. When the old man died in honor, Max was hardly able to rein in the fire of fury that burned deeply in his bosom and threatened to engulf him. He had to make his vengeance worth something. Dying without a worthy attempt would make Mel's death in vain.

After the Epic turned the corner, Max knew he needed help. Electro had gained assets in the past day. Max would need a rebel force to combat his love's murderer. He began to mace throughout the crowd, whispering of fighting and injustice. He knew he needed to convince people, he'd need to get them riled up. Epics thrived on fear. Fear kept their enemies docile. Muttering of rebellion, Max began to strengthen hearts and resolve. They weren't ready to fight, but they were closer.

Death's Domain? Realm of Ruin? Electro pondered alternate names as he strolled towards Freeze's home. Electro knew which house it was immediately. The temperature dropped and ice decorated the house. Electro cut down the door and yelled, "Freeze! Come out and pledge to Corpsemaker or die."

A woman with platinum blond hair, tied in a braid over her shoulder came out. "Calamity! Do you always break down doors before knocking?" she asked. "Why should I work for this Corpsemaker? I'm doing just fine."

Electro replied, "See these fine toys of mine? You can have these and more if you serve the Dark Dominion." No, that's not quite right either. Electro thought. "Corpsemaker rules this land and offers wealth and privilege if you serve him. Death is your only other option." A jet of ice shot towards him. One of his army men jumped in front of him, obeying his command to protect. He was encased in ice immediately. Chuckling, Electro cut out the soldier. He walked back towards the rest and stood at attention. "Is that what you do?" Electro asked, Scrambling the woman. He loved confusing people; it made them more accepting of suggestions.

"What? What am I doing?" Freeze asked.

"You were coming with me to serve our new ruler, Corpsemaker, and get some soldiers of your own."

"Okay. I'd like that," Freeze answered. Electro smiled. He told Starscream to pick up Freeze and himself and they rode back to the armory on his shoulders. Edited September 1, 2014 by Mailliw73

[A Joe in the Bush]

Murphy walked through the streets, cracking pavement and tripping people right and left. No One realized it was him doing it of course. He was just walking. And that was the fun part. He looked around, seeking a potential. Ooh, there's one. A woman was herding her three kids down the street. They looked to be in a hurry. Murphy targeted the group. Instantly, the youngest kid tripped, accidently smacking the Boy in the head as she fell. The mother's purse broke at the bottom, letting everything fall out. Her phone started ringing as soon as it hit the pavement. The third kid grabbed and started talking as the boy child started crying. Quite the mess. Murphy never got tired of seeing events like those. That Woman would probably be going crazy soon.

 

"Oh, real mature. When are you going to actually do something with your powers?" Murphy scowled, and turned to face Streetwise, his long time friend.

 

"Like what Wise-Chull? Open a Hospital? Overthrow Regalia? Conquer the City?" He didn't bother asking Streetwise how he found him. He knew almost everything. And if he didn't know, he could find out.

 

"The last one actually. How would you like to rule your own City?"

 

Murphy paused. "What? I was being Sarcastic about that." And if I ruled, there'd probably be an Earthquake or something, and we'd all go floating out to sea.

 

"CorpseMaker. Heard of him? He's recruiting Epics to help him rule Oregon. Each Epic will get their own City if they Help him. I'm going to join up, and I thought you might want to come with me. He could be able to help you control your power."

 

When he had been blessed, with powers by Calamity a year ago, he had immediately set fire to his kitchen. It had been an accidentof course, but everything was an accident around him. It took him nearly a month to learn how to use his power to target people, and he still couldn't turn it off. It did have a nice habit of stopping would be killers though. "Sure, why not. It can't be worse than working for Syndrome was." Murphy had killed Syndrome. Once again, an Accident.

 

Streetwise grinned. "Awesome. He's up north, near Thoughtown."

Edited September 1, 2014 by The Only Joe

[Edgedancer]

The Pre-breakfast-burglars reacted surprisingly positive to Nighthound’s remark. Apparently they wanted to speak with the empire´s leader and as if on commando Lightwards walked onto the scene. I might as well let him have it.

 

Both parties seemed to hit it off rather well with each other, with Aldo the magnificent wanting to join up with them. Lightwards seemed rather enthralled by the offer. In fact he seemed like a happy little puppy that jumped at the first treat offered to it, by some random stranger.

 

Suppressing his urge to face-palm Nighthound stepped over to Lightwards and leaned close to him. “Listen here, I´m not going to object to recruiting anyone, why would I? However, if you might remember our conversation from yesterday, about you not hiring people without making sure whether or not they are trustworthy and, as much as I love his mustache and the jokes I´m going to make about it, stage magicians are not exactly known for being trustworthy. In fact, deceiving others is part of their job description. So please, tell the still living parts of your brain to be distrustful.”

                                                                     

 

The female Epic disguised as a glitter abomination reacted rather happily to someone stepping into their cottage, jumping out of her chair and exclaiming, “Your arm is made of shiny!" Directly zoomed in on my injury, either she´s very insensitive or very stupid, one way or another I´m already starting to hate her, excellent.

 

For a short moment Lucentia just flatly stared at her, until a last couple of angry shouts came out of the kitchen and a man exited it. He smiled at her and introduced himself. “My apologies. Our servant will be out in a moment. I'm Traveler, and I see you've met Doctor Funtimes."

 

Said Doctor turned out to be the glittered woman, who turned to Traveller and yet again stated the obvious. “Her arm is shiny."

 

Apparently Traveller found the dimness of his companion amusing instead of annoying and chuckled "I can see that, dear." The failure of interior design was apparently his girlfriend, which explained why he let her actually decide on the decoration. Can´t say no to his woman and his servants act out of control, truly a man of presence. This couple was just perfect.  He stopped for a short while, mustering her until he finally continued, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."  

 

Turning her stare from Funtimes to the Traveller, Lucentia said deadpan “My name would be Lucentia. Now would you be so kindly to tell me if you recently happened to travel through Portland.”

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

                                                                                    

 

Nathan knew Lucentia was a gathering storm of fury even before she introduced herself. She drew herself up straighter, pursing her lips slightly as Funtimes announced her shiny arm for the second time, and let her gaze flick over the room, the table, and the furniture before resting on him with distaste. He was being weighed and measured, and from what he could see, he had been found wanting. 

 

But Lucentia didn't seem the type to fly into a rage. Screaming, shouting, and breaking things didn't fit her queenly air. If anything, this woman was like snow: beautiful, but with a silent and deadly chill. She would slit his throat and turn away before the blood could stain her dress. 

 

Every minute of his life in Newcago demanded he apologize for whatever unknown offense he had committed to earn her judgement, confess it just, and beg for mercy. His first instinct was to kneel at her feet and offer her whatever she wanted, up to and including his own life.

 

She seemed like the sort to demand it. 

 

Instead, he maintained his pleasant smile, and apologized for the smallest offense he could see. "Terribly sorry about the chaos, Lucentia. I'm sure you know how difficult training new servants can be, when they don't want to be trained. We actually just left our allies in Portland yesterday." He glanced at Funtimes, who smiled. "We could introduce you, if you like." 

Edited September 1, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Edgedancer]

Traveller kept his smile as he replied to her. "Terribly sorry about the chaos, Lucentia. I'm sure you know how difficult training new servants can be, when they don't want to be trained. We actually just left our allies in Portland yesterday. We could introduce you, if you like."

 

Lucentia walked further into the room and pulled an empty chair over to herself, slightly extending the finger of her diamond hand for better reach. She turned it in a way that allowed her to face Traveller and sat down on it, keeping her back straight and crossing one leg above the other.

 

A woman, whose clothes could simply be described with the word hippy, next to Lucentia seemed more than uncomfortable with her presence, apparently the couple let their servants eat at the same table, no wonder they didn´t have any discipline.

 

Removing her cold stare from the woman she concentrated on Traveller again. “No, I don´t particularly know that problem, if you have a whole city full of servants to choose from, getting rid of the unpleasant ones makes it easier for the rest to behave.” Even if that means you have to be too hard most of the time.

 

She slanted her head a little bit and continued, they did seem like people that would attract undead dinosaurs. “Do those allies include a jerk named Nighthound?”

[A Joe in the Bush]

Every Morning, Sightline rose with the sun. He never slept until late in the night. Sleep was for those without a Cause. Sightline rose every morning, knowing his place in the world. He was the Purifier. Calamity had cursed the land, and he was here to sweep away the Epics. And yet, he was allied with Epics. A Sadistic Illusionist, Sightline had seen what he had done to the poor woman in the restaraunt last night. And today he would be taking Rita to talk with a megalomaniacal Necromancer. Eventually, he would have to kill them all, but for now, they were helping him kill his Enemy, CorpseMaker. Remember Sightline, The Enemy of my Enemy is my Enemie's Enemy. No more, no less. Maxim 29. These people were not Friends. Big Al and Rita might be grey for the moment, but eventually, they would be black.

 

He left the room that Altermind had given him, and went in search of people. Rita or Altermind. He waould have to talk to one of them about the trip to the Museum. Both of them were probably asleep still, but they could be woken easily enough. They'd gotten plenty of sleep the night before.

 

A door open, and Big Al strode into the corridor, smiling and munching, as he always was, on a McMuffin. "Hello Joe, You're up Early."

 

Sightline paused. Joe. When had he stopped referring to himself as Joe? He used to take pride in the fact that while others called him by hisEpic name, he was still uncorrupted enough to call himself Joe. "I'm doing, well I suppose. Do you know where I might find Altermind  or Voidgaze?"

 

Al gestured towards the throne room. "Altermind's probably in the Gym, but Rita's still asleep."

 

"Alright, we can let her sleep. I need to talk to Altermind first anyway."

 

"You never Smile."

 

Sightline continued walking, though Big Al had stopped. "Why would I?"

 

"Because Life is about the Pursuit of Happiness. Everyone has something that makes them Happy."

 

Sightline stopped. "Happy? Smile? I'll be Happy, when I'm no Longer needed. When I no longer have to kill. Do you know who the First Epic I ever killed was? I killed my Father, after he destroyed a City block because another Epic insulted him. I'll Smile, when my Father is Normal, and alive." He walked away, to help arrange an alliance between a Sadistic Depot and an Insane Tyrant.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

                                                                                              

 

Lucentia strode forward as though the cottage and everything in it was already hers, took the chair beside the hippie, glared at her a moment, and sat, drilling him with that stare. Evaluating him. 

 

“No, I don´t particularly know that problem, if you have a whole city full of servants to choose from, getting rid of the unpleasant ones makes it easier for the rest to behave.”

 

Funtimes scampered over and took a seat across from Lucentia, resting her chin in her hands. "Why'd you want to get rid of somebody you know's gonna be awesome?" 

 

Apparently ignoring the question, Lucentia asked one of her own. “Do those allies include a jerk named Nighthound?”

 

Why, yes. Yes, they do, Nathan thought, fighting a sense of unease. Nighthound had mentioned someone with a profound dislike of him, someone….

 

A sister. The sense of familiarity he'd had was no accident. Those sharp features, that cool dismissal—Nathan had first seen and feared those features in an Epic Doctor Funtimes had bombed with carpet. 

 

The chairs were all taken, so Nathan remained standing as he chuckled. "Ally ​is something of a loose term, when it applies to him—" 

 

"Nighthound?" Funtimes sat upright, eyes shining. "I dropped a bomb on him a couple nights ago." She tilted her head, grinning. "Want me to do it again?" 

Edited September 1, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King]

 

Sam paused with her cinnamon roll halfway to her mouth as a woman with a hand of diamond gracefully strode into the room. She was clearly an Epic, but one of the most majestic Epics she had ever seen. Her bearing was regal, her expression that of a woman confident in her control of the situation. She wasn't a heavy-breathing stalker type like Nighthound; she wasn't a stuffy and over pompous slontze like Lightwards.

 

Sam decided she could milk quite a lot of sarcasm out of her, assuming that the diamond queen wasn't capable of killing Funtimes.

 

Beside her, Revolution looked briefly troubled before leaning back in her seat, putting on the chilly smile she'd worn when she'd first encountered the Empire Epics. Sam folded her arms over her chest and watched the queen pull up a chair for herself.

 

 “My name would be Lucentia," the graceful Epic said coldly. "Now would you be so kindly to tell me if you recently happened to travel through Portland.”

 

Their hosts talked to Lucentia for a moment, Traveler seeming rational while Funtimes seemed entirely preoccupied with the queen's diamond arm.

 

"Terribly sorry about the chaos, Lucentia. I'm sure you know how difficult training new servants can be, when they don't want to be trained. We actually just left our allies in Portland yesterday," said Traveler. "We could introduce you, if you like."

 

Lucentia didn't answer immediately, instead surveying the table with a cold stare. Her eyes settled on Revolution for a moment, whose smile briefly wilted. Revolution never broke eye contact with the woman, however.

 

 “No, I don´t particularly know that problem, if you have a whole city full of servants to choose from, getting rid of the unpleasant ones makes it easier for the rest to behave," Lucentia said finally, drawing her eyes away from Revolution. Sam, deciding to ignore the common sense her mother would insist upon, stuck her tongue out at Lucentia.

 

Lucentia continued as if she either had not noticed Sam or didn't care. “Do those allies include a jerk named Nighthound?"

 

Surprisingly, it was Revolution who replied, fixing Lucentia with an icy smile of her own. "Nighthound? Oh, yes. He's been treating us all to his special brand of violence, psychosis, and misogyny since we met him."

 

A look in Revolution's eyes indicated she'd made some sort of connection, but Sam couldn't tell what it might be. Since Revolution had essentially summarized Nighthound already, she settled for reaching across the table and grabbing a bread roll from under Lucentia's nose.

 

"That about sums him up. Why do you ask? He your boyfriend or something?"

 

 

Nighthound looked mildly annoyed by Aldo and his assistant, walking uncomfortably close to speak into Lightwards' ear.

 

 “Listen here," Nighthound said in a whisper everyone present could hear. "I´m not going to object to recruiting anyone, why would I? However, if you might remember our conversation from yesterday, about you not hiring people without making sure whether or not they are trustworthy and, as much as I love his mustache and the jokes I´m going to make about it, stage magicians are not exactly known for being trustworthy. In fact, deceiving others is part of their job description. So please, tell the still living parts of your brain to be distrustful.”

 

Lightwards gently put a hand on Nighthound's chest and pushed him a short distance away. The feral Epic had been breathing down the professor's neck, informing him of precisely how hot and moist his allies' breath was.

 

"My brain is very much alive, thank you," he said coolly. "I maintain healthy quantities of paranoia. But I see no reason to turn these two down, not when we are at the brink of war and in need of allies."

 

Lightwards smiled. "And besides, they haven't tried to kill me as of yet, which is more than I can say of some of my other allies."

 

He turned away from Nighthound and towards Aldo. "I have a number of errands to run in the city today. If we might cement our alliance with a small favor on your part...?"

 

Aldo tipped his hat and smiled. "I'm your man and she's your woman. Speak and it will be done."

 

Cricket looked like she privately disagreed with her comrade's statement, but nodded curtly.

 

"Wonderful," Lightwards continued. "I seem to have left a minor belonging in a nearby suburb. Not terribly significant, but if I am to operate at full efficiency I'll be needing it back..."

 

He carried on, giving the details of the item and directions to the suburb. "...Simply bring it back here once you've found it, and we can carry on with our day. With any luck my other allies will have returned by then, and I'll be able to introduce you."

 

"No problem at all," replied Aldo, beaming. "We'll be right back."

 

The pair turned and left down the trail, Aldo whistling a jaunty tune.

[Mailliw73]

Electro woke up in his room in the armory. The sun had poked through the window shutters and warmth had slowly seeped in. Electro was reminded of times before Calamity. Times before his powers. He wouldn't go back to those days for anything. He had been sad and weak then. Now he had power, strength, and caused fear.

Electro had brought Freeze back to the Armory last night and reported to Corpsemaker. Freeze had been given her own room and a platoon of five soldiers. The hierarchy of authority was evident in the amount of soldiers Corpsemaker requisitioned for you. Electro had realized that having Freeze on his side could prove beneficial, particularly if Scorch changed his mind about wanting to work together. Her powers offset his beautifully.

Electro, trailer by his guards, ate some breakfast and then told Corpsemaker he was heading off again. He liked the time it took to walk. He was able to think. Thinking always helped him. A jet was too big and fast for such a short trip anyway. Starscream walked in front of Electro, warning civilians to scatter. Corpsemaker had learned from some of the officers of an Epic a short distance away that needed to be recruited or killed. He called himself Rat with Wings. Very unimaginative.

Altermind had arrived back at HQ the previous night to see citizens cleaning bodies of soldiers from the entrance to Thoughttown. He decided that Flashpoint and himself would need a debriefing session. Sending everyone else off to their rooms, Altermind found Flashpoint and gave him his new shotgun. "What in Calamity happened out there?" He demanded.

Flashpoint responded with a confidence that hadn't been there before. "A couple hundred mindless soldiers attacked us. They weren't very smart and just tried to overwhelm us. We defeated them with only a couple casualties. I don't know where they came from but they were almost like zombies."

Zombies. Lightwards could bring back the dead. Was this his doing? If so, he would pay. Only, Lightwards had been in the opposite corner of the city. Could he command soldiers from there? These were modern soldiers as well, not ones likely to be buried from wars past. He would have Voidgaze ask about it and find out.

"I'm glad you took care of it with such efficence. We successfully raided the store and killed a couple hunting Epics that ruled it. We met with the necromancer from the street fight as well. He's an arrogant professor, but he has useful allies. We set up a temporary coalition with them. Voidgaze is acting as emissary." Altermind informed his subordinate.

With his usual stuttering and respect noticeably absent, Flashpoint said, "How is she going to get to the floating museum?" Apparently winning a battle boosted his courage tenfold.

"Sightline can take her. Now, I've had a long day and I'm going to bed. Goodnight," Altermind said and left.

He woke up early and went to what had been a gym, but had been converted into the planning room when Altermind took over. The large open space was great for maps and planning. As Altermind looked over his maps, he saw Sightline come into the room. "Sightline," he called. "Just the Epic I wanted. You're going to take Voidgaze to the museum today, if it's alright. These are the maps they need." Altermind told the teleporter. He would need to make sure he found another way up to the museum. He didn't want to rely solely on this man.

Max had spent the night searching for people who were stronger and braver than the rest. He had continued to inspire courage and insubordination in the rest of the people. The Black Fist would release its grip on his heart and it would strangle Electro.

Anger kept him fueled throughout the night. Max had contacts from his time providing food for people. He met with those contacts and swayed a couple to his side. Two pledged to spread the word of the revolution. The others had either thought the plan foolish or were too scared to help. Aaron was one of the two who had promised his help. Max had spent the night at Aaron's hideout, planning and coming up with ideas to organize a rebellion. He had never heard of such a thing happening, not one with any degree of success. Some sort of assassinations would probably have to take place for the Black Fist rebellion to mean anything. Some smaller Epics at first, making their way up the good chain. Electro dead was the main goal, but ridding Portland of all Epics was even better.

The Rat with Wings was a rat. In all senses of the word, except the literal one. He looked like one, acted like one, and even smelled like one. The only benefit Electro could see in recruiting this man was that he could fly. He had a pair of measly wings on his back and a look of disdain on his face. "Corpsemaker? Sounds like a snob," the Rat said after Electro proposed the alliance.

"Death it is then," replied Electro. With Freeze, he had seen a benefit to be had from recruiting her. This mutation was just a poor excuse for an Epic. Electro commanded Starscream to use his razor-sharp fingernails to grab the Rat. The sniveling Epic tried to fly away, somehow managing to make it look like scurrying. He dodged Starscream's initial attempt, but after a Scramble, Starscream had no trouble grabbing the ugly Epic. He used his claw-like fingers to puncture the Rat's chest and vital organs. Starscream dropped the lifeless body to the ground.

Electro was finished here. The area he had been given had been scoured for Epics. A few had been killed and a couple recruited: Freeze and a man called Upgrade. He could enhance anything he wanted. Knives became sharper and guns more accurate and powerful. He had recruited more than Scorch though. He was proud of that. The fire Epic wasn't very smart or diligent. "Starscream, how do you feel about going for a ride?" Electro had had a long day yesterday and wanted to go have some fun. He ordered his guards to meet him back at the armory.

Starscream transformed into a jet and Electro hopped in. He took a ride up the coast towards Washington, screaming through the air at the jet's top speed of 2.8 Mach, as the instruments told him. Scenery flashed by below and the world was a blur. Electro used times like these to escape the memories of his childhood. Memories of loss and of anguish. Memories of weakness. Electro was strong now. He had shown that. He had proved to himself that he wasn't a coward. Death was nothing to him anymore. Shoving those thoughts aside, he focused on enjoying the ride. Barrel rolls and flips through the air. After a half hour of excitement, he decided to return to the armory and report to the boss. Edited September 2, 2014 by Mailliw73

[Tulir]

As the sun rose behind Mundivore, he was finally able to see the city he was approaching clearly.  Unfortunately, the sea was visible, so that was an end to his wandering in the current direction.  Well, this is a city, so I might stay around a little before turning around again.  He enjoyed wandering and running across the continent, seeing as there wasn't anything that tied him down to a specific place yet. 

 

As Mundivore approached the city, he immediately noticed that there was an enormous amount of rats and other vermin scurrying on the ground.  What could cause such a congregation of filth? He wondered as Mundivore made his way further into the city, making sure to crush as many rats  as he could.

[Kobold King]

 

Aldo the Enigmatic took his time in gingerly climbing back down the handkerchiefs.

 

"You know, someone really needs to teach these people about stairs or elevators," Cricket observed, watching the magician inch downwards.

 

Aldo merely grunted. Moving down on the line of hankies looked a little more difficult than climbing up.

 

For her own part, Cricket faced the very edge of the Museum and looked down. It had been years since heights had bothered her--while Caitlin Didsie would probably have passed out at such a view, Cricket enjoyed staring down at the city. It gave her a sense of power and purpose, surveying the grey metal and stone of the city as the distant roar of a jet plane came to her ears.

 

Seeing that Aldo was over halfway down, she stepped off the Museum. She dropped like a stone, falling through the air. The sound of air whooshing past her filled her ears, and she enjoyed the sudden breeze that seemed to wash over her body.

 

Poking fun at Aldo's drama was enjoyable, but nothing really compared to the sensation of falling. She grinned, turning a couple of somersaults in the air before the ground came rushing up to her. At the last second, she angled her body and let her feet hit the concrete. A rumbling shock ran up her legs, but as usual she survived. She brushed off the dust cloud that had risen up over her and walked to where the handkerchief rope hung over the ground.

 

Aldo had very nearly reached the bottom by this point, and allowed himself to drop for the final yard. He landed substantially less gracefully than Cricket had, but quickly pulled himself to his feet and pretended it hadn't happened.

 

"Right then," he said cheerfully. "Time to play fetch." The magician fished around in his pockets before pulling out what appeared to be a toy. Cricket knew better, though; as soon as Aldo fingers touched it, the object became a small white moped with an "A" and a top hat painted on one of its sides.

 

--------------

 

It didn't take long to travel through the city. Aldo's moped traveled at something less than an impressive speed, but Cricket was fast enough to keep ahead of him. She jumped from the roof of one building to another, keeping an eye on the path ahead.

 

Though Aldo seemed perfectly fine with it, Cricket wasn't too happy about running errands for the necromancer in the Museum. She didn't enjoy the feeling that Lightwards thought of them as simple servants.

 

Finally the suburb came into view, recognizable by the smashed houses and the strong smell of maple syrup. Cricket wrinkled her nose and leaped into the center of the street, glaring as Aldo parked his moped beside her.

 

Aldo was beaming like an idiot. "Seems like a sticky situation went down here not long ago," he proclaimed, peering around the suburb.

 

"Haha," Cricket said mirthlessly. "Let's just find that Jeep before I throw up."

 

"Not a fan of syrup, my dear?"

 

"Not Epic syrup that's been sitting in the sun all day," she replied, staring at the crystalline mess that lay on top of the ruins.

 

Aldo the Enigmatic continued smiling, peering around the block. "All kinds of interesting stuff here," he observed. "Sticks all over the place, oak by the look of it. But not a tree in sight. And that mess there."

 

He gestured at a pile of pink scrap metal laying in the street. There were a few vanillas here and there on the sidewalk, but they all avoided the wreckage.

 

"Excuse me, sir," Aldo said grandly, taking a teenage boy by the shoulder and pulling him close. "What can you tell me about this mess?"

 

"Uh, I don't know anything about it," the boy said nervously, licking his lips and looking around in a panic.

 

Cricket leaned against a wall and fixed the teen with a glare. "Just tell the man what he wants to know, and maybe we won't turn you into a dingo."

 

The boy's eyes widened. "I really don't know much about it," he whined. "There were some Epics here the other night. They fought, they killed some people. They ruined some houses. And then when Jack the salvage man came around to clean up, one of the Epics killed him. So nobody's wanted to touch any of it."

 

"Makes sense," Aldo said warmly. "Would you be so kind as to point me towards a white Jeep parked hereabouts? It should have a young woman with red hair in it."

 

The boy pointed around a corner. "There's a white jeep over there, but I don't think anyone's seen a woman in there." He looked at the magician pleadingly. "Can I go now?"

 

"Eh, why not?" Aldo asked, ruffling the boy's hair. He gave the boy a shove and turned away from him.

 

The white jeep was just that--a white jeep, pristine and undisturbed. It was parked by the side of a building, facing the main street. Cricket wasn't usually into cars, but she had to admit that this one was pretty snazzy.

 

Aldo walked over and rapped on the side of the jeep. "Mrs. Regway?" he said loudly. "My name is Aldo the Enigmatic. Lightwards sent us."

 

There was no response. Aldo opened the door and peered in. "Huh. That kid was right. No Alice Regway in here."

 

"Sparks," Cricket groaned. "Someone must have dragged her off. Those zombies don't seem to have a lot of volition."

 

"I'm not so sure about that," Aldo said thoughtfully. "No signs of struggle or physical coercion. It looks like she just opened the door and walked away."

 

"Why would she do that?" Cricket asked skeptically.

 

"No idea."

 

Cricket sighed. There were plenty of things she didn't like about this mission, quite aside from the principle of it. For one thing, she was generally unsettled by Lightwards calling this Alice lady "his belonging"--being an Epic was one thing, but being a disrespectful slontze was quite another. She'd been willing to put up with it as long as it was a simple mission, but she wasn't keen on the idea of spending her day trying to find a malfunctioning zombie.

 

"Let's just head back," she suggested finally.

 

"Empty-handed?"

 

"Why not? We're not his butlers."

 

Aldo sighed. "I wanted to make a good impression." He cupped his hands around his mouth and started shouting. "ALICE REGWAY? ALICE REG-WAY!"

 

There was no response, though a few passersby speeded their steps as they walked by.

 

Cricket shook her head. "Not gonna work. She could be miles from here. Let's just head back and tell him his zombies are broke."

 

"Alice Regway?" a voice mumbled from nearby. "No, don't think I know an Alice Regway..."

 

Cricket and Aldo glanced up sharply. Wandering into the street was a bearded man dressed in purple, looking thoroughly confused. By the look of things he'd just been wandering around in a trance and had heard them yelling.

 

Undoubtedly an Epic, but not looking like a particularly sane one. "Hello," Aldo said cheerily, taking a step forward and tipping his hat. "My name is Aldo the Enigmatic. And before you introduce yourself, let me just say that you have the most magnificent beard I've seen all week."

 

 

A giant robot stomped down the street, sending out a rumbling sound each time one of its titanium feet collided with asphalt.

 

Alice Regway watched the robot with a bemused expression.

 

Beside the robot was a rugged-looking man with spiky blonde hair. He looked confident, though Alice wasn't quite sure how she knew. Her head was still thick as glue and her eyes were drooping from lack of sleep, but somehow she was beginning to feel good. That professor's voice was getting softer in her head, as was the man in the front seat. She felt a little like herself again, though she really couldn't say what herself was.

 

"Starscream, how do you feel about going for a ride?" the blonde man said. He turned to the soldiers standing nearby and told them to meet him at an armory somewhere. Then he jumped into the giant robot, which transformed with a whirl of moving parts and motors. It became an enormous jet plane, which took off from the city with the thundering roar of a jet plane.

 

Alice stared up at the plane and watched as it receded into the distance. Then, fixing her eyes ahead at nothing in particular, she put her hands in her pockets and walked straight through the crowd of soldiers. They looked at her incredulously before shaking their heads and cautiously moving away. The last of them to step out of her way heard her singing in a low soft voice.

 

"Jingle bombs, jingle bombs, 'sploding all the way..."

[Voidus]

Purple Phoenix wandered the streets of Portland, the voices in his head screaming at him. Nothing made sense anymore, he'd awoken to find himself walking through the streets with two other Epics, they'd seemed scared of him and that had confused him even more so he'd sent them away.
He tried to summon the correct mindset, to act as a proper Epic should but it just seemed completely beyond him, all that had happened was that one of the Voices in his head grew even louder so he stopped trying.

Just then he heard some shouting from the next street over. Walking over Purple Phoenix was struck by the familiarity of this street, he'd been here before.
 "ALICE REGWAY? ALICE REG-WAY!" The voices yelled. Not his voices, the other voices. He briefly giggled at the thought.
He shuffled up to the not-voices, he'd decided to help them since they were obviously confused. He just wished that someone could help him.
"Alice Regway? No, don't think I know an Alice Regway..." he told them.
They seemed a little taken aback but one of them, the magician-not-voice, tipped his hat and greeted Purple Phoenix.
 "My name is Aldo the Enigmatic. And before you introduce yourself, let me just say that you have the most magnificent beard I've seen all week."
That... magnificent beard- it reminded him- the voices in his head grew louder again and he shook himself to get rid of them.
"I am... um... Purple Phoenix?" He responded, trying his best to sound sure of himself. He reflexively reached to take his own hat off to the nice not-voice but realized that he didn't have it with him for some reason.
"Do you know where my hat is?"

Edited September 3, 2014 by Voidus