The Battle for the Sandwich

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

4 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I collapse the perpendicularity and swipe the sandwich with steel compounding

Now, for the ultimate loophole

What if my favourite type of sandwich is... the Nightblood+Bands of Mourning kind?

Cackling like a maniac, I stab a sandcaterpillar, compoundong nicrosil to fuel the sandwich

Also I've decided who some of the powerful folks in the 7 Satrapies are:

Promachos: Trout

Prism: Named, even though he's in TLT right now

White: Sentiend Chull Person

Black: The Maw 6

Sub-red: Also Trout I guess

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue and superviolet: No one, for now at least

*pretends to understand*

I bash KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren on the head with a pool noodle, hoping he'll drop the Sandwich.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

12 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

*pretends to understand*

I bash KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren on the head with a pool noodle, hoping he'll drop the Sandwich.

he likes to eat soul-destroying weaponary combined with a metal bracelet that gives you the power of a god, all in the shape of a sandwich for lunch

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

12 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

he likes to eat soul-destroying weaponary combined with a metal bracelet that gives you the power of a god, all in the shape of a sandwich for lunch

I got that bit, but not the colourful bit. An acquired taste...

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

1 hour ago, Ink and Embers said:

*pretends to understand*

I bash KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren on the head with a pool noodle, hoping he'll drop the Sandwich.

I slice the pool noodle in half, and point my half at you, challenging you to a pool noodle duel

1 hour ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

he likes to eat soul-destroying weaponary combined with a metal bracelet that gives you the power of a god, all in the shape of a sandwich for lunch

Never said it had to be something I like eating

Just whatever I like most

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

15 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

The Thousand Stars break the laser into smaller beams and refocus and reflect it back onto Arrakis, adding the power of the sun to it.

Arrakis suddenly swerves, dodging the beam. I give a command and launch my fleet of fish with legs for an invasion of the Seven Satrapies. 

13 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I collapse the perpendicularity and swipe the sandwich with steel compounding

Now, for the ultimate loophole

What if my favourite type of sandwich is... the Nightblood+Bands of Mourning kind?

Cackling like a maniac, I stab a sandcaterpillar, compoundong nicrosil to fuel the sandwich

Also I've decided who some of the powerful folks in the 7 Satrapies are:

Promachos: Trout

Prism: Named, even though he's in TLT right now

White: Sentiend Chull Person

Black: The Maw 6

Sub-red: Also Trout I guess

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue and superviolet: No one, for now at least

Another sandcaterpillar sneaks up behind you (they can be sneaky when they want to, trust) and swallows you whole. 

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

8 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I slice the pool noodle in half, and point my half at you, challenging you to a pool noodle duel

Never said it had to be something I like eating

Just whatever I like most

I am delighted to accept the pool noodle duel and start attempting to duel.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

3 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

Arrakis suddenly swerves, dodging the beam. I give a command and launch my fleet of fish with legs for an invasion of the Seven Satrapies. 

Another sandcaterpillar sneaks up behind you (they can be sneaky when they want to, trust) and swallows you whole. 

I put Corvan Danavis in charge of my armies, and using the Chromeria's warrior drafters and superior tactics, they wipe out the fish with legs.

I offer the sandcaterpillar a seat on my Spectrum if it lets me go.

1 hour ago, Ink and Embers said:

I am delighted to accept the pool noodle duel and start attempting to duel.

I lash the pool noodle at you

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

51 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I put Corvan Danavis in charge of my armies, and using the Chromeria's warrior drafters and superior tactics, they wipe out the fish with legs.

I offer the sandcaterpillar a seat on my Spectrum if it lets me go.

I lash the pool noodle at you

Angered, Bartholomew personally challenges Corvan Danavis to a game of rock, paper, scissors, best 2 out of 3, with the following terms: If Bartholomew should win, all hostilities must be ceased for a minimum of 12 pages and the forces of the Seven Satrapies must withdraw. If Bartholomew should lose, hostilities will still cease for 12 pages, but he will relinquish the command of the fish with legs to Chromeria and give you the sandwich. If you refuse the deal, Bartholomew threatens to bring my allies in the Banana Republic into the war who have a much more advanced and powerful military. 

The sandcaterpillar offers to not kill you if you hand over the sandwich. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

3 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

Angered, Bartholomew personally challenges Corvan Danavis to a game of rock, paper, scissors, best 2 out of 3, with the following terms: If Bartholomew should win, all hostilities must be ceased for a minimum of 12 pages and the forces of the Seven Satrapies must withdraw. If Bartholomew should lose, hostilities will still cease for 12 pages, but he will relinquish the command of the fish with legs to Chromeria and give you the sandwich. If you refuse the deal, Bartholomew threatens to bring my allies in the Banana Republic into the war who have a much more advanced and powerful military. 

The sandcaterpillar offers to not kill you if you hand over the sandwich. 

Corvan accepts.

How do we do this here?

I counter-offer two seats on the Spectrum instead, and the sandcaterpillar also becomes a drafter of two colours of its choice.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

12 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

Corvan accepts.

How do we do this here?

I counter-offer two seats on the Spectrum instead, and the sandcaterpillar also becomes a drafter of two colours of its choice.

Good question. I didn't really think that through. Maybe we get someone to mediate, and we both PM them what we throw? 

The sandcaterpillar counter-counteroffers that it wants five seats on the Spectrum and to become a drafter of one color. 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

I offer to mediate

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

8 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

Good question. I didn't really think that through. Maybe we get someone to mediate, and we both PM them what we throw? 

The sandcaterpillar counter-counteroffers that it wants five seats on the Spectrum and to become a drafter of one color. 

I counter-counter-counteroffer 3 seats on the spectrum, because any more is half the votes, but it also becomes a drafter of any 5 colours and gets to be a Lightsplitter.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I steal the Sandwich after creating a massive black hole distraction.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, Ookla the Intelligent said:

I steal the Sandwich after creating a massive black hole distraction.

I steal the massive black hole, use it to suck you up, then throw you, with the Sandwich, across the cosmere so no one knows where the Sandwich is.

 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I hire no one. He tells me where the Sandwich is and I take it back.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I kidnap no one. He introduces me to his mega crime empire and tells me that's how he knew where the Sandwich was. I quickly replace no one as leader of the Mega Crime Empire and use illegal means to steal the Sandwich.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I destroy the Mega Crime Empire with info from no one, who was pissed off at you for taking over the empire.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I destroy no one and then restore the Mega Crime Empire.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I resurrect no one, who's grateful so steals the Sandwich from Uninteligenius and gives it to me. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

5 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

I resurrect no one, who's grateful so steals the Sandwich from Uninteligenius and gives it to me. 

But no one was really on my side all along and we were playing the long game. He gave you a fake sandwich, meaning I still have the real one, and I reward him with a box of donuts.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I eat the donuts because I'm hungry.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Avoiding the delicious temptation of donuts, I pull a mission impossible style heist and take the sandwich.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I arrest you for breaking and entering because you tried to do an illegal heist. I then take the Sandwich and throw you into a dungeon.

Edited November 24, 2025 by Uninteligenius
ninjad

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

21 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

I offer to mediate

Sure

13 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumorSpren said:

I counter-counter-counteroffer 3 seats on the spectrum, because any more is half the votes, but it also becomes a drafter of any 5 colours and gets to be a Lightsplitter.

It re-counteroffers 4 seats and becoming a drafter of 2 colors. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I steal the Sandwich out of boredom-and to prove that I'm awesome.