The Battle for the Sandwich

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I eject from my jet and call upon Pegasus to fly me up and catch the sandwich in the most graceful manner.

[The Stick]

I swoop down on a hang-glider and snatch up the sandwich as the oxygen tank on my back sprays pure oxygen into the path of Rye's jet.

[BlueWildRye he/him]

I think I'm dead several times over.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

The Grim Reaper says no and revives Rye again using necromancy.

Edited May 19, 2024 by Vyzkel Willbender

[BlueWildRye he/him]

I grab a bow and arrow and shoot the hang glider down, then catch the sandwich and shuffle away awkwardly because undead have decreased speed.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I easily catch up and yoink the sandwich, sprinting away with god-like speed.

[All_Mighty_Juice Royal Grand Exalted Highness]

I cross the street and accidentally bump into Vyzkel causing him to trip and drop the sandwich. I pick up the incredibly battered sandwich to hand back.

[strmblsd he/him]

As your handing it back I fall out of the sky for absolutely no reason and land right on the sandwich I stand up holding it and drink a potion and go invisible for the next two minutes as I sprint away.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

 

58 minutes ago, strmblsd said:

As your handing it back I fall out of the sky for absolutely no reason and land right on the sandwich I stand up holding it and drink a potion and go invisible for the next two minutes as I sprint away.

I throw the commas that you left out of that sentence at you, stopping you in your tracks and claiming the sandwich for myself.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I throw your eighth grade English teacher at you, now giving you an existential crisis and PTSD. I take the sandwich while you are having a panic attack.

[BrechioSwordMouse he/him]

1 minute ago, Vyzkel Willbender said:

I throw your eighth grade English teacher at you, now giving you an existential crisis and PTSD. I take the sandwich while you are having a panic attack.

You didn't bold that so you were dreaming.

Now I throw your eighth grade English teacher at you, now giving you an existential crisis and PTSD. I take the sandwich while you are having a panic attack.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Atheist Devil Worshiper said:

You didn't bold that so you were dreaming.

Now I throw your eighth grade English teacher at you, now giving you an existential crisis and PTSD. I take the sandwich while you are having a panic attack.

Crap you’re right.

I shoot my teacher in a bout of insanity, now chasing Nerdy with an obvious lack of self-preservation.

[BrechioSwordMouse he/him]

I use algonkorahbrothers's help to summon Satin and go down a mountain of cash and steal the sandwich.

[BlueWildRye he/him]

I infiltrate algonkorahbrothers' brotherhood and perform a cult ritual which teleports the sandwich far away. I check my radar and discover that it is in the Sandwich Islands (Hawai'i). I then steal some of the cash to buy a private jet to fly there, but of course I'm not flying it because I have PTSD from the time I died in that one plane crash.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I'm sunbathing with Jerome on the exotic Sandwich Islands while we take a break from fighting over the sandwich. Suddenly there's a loud crack in the air and the sandwich appears and falls into my lap. Jerome turns off the sun so no one can see anything and we run off the edge of the world and appear on mars.

[BrechioSwordMouse he/him]

I find Candace the queen of mars and get her martians to attack @Unintelligenius and steal the sandwich.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

15 minutes ago, Atheist Devil Worshiper said:

I find Candace the queen of mars and get her martians to attack @Unintelligenius and steal the sandwich.

You didn't bold it so it looks like you were dreaming. 

 

Jerome and I think mars is a little hot so decide to teleport to Pluto. We grab some skis and climb to the top of a mountain.

[The Stick]

I then teleport to Pluto and tell it that it is not a planet. While Pluto is crying, I take back the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

11 hours ago, Atheist Devil Worshiper said:

You didn't bold that so you were dreaming.

Now I throw your eighth grade English teacher at you, now giving you an existential crisis and PTSD. I take the sandwich while you are having a panic attack.

Unfortunately for you, I had a good 8th grade English teacher! After realizing that I don't need PTSD anymore, I spontaneously appear on Pluto, grab the sandwich, and spontaneously disappear from Pluto and head to Arakis.

[All_Mighty_Juice Royal Grand Exalted Highness]

As Aarakocra lands on Arakis, I set a thumper and a Shai-Hulud appears causing Aarakocra to sink into the sand, I swing in on a rope dangling from a spaceship and snatch the glorious sandwich from Aarakocra's hands. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I silence you with the voice and then make you give me the sandwich. Then I command a servant to bring me a barrel of spice and for everyone to leave the planet. Everyone leaves and now I'm relaxing in my hot tub with Jerome, filled with glorious spice.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I blow the spice in your eyes, making you temporarily blind, I take the sandwich while you’re distracted.

[strmblsd he/him]

It is not bolded so it did not happen

I blow the spice in your eyes, making you temporarily blind, I take the sandwich while you’re distracted.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

That’s the second time!!

I force strmblsd to do the cinnamon challenge, leaving him coughing as I walk away with the sandwich.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

I throw cinnamon in your eyes, blinding you in a most painful way. Then I take the Sandwich from you with no moral qualms whatsoever.