Usseewa
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Everything posted by Usseewa
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As Verdance said, it's good you have a plan. Have you looked into colleges rather than uni's? (Like community colleges or smth). If you haven't, maybe research those a bit. If you have.. idk.
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How did I get here...
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Well, we can't undo the past and we shouldn't... dwell on how we messed up, you know? Like... yeah. Also, are you sure you can't go to Uni?
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That sucks, I'm sorry I don't have much to say tbh. Wdym abt the HS grades? I'd say don't do anything you don't want to, life-wise, except when it comes to like a job you need to survive or something like that, yk? Like, don't let him choose your career/life path. But if he's offering good advice then consider it. I don't know everything so I can't give the best stuff idk
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Oh, well do you have any support, like friends or coworkers if you have a job?
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alleviate Oh, you moved out already? I mean I've known you/been on the Shard for.. wow, already like 4-5 months, so I guess things change. I thought you were still livin' with family. Oh, that sucks But, you can always go back later in life if you so choose. Do you have support IRL? Friends?
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Some of my notes are literal gibberish (I was way too tired this semester), and I have to study for finals Also, how do I take delayed notes when the lecturer is constantly speaking, with a few breaks of course? Like how do I... remember what they're currently saying and what they said and... idk. "I'd highly recommend the video linked above, despite it's length. It's really a goldmine, and most of ya'll likely spend 5 hours a week on the shard or scrolling anyway" First: I didn't see the comment about the length, and then clicked and was like "...." Second: It used to be more like 5 hours a day on the shard (and/or doomscrolling) Gosh I needa try out that mindmap thing. Idk if I have time tho lol, semester's coming to a close.
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I already utilized them twice I wasn't that suicidal, mainly it was for self-harm You should try alleviating some, if possible. Idk how close you are with your family but maybe they can help if u talk to them
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How do you summon the care to take care of yourself? I do it a bit I think, but not enough. At least I'm finally getting plenty of sleep.
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This is the second day, I think. Maybe third, idk. Also I didn't do bandages for all of them, even if they bled a little, cuz I can't spare. Or I didn't notice the blood until later. Are u stressed? U can probs be stressed and depressed, idk. Also: Finally
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Just... one.. more... edit: hey, at least I haven't SH'd today. Huh, just realized. To be fair I also slept in and played Celeste for an hour or two. Also... I ate some lunch today! (I skipped the last two days...) Yeah, true.
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True, I think I get it. But you also can't really do anything in life. Maybe this next part applies to me more than you (or maybe both, idk), but is it better to be locked in a room writing about/reflecting on the outside world, or is it better to experience it yourself? For me, I write about wanting to live, and yet here I am, not living. Idk.
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Oh yeah, true Why would it not mean anything?
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I feel that too. But.. even if you make yourself depressed, in the end you're still depressed. If you're feeling very down one day, and you force yourself to feel happy, and it works, then is that so wrong? I guess it's a little different, or feels different, but also ask yourself why you're making yourself feel that way? For me, perhaps the most prevalent naturally-occurring emotion is anger. I think that's a side effect of depression or something. But, I'm sure you've sometimes felt genuine emotions you didn't have to force yourself to feel. Like, if you aren't paying attention to your mind and then you realize you're smiling at a joke or just.. something, like nature. Or the same but you suddenly realize you're sad. Idk if this is helping at all lol. Besides.. if you have a hard time with emotions and need to force yourself to feel them, that could be an issue itself. Maybe related to depression or something, idk. Have you talked with a therapist about it? I'm just saying you could probably get some help for it, if you want to feel emotions more. Idk, maybe I misunderstood or something. Yeah..
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If it helps, I feel the same. At least I did for a while. And, it doesn't matter if someone has it worse than you, it's not a competition, or shouldn't be. I know how you feel though.
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The cuts aren't that deep or long... do I need to keep using bandages for a while? I don't really have enough. Thanks It's kinda hard to type or use computer for a long time, because it gets uncomfortable. And of course I cut myself on both arms so my dominant one too...
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uhh.. well I want to say Shaped, just cuz that's the title of the story.
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It's... normal? Two of them are under bandaids so I can't check how they look unless I take them off. But they don't feel overly warm. If they are infected, is it serious? Can I just... treat it myself? I'll get medical attention if I need to, though..
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Wait what ohno
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Woooo nice (sorry I'm not the best at feedback) is this an original world/magic system?
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I like it Whill, Shaper, Willshaper?
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Yeah, I'm out to everyone at this point. Also, do you mind responding to my new MHC post?
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well... I was playing Minecraft with two other people, but we had our physical IRL bodies. One of the people was my teammate or something, and the other was trying to... kill us. The one trying to kill us could track us and had very good weapons, while we had nothing. My teammate had some stuff actually, but I had basically nothing. Me and my teammate ended up running very very far out, and got a little break. But then we saw the killer person was catching up (I guess we could track them too). We didn't have enough time to destroy the signs of our presence, so we started digging underground to hide (because I guess the tracking was off cuz dreams are weird, so we thought we could hide and the killer would pass by). However, it was very hard to dig and me barely made any progress and I tried covering up stuff and blocking view of me for when the killer would show up, but it didn't work and I was exposed on all sides basically... It was like if you've ever had a dream where you try running from something but you just can't. You keep slowing and having to... start running again. Or you are off balance or something. Then, I saw the killer a bit away (we were in a cave I guess). The killer saw us probably because they were soon there with us. I was basically panicking, because this was essentially my life on the line. There was... some inkling of being able to respawn but not really? Or maybe not. Idk, it was very dire. And I didn't really have any hope, I knew I would die. I was extremely outmatched, and could barely move aside or do anything aside from stumbling and fumbling. SH/Gore/Violence Before that (I think), it was IRL and people were deadnaming me by accident. And someone... said I should take pride or realize the importance in my old/dead name? And I was like "what!?" and they thought I was being rude or something... Yeah. Every time someone deadnames me (which isn't that often, thankfully...) it's just... it feels like I disconnect from reality? I also don't really know how to feel other times. But I just want it forgotten (my deadname). Then I had this weird thing that was... maybe a half-dream or something? Cuz I looked up sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucinations (which are common, usually harmless, hallucinations when you're falling asleep or something like that) a bit ago (cuz I look up random stuff and convince myself I have it...) So basically I might've been somewhat awake or completely asleep and just dreaming, idk. But I kept opening my eyes a little for like a second or less and then closing, and I heard stuff and imagined stuff... idk. The Minecraft dream was pretty terrifying cuz I was being chased, knowing I can't escape, can't rest, and will die (like, IRL die) if they caught me. What's 340?
