Please let me know what you think of the new banner! I may make tweaks to it.
As for the following story, it is...shall we say, related...to one from yesterday. This one about half as long, but yeah. Fun fact: I wrote it entirely while listening to the song "Lily" by Alan Walker et al. on repeat. This one may not be as good as the previous story...but it's something.
Omnipresent
Oftentimes Lily would lay awake in bed—tear-soaked pillowcase under her cheek—trying to catch sleep, but it was tantalizing. Sometimes it came easy. Other times, it hid in the shadows. Periodically, Lily would get close to finding sleep, and then it would taunt her and vanish—off to a new hiding place. And when Lily lay in her suddenly-uncomfortable bed, eyes leaking tears that she didn’t care to wipe away, thoughts and…images…plagued her. When she closed her eyes, some image or another—usually a manifestation of one of her many anxieties—would be there. Lily could open her eyes to dismiss it, but it often returned when she shut them again. Her eyelids were like curtains, though in an inverse way. When her eyes were open, they functioned as closed drapes. She could only see the darkness of the dorm around her. This helped comfort Lily. She was reminded of the real world, where her thoughts weren’t manifest. At least not tangibly. When her eyelids were closed, the curtains drew back to reveal horrors outside the window. Sometimes they crept up and out into her world, sticking with her even when awake.
So, Lily would toss and turn some nights. She would sometimes dance with a fitful sleep, starting awake at random points in the night—or day—to find herself crying, sweating, and shaking. Some nights—such as after a good spurt of writing—Lily would find peace. Those nights occurred too infrequently, and always lasted the shortest, naturally. Her bed had once been comfortable, but now she found it too hot, or too cold, and overall not conducive to sleep. She would lay in bed, wondering why she couldn’t sleep. She would cry tears of frustration, sometimes just giving up and getting up to write some more, or staying in bed but watching some anime.
When Lily was frustrated like this, however, she found it difficult to enjoy anything. She just wanted to express it somehow, but no one was there to listen. She could scream, but no one was there. She could pound the wall, but only end up with an aching fist. Lily usually found sleep eventually—only realizing it when she woke up. Sometimes sleep helped and Lily woke up in a good mood. Other times, she would wake up—feeling dried tears upon her cheeks—and immediately feel awful.
Nights were the worst for Lily. Earlier in the day, she found it easier to be happy. When night began to creep in—when the winter sun began to set—the shadows stretched toward her like hands until she was completely enveloped. Sleep was an option to escape this, but…Lily often found she didn’t want to sleep. She would just end up lying in her bed, miserable, for hours.
Lily sometimes found solace in the realm of the internet. It was the only place where she could break out of her shell somewhat. Though she had to be careful. Shadows could move in and out of the digital world; sometimes new fears and anxieties emerged from the screen, other times those shadows crept in from outside the screen—like an invasion upon the oasis.
Overall, however, Lily realized that she could relate with some of the people she met in this realm. She even found comfort simply from interacting with…with another human—something she rarely did offline. Sometimes Lily would write less one day in favor of the internet. It took up her time. Unnecessary. Dangerous. Was it?
One day, Lily woke up in the morning—or, rather, sometime in the afternoon—and realized something. She…she heard something. People. Outside. Lily leaped out of bed—legs becoming entangled with her covers—and hopped to the single window. She pushed aside the drapes, blinking as the sun hit her, and smiled.
Yep.
- Lily
