Robinski

Good call. You could easily cut to a day or two later, or even come in very late and have them already fleeing together. Probably don't need more than another couple of three paragraphs. Yeah me too, although not enough to mention, apparently. Yes. In fact, cape says it twice on the same page, so you easily would be justified in using it again at the very end, like a catchphrase sort of thing.

Loving all these shorts you're putting up. It's great to see more of your ideas, and I think it really helps to evolve style and skill. (#stilllovegreenocean) (Page 1) - I absolutely love the title of this story: conjures all sorts of possibilities. - Fantastic first paragraph. It tells me so much information, but also has a sort of singsong poetic tone. I'm really getting into this. I'm also taken with the name J. Good work there too. - "as much of the trickster than as all but a small handful of the men who had passed through over the last few centuries" - This is really wordy and awkward, for me, and it's a long old sentence. These factors may be connected... - "slept on the back of the door..." - Lol. Funny, "...in the highest room of the elder trickster’s tower", and awesome!! - "not even the most gifted thief" - Ha, ha! There's a challenge if every I heard one. So, you've nicely set the scene, got me invested in a cape as a character, and set up what seems likely to be the main conflict of the story. Very neat, sir. I doff my cap to 'ee. (Page 2) - "put a hand inside one of them" - Missing word. - "a stale toffee..." - Oh, that's good. - "As she sunk sank into the borderlands between sleep and wake waking" - I'd say b/l was one word, but I guess this one is optional. 'Sank' is not!! Also, 'wake' is a verb. (Page 3) - "suffused the village up into the stronger currents" - Two 'ups' close together, and I think this is smoother, and just as clear. - I'd say moonbeam was one word too. - "a dream began to dream itself" - Fantastic. Lovely lyrical line. Hmm, I'm nervous that we've got another character after only two pages of a nine page story, but I'll go with it. I was very much enjoying J's POV, so this better be good, and make sense (i.e. having two POVs in such as short story. - "a squat, round stone" - comma. Without it's like 'Let's squat round the fire.' - "that run ran through the village" - Tense again. - "scattered amongst the river" - This should be like scattered among the leaves, like many small distinct things, but you can't scatter among a single entity (the river). 'scattered along the riverbed', perhaps? - "and had not had chance to see many river rocks" - Yikes. I think 'had not seen' is perfectly adequate. - "he was on to onto something" - Two words is the travel version, I believe. Like, 'let's move on to the next town'. - "He reached out a hand" - I lost some perspective here. He's at the side of a river, how does he reach in a touch the rock without wading into the river? There's something off about the blocking, or the description. (Page 4) - So, is J dripping wet? Or in fact, was the rock not win the river at all? You see, it was 'amongst' that started all these problems - "J took a long, indulgent..." - Typo. Also, comma after long. - "I won’t have any friends" - Missing word. - "Yeh" - Yeah. - "I’m going to get in trouble again" - Great line. There's a lovely vein of humour running through the story. Top marks for that. So, you very neatly got around my concern by having J as a character (and the driver) of L's scene. neatly done. (Page 5) - I like the jump to the action, avoiding all the plant gathering and planning. Good idea: keep us with the action. - "to make her to put for forward her reasons" - Editing issue. - "the sun-soaked room" - This needs to be hyphenated. (Page 6) - Each of the paragraphs giving a reason needs to have an apostrophe at the start, because it's all part of the dialogue. You don't put an apostrophe at the end until the last paragraph of J's dialogue however. - "though I am a fool" - This sounds off. Shouldn't it be 'though I am not a fool' as is a jester. - "exploded into plumes" - Plural. - "crimson-chested humming birds" - Compound adjectives need to be hyphenated. 'half raised' too. - "sifted herself through the down through the golden dust motes" - Extra words. Lovely image though. (Page 7) - "overfed" is one word. - "plume of hummingbirds" - I think. Hummingbirds is one word. - "as she (missing word) with awe" (Page 8) - "bleary-eyed" - Get onto E b a y and buy a bag of hyphens, will you - "What had happened?" - Wrong tense. - "ripped the seams..." - Excellent line. - "life time" - Should be one word. Also, the tense changes half way through that sentence. (Page 9) - "but that you are not is why I am here" - Hmm. This suggests that J is morally superior to normal folk, but she's left L in a deadly position and seems very lighthearted about it. I'm not convinced about the consistency of the character here. Although to be fair, she was no goody-two-shoes before, so probably it is. But what I'm feeling off is that Cape seems to think she is more worthy than she is, I think. - The last line's not powerful, but that doesn't mean it's bad. Summary This is an excellent story. I really like so many things about it, the tone, the style. The light, amusing and colourful touches I expect to get from you, and that rich thread of nature that is your hallmark. One thing that I thought was confused was the distinction of J getting any old living cape, and THE Cape of the master. I'd don't think that consistent through the story. Also, near the end, the cape seems to judge her as being more moral and law-abiding than she seems to be in practice, but I've no reason to think she won't go back to rescue L. Still, it's a very rotten thing to do to him. I suspect he'll suffer in the time he is incarcerated. Observations aside, great work. Really enjoyed that. More than Scent, for me personally. <R>

Excellent.

Good grief, you're on fire. Sorry I've haven't read this week's yet. It's just great to see you break away from GO for a spell and get to the end of some stuff

This is awesome. Well done. I'd like a physical copy. Will you have any with you in Dublin?

Lol, faceplant!! But yes, S is a character who runs away from agency (which must be an oxymoron, but you know what I mean). It makes it really hard to like him, which I don't. I don't like him. I'm acquainted with him. He's in the story. This leads me to think about character change, arcs, etc. Who in the D-verse has an arc and changes from the beginning to the end of book. I don't see O changing (thank goodness! He's the super-best NPC in the whole world), or R. Man isn't really in enough, but in Society (my favourite story still) he does exhibit change, I think, growth. S's growth has been very limited, in my view. I feel like all we've really seen is him go from being unable to go outside, to being able to go outside with some encouragement. His growth feels geologically slow, and I would like to see more in this book, and more over the first part of the book.

Sorry, took a while to get here. Chapter 8 (page 1) - "honored to study along such notable maji" - 'among', I think. - This opening epigraph is a wee bit underwhelming for me. - Ah, but then I see it flows directly into the chapter, so fair enough. - "chair-high cylinder" - Super awkward. If you just say 'cylinder he sat on' it's directly implied that it is chair-height. Oh wait, it's way more complicated. - "The colors acceptable?" - Lol. Like that. - Confused how they communicate though. I thought the universal translator only worked in the N? - "Neither G nor I am familiar" - are. (page 2) - Hmm, this variation in how the N affects beings in terms of translation seems very plot convenient. Seems a bit arbitrary. - I don't really see why there's a stutter. If the sign language is being interpreted by the N, why would it leave the stutter in? Also, If the tapping is a required part of the 'speech' mechanism, why would it come across as an impediment? (page 3) - "the same concept of gender" - I'm not sure 'concept' is the word. Male and female are not concepts, neither is non-binary, they are real, physical things, proven in practice (as it were). - "innervator" - Did you mean 'innovator'? Innervate doesn't seem to fit. - "the head at the time," - Suggest deleting. They all know this so it's very maid-and-butler. The fact that M tasked TD with something implies M was the leader, I think. - "communal organization" - Is there another kind? - "after the Lobhl was finished" - Suggest deletion, more direct, in the moment. (page 4) - "with picked recordings" - Selected, surely? - "He glanced over the L" - This sounds quite rude. - "The point M is dancing around" - Deliciously pointed banter. Love it. - "gripped the paper in both hands, keeping his hands still" - Repetition. (page 5) - "Society closed" - 'disbanded' seems more suited. - "our search for the edges of knowledge" - Yeah, I've kind of lost track of what they're looking for. - "For the D" - Ah, now it might be WRS, but I feel like I've lost track a bit of what's at stake. Also, you might remember I was a bit 'meh' about the title 'F of the N'. I think it's because it sounds rather like a guide book, a travel guide. Chapter 9 (page 5) - "you been up?” She asked" - 'she', as a dialogue tag. (page 6) - "the base chime" - bass? - "vibrating like a bell" - I don't think a bell vibrates, although things hits by the sounds waves from the bell might vibrate. Then again, they might resonate, or reverberate. - "R looked to the few displays on her walls, making sure they didn't fall" - This seems like a very passive sentence. You always seem to say looking to, not at, which is more direct (I think). Also, how does looking at the shelves prevent them from falling? (It doesn't.) I suspect she more is hoping they don't fall. It's a very dispassionate and distancing account of an effective earthquake / series of tremors. She encountered it? Sounds like passing a friend in the street. I'd have a much scarier description here of nik-naks rattling on shelves, our fear. Why can't some porcelain thing fall and break? I want to be scared here. - "is correct.” he..." - typo. - Repetition of 'jabbed / jabbing'. (page 7) - "without thinking what it would do to the status quo" - This is harsh. Knowing the answer does not necessarily do anything to the SQ, but it allows one to react/respond. - "It was to be the subject of a conference" - Unclear. Is this the right interpretation? - "S and R spilled in" - Excellent. I'm really pleased that you did this off screen. It would have been reasonable to play through that scene. It might have been very exciting, but it's a nice surprise to cut it out and plunge the reader into the aftermath. Well done. - "all of them they were settled" - I know, I know, it's first draft, but I'm finding the narrative fairly wordy and meandering, sometimes. (Page 8) - "Do you know what happened to me" - Ooh, selfish much? (Page 9) - "obvious cleaning S had administered" - I does not seem so bad that he could not clean himself, which would be more usual. This sounded odd to me. - "younger man's" - I didn't know I was younger than S. How much? Also, I isn't a man, surely. And is R not aware of that? - "She looked the question" - This grammar's awkward. Just the wrong word. 'directed' would be more appropriate, I think. (Page 10) - "how much effort the A was putting forth" - Putting into what? I can guess, but not really clear. (Page 11) - "were very limited" - I'd suggest 'are'. He still had the impressions, and it sounds more immediate, I think. - I found the end of this section quite abrupt. Not in the place it was left, but in the way if was left. It doesn't really feel like the end of the discussion, or leave a clear, agreed course of action. (page 12) - "After I returned..." - Seems to me there's a strong implication here that it's because I returned. - "the other man" - I don't think of them as men. Maybe young men. - "sliver of pleasure" - I don't feel 'pleasure' is the right word. Surely, S and R used to be pals. I feel like it's more like 'satisfaction'. - "he chastised himself to be bigger than that" - Grammar: this feels mixed up to me. Wouldn't he chastise himself for not being bigger than that? I've never heard of someone chastising to... something. - "he wanted I all to himself" - I'm not feeling this sudden selfish streak in S. I know it's an emotive topic, and R has let the team down to some degree, but still. - "S sighed, but watched him go" - Why 'but'? the sighing and watching him go are not contrary. I think it should be 'and'. - "which S wasn't going to argue with" - I would say you argue with a person, but you argue against an idea. I'm really struggling with the prose in this section. It feels very rushed. I know you don't wordsmith till further down the line, but that doesn't help me at this point (Page 13) - "Every time he tried to touch I, he shied away as if S would hit him" - (1) I can't remember the stage of their relationship. I gather it's intimate, but I think this is the first reminder/clue to that. Maybe WRS certainly, but I think maybe a stronger representation of this in S's thoughts while I is missing would help deliver the emotional resonance in this section. (2) I find the phrasing awkward with the 'he's' and the names. - "shouted over the constant noise" - He said the chime had rung four times, so there must be periods of silence. I would not characterise a bell (or whatever) tolling and stopping as being constant noise. - "of S a m leaving the apartment of his own volition" - Having the name makes it sound out of S's POV. - "Especially since he had..." - Not convinced about starting a sentence with 'especially'. I'll stop commenting on grammar and word choice now. it's really slowing me down. - "a gong living inside his head" - I find this analogy rather weak. it has the ring of cliche (pun intended). (Page 14) - This bit about S bringing all the people together and then they all get a description and where they've come from, it's really hammering the tension and the pace of this section. I'm skipping now. I don't want or need to know any of this. Get me to the bridge! Brandon, I think, (or Mary)... someone from WE said stay with the character with the most at stake. That's Ori. He is where the action and tension and mystery are right now. - "The bridge has some tenuous connection in the old texts he’s found" - This repeating the brief exchange between S and O. While they all stand around talking, I'm going to the bridge to find Ori. - "How did you get here?" - For a smart lady, this is a really pointless and irrelevant question. Couldn't someone other than R ask it it it has to be asked at all? - "A hadn't seen M-A taken aback like that before" - I would argue that he has several times, most recently when I returned, but surely other times like when the LC showed up, in the prison when they discovered the Ar, etc. - You referred to A and I as men, but here they are tittering like schoolboys which just underlines my current impression of them. Also, their laughter feels totally off tone with the events unfolding, and our of character too. (Page 15) - "vanishing into the distance above" - I read this like it was referring to the bridge before I realised it was the wall. The bridge is the focus of our attention. - This bridge has been a dead end for hundreds(?) of years and no one has ever done more to investigate why or where it might have gone? Seems odd. Feels about like author ex machina. (Page 16) - Repetition of 'trailing', which I'm not keen on anyway compared to following. and it's sitting close to uses of the word 'railing' too, which doesn't help. - "like someone was pulling a practical joke on him" - I feel like that too. Has this ever been mentioned before? It feels like the old Agatha Christie trick of the 'smart' detective pulling out a bunch of facts that nobody new but him/her and were not present in the story before. I've been experiencing wonder at the bridge going into the N and they were standing around knowing the answer all the time. (Page 17) - Bah. It's ringing a bell with me now that R mentions it, but did S not know this already? Surprised it didn't come up in conversation. - Yeah, the pace really picks up once they're at the bridge. I think more glossing over of the walking about would be good. (Page 19) - "You recall when I asked you to find the a connection between the strange occurrences since you arrived in the N?" - I think 'when' is redundant, and there could be more than one connection. I feel like the Ef would not be so narrow and presumptuous in pre-assuming there was only one. - "That was when the incessant chime finally stopped" - I don't think 'finally' is doing anything here. I've been reading about the chime for weeks, so I don't need a reminder it's being going on (and off) for ages. I think the line has more punch without 'finally'. Summary I enjoyed the ending of the submission. It's a very dramatic moment and I'm bursting to read this week's submission now. There are lot of stuff before that that feels unnecessary and a bit frustrating, I thought. I enjoyed Chapter 8, but it did not zing with nostalgia quite as much as I would have liked. Chapter 9 had several issues for me. Them waiting around for the group to assemble felt very unlikely to me. Why would they? Are they not adults? Meet at the bridge, not in some public place so they can all go together. That did not work for me. Overall though, progression of the story was good and the last few pages rattled along. <R>

Yay!

I like Tom I like Kevin, but it makes me think about 'We Need To Talk About Kevin', and since the character is potentially psychopathic, maybe too close. I like Carl. That speaks of a certain unhingedness to me. Thank you, so many good suggestions!! Ooh, I like these too. Thanks so much @industrialistDragon, @kais and @Mandamon - very helpful.

Suggestions wanted!! Heya, folks. So, I need a fairly straight up, short boy's name for the second Q_&_M story. I started with Ben, but I actually need that for something else, and can't change the other thing. I'm using Sam as a placeholder, but I'm not entirely happy with that (possible because of Facets!!). Dan? - Ach, association with WE is strong in that one, although it might be strangely apposite in a twisted way (of course!); John? - Nope, I've got a Johnny in the story now. Any suggestions will be thoroughly well considered, and much appreciated

Cool

Interesting slice of journalism there, suggesting that the ladies were not 'to the front' in the first place!! P.S. Maybe you have or maybe you will one day come across Emma Kade in your travels. She and my daughter became friends and hung out a lot when Ash was in Canada for a year. Dunno, suspect maybe not exactly in the same wheelhouse, musically, but still.

Yeah, right up until I'm the one sitting at the table surrounded by a 'U' shape of faces

Proud to announce that I am now a member of the Glasgow Science Fiction Writers Circle, illustrious members of which include Neil Williamson, Cameron Moffat (first novel recently came out from Angry Robot) and 'absentee member' Amal El-Mohtar. Went to my first meeting yesterday and it was awesome. In-person critique of 'poor' Brian's 4,700 word short story was just fascinating, and he had to sit there and listen (and take notes) on 9 critiques before getting a chance to rebut. Everyone was so invested and enthusiastic, but did not give him an easy ride. They had me the minute someone pointed out there were typos of 'its' versus 'it's'

Gotcha. File received.

Count me in. You say you don't need LBLs, but would they help? Or even if they wouldn't help, would you tolerate them?

Lol, @Mandamon is the Aaron Sorkin of RE! (I'd take that ).

Chapter 7 - (pg.1) - It's nice to be reunited with the Gr, however I thought that the chapter title was rather bland, and the epigram does not exactly wow and drag me into the chapter. It's a very gentle a passingly interesting introduction. - (pg.1) - "he couldn’t be sure they’d walked down any of the same ones as when he came before" - Wordy and hard to follow, I thought. - (pg.2) - The conversation about the expedition is a wee bit maid-and-butler, on the edge, I thought. I sounds a bit staid, slightly forced. - (pg.2) - I like the suggestion of straying into emotional territory when E puts her hand in S's, but then it seems to be a moment still born, certainly in S's mind. But, E steers the conversation back there, but again, rather than answering from the heart, or revealing anything meaningful and an emotional level, S pushes the idea away, it seemed to me. I'm not expecting grand romance on MRK levels (I just finished Shades of M&H, after it sitting on my list for years, so my thinking might be coloured by that!), but it's an area which is pretty much completely shunned in the Nthr stories, it seems to me. I feel I can pretty much count the instances where such things are 'dealt with' on the fingers of one hand. There is a potentially very intriguing dynamic at work between the three young people, and it's something I occasionally wish was given a wee bit more space to grow. - (pg.3) - Ooh, ahh. Now then. This cut to the other side of the encounter with the Gr is super awkward. Surely there are going to be a substantial number of readers who did not read Journey, or not by the time they read this, who are going to be left all at sea by this. There is a very exciting showdown scene, packed with tension and action, and we just left past it to more introspection. I think this is problematic tonally. - (pg.4) - "as the anxiety welled up in him" - He's just so weak, so needy. It's not engaging in a main character, and I think it's almost worse when we see him from the POV of others, especially E, because it accentuates his weakness. We just passed a scene with the meeting where (I think, I don't remember all that well) S saved the day, used his initiative and was proactive, wasn't he? I would seriously consider trying a version of this story where you incorporate the same scene from Journey here. Maybe you could use a different POV, or look to trim the one you have. An interesting exercise is nothing else, but more than that, I think it would really add to S's character. It's not exactly that I'm disappointed by how little he's moved on; I can see he's consistent with latter stages of Seeds, but he's starting from such a low base. I'm getting frustrated with him again. - (pg.4) - "Z would welcome her back" - Ah, bit confused about the context, the why. - (pg.4) - Hah, as if calling my bluff, the tender moment comes out at the end of the section. That's good, but I don't think the romantic (feels odd even using that word, given that we never really see the extent of S's feelings for E, even in his POV) tension points at that moment happening, and we are in her POV as well. I think it's a tuning issue, maybe. I mean he seems so blasé about it. It's not that I want him to be all nervous and awkward, but his reaction to the kiss seems out of tune with his baseline state. - (pg.5) - Hmm, and we've jumped again. I'm feeling this chapter very disjointed. - (pg.6) - I'm not clear what they're searching for here. Is it still I's location, or is E registered missing now and they're searching for her? - (pg.6) - "he one that had such a vastly more complex progression of chords that than the other materials" - Suggested for flow (and a typo). Kinda wordy, I thought. - (pg.6) - "And the iron" - With each bar that he finds, locating the next one is a decreasingly difficult achievement, by simple probability. It would be a more interesting and worthy test if the rods were rearranged each time. - (pg.6) - "Bu I can't do" - Typo. - (pg.7) - "a repeated trio of notes " - (pg.7) - "Like someone jerking a chair" - This is great. I'm really enjoying this discovery scene. It moved S forward as a character every bit as effectively as all his nervous vacillation holds him back. - (pg.8) - "white an olive" - Typo. - (pg.9) - "one hand reaching out to take it" - Suggested for clarity and flow. - (pg.9) - "backwards" - Very cool and effective analogy. - (pg.10) - "The m were staring at him, wide-eyed, gaping" - Hypen required; compound adjective. Also, I think this moment deserves a bigger impact. It's huge!! - (pg.10) - As the titles of particular people, I do believe that M C and M A, maj should be capitalised. - (pg.10) - The discovery in the end is a little underwhelming. A new house!!! And only one proponent of it, but there must be others. And it's a hole new type of house, is it not? So how many other houses might there be that no one knows about? A whole new set of houses?!?! - (pg.11) - Another POV hop. This chapter is very disjointed. - (pg.11) - "...the day before. It would ring again..." - Part of same sentence, First sentence not complete. - (pg.11) - "some errand to corner R" - Typo. - (pg.12) - "He's falling apart" - I really don't get that from S. He doesn't seem any worse than at the end of Seeds to me. Certainly not on the edge, I think. - (pg.12) - "didn't know whether most of them were true" - Something awkward about this 'whether any of them were true' is clearer, I think. - (pg.13) - "Letting her know she was no longer welcome near him" - I'm really quite confused about R's emotions / position now. I didn't get this sense from him really. Overall There's lots of good stuff in this chapter, but also quite a bit that felt disjointed. I enjoyed it, but could have enjoyed it a good deal more. Uneven is a word that springs to mind. There are momentous moments like discovering a new house, but it seems lost among other moments that feel shoehorned in. The plot is progressed, but the POVs feel scattered. Might they not sit together or one or two be combined somehow? I don't know. Plus the big gaping hole around the Gr encounter. I hope this helps. <R>

Well, I wouldn't say it's a dominant thing. I think it's in the weave.

Yes, hopefully we can be about the RE panel too, as I have no other qualifications!!

And listen, I am happy to read more of it, in a critiquing capacity. I've got to assume the 'fantastical' elements will come into the story. As a first chapter of Book 2, I can totally see the need to reestablish all the characters from Book 1 before starting up the plot. So, I would keep reading at this point, but if Chapter 2 didn't kickstart the action, that's probably where I would start becoming dissatisfied. But I do enjoy your direct style, which leads me to the comment about enjoying reading, possibly in spite of a potential lack of engagement with the content.

Awesome! I did see on Titter or Famebook that they were just starting in earnest on the programme, so I'm really hoping that the RE panel comes to pass still.

Hey @shatteredsmooth, glad to be reading this. Because of where it is, I've sent you LBLs, which I thought would be useful. 1 - I think I could, yes, because the earlier stuff is clearly signposted, and explained enough that I can gloss over and accept it. Where I have issues is where things are not explained, like the sudden whiplash near the very end about absorbing energy, which comes out of nowhere. Nor did I remember seeing anything about how M's face got burnt, or who (what?) B e s s i e is (I guess dog, because of the context only.) 2 - See answer to 1. Not really. I won't really know who the character are, but can read between the lines pretty well so far. 3 - Not really. For me, M was the together one who picked up the pieces when E was falling apart after hearing the news from JD. 4 - No. You describe him as a jock, but I cannot see that in any way. In this chapter he cried, waved, was clingy and squeaked at least once. I'm not saying men shouldn't do that, but I saw nothing that underlined his masculinity, but various things that undermined what masculinity is stereotyped to be. 5 - Err, see my summation below. 6 - Yes, sort of. I thought the initial dialogue between E and M when they start sparring was poor. It wasn't so much that I didn't follow it, but that I didn't want to! I've commented in detail in the LBLs, but I thought it was massively maid-and-butler, sounded very fake and forced. I didn't detect anything of the magic system at all. Some passing reference to energy, but otherwise it seemed to be all about hitting things and punching things. Here comes my summary. I know I'm not done the submission yet, but I've read as much as I need to, I think. This is clearly well written. Easy to read. There are emotional hits, and some pretty good surprises. My problem is that I don't really care about any of the characters. I don't care that J is pregnant, and I'm not invested in the relationship between E and J. I enjoy E and M's interaction the most. I can see there is supernatural stuff going, but it's very much in the background and in the past (a past that I have missed out on, and which there are quite a few references to, although I find I'm not really bothered about discovering it). You refer to it as urban fantasy, but I'm seeing very little of what I think that to be: not enough to keep me reading. I read through it quite happily, but it never grabbed me, and I would just as happily put it down and never pick it up again. I just don't think it's my kind of thing, but thanks for sharing!

Heh, you want more opinions? Well, let me just reach into this here big sack... I would go along with your assessment of R's personality in Seeds (I think), in that he had character traits being quick to judge (I thought) and quite bullish, tendency to fly off the handle, judge a book by its cover, and to be outspoken. From recollection though, he was pretty dependable and reliable as a friend. I recall him and S being pretty comfortable, but that he also was friendly with I. I don't really remember his view of E all that well. I thought he diverged from my image of him in this chapter in one fairly major aspect. I can see him getting riled about the A and the LC, and I can believe him taking a contrary view of what the LC might stand for. The thing that bothered me was that he was willing to 'sell' E out for I. Even if a logical part of the brain says that's a good idea, I would think the old moral compass would be spinning like billy-o, to the effect of 'This ain't correct. Two wrongs don't make a right. Etc. I'm not saying he would like it, but I just thought it would be a step too far for him. All this said, I haven't read the final version of Seeds (yet), so maybe it plays out differently than I remember, or emphasises things or falls heavier on certain individuals. I just imagined R remaining loyal to the group, and to the ideals, not ready to sell all that out, when he could surely see it would leave them broken as a group. That'll be 5c

Bah, sorry. I think my COMMAND key is on the blink. Didn't mean to post what was a bunch of copied line headers before I edited it to this apology!