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Unintelligenius

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Everything posted by Unintelligenius

  1. Unintelligenius
    Jerome takes the Sandwich, and then I turn off the sun because it's too bright, and now everyone is in total darkness.
  2. Unintelligenius
    I dropkick Bartholomew to Mars. Then Jerome and I steal the Sandwich by going to Redacted and using a redacted to get the Sandwich.
  3. Unintelligenius
    I nuke the hidie hole and then go off to find my pet monkey Jerome so that we can go steal the Sandwich.
  4. Unintelligenius
    I decide to take a vacation because I'm so tired of all this Sandwich hunting. I happen to go to the same place as you, and when I see you, my hunger for the Sandwich is rekindled. I pay you 40 million and 1 BEU's for the Sandwich, then fly off to Neptune.
  5. Unintelligenius
    I steal the Sandwich's investiture, uninvesting it, and making it no longer a sandwichspren nor a splinter. I then steal the Sandwich and meander away.
  6. Unintelligenius
  7. Unintelligenius
    I reincarnate The Dog, rename him My Dog, then buy a saddle and sit on his back as he gallops into space after the Sandwich.
  8. Unintelligenius
    Evan hadn't expected the Murr to rush him as he had. As the shield crashed into him, he felt a spike of pain, but had just enough time to drop his remaining tomahawk and grab the top two corners of the shield. He landed with a thud and held on for dear life, hoping the shield would protect him from any other weapons Murr had and also that it would leave Murr's back defenseless for Aerol to attack. @Through The Living Glass
  9. Unintelligenius
    I shoot a nuke at Saturn's ring and blow up I and his picnic. The Sandwich flies off into space.
  10. Unintelligenius
    While you're off controlling a rebellion, I hire a couple of Steel Inquisitors to steal the Sandwich from you.
  11. Unintelligenius
    Evan stalked closer as he held up his remaining tomahawk in a threatening stance. "You ready for this?", he thought to Aerol, glancing at her to make sure they could coordinate their attacks. @The Bookwyrm
  12. Unintelligenius
    Evan glanced at where the rock had been thrown and narrowed his eyes. Now that he was looking extra carefully, he could make out the faint shape of what seemed to be a shield. Gotta make sure, he thought as he flung one of his tomahawks at the shield. Now that they were this close, if that really was a tribute, he would only need one for the close-quarter fighting. @The Aspiring Archivist @Through The Living Glass
  13. Unintelligenius
    I just grab the safe that the Sandwich is in and run to the middle of Alaska.
  14. Unintelligenius
    I take the Sandwich while everyone is distracted by the duel preparations.
  15. Unintelligenius
    I unbackup the code so that no new safes ever appear.
  16. Unintelligenius
    I hunt you down and steal the Sandwich with a fork.
  17. Unintelligenius
    Whilst answering said question, I decode the secret message and learn the secrets of the universe. With my newfound knowledge, I undo all code that makes any safes appear around the Sandwich, and then I take it for myself.
  18. Unintelligenius
    I summon my megahonorblade, which is all of the combined into one super sword, and slice through reality with it. I reach into the slit of reality and pull out the Sandwich. Then I close the slit and lash myself up with as many lashings as I possibly can.
  19. Unintelligenius
    I rescue the original Sandwich from you by dropping a refrigerator on your head.
  20. Unintelligenius
    I snap my fingers to combine all the timelines into just one. From the time warping, everyone is stunned for ten minutes except me, because I performed the time warp. I grab the Sandwich and go to a certain hidey hole to hide.
  21. Unintelligenius
    Evan jumped, startled by the mysterious voice. He doubled down his search through the nearby foliage because frankly, he didn't want to get eaten. Evan thought he saw something reflective in the bushes at the edge of the clearing. "Do you see that?" he thought to Aerol, pointing to what seemed to be some piece of metal standing upright in the nearby bushes. @Through The Living Glass
  22. Unintelligenius
    I walk up to you and grab the Sandwich. I then summon a Dr. Strange portal and teleport to Mt. Everest.
  23. Unintelligenius
    I throw the safe in the furnace, which promptly melts at 1220.58°F, and then grab the Sandwich and run.
  24. Unintelligenius
    You keep flying into the sunset until you hit the sun and burn up. The Sandwich is shot back to Earth by a heat pulse from the sun and it lands in the middle of the Sahara desert, demolishing and making a crater of everything within a hundred miles.
  25. Unintelligenius
    Batholomew's hopes of that being the last safe are short-lived after I throw one off a building, and it lands on his head. I jump off and land perfectly fine, thanks to my handy squirrel suit, then pick up the Sandwich and drive off.
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