kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

So I've been working on a character outline for Mira, and it's been really enjoyable! BUT I HATE SIDE PROFILES I SWEAR THEY'RE THE WORST! 

Anyway I'll post it ASAP!

So. I was roleplaying with a friend with my mute character (that's why the dialogue is italicized) and their sign-language-familiar character and this was funny  

I thought Hera asked about it. He said he didn’t know. Speaking of, what did she do to her hand?

Accidentally cut it trying to get free of the net.

Is it bad?

I think it’s bad enough.

I don’t know what that means.

It’s not good, definitely. I don’t think it’s too bad, though.

She’s not gonna let anyone help her, I doubt. And she’ll probably climb on it. He shook his head. She’s crossed the fine line that separates bravery and stupidity.

Does she do that often?

Oh yeah. All the time.

My cat

Is eating

My hair

I place my hands on the table, my posture rigid as I study the patchwork map that rests on it, made from scraps of half-mapped parchment, shreds of finished charts from cartographers, even chunks out of tapestries–anything I could scrape together.

My small, cobbled cavern is dimly lit, though it seems even more so to my eyes as my hood hangs low over my face, blocking the flickering light from coming nearer–almost like a warning.

Danger.

Monster.

Don’t come close.

I trace my fingers over routes that have been drawn in and scribbled out tens–maybe hundreds–of times. Through Tilane, Mynda, Deathhold Gate, Prismora… the icy Crothan Sea…

Lifting my gaze, I let my mind drift as I stare into a drawing of a face I used to trust.

Dangerous.

Monsterous.

A face to kill.

The face I used to love.

The face that killed my brother–the face that will no longer blink or breathe because of what I will do to it. But even now, with all the pieces… why do I hesitate? I tap my fingers against the Relkan-made table, beckoning the answer to come.

Something itches at the back of my mind. It almost seems to whisper to me–assuring me–that I am what I’m terrified to become, that if I kill him, I really will be a murderer. A monster.

The word itself resonates dangerously, settling too comfortably among other terms that have been used to describe me in the past. 

Determined. Hardworking. Stubborn. Monster. 

I shove the map higher up on the table, bending and wrinkling it in the process, and grab a handful of crudely cut, unfinished pencils. Taking a sheet of parchment from one of the drawers built into the wall, I scribble down my puzzle pieces, making sure every detail is there so I know what I’m dealing with before I can create a feasible plan.

Sometimes I really hate being so good at strategy. It makes anyone too easy to catch; too helpless, like a cornered piglet. …Or something. I shake my head, smiling slightly in spite of myself. I’m bad at metaphors.

This is a scene from my book.

If y'all can draw the connection, bravo.

Good luck!

So despite last night's breakdown, today was actually a surprisingly good day : )

Though I did have to go to the orthodontist, and it felt like the lady was ripping my tooth out :\ 

I only went to school the second half of the day (due to ortho), which consists of my two favorite periods, as well as two meh ones, but it was okay! I guess my brain is just so overloaded and in shock that it's ignoring last night's revelations--HAHAHAHA THE POWER OF THE HUMAN BRAIN IS INCREDIBLE 

Okay I'm gonna go eat chocolate now  

My life has now changed forever and I'm glad I get to skip half of school tomorrow. I just can't.

I'm gonna write a novel based on my life during 2022-2023. I'm gonna call it something like "One Teen With Ripped Jeans" and if there's a sequel (I've talked to some of my friends about doing one on their 2022-2023 and those would be the sequels) it would be "Two Teens With Ripped Jeans", "Three Teens ..." and so forth. 

Anyway, here's a raw draft of Chapter One. I know it's absolute rubbish, but you've gotta actually write to improve, right? lmho:

PREFACE:

If you'd told me that the day I turned thirteen would mark the start of the year that turned everything upside down, I would have laughed and labeled you "crazy".

I mean, I was going to finally be a teenager! This was the year every kid waited for their whole lives. How bad could it possibly be?

ONE:

Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Well... it could be pretty bad. But I didn't know that now. 

Swinging my legs off the bed, I threw back the covers and bolted for the closet.

Today was the day! It was the third day of show choir summer camp, and I was excited. No, I was more than excited. I was ecstatic. Our show was almost halfway done! Sure, I'd been nonstop dreaming about the long, hot, sweaty choreography sessions that we all just wanted to get away from, and I was beginning to lose my voice. But our show was So. Cool.

Aaaand... today would be the day I found out if I got the duet in our ballad. 

Rifling through my shirts, I finally found the one I'd been looking for. It was a cheesy math joke that my mom thought was funny--well... I'd maybe liked it, too. I was kind of a nerd.

"√169 YEARS OLD", it read. The square root of 169 is 13. So anyone who knew how to math would know that today was my 13th birthday.

Grinning, I changed into the shirt and a pair of black leggings, along with a cardigan that looked like something an elderly lady would wear--it was Senior Day at camp. Yesterday was Crazy Day, and before that was Hawaiian Day. 

Aaaaaaaaand I'm done writing for now. I know that this is flotsam and jetsam, but.... *shrugs*

Alright. I'm creating a poll. Vote on your favorite character. I have thirty-five days to write a masterpiece to win a writing contest:

Katniss (Hunger Games)

Enna (Bayern)

Maisie (Faceless)

Someone from Harry Potter

*brain goes blank*

uhhhhhhhhhh

Yeah no I can't think of any other book characters

*slams head against keyboard*

adkkkkkklsadkfjrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Maybe it's good that I can't think of a lot? ANYWAY VOTE ON THOSE CHARACTERS PLEASE! THANKS!

Oh man, guys. I...

*scoffs*

So. I guess I'll start about six weeks ago. We stopped going to church consistently--we'd go some weeks, skip others, just go to second hour... and eventually it was just me and my sister still going. I just got sustained as the YW secretary yesterday. And then last night happened.

*groan-sighs*

So apparently my mom has had what people call a "faith crisis" for like twelve years now, which is pretty dang close to my whole life. Um. Basically, we're kinda separating from the Church. Details may follow.

Basically my parents sat us down last night and told us that they have issues with the organization and the history and that if we still want to go they'll take us but that they don't feel like they're in a place that they can go and idk if I want to after some of the stuff we talked about. And since that conversation, my anxiety has shot through the ceiling.

That's it.

Okay, this a cappella group is absolutely insane. Enjoy. 

https://team1sports.com/johnston/?bfplayvid=487205 

Our show starts at minute 29:30. I don't know if this video will expire or what, but yeah! Enjoy!!!

We CLEANED UP at that comp.

We got Outstanding Vocals, Outstanding Band, Outstanding Instrumentalist, and we beat our arch rivals and won first place.

Our JV group also won first in their division!!!!!!

Anyway, I'm going to somehow attach our show if you wanna watch it (it's about 17 minutes long). 

I won't tell you which person I am, but if you can crack this congrats. Look at people's shoes--you'll get a glimpse of mine during Warning Signs and Coffee in a Cardboard Cup. And remember about ankle issues. If you can figure out which person I am, GOOD JOB AND YOU WIN!

Now to go through the hassle of figuring out how to get this video... hmm....

IT'S COMPETITION DAY!!!!

I really hope we win. I'll update y'all as soon as I get home (which will probably be around 1-2 AM lmbo)

Anyway, I should pay attention to class so I don't get in trouble : )

Bye!

Hey guysssss

So I have a show choir competition tomorrow, right? I keep having dreams where I forget to put the curlers in my hair overnight and I forget about the comp and then I don’t have my show choir bag so I don’t have my makeup and I’m like two hours late and it was awful 

So last night I had that dream twice and the second time, security starting sweeping the building after our performance (which I missed) and were like “there’s stragglers!” And Chara and I fled out the back and started sprinting up the hill while scream-singing “how far I’ll go” and then at the top of the hill was my sister and her friend and they started singing the soprano part and the baritone part and we were by a road and this person in a car started talking to us and we all got creeped out so we got in our own car (?) and started driving away (?) but no matter how far away we got, her voice never faded and then later she kept popping up on Instagram and TikTok and it was so creepy

Anyway it was a super weird dream 

I only have a few more pieces to set in place in my plot! I'm so close and it's such a tease xD 

Anyway, WISH ME LUCK!

Me and my bestie sneaking into the Celestial Kingdom:

It's officially a snow day, y'all!

Though... my school has implemented "E-Learning Days" so that on snow days we don't ever get the day completely off. We have to do some work through Google Classroom and whatnot. It should only take a few hours, though!

It hasn't even started snowing--haha. It's supposed to get pretty heavy around noon and evening, and our superintendent didn't want us to walk or drive home in the storm. We'll see how it pans out. 

Sometimes I struggle to remember that sketchbooks are for making mistakes.

Hazard of being a perfectionist, I suppose.

Six minutes left of school. Got all my homework done. Getting ready for show choir sectionals till four--and hopefully a snow day tomorrow and Thursday! 

We had school off yesterday, but Mr. Firkins (my choir director) had us come in from 1-3:30 to practice--we've had eight hour rehearsals before, yet I've never been this sore from show choir. *P To be fair, we were working a lot with levels and things, but it was very draining.  

I finished my cake last night and it was kinda dry but overall it was good! I'm proud of it and I'm gonna have some after I get home : ) 

Today's been a really good day so far!

That's all!

Welp. It's 10:30 on a Sunday night and I'm up baking a cake. A two layer cake that has two flavors. The vanilla batter had lumps but the recipe said it would so I wasn't gonna stress about it. But now it's taking forever to bake. The chocolate batter was literally like a soup. This frosting is taking DAYS to mix. 

Okay, FINALLY, the frosting finished. Took long enough xD. And chasms, it's----------- wow, that was so worth it  Here's the recipe because my gosh https://chelsweets.com/not-too-sweet-buttercream-frosting/

The vanilla cake finally came out of the oven! Yay!

We didn't go to church today because my mom and I are both not feeling great, so instead we watched The Chosen and I did another painting of Mira Dethridge, my OC and Harlow's villain mastermind.

We also watched The Pink Panther 2. It was great.

Overall, today was good! No anxiety or panic attacks or any of that, and I figured out some more of Mando's Theme for piano (I learned some of it off YouTube and now I'm finishing it on my own by ear because I'm too lazy to actually find the video again xD)

It was a good day!

Anyway, here's the portrait of

M alicious

I nsatiable

R uthless

A utocratic antagonist

Alright. I did a rough piece today for Tia. Her posture's stiff and her face needs way more detail etc, but this is the rough piece I completed today.