kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ
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Everything posted by kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ
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Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Curious Anamaximder's topic in General Discussion
Hey, Witless. That’s pretty rough. And those thoughts really are so so scary—I’ve lately had a few myself. I haven’t, say, considered it, but I get how terrifying those feelings are. I also get the struggling with the LDS church thing—not for the same reasons, but I also get that struggling with religion is pretty difficult. I really do hate how some members of the church treat the LGBTQ+ community. That’s one of the problems my family has with the LDS religion/standards/etc. I hope you can find peace, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I will try my best to help out. And I think I’m pretty good at not judging people, so I’ll throw that out too. Is there anything you want us to do? -
So many people tell me what I can be
And from a young age, immediately I knew
Exactly what I wanted to doOut there a dream is waiting to be achieved
Out there for someone, maybe all preconceived
Who knows, just how this journey goesBut I - I know that I'm not the only one that's climbing
As high, to beThe one they call on the stage
Finally in the light
Who's been chasing this day
Where things all lock in right
Still I look around me
Everyone fighting for a sign
But someday I will break from the lineI really try to stay away from the blues
This path is hard, but it's the one that I choose
So there - life isn't easy anywhereAll this power in other hands
I'm not the only one who understands this ride
Filled with passion I just can't hideSo I - I know that I'm not the only one that's aiming
To fly through the sky and beThe one they call on the stage
Finally in the light
Who's been chasing this day
Where things all lock in right
Still I look around me
Everyone struggling to shine
But someday I will break from the lineI have to, I need to
Keep trying 'til I'm there
And fine I get it
It's not always fairBut it'll be me they call on the stage
Finally in the light
Who's been chasing this day
Where things all lock in right
So now it's time to believe
Now it's time to believe
One day I will receive
That one big break
My break from the lineBreak from the Line by Joey Contreras -
Oh I forgot to post this in my SU :P
So here is the Wizardess:
I drew her yesterday and I think it took around 45 minutes? An hour? Something like that.
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Today's a good day!
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Sooooooooooooo...
I should be doing homework, but.... I just.... I really don't want to. And that seems to be a common thing lately.
In the mornings, I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to do my homework. The only reason I'm keeping my grades up is because it looks good on a resume and I don't want to be interrogated by my parents because wouldn't that mean they only care when my grades slip? Or are they just that oblivious? Am I sulking? Am I wallowing?
I don't want to be at show choir rehearsal, even though I love the people and the group and the show more than anything--they're a family to me, and yet I don't want to be around them. I don't want to go to church anymore after my parents have cut ties, but that's hard because most of my friends are Mormon and I was just called to be the YW secretary, but I don't want to talk to the bishop to release me. I don't want to talk to anyone about the church that's a member for fear of complicatedness and me slipping and saying stuff I'm not supposed to. I'm never hungry. I receive texts that I never respond to because I don't want to talk to that person right then--and even if it's a person I love, I just... stare at the text and clear the notification and go back to sitting on the floor and staring out the window. I'm in a club I don't want to be in and I have to make a video I don't want to make; it's already past its deadline. I don't even want to be around my family and I don't know why--except for my dad. I always want to be around my dad. Am I a bad person for favoring my dad over the rest of my family? Is it evil that if my parents got divorced for some reason, I'd go live with my dad without a second thought?
I feel dejected by a lot of people around me. The dance last night was okay, but I couldn't stop thinking about this stupid boy who still somehow has my heart no matter how much I try to take it back! UGH! Even after he friendzoned me (not very well, mind you), even after he's started to ignore me, why do I still like him? It's not fair!
There's one girl in a club I'm in that makes me really, REALLY mad. Like... really mad. Whenever I say something I'm excited about or is big news or whatever, she immediately shuts it down with her own thing! For example, the other day I was talking about how we won the biggest competition of the year, and what a big deal it was, and she was like, "Oh, I looked out the window the other day and this cloud looked like SpongeBob." See where my "Nobody Listens" Breathless Poem came from?! Why can't I just be excited for once? Why can't she just let me tell my friends about a victory I had in a life where I feel I have very little of those? Am I a bad person for hating her?
My friends: "What college are you going to?"
"I don't think I'm going to college."
"But you love school."
Do I? Do I really? Or am I just a good student because the teachers deserve it?
Am I a bad person for feeling like this? Why do I feel like this? Am I broken? Defective?
I should go do my homework now, since there's too much to do in the time I have. At least we only have Monday and Tuesday this week and the rest is off.
I'm burnt out. I'm done. I just want to stare out the window wrapped in a blanket and get lost in my own world where my heart doesn't belong to people who don't deserve it, where I'm listened to and cared about, where I can escape when I have a panic attack because people acknowledge that it's a real thing for me.
I feel like this should have some sort of closing sentence, but I don't want to think of one. So I won't.
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Y'all.
Y'all!
Y'all!!!
We. Did. It.
We broke their seven-year streak and crossed the line.
WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M
SO
SCUDDING
HAPPY
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Thanks everybody!
QuoteYay!
Though why duid you post this around midnight? :3
@The Wandering Wizard, cuz awards started at like 10 and went till probably 10:30, then we celebrated until 11ish and then drove home. Competitions generally last a while :| (I went to bed half past midnight lol
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POV: You're in English class, and you're supposed to be revising a very important District Assessment essay. But you're way too tired and your brain doesn't want to work, so you've instead decided to scroll through the Shard's top members for most status updates out of sheer curiosity.
And then your teacher walks behind you.
So you frantically switch tabs, trying to get back to your essay, but the tab you click on just so happens to be your roleplay document where there's currently some sort-of-spicy romance happening, and you shoot a panicked glance your teacher's way to see if she noticed, while still trying to find the right tab.
And she's staring at you.
Your heart rate triples.
Did she notice? Did she see your screen? Is she gonna look through your roleplay document? Is she gonna ban the Shard?!
And then she cocks an eyebrow, pauses, and keeps walking the room.
Eek.
That. Was. Close. And frankly very terrifying.
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I'll Turn Your Ideas Into Music!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Shining Silhouette's topic in Creator's Corner
I'm speechless. This is absolutely incredible and I'm in such awe!!! Thank you so much--this is so beautiful <3333 -
I'm just tired. I seem to always be tired.
We have a competition tomorrow! So I'm excited for that. Wish us luck!
Apparently I get to do highlights or hair dye/color etc. with my haircut on Saturday... only problem now is to figure out what I want. Hahaha.
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Heh heh heh--
Oh. 400 rep. Thanks, guys!
Anyway, back to what I was saying.
I had to write the ending to a short story for English, and I wanted to share it with you guys, so... here it is!
Spoiler“The Chaser” Ending
Directions: After reading “The Chaser” by John Collier, write the ending. What happens after the protagonist, Alan Austen, leaves the potion shop with his love potion? Your continuation must have a clear ending (no cliffhangers).
Alan smoothed his thumb over the ice-cold glass. The Shirley Temple inside swirled, mixing with the potion. All he had to do was give it to Diana. But would she accept it? Would she drink it? Or would she chase him away?
He rubbed his clammy hands on his jeans to get rid of the perspiration and moved toward the center of the party, pushing through the cluster of pretty, popular people who made you hate your life and want one more like theirs. The models. The influencers. The heartbreakers.
And before he knew it, he was standing right behind her. Her long black hair dyed silver at the ends fell to her perfectly slim waist and swayed softly as she moved to the music. He gulped, his heart racing. They’d been friends forever, and the old man had promised that the love potion would work. But he was still terrified.
“Hey, Di,” he called, plastering on a smile he hoped didn’t look queasy.
She spun around, her blue eyes sparkling with reflected light. “Hey, Alan! What’s up?”
“Got you a drink,” he told her, offering the drink.
“Aw, you’re the sweetest,” she replied, taking the cup and taking a sip.
Yes. Yes. Drink it. “What do you think of this party? Crazy, huh?”
“Yeah, for sure. Food’s incredible, though.” She sipped from the glass again. “Wow, what’s in this?”
“Dunno. It’s a Shirley Temple, Di.”
“A what? I thought it was a fruit punch or something.”
“You’ve never had a Shirley Temple before?”
She shook her head and downed the rest, leaving the empty glass on a nearby table.
“Wow. I guess you’ve never really lived before, then.”
She laughed. “First time for everything though, right?”
Alan nodded in agreement. “Yeah.” Come on, Di. This is your chance. Say something cheesy, like “Including kissing you!”. Make a move! This is your chance, Diana!
She didn’t do anything.
Instead, a friend shouted her name from across the room. “Hey, sorry, Al. Soph’s calling.” She shot him an apologetic smile and bounced off to talk to Sophie Ingler, one of her best friends.
Alan’s shoulders slumped, and his heart shuddered. I should have known I couldn’t buy love for a dollar. I should have known.
He turned to walk away but caught Diana’s gaze before he could leave the party. Her eyes begged him to stay. So he did, wandering the sidelines, secretly hoping she’d come and find him, tell him she loved him, kiss him. He tried to count the times that Di shot him glances, but he lost count at twenty-something-or-other.
Maybe the potion was working. Maybe it was just going to take some time.
* * *
Oh, the potion had worked all right. Too well.
Alan had tried to break up with her, tried to reason with her, tried to tell her that it just wasn’t going to work anymore. He’d tried So. Many. Times.
And it never worked.
So, after he’d had enough, he made his way up a certain creaky staircase, hesitating on the landing before knocking on the same door he’d come to three years ago. His hand closed around the cash in his pocket.
The door squealed open and the old man’s eyes widened with recognition. “Alan Austen! Come in, boy, come in.”
A shiver clawed its way down Alan’s spine as he stepped into the potion shop. It looked the exact same as it had the last time he’d been there, almost as if he’d slipped into a memory.
The money seemed through Alan’s pocket, or maybe the old man could see right through the fabric.
He raised a thin, scraggly eyebrow. “Five thousand–the glove cleaner? Is that what you’re here for?”
Alan gulped. “Well… no.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I want a reverse. To the love potion.”
“Ah. Good thing you brought that sum, boy, because the reverse is just as expensive as that life cleaner. Five thousand whole, beautiful dollars. Is she really worth giving up?”
Alan nodded. “It’s just… it’s not real. And she’s too possessive. She can’t hear me and she doesn’t know how to let me go.”
“Well, boy, if that’s what you want, here you are.” The man handed Alan a very small vial and took the five thousand dollars.
Later that day, Alan slipped the cure into Diana’s lunch.
And the next day, Diana Rushheart was dead.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
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What the hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I can't find a post I made
Unless... unless it was a reply to someone else's SU
And who is rep-spamming me
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Quote
True, but it could have been in one as an explanation.
But I would have just done it in our Google Doc or our text thread
QuoteWhat are you looking for?
I'm looking for a post I made (I've decided that it was definitely a response to somebody's SU) about my novel that I'm writing... the SU had to do with fantasy or villains
Wait I think it was maybe a response to one of Fadran's
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@The Wandering Wizard Nope just checked here
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Hmm. So. It's 9PM, once again. And, once again, I told myself I'd get to bed early tonight.
And I still have to multiply some polynomials and resist the urge to dig back into a book (it ate me alive last night until midnight and then my dad came into my room and I was like
... "you didn't see this" and turned out the light lmho)
And, once again, I'm on the Shard and roleplaying with Haly on our Google Doc. How productive. Hahaha.
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I'll Turn Your Ideas Into Music!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Shining Silhouette's topic in Creator's Corner
(Okay, I'm totally dramatic, but bear with this prompt. It's totally not based on my novel *cough cough* AND SORRY IT'S SO DETAILED you don't have to do all of it) "You're a castaway princess turned bounty hunter after your older brother was murdered by the person you most trusted. On your journey to find lost friends, you stumble upon ruins of a town, still smoking, burning, crumbling. There's something bigger out there, and you realize you may be the only one with the knowledge and capability to fight it. Will you turn back and risk your life to warn your people who hate you of the threat, or will you stand by, keeping your own life out of more trouble, and watch everything and everyone you loved burn?" If you like, here are some images to go along with the prompt just cuz -
Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Curious Anamaximder's topic in General Discussion
I will say that I've felt this way before about bringing up my anxiety. And Archie, you're worthy, whatever that means to you. Ie: it's worth affecting the people that love you, because it will help them help you. -
Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Curious Anamaximder's topic in General Discussion
Hmm. Well... I definitely think it's worth bringing up. Especially if it's affecting you this much (sorry, I know, overused--I'm at a bit of a loss for a better way to phrase it). If they'll listen, bring it up. Doesn't matter how insignificant it seems. -
Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Curious Anamaximder's topic in General Discussion
Hmm--which metaphor? My Breathless Poem? *nods* So it's more a matter of finding your voice, then? -
I’m tired. That’s all.
Oh, also, I just got a new ankle brace, an injection of steroids, and I have this anti-inflammatory med I have to take now.
And I wrote a Breathless Poem for Haly about her three solid steps. That’s about it.- Show previous comments 12 more
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*jumps*
"AAH!" *whacks Wiz over the head with my hardcover Stellarlune*
I've actually never read the books, just watched the movies
The thing that I love most about it is the completely different direction the movies took from the books.
The only similar thing they kept is the name hiccup, his dragon's name of toothless, and his father's name. And also viking and dragons.
Dragon is coming when it gets uploaded
...
It's not uploading.
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Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Curious Anamaximder's topic in General Discussion
Thank you so much. I’m relieved to know that people care, even if they’re not the ones whose attention and recognition I seek most. Isn’t it so strange How people you’ve never met Strangers Can seem to care more Listen to your cries Coax the ache away More than the ones you love the most? Hey, Archie? First off, don’t do that—saying it’s not a big deal. Panic attacks are just as important as nervous meltdowns and Breathless Poems and depression. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It seems you’re in your own one-way, soundproof glass box right now—or maybe we’re in the same one, and we just have to figure out how to break out together. Just know that we’ll always be here for you. If you need someone to talk to, PM me and I’ll respond ASAP, because we care about you so much. <3 -
Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Curious Anamaximder's topic in General Discussion
I'll have to check it out when I finish my homework. Thanks. Yeah. Thank you. I couldn't smash everything into that little poem-that-doesn't-rhyme-thing, but... yeah. -
Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Curious Anamaximder's topic in General Discussion
I really appreciate this, especially with the detasseling terms since it's so relatable. Thank you. I wish those little words meant more and I could say more, but for now all I've got is thank you. -
Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ replied to Curious Anamaximder's topic in General Discussion
This one-way glass box I’m trapped in It’s soundproof, too Nobody can hear and nobody cares I’ve always been the runt, but this is worse Because I’m stuck with no way out, and nobody can hear me cry I bet they don’t even miss me, don’t even notice I’m gone They never listened anyway, and they’re saying things they wouldn’t if they knew I was here Everyone wants to be popular until they are, Made glass because of the things you have to say to satisfy them, transparent as a window And you drift through life without a purpose In and out, what’s the purpose of anything anymore I don’t even have an appetite–nothing tastes good when you don’t want to eat My sister’s crying about a hole in her favorite sock I have a hole in my soul–will you buy me a new one too? One that looks just like the old one so nobody would know it was ever damaged Not that they would care Not that they see the cracks in my glass figure Maybe if I wear enough makeup, if I tell enough lies, I’ll look pretty enough or be dirty enough to cover up my cracks so I’ll forget them So I can pretend they never existed and I’d be able to escape this box Without shattering myself on the way People say you don't know what you have until you’ve lost it Does that mean if I left, they’d finally care? But then what would be the point if I wasn’t there for them to hear me, for them to listen That’s why fantasy is fiction and fiction is fake Nothing's ever perfect, and that's the problem Maybe if I pretend the glass isn’t there, try to see through it, it’ll disappear But what’s the point if you can see through glass anyway? And wouldn’t that make my glass self disappear? Somebody inject me with steroids so I can become strong enough to break out of this box Someone help me out now before I do something reckless, Something stupid. Somebody help since they won't. -
@SymphonianBookworm, Thanks for the follow!
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Hahahaha
Oh, really? Good to know, @Cinnamon. Thanks.
Also, apologies, haha. -
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I know I just posted a status update like 15 minutes ago BUT this came up in my Honors English homework and I HAVE TO STAND UP FOR MY FELLOW WOMENS
*cries*
somebody finally sees our problem, finally
*cries harder*
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I got complimented on my tone in choir today :D
We were working on a crescendo and I kinda killed it
My choir director looked at me and was like, "Oooh, nice tone, alto over there!" and pointed at me, and inside, I was like "YESSSS"
(Yes he knows our names but sometimes he just doesn't care to use them bahahahahaha)We had a test on moon phases in Science today, and we're working on polynomials in Algebra class. The school ACTUALLY had french fries today, which made me happy. I apparently missed a lot in History, but I'll just ask my teacher about it tomorrow :P
My cats are adorable
Got the biggest show choir comp of the season on Friday
I'm going to a stake dance on Saturday after I get my hair cut (EEK! It's almost waist-length and I'm gonna go collarbone-shoulderish with like layers ig, though prolly not bangs cuz idk)
I've got an ankle appointment tomorrow!
Life's pretty decent right now!
Anyway, now that I've word vomited, I should go actually be productive and do homework or something. See y'all later!
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I was about to ask what your area is, and then I realized how stalker-y that sounds so…sorry I don’t know sharders in my area either.
Actually thinking about it I think I know two
I'm in NY
QuoteWho knows? Maybe just a lot of people in NE like Sanderson
I read this as North-East and was about to argue with you cause I know no non-family sanderfans irl
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