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InfiniteInsanity

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  1. InfiniteInsanity
    Let's say that there was an experience involving a friend a few years ago that caused some definite anxiety issues last year and so you had some therapy for it last year and it got better. But then a new thing happened this year with people you don't even know. And now these anxiety issues are starting to come back but less extreme and only when you run into this person without any prior notice that they would be there. And those sort of accidental run-ins aren't anything that can be avoided so.... Like what are you supposed to do? Because you don't want to do anything that could be taken as rude or mean but you're worried you might accidentally due to said anxiety issues.
  2. InfiniteInsanity

    Pumpkin Pecan Cookies.

    They're really really really good. And I want more.

    ....but Bookwyrm won't let me have more. And I don't know anyone who will help me get more.

    And I feel rather nauseous and my stomach is in pain. 

    1. Show previous comments  27 more
    2. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      Me too tis most sad :((

    3. Through the Living Hope

      Through the Living Hope

      Can we get an f in the chat

    4. Immortal Platypus

      Immortal Platypus

      f

      o7

  3. InfiniteInsanity
    Insa let the warmth of the embrace and Bookwyrm's words to wash over her. It all felt right. Being there in the clinic. Choosing to stay. And there was no one making her doubt it all. "Thank you. For noticing. For saving me from her. For everything."
  4. InfiniteInsanity
    I have a question for all the people. Not just the females, the others who have invaded can answer this too. You don't have to answer either. I'm just kind of curious. If you have an insecurity about your physical appearance what actually led to that insecurity? Like what started it? That question might not make any sense....
  5. InfiniteInsanity
    How is all the peoples doing?
  6. InfiniteInsanity
    D&C 25: 4, 10 I like that whole section. Its my favorite.
  7. InfiniteInsanity
    Oh, so I'm the bad guy? I'm not the one whose put ideas that have put her in danger in her head. I've never done anything like that. If anything I've done the opposite, tried to convince her to ignore all those ideas. You all are the ones who are hurting her. Everytime someone turns, or leaves, or she has to face one of you she hurts more than anything I could do to her. It scares her too. That's not something you can stop. Just because you stopped Kaos doesn't mean there won't be other beings who want to turn you against each other. I'm trying to protect her from that pain. She's been through enough don't you think? "A little bit lighter." Insa frowned, "But if... you cut off my connection to her... and my ability to do all the storm stuff comes from her... what will that mean?"
  8. InfiniteInsanity
    ... What did you do!? "How... How did you know?"
  9. InfiniteInsanity
    I just had a really bad panic attack and breakdown because I looked down and there was a decent sized bruise and some swelling on my non previously dead knee. And every time something happened to my previously dead knee that was one of the first questions asked, "Is there any bruising or swelling?". So yeah I freaked out. Like a lot. But I talked to my parents and now we're pretty sure that its just a regular bruise from guard and the swelling came because bruise. But I'm struggling to stop freaking out. Like I'm near tears and I was crying a little bit ago. I can't seem to breathe right and I'm really tired and just want to go to bed but I don't want to wake up and want to cry. Or be panicked when I wake up. I don't know what to do.
  10. InfiniteInsanity
    This is probably forgotten but for me its this. Both color guard and show choir are classes for me and I need water for those I also need water after and during choir and band Water helps cramps Cramps are stupid and may strike at quite literally any moment School water tastes horrible and I prefer the water I get from my house ...so what's going on?
  11. InfiniteInsanity
    Hi!!!!!!!!!! How is all the peoples doing?
  12. InfiniteInsanity
    When any of y'all were younger did you build forts or tents to watch general conference in? Because then you could pretend like you were the Nephites going to listen to King Mosiah? Or is that just a thing that my family did and still does for my younger siblings?
  13. InfiniteInsanity
    I imagine you as average height with blue eye and dark dark black hair. I'm not very descriptive sorry. I'm once again curious of how people imagine me.
  14. InfiniteInsanity
    What's going on?
  15. InfiniteInsanity

    Happy Birthday!!!!!

    1. That1Cellist

      That1Cellist

      Thanks a lot!

  16. InfiniteInsanity

    How are people so good at doing simple things that make you feel so incredibly unsafe?

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. shortcake

      shortcake

      *hugs* <3

      we love you, Insa!

    3. That1Cellist

      That1Cellist

      *hugs*

    4. Through the Living Hope

      Through the Living Hope

      *hugs* love ya. You can always talk to me

  17. InfiniteInsanity
    The band does pretty well normally. Unfortunately for the guard we can't say the same thing.
  18. InfiniteInsanity
    You've been winning for WAY too long.
  19. InfiniteInsanity
    I haven't put things in this thread for a while.
  20. InfiniteInsanity

    The obvious best way to start your day is having an anxiety attack because you have no phone to help cope with future anxiety attacks. 

    And then we throw a solo that was supposed to be a duet but now its not its a solo and then a duet and you were taking solace in the fact that you wouldn't be the only guard person doing things and you still don't have your phone. 

    And then you get your phone but now the brass are coming in too early and its messing you up a lot. And you're just confused and you can't tell who is messing up you are them.

    But hey! Everyone likes your outfit and sparkly heels (which you definitely shouldn't be wearing but whatever)!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. shortcake

      shortcake

      We love you, Insa! <3

      If you need to talk to someone, you can come talk to me, or you could go to the counselor's office. If you need someone to go with you, I would be happy to help. But it's up to you. <33

    3. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      That's...awful. Marching band and guard are so tough, I don't know how you guys manage to pull it off so well every time. Keep breathing, Insa. You've got this.

    4. Through the Living Hope

      Through the Living Hope

      There was an entire section of woodwinds coming in 16 beats early. This is the transcript of my thoughts as a trombonist:

      Wait, what?

      What's happening?

      Why are they playing four measures early?

      Are they even watching the drum major?

      Hey, Mr. {band teacher's name}, do something! This isn't right!

      And then the line of brass I'm in missed an entire move...

      This morning's rehearsal was just utter chaos. Completely confusing.

  21. InfiniteInsanity
    You can't stop me. I can be a constantly present presence in her mind combat everything you tell her. I can force her hand in so so many ways. She won't listen to you or any of them. She won't have a choice. And there's nothing you can do about it. "You're going to what?"
  22. InfiniteInsanity
    Oh she did. But she can't just forget the past again. I won't let her. She needs to face it. Or it will always come back to haunt her. Besides that the people she loves are here and I can't think of one time in her story so far where the benefits of her staying around people she loves has outweighed the amount of pain caused in the end. Its just better. Better for her. Better for everyone. ...You know you could help me convince her. "You okay?"
  23. InfiniteInsanity
    I want her to go home. And she's refusing. That's about all I know. She probably doesn't like the reason I have for why it's a good decision. But they're valid points. A look of concern spread across Insa's face. "Bookwyrm?"
  24. InfiniteInsanity

    I wrote a thing.

    Spoiler
    Find a wall
    Its too loud
    Since we're too confused
     
    Find a wall
    even if you can't 
    even if you shouldn't
     
    Find a wall
    90 degrees & parallel
    Hold
     
    Muscles shaking
    motivation breaking
    everything shifting 
    out of place
     
    Now drop and hold it
    forearms only
    perfectly aligned
     
    Hold it
    because you deserved it
     
    Hold it
    you don't get the 
    right to complain or tell
     
    Hold it
    even if your body 
    is shifting out of place
     
    Hold it
    because I said so
    Hold it
    until I say you're done
    Hold it
    because you're scared
    Hold it 
    because everyone is
     
    Now take a minute
    get up
    brush it off
    stop the tears
     
    Dance
    like nothing happened
    Dance
    ignore it
    Dance
     
    without a sound
    through the tears
    non-stop pain
    don't you dare
    tell a soul

    There's a story behind this one. If y'all want I'll tell you.

    It'll definitely turn into yet another long rant about it.

    But you know it's okay.

    It's all gonna be okay.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      That was really pretty. It will be okay eventually, even though it isn’t right now.

    3. That1Cellist

      That1Cellist

      Am I permitted to know the story?

    4. InfiniteInsanity

      InfiniteInsanity

      The musical choreographer got mad at us for talking too much during rehearsal and made us do wall sits and planks. Which I shouldn't have been doing but she made me do it anyways. I could feel my knee shifting in and out of place as I was doing them.

      But it's okay cause she got fired for treating us horribly :D

  25. InfiniteInsanity
    Talking to her.
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