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Throw TheLiving Silverware
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Everything posted by Throw TheLiving Silverware
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You are offered a ticket for a single show of any musical artist you want. Who do you go to see? (The ticket is magical, so you can go see inactive or dead artists. Let us not be bound by something as flimsy and weak as reality.) How long did you sleep last night?
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Ducks.
That's all. Ducks.
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...Wow, that's a lot. Wish you all the best for that! I know you can do it! *huuuuugs* -
Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)
Throw TheLiving Silverware replied to killersquirrel59's topic in Forum Games & Random Stuff
Granted. Your boar gets to live in the Matrix. He lives a full boar life in the forest in the span of 5 IRL seconds. Then he is slaughtered for meat. I wish to know where to go. -
Thanks to everyone for playing, and especially to @Araris Valerian for GMing. It was really fun, even if I wasn't really active for a good part of it. Here's some RP to conclude my character's story. I had initially planned for him to overcome his trauma and, after he and the others defeated the elims, find himself able to trust other people again. Yeah, I didn't really think that through. Anyway, I tried to give it some kind of closure, even if it wasn't really what I originally intended. *************************** Junior Junior fell to the ground and took a long breath of fresh morning air. Before him, the House was collapsing, its walls shattering into thousands of pieces. The windows broke, the proud halls fell on themselves, the roofs were torn apart. Then, silence fell. All he could hear was his breath and Leander's. He felt sick. How had he gone so low, he'd accepted so easily to kill someone so he could get out? He thought again of how he'd actes inside the House, how he'd been able to mutter Aero's name intending to kill her. He didn't understand why she had sacrificed herself for him after this. Why him? Why, out of all the people who had entered, had he survived? Was this the way it worked, that the honorable ones like Aero and Kanem had to die so that wretches like him could live? Why was the price so high to pay? He didn't want to look at Leander's face. He was sure he would only meet in her eyes the same disgust he felt for himself. He didn't know how he could face anyone again after this. So he ran. He ran as fast as he could into the woods. He didn't know where his old cabin was, and he didn't care. There was no way he could stay here. The branches lashed his arms, his legs, his chest. He didn't feel it. His mind was fixated on a single thought: Why would she sacrifice for me?
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Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)
Throw TheLiving Silverware replied to killersquirrel59's topic in Forum Games & Random Stuff
Granted. You go to Belgium and ask for a French fry in French. You never said "a single French fry" but you said "une seule frite" Unfortunately, you're asking this to a Flemish speaker, so he doesn't understand and you don't get anything. I wish for an activity. -
Update on the thing from last SU
The doctors sent me an actual email (not an automatic one).
They are studying my papers. They'll take a few weeks to go through it, but they are working on it.
Turns out if you drop 40-page things in people's mailbox on a Friday at noon, they'll tend to leave it until Monday.
I'm so relieved rn
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Junior Junior ran through the hall. He couldn't believe what had happened to him over the last few days. The House had seemingly forced his companions to turn against each other. He'd been hearing voices in his sleep, saying that only the last two standing could leave. He was sure the others had made the same dreams. He had avoided company even more than usual since a few days, fearful that one of the others might kill him. "Should never have come here", he muttered under his breath. "I knew nothing good would come out of this." His steps had taken him to the room he'd found the other night. On the wall, were traces of gunshots. Probably pretty old. Maybe another bunch of adventurers had been trapped here before, just like them. However, the gun itself was nowhere to be found. He was starting to think another one had picked it up. Maybe even used it on Kirc, Kanem, or the priest. He needed to know who had it He returned to the hall, where the others were waiting for him. They were pressing him to choose who to kill today. But Junior Junior didn't want to kill anyone. He was tired of this evil game the house was playing on them. On the other hand, he also didn't want to die. And so, he muttered a name. "Aero Yee."
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My clue was the gunshot one (shared between S1 and S2). This pretty much deadlocks S2 imo.
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Okay so
For the past two weeks, I've been back home. Since my parents and brothers are working/at school, I've often been alone there.
I've rested, I've read, I've walked. And I've been thinking.
And my thoughts keep coming back to older days. To the ancient times where I left and went into the world, certain that I could face anything that could come.
It was great, for a while. It was hard and intense - that was what I had signed for- but it was great.
And then...
I'm still not sure what happened. Maybe I veered to close to the sun. Maybe it just became too much to handle. Maybe it wasn't sustainable in the first place. All I know is that I broke, at about the worst possible time.
A bit later, I left that place, for my time was due, and I didn't want to stay anyway. I left with way worse results than I could have expected only months before, but it was still something.
I went to that new place. And I tried to wish it all away. I didn't work. I started falling while denying I was falling, and hating me for not being able to wish it all away. I just had to do it, it was nothing compared to before. So why couldn't I?
This lasted for nearly a year and a half. I actually nearly managed to wish away the problems. Then of course, it fell apart. And as things were at their darkest since the initial breakdown, a little nugget of an answer arrived.
I realized I was autistic.
It explained so much. Why I almost never managed to create lasting relations with others, why I sometimes couldn't even talk to others in those years. Why I had so much trouble making myself do something, and then the next minute gladly spend two hours tediously setting up a stupid thing in a video game. Even stuff I'd forgotten about, like the bursts of anger I would often have as a kid whenever something would go wrong ; or my hands always going somewhere, beating to the tune of a song I heard in my head ; or as a kid, how I would have trouble with loud environments.
I started looking for an official diagnosis. Meanwhile, I got the internship I needed to validate the year at the last minute.
Most things that could go wrong during that internship went wrong. Which made the burnout (for I know now it's that) go even worse.
Then, I could finally return home. And I got word from a group of doctors that proposed autism diagnoses. They asked me to fill a 40-page dossier to get started. Questions were often hard to answer, so this took some time. But I finished it, and sent them.
And received an automatic email in response, saying that they were changing their diagnoses protocols. On their site there's a new (I think) section that reads:
SpoilerOver the past two years, we've noticed a huge number of requests from suffering adults who want to know if they are autistic. Unfortunately, these people often have no follow-up and recognize themselves in descriptions of autism, through readings, testimonials and discussions on social networks. Sadly, we have found that adults sometimes seek confirmation of a self-diagnosis, without being able to imagine the possibility that their difficulties can be explained by other disorders. [...] Other disorders such as personality disorders are much more frequent (up to 20% prevalence) and will also have consequences for social interaction.
We now only offer assessments for children, adolescents and adults in [area] who are already being followed up regularly by a psychologist and a psychiatric doctor, who will have first written a letter expressing his or her doubts about diagnostic hypotheses.
(Redacted some stuff for anonymity)
And I'm getting scared. First, because I don't know if this will apply to people who had already started stuff with them. But also because the journey they're describing fits me to a T. And I'm questioning everything now, wondering if I am actually autistic.
And that's so scary. Because if I am not autistic, then all the reconstruction work I started (well, tried to start; the world did its best against it) over the last few months is based on a lie and falls apart. And I'm back in the terrifying realm of "what the hell is happening to me?" where I spent most of the last couple years.
Right now I'm constantly switching between "No you're definitely autistic, you fit so many signs" and "Maybe I'm not, after all I don't have X and Y sign". I will most likely do that for a couple weeks (they should recontact me around November in any case)
And I'm afraid
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Thanks everyone *hugs back all the people*
Yeah I honestly think there's more than just autism here, but I have no idea what (and whether it is a disorder or a temporary/permanent consequence of the recent events)
@J. Magi I feel so much the whole "feeling too functional to be autistic" thing, its also something I keep telling myself
@Through The Living Glass I know a diagnosis wont change who I am, just say something about the way I already work. But that's what I need - explanations on what is happening, because I can't manage all the things anymore, and pretending I can just makes it worse. And I'm not sure what is helping. (I do stim, but I have no idea whether it helps or makes things worse.)
Anyway, can't come back on all the things you said (turns out we all write a lot) but let me say again how grateful I am you're here
You're all amazing and I love you
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU CASH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
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Okay then. I'll vote Elandera. Btw, it's not weird to push people to claim while others are saying we should base the exe on claims, if you are also saying that basing the exe on claims doesn't work. Didn't get anything from exploration, hope you were luckier.
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I'm a bit emotionally drained rn, but I'm promise RP will come... someday... I think his vote might have been bait. He started a successful train on a villager for a RP post. That's not much, but still one of the most suspicious things that happened so far because the activity is low. I must say though that I had written him as suspicious right off the bat for his strange refusal to say anything on N0 exploration. Which is not indicative on anything, because it's a position he already held N0, before elims were chosen. So I started with an unconscious anti-Sart bias for wrong reasons. That doesn't help. After I left the thread yesterday, Sart doubled down on TUO's basement thing, with a completely insane reasoning. (Special mention goes to the S3 part - killing basement dwellers for their exploration having weighted a roll that already happened towards S3 lol.) But its stated goal was not to convince, but to heat up people and start something in thread. Rereading D1, I can see maybe the same intent behind the TUO vote: taking a bold position to start discussion on something, force people to take positions and talk in the thread, which is ultimately good for the village as it gives players more data to analyze afterwards. So I'm now reading as more village leaning. He's actually one of my stronger village reads (or rather least weak). I do agree, by the way, on Elandera being suspicious. She sends relatively long posts, but which contain nearly nothing. Just stating the obvious without elaborating (Sart's reasoning on basement is flimsy) and useless reactions to stuff that happened earlier ("Who wants to die?" "Uh not me!"), wrapped in (admittedly nice) RP to give an appearance of effort. @Elandera, what do you think of the TUO train ? Of Spirit, of Sart? Of myself? Of Lego? Of Aeternum? Of exploration? Of the color of my socks? Of anything ? Unrelated but I just thought of something. (Originally posted what's below as a separate message, the Shard fused my two posts.) We get a clues that has 66% chance of being the current scenario, and 33% of being from another. Some clues are shared between two scenarios. How is this calculated ? Is it a first roll for "clue from this scenario or not?", then another for which clues of the selected scenario? Or a single roll with all clues having different weights ? Can the clue from another scenario be one shared with the current scenario?
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*massive hugs* Yeah. I do feel most of those things too. It sucks so much, and there's no easy way out. But you don't have to feel bad for needing to talk. It's perfectly normal. And we'll always be here to listen. If you want to talk with me, my PMs are open too. *more hugs* *even more hugs* Edit: woops didn't see your other post
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I checked who explored where. If everyone was truthful in thread, we have: Basement: Kasimir, Silvereye, TUO Hallway: Lego, Aeternum, Aeoryi Upstairs: Spirit, Elandera Did not want to tell : Sart Missed the night: Coffee Cat So more or less equal distribution between the roles; Sart's choice would only change the probabilities by a small margin. We can't really use that data to guess the scenario IMHO. I mostly agree that we should assume a worst case scenario of 2 or even 3 standard elims, at least until we get more clues from exploring. That said, trying to guess who the elims are by looking at the probabilities in the multiple elims scenario, as TUO is trying to do, is uuuh dubious (see Kasimir's post, which I pretty much entirely agree with). To stay on TUO: he has so far made a RP post where his character smiles like a maniac while saying "who wants do die today", then spent an entire page saying that we should be suspicious of people who explored the basement after exploring the basement himself. If he is an elim, then that is an interesting strategy. So I'm tempted to put him as slight village. But evil TUO could very well be hoping to trigger that reaction. Sart's only post where he votes TUO for his RP could indeed be a bait for other players to vote TUO. But it also feels too evident, so I won't vote for him rn. Kas does feel somewhat villagey. Nothing really useful on the others. Well technically yes but stuff like "Aeternum feels off in some way but also genuine in some way so in conclusion I don't know" is useful without being useful. (I'm talking about Aet, but this applies to basically everyone.) I'll RP later (in N1), not the energy tonight. Also, just need to mention that rollover is at 5AM my time, so dont expect me in the last hours of cycles lol. VC: Aeoryi: Kasimir (1) TUO: Sart, Spirit (2)
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Junior Junior stood in the hall. On one hand, he was telling himself that he should stay close to other people, in case something attacked. On the other hand... people. Bleh. He didn't feel like having company right now. Not that he ever felt like. He was just fine in his cabin by the wood, not seeing a soul for weeks at a time save for some animals. Maybe he ought to have stayed there tonight, sparing himself that insufferable party of wannabe ghost busters. The house, though. For as long as he could remember, which was uncomfortably long, it had been a ruin on the top of the hill. And now, it was there again, as if decades of ruin had been just brushed off. Something was up with that, and if he had to trust the people out there to find out... well, the moon would probably fall on Earth before they got anything resembling a beginning of an answer. There was no way he’d let a possibly haunted house so close to him for so long. Not that all of the people who'd came were that bad. Some of them seemed almost competent. He wouldn't be completely mad, for instance, if that Aven guy ended up getting the butler's gift. A smart guy, who knew when to stay silent. Or maybe that recluse ,who didn't even tell his name before disappearing. But the others… The worst of them might be the one who had described himself as a “paranormal investigator”. Probably just another idiot who pretended he was smarter than anyone else just because he could make fancy drawings and use fancy words. And the priest. An useless lot, all of them. You could come to them with a rabid dog, and they'd still insist that the animal was a creature of the God Beyond just like you, and it was your fault for getting attacked! You just had to give them the same love that He had given to you! Instead of taking down the poor beast like anyone with a peanut’s worth of sense! No, the butler had better give the gift to him. He’d get the whole thing solved in a matter of minutes. Junior Junior shook up his head. He didn't like the house. It looked too much like another house, one he’d left behind long ago. He’d already spent more time he’d have liked in here. He’d better find out quickly what was happening here. No need to drag it out by daydreaming in the hall. He started heading towards the basement. Important things, the ones people weren’t supposed to find, were always hidden in the basement. Junior Junior put his foot on the first step. He heard voices. A pleading voice. His own. And felt cold metal against his skin. He froze in place. No... it was all in his head. It was a different house, a different time, a different place. He’d left that behind him. Junior Junior shook his head again, and walked down the stairs, step after step.
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Amaze at how it fits in my pocket. Then admire it while being as excited as a 5 year old. "Look its a real elephant ! With tusks and big ears and A TRUNK!!!" WWYDIYF an anchor IYP?
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"Wait, I'm coming too!" Silvereye shouted, a pencil and paper in hand. "To mark down whatever useful stuff we find", he explained when asked.
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"Hey." Silvereye waved back with an embarrassed smile, as if he didn't know what he was doing here. (Which he didn't, actually.) "I'm... I'm Silvereye, and you?" he added, with a slight accent. "I don't think so... wait, I do feel something in it!" He opened it frantically.
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Silvereye was in his room, reading. He leaned closer to the book, as the story was getting extremely tense. "He was tired", the page read. "Then, suddenly..." in a flash of light, the room disappeared. Silvereye, now not sitting on anything, fell on the earth. When he rose back up, and his blood came back to his head, he heard voices speaking English behind a tree. Then he saw a group of teens wearing backpacks. He noticed he was wearing an identical backpack, somehow. "Uuh... hello? " said Silvereye, trying to sound somewhat confident.
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I'm in too! Playing as Junior Junior, the old grumpy guy living in a cabin outside the village.
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What if they knew each other from the Shard, but that was their first meeting IRL? If that wouldn't work, I'm also in favour of having our characters not know each other. Maybe Glass could make up some story to explain why we're here? Like a plane crash, or an old wizard who wants to test us.
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Tuesday tomorrow, right? It should work for me too. I probably won't be able to make a puzzle either. Sorry about that
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Life in Technicolor ii, Coldplay Heroes, David Bowie (especially the 2002 live version. Not that the original is bad, but this one has something more in both instrumentation and vocal performance.)
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