Elf

it's raining

the thunder scared my kitten into my lap

i'm sitting on my bed, next to my window

the drapes are open, so every time lighting strikes, it replaces the room's warm lights with a flash of unfamiliarity

each time, my kitten meows and curls deeper into my lap, burying his head into my stomach

i pet him

he calms down, and purrs as the the rain lulls him to sleep

it's raining, yes, but i don't mind it

i don't mind it because i have a good book open, a comfortable pillow, a soft kitten, and tea an arm's reach away

chamomile tea, not too hot, not the slighting bit too cold, but just at the temperature that warms your entire body as you drink it

i used to be afraid of the lighting

i was told the thunder was when the clouds went bowling

and lighting was when they got a strike

but i always closed the drapes when it rained

and cried at night

but not now

now, the tears falling down my face are those caused by the book in my hand

the emotional swaying from the writing one author put so much effort into

so much time

an unexpected clap of thunder startles my kitten

the lightning fills the room, and a blink later it's gone again

i don't mind it anymore

why can't this moment last forever?

<< This is a reminder for everyone not to change themselves for someone else. You can have new beginnings, you can have apologies or restarts, but please, just don't have a new you. You may not be perfect the way you are, but the important thing is to accept who you are, imperfections and all, even if it seems like others would prefer another version of you. Because honestly, if people are making you think that way about yourself, you deserve a better version of them. And it may seem like they don't care about you. It may seem like no one cares about you. It may seem like the world itself doesn't care about you. But in these moments, above all, is when you must shout to the world: "I care about myself." Preferably when it's raining to add dramatic effect. >>

In other news, it seems like my new kitten Tango is part tiger. Not really, but... maybe. He's definitely very nocturnal. He likes hunting my toes at 2am. And also I'm getting highlights at the end of the summer which is very exciting!

 

What do you say to someone who you know will die, just don't know how soon?

How can you fit in everything you wanted to do with them in a month or less?

How many prayers does it take to last them just one month longer?

How can you enjoy new milestones when you know they'll never see your graduation, your wedding, or kids?

How can you laugh with them?

How do you spend what may be you last moments with them?

What if you don't want to spend it crying?

Someone asked me today why I want to be a Professor of English Literature when it doesn't pay that well and I could make more money off of being a writer. 

And well, lets get the obvious things away first. A Professor is a title with a bit of prestige to it and its a steady income, unlike the job of a writer. 

Now apart from that, there are two reasons i think. Firstly, Academia is somewhere I've always felt belonging. To spend ny life surrounded by books and research and copious amounts of caffeine is a dream to me. Literature...literature saved me. When all the colours were black, books were a source of light. I don't know anyone in my life who's been there for me as much as Kaz Brekker, Vin, Kelsier, Elend, Geralt of Rivia, Harry, Hermione and Ron and so many countless others.

Books gave me hope and wonder. They taught me ambition and that when the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway. They gave me yearning for new ideas, perspectives, and places. Faith that there are no limits to possibility. That the sun will always shine again.

And if I can teach young minds the power of the written word? Can you imagine anything better than that? To incite in someone else a lifelong love for reading?

Secondly...I want to help people. 

All the teachers I have had have berated me and belittled me and put me down. Ignored my cries for help. Been indifferent to my suffering. 

I don't want to do that.

In my opinion, teaching is a privileged position because you get the honour of connecting with young minds.

I want to be the kind of teacher whose classes you look forward to. I want to use humour and intelligence to teach: things everyone can aspire to. I would never berate or put someone down.

I want to be the kind of teacher who you know will help you, no matter what kind of trouble you're in. Who you can look to for absolutely anything.

If I can help one person, just one other? Then I think the reason I was put on this earth will be fulfilled. 

I read somewhere that eventually you become the person you needed when you were suffering, but no one was there for you. And i fervently hope I can be that.

What do you say to someone who you know will die, just don't know how soon?

How can you fit in everything you wanted to do with them in a month or less?

How many prayers does it take to last them just one month longer?

How can you enjoy new milestones when you know they'll never see your graduation, your wedding, or kids?

How can you laugh with them?

How do you spend what may be you last moments with them?

What if you don't want to spend it crying?

Does anyone else feel like we're entering more and more into the worlds of 1984 and The Handmaid's Tale everyday? 

im getting dizzy spells 

like you know that sensation you get when you're in a car and it goes up and then down a slope 

that what i feel everytime i stand up or sit down 

and like actually right now im feeling a sort of general lightheadedness (if that's a word) i kinda just find myself swaying a bit 

my mum said its cause from acidity cause i drink too much tea which, pardon me, i dont exactly believe. 

There's a mine in Centralia, Pennsylvania that has been on fire since 1962.

It's a coal mine, from back in ye olde days before we'd figured out just how bad for the environment coal could be. The company had cut a bunch of costs by stripping out the coal and dumping it illegally throughout the area, which eventually caught the attention of the Centralia Council who ordered it all to be cleaned up at once.

These dumps were historically quite the fire hazard, which is probably what prompted them to dispose of the landfills via a controlled burn. Long story short, it didn't turn out well, and a few carbon monoxide tests later showed that the underground was, in fact, quite on fire.

You might wonder how a fire can burn underground for so long, and the answer is that they're just burning reeeeeeally slowly. There's enough(ish) oxygen down in the deep for the coal to slowly smoulder into ashes, expelling the fumes to make just enough room for more oxygen. And if you're skeptical, then just go on by where the town used to be and find some rocks in a field - I did, several years back, and you can indeed feel the heat coming out from the fire.

And these coal-seam fires aren't just in Pennsylvania - there are tons in China, New Zealand, Europe, etc. Centralia's just the most famous and longest-burning.

Or, at least, that's what I thought. Curious, I looked up "longest-burning fire," expecting ol' Centralia to get at least top three - but what I found wasn't a list. It was a singular, undebated fact:

Burning Mountain, Australia, is so-named because it has been on fire for -

- I shrimp you not -

Six. Thousand. Years.

YUS!!!!

I won a day again! It's been half a year since I've done it...

Wow, this feels really weird...

Maybe I'll actually get around to writing another post on Insanity Clinic, or, better yet, Alleyverse... Its been a loooong time since I've been active irp...

Might be fun.

Guys help 

I just keep getting distracted these days while reading. Whereas i could finish a 500 page book in 3 days before, it takes me a week now to finish a 300 page book 

And also i just can't read at night any longer which is sad to me since many of my best memories are of reading late into the night while listening to music 

And during the day its not so feasible for me to read. And even when i read, im distracted by something every five pages IT IS FRUSTRATING

Guys help 

I just keep getting distracted these days while reading. Whereas i could finish a 500 page book in 3 days before, it takes me a week now to finish a 300 page book 

And also i just can't read at night any longer which is sad to me since many of my best memories are of reading late into the night while listening to music 

And during the day its not so feasible for me to read. And even when i read, im distracted by something every five pages IT IS FRUSTRATING

Writers camp day one complete! On to day two!! 

I'm currently sitting in front of a guy in the process of explaining the full story and lore of the Cosmere to his friend. It's an impressive undertaking 

Should I post my sketchbook drawings on here?

Okay who just repped three updates in a row fess up

Okay who just repped three updates in a row fess up

Also!!! Sorry for the second SU. You all need to read Vicious by V. E. Schwab!! It's utterly fantastic and very cool. All characters are somewhere in the morally grey range and also superpowers! Both good things. 

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter is also crazy good and honestly super adorable . So far it's my favorite secret project. 

Also!!! Sorry for the second SU. You all need to read Vicious by V. E. Schwab!! It's utterly fantastic and very cool. All characters are somewhere in the morally grey range and also superpowers! Both good things. 

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter is also crazy good and honestly super adorable . So far it's my favorite secret project. 

Also!!! Sorry for the second SU. You all need to read Vicious by V. E. Schwab!! It's utterly fantastic and very cool. All characters are somewhere in the morally grey range and also superpowers! Both good things. 

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter is also crazy good and honestly super adorable . So far it's my favorite secret project. 

My nose ring is infected *cries

i have a bandage and everything;l i look like im from Fight Club 

*double cries

i also have to take like a gazillion painkillers and they make me feel sleepy and out of it and i have to study through that since i want to get ahead 

*triple cry

My nose ring is infected *cries

i have a bandage and everything;l i look like im from Fight Club 

*double cries

i also have to take like a gazillion painkillers and they make me feel sleepy and out of it and i have to study through that since i want to get ahead 

*triple cry

Also!!! Sorry for the second SU. You all need to read Vicious by V. E. Schwab!! It's utterly fantastic and very cool. All characters are somewhere in the morally grey range and also superpowers! Both good things. 

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter is also crazy good and honestly super adorable . So far it's my favorite secret project. 

Sorry it's been forever! I was visiting family and had to go afk unfortunately 

We adopted an adorable tiny young kitten and he's a boy! We named him Tangerine (he's orange on his back but has a lot of white), and we call him Tango for short 

I have a billion notifs and it's physically impossible for me to look through them all so if anything crazy happened pls let me know otherwise i'll just assume everything is normal

 

Soooooooo 

Im getting the dregs tattoo 

Like right now 

The artist is getting the stencil ready

For all of my Tolkien Fans, I've been embroidering this for the last few weeks. It's not quite finished yet, but in the end it will be a patch for my Senior overalls. I'll try to update when its complete.

Soooooooo 

Im getting the dregs tattoo 

Like right now 

The artist is getting the stencil ready