Shard of Reading

All I can do is the hobbit. And not even close to that level of sheer word count, and accuracy.

Oh, thank you.

First off, it's awesome. I really really like it. Secondly, I don't know if anyone knows how to stop pictures from rotating. My theory is that the shard flips a coin whenever you post a picture to decide to rotate it. (O.K. To be serious, I think that you might have been holding your phone on the side or something, and the shard did something with that. I don't actually know anything about computers, so don't take my word for it.)

His name was Doomathon the destroyer (Of annoying older brothers) and was Hoid's only weakness.

*Cough* @Condensation *Cough* Anyway, I don't know if you're going to see this @Thaidakar the Ghostblood, I'm really sorry to see you go, and I had a lot of fun pineapple dueling with you. Pineapples forever!

It's from Taln's rant. "I am Taln'enel (Whatever I spelled it wrong) Herald of war, the time of the desolation is near at hand, yada yada, you will have forgotten much, yada yada, Ishar will teach you something, Other heralds will teach you stuff, Kalak will teach you bronze... yada yada, repeat"

That would imply your cat is godlike. Oh, wait what am I saying, cats are god like. That is completely fine then.

Well, here's my last word: "Zooom Neeeeeoooormm Vrrrm Vrrmvrmm Wheeee! Pew pew pew! Bzzzzt Kaboom!" "Wait, why are there lasers?" "Pew!" (Excerpt from a XKCD)

Whenever you want to. Just let me get in the last word.

Puts on nice comfortable spiky hat

*While your back is turned I summon in shulk (Smash bros. version please don't kill me xenoblade fans) *British accent* Backslash!

*Pretends I didn't have to just google that even though I've read the books* *You're as cold as ice begins to play. Fintan freezes. Also, to torture him, I explain my dexphie ship* Edit: Dexphie ship is a joke. I don't actually care about that part of the books.

*Sees matrix code* *Becomes the one* *Kills withers* (Not at all related XKCD)

Ahhh! But I am in creative, I am immortal! *Spawns chickens because why not*

*Enters minecraft as well* */creative*

*Eats delicious Pineapple grenade* *Pineapple mechs fall from the sky*

*Blocks knife* *Lobs pineapple grenade* *Anchovy mercenaries show up and join the fray on the side of the pineapples*

Tremble in fear inferior pizza toppings, for this is only part 3 in my 236 part master plan! *Once again summons shardpineapple and attacks, stalling for time*

Actually, this was a double bluff the entire time! *A giant pineapple rises out of the earth. Each step it takes makes the ground tremble. I laugh manically. Lightning flashes dramatically*

Aha! You have fallen into my trap! Now if I could just remember what it was... *Suddenly a giant pineapple rises into the air behind me. It begins to shoot little pineapple grenades* Oh, right! That's what it was! Although how was that supposed to trap you? I could have just shot you out of your fortress with this anyway. Someone fire the pineapple's army strategic commander. Anyway... PINEAPPLES

*Summons shardpineapple and rushes in to attack the fortress*

*Uses pineapple necromancy to raise a army of little pineapple zombies to attack Thaidakar*

So, I hope I'm not the only person who has read this book, and if you have, PM me, I want to talk about it with you. Green Glass House Ghosts of Green Glass House

*Chanting slowly builds* Pineapples Pineapples Pineapples Pineapples Pineapples Pineapples PINEAPPLES PINEAPPLES!!!!!

Holy cow that's a long win. On another note, @Thaidakar the Ghostblood Pineapples are really good on pizza, if you have the right type of pizza.