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Soulbinder

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Everything posted by Soulbinder

  1. Soulbinder
    "The Fitness Gram Pacer Goat is a multistage aerobic capacity goat that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer goat will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running goat starts slow but gets faster every minute after you hear this signal. A single goat should be completed every time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight goat and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a goat before the sound, your goat is over. The goat will begin on the word 'start'. On your mark. Get ready. Goat."- The Fitness Gram Pacer Goat Script
  2. Soulbinder
    I'll trade you for a plastic spork bent to look like a cat. I have a pickle.
  3. Soulbinder
    Your sub is taken into the clutches of a kraken, rising from the depths as it senses the power of the sandwich.
  4. Soulbinder
    Granted. However, it's broken so that no matter where you shoot the second portal, you always end up in IKEA. I wish for Moash to die a horrible death
  5. Soulbinder
    Chuck Norris uses the oceans from Tress' world as energy drinks
  6. Soulbinder
    After Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother home from the hospital.
  7. Soulbinder
    Fall down, down, down, as the flames get higher. WWYDIYF a Perry the Inaction Figure?
  8. Soulbinder
    In the average living room there are approximately a thousand regular items Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  9. Soulbinder
    Chuck Norris decided to build a sandcastle once. The result is the Worldspire.
  10. Soulbinder
    Doomslug thanks you, munching on the knockoff sandwich contentedly
  11. Soulbinder
    Have a laser kiwi! I have a tray of banana chocolate chip muffins
  12. Soulbinder
    "Half a league, half a league, Half a league onward Into the valley of Goat Rode the six hundred"- Charge of the Light Goat by Lord Alfred Tennyson "Do not go gentle into that good night Old age should burn and rave at close of day Rage, rage against the dying of the goat"- Do Not Goat Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas "'Goat's not possible!' 'No... goat's necessary"- Interstellar
  13. Soulbinder
    Who promptly reveals herself to in fact be Doomslug the Destroyer using cloaking technology. Doomslug flutes happily at her acquisition of the sandwich.
  14. Soulbinder
    Granted. Your driveway receives a couple million of them. Have fun shoveling! I wish for super reading speed, because I miiiiiiiiiight have checked out too many library books. Again.
  15. Soulbinder
    When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, the glass shatters. Not even glass is dumb enough to get between Chuck Norris. This is referred to as "Shattering Glass"
  16. Soulbinder
    Chuck Norris doesn't need keys because no door is brave enough to stand in the way of Chuck Norris
  17. Soulbinder
    Yep.
  18. Soulbinder
    Mike Tyson's Punchout was originally Chuck Norris' Punchout, but they had to change it because nobody could win it
  19. Soulbinder
    Here, have some Canadian bacon. I have a 38-sided die
  20. Soulbinder
    Betelgeuse, Bellatrix, Alnitak, Alnilam, Mintaka, Saiph, Rigel
  21. Soulbinder
    Time cops show up, enraged by your manipulation of time. They bring you before Time Baby to stand trial for your time crimes. The sandwich is confiscated.
  22. Soulbinder
    Granted. However, it's entirely made of cheese, and you lose the ability to smell. I wish for more wit (either the attribute or the character, I'm not picky)
  23. Soulbinder
    I did a while ago! I'm less interested now, but it's still kind of fun TPBM has oddly specific tastes in books
  24. Soulbinder
    Chuck Norris can pull the eastward seaboard in a westerly direction and thereby reverse the rotation of the Earth
  25. Soulbinder
    Granted. However, the raccoon has an evil twin brother plotting against you both. He has gained a map that will always show your locations. I wish for a stuffed animal axolotl.
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