Snakenaps

There's all sorts of grammar problems, dropped words, wrong tenses, and such I need to fix desperately. I thank you for putting me on the lookout for that one once I get to revising this chapter. I agree on the repetitiveness. It's a consistent problem from me figuring out how to write that is sprinkled all over the book. I have so much to cut or rewrite. Thanks @Sarah B

If we end up with an over-full roster, I won't take a spot this week. I want to make sure @Mandamon gets a spot, considering he has a deadline and I definitely don't. So if we have an open spot on July 1st, I'd happily take it, but I don't expect it.

I think this is a really good lesson for me to learn. Considering my background, I especially think I should be careful. I didn't grow up in a very culturally/ethnically diverse city, and where I live now is only marginally better. I don't have the experience, knowledge, or wisdom to write a culture, society, or belief system so dramatically different than what I know. Maybe one day I'll have the ability to bring in a larger world into my stories, but right now I should take baby steps. If I'm nervous writing a male MC, then I definitely shouldn't get over my head and write about a religion I know practically nothing about. It's so easy for me to get overenthusiastic about an idea, grab it in my teeth, and run with it before I think it through. I admit, I've been completely thrilled at the idea of writing a story that *isn't* in my current world and stretching myself. So what did I do? Pretty much go in the complete opposite direction of what I'm currently writing, and immediately got over my head. I think this has been very worthwhile. Not only have I been saved a lot of time of research, but I've learned something new about myself. I'm still going to read the Kabbalah, though. I find it fascinating.

Point taken. I've primarily studied Greco-Roman mythology due to six years of Latin. At this point, people have screwed with that mythology so much that it doesn't matter anymore. I need to be more objective and think about how my writing can affect others. That's a new feeling, but a good lesson to learn. I need to go back to the drawing board and think about what I really want to write about. What is the core of this new story? NotK started with me wanting to write about a world with talking unicorns and dragons.

Sorry @shatteredsmooth. I'm a talker... Thanks for reining me in @Mandamon.

Oh my gosh, yes. I wasted an entire year on GE's that I would have loved to swap for something more practical. My roommate, a college graduate, who I have been living with for three years in this same apartment, didn't even know what bills she was paying until last week. She thought that rent was $300 more than it was, which made NO logical sense. She also thought we paid for water (hint, we don't). My poor friend, who is about to move into her very first apartment, called me up because she didn't know how to set up PG&E or Internet. I had to sit down and give another friend the "credit cards aren't free money and what do you mean you don't know what interest is" talk. My sister's boyfriend didn't know how to use an iron until senior year of high school. My college has voluntary "Adulting" classes. I am under the opinion those need to be a required GE course. Every day I feel like I'm calling up my parents going, "Thanks for teaching me this when I was a kid. You saved me a lot of grief."

I'm not the only homeschooled one! Yay!!! I was homeschooled 2nd-8th grade. Jumped straight into a small university preparatory public charter school. My entire high school graduating class was 92 kids. I have to wonder though, is homeschooling the reason why I get along better with people older than me than people my age? Because, frankly, college kids and recent post-graduates are morons. Voltaire's "Common sense is not so common" needs to be changed to "Common sense no longer exists."

I am becoming more and more convinced I am over my head XD

I'm currently reading The Kabbalah: The Essential Texts From the Zohar, translated by S.L. MacGregor Mathers, foreword by Z.ev ben Shimon Halevi. It's a 2005 copy of the original translation published in 1887 in Qabalah Unveiled. So there's an actual chance my MC may have read this particular translation. I also have (unread, still reading the Kabbalah): On the Kabbalah and It's Symbolism by Gershom Scholem, and The Cipher of Genesis: The Original Code of the Qabala as Applied to the Scriptures by Carlo Suares. Glad to have this discussion too! After talking with you all, I may lean towards Scenario 2 and simply read the Kabbalah because I'm enjoying it, rather than for research. It might be more worthwhile for me to turn towards creating a new magic system. Or...maybe I need to turn to folk tales? Native American mythology? Hmmm... At the very least, this whole endeavor towards learning about Judaism might spark inspiration somewhere else! And the worlds that came before our worlds, the minor gods, the angels, the Sephiroth, the male/female sides of God and a LOT MORE.

I'm going to tuck both of these comments away for rainy days. Maybe I'll write them on a sticky note and place them on my desk. I need reminders like these for when my brain stops being my cheerleader. That was actually the main reason I started coming up with the world. I was so tired of reading fantasy books that were depressing. A Song of Ice and Fire definitely didn't help. You can have a good, kind character that still makes mistakes. A strong plot can have lots of conflict without needing massive amounts of torture and death. Life is depressing enough. I think the best choice I made from Draft One to Draft Two was ditching the romance subplot and focusing on the theme of family. I know nothing about romantic relationships, but I have a very tight knit family. I guess this returns to the old advice of "Write what you know." I'm rewriting chapter one and I've discovered that Ir's sister sounds exactly like my mother's side of the family when we rant about something. Like, if you smashed myself, my mother, my sister, and both of my uncles together when we're angry and passionate about a topic, that's Sue. Except Sue wants to overthrow a monarch, and we get furious about untrained dogs in supermarkets.

This is why I'm hoping to match a heavy amount of research with actually chatting with some folks. Thankfully, it appears I've got several decently knowledgeable people here, and my sister's friend has a massively Jewish family. That's what I'm counting on, actually! That's one of the main reasons I'm thinking why the MC and his wife leave New York City. NYC had a population of about 80,000 people of Jewish faith, that were mostly Polish and Russian, congregated mostly in the Lower East Side in Manhattan, as well as four other neighborhoods. From what I've read, no, golems can't be evil in the traditional sense. However, what research I've done suggests that golems tend to have to be destroyed because they turn destructive after a period of time. So I'm more looking at...what happens if golems don't receive the correct instructions right from the get go? Much like, what if you have a robotic bulldozer that is driving itself? Somebody is going to get squished (that is a terrible metaphor and I'm sorry). One missing piece of code, and everything goes haywire. I mean, the golem can be destroyed by simply Emet ("truth") to Met ("dead") by removing the aleph. What happens if you add the wrong letter somewhere, or forget a letter? I look at this as a win-win situation. Scenario 1: It turns out Judaism is perfect for the story. I do the right research, I talk to the right people, I end up with a solid book, I am happy. Scenario 2: It turns out Judaism just doesn't fit without me warping it. I have learned something cool about a culture and religion I didn't know much about, and have gained strong appreciation for it. Then I set the Kabbalah and the Sefer Yetzirah aside, and begin building a magic system that does work. I love building magic systems. I write a solid book, I am happy. Thank you, @aeromancer ! Hello! I thank your brain for guiding you here! I'm currently reading the Kabbalah and I am finding it fascinating. I completely get the concern about misunderstanding because not only is this stuff dense, it is very...metaphorical? I've had to reread the section about the Sephiroth multiple times now. I agree with the reincarnation that isn't really reincarnation. From what I understand Elijah may have been reincarnated as John the Baptist and as Enoch. Don't quote me on this. I guess I should say I'm more looking into resurrection, and raising the dead doesn't appear to be limited to Jesus in Christianity. Elijah is said to have raised the dead, for instance.

You may end up being very helpful. I've got this crazy idea about Jewish mysticism and reincarnation, but it's pretty much about this New York man who does it absolutely wrong and ends up raising up these twisted, evil golems. I'm okay with getting a little bit wrong, because the MC is a weak Christian and it was his dead wife who was Jewish, but I am petrified I'm going to make some stupidly obvious, incredibly offensive mistake. If this turns out promising, I'll end up hiring a Jewish sensitivity writer and some 1800's coal mining expert before querying it. I figure I have a long way to go, though, since I have an idea for the beginning, and idea for the end, and absolutely no middle. I'm currently in research phase. I must say, I find gematria fascinating. It's like numerology on steroids.

Well, I've failed. I swore to myself I was going to focus on my art and not revise until June 1st. I was trying to give myself enough time so that I could look at my manuscript with fresh eyes. I was getting so burnt out and frustrated in March on Draft Two, that I wanted to give myself a break and work on art and other story ideas. Which apparently now involves 1880's West Pennsylvanian coal mines and Judaism, if anyone knows anything about either one. But...I didn't make it. There's five days to go until June 1st, and I had the revising itch so bad I couldn't resist. I'm not emotionally attacking it, which was a concern I felt the critiques were going to cause (and they did, at the beginning). But now I'm enthusiastically jumping into revisions without feeling like I'm just reacting to everyone's thoughts and opinions. I feel good about my story. I feel excited. I think that maybe now revising will become something that I enjoy, instead of a chore. Mostly, I think it is because of you all. Because when Draft Three has issues, I won't be staring at the page going, "Something's off, I can feel it." I'll have people to go, "Hey man, totally agree, XYZ is off on this sentence." More so, I am eager to create a beautiful Draft Three that I can show you all and go, "Remember that thing that didn't work??? Look at this new awesomeness!!!" So I guess I'd like to just say thanks for getting the fire burning back in me. Joining this group was the best idea I've ever had.

I'm glad this all works out! It's so easy to read between the lines with emotionless text that I get worried. Please call me out on anything if you ever notice I have misconceptions. I won't get offended or stressed either. As to M, I think it is a sign of a good character when you don't know exactly how she would react immediately sometimes. She has depth and many layers, and sometimes characters can be just as hard to predict as real people. Crazy events, like almost getting killed by demons, can definitely cause us to react differently than we might normally. I love ranting about horses, but I can't imagine doing it when completely zonked, let alone having just "fallen down the stairs."

There's no hard feelings at all, let me emphasize that, over and over need be. I know you didn't mean to. I also know that I can come off as very opinionated and defensive when it comes to homeschooling, because I've been fighting misconceptions pretty much since the beginning of my homeschooling career. It was especially tough when I got my BA and teaching credential, because I felt I was constantly having to defend homeschooling to my college professors and to my fellow public school teachers and parents. There's a lot of false assumptions out there, and when one triggers me, I tend to blow up like a pufferfish. Sorry. I think that you should stay true to both your audience and your characters. Would M honestly have a stronger reaction? Also, think about your audience. How many are going to come from a conservative homeschool background? Just because I have a bias, doesn't mean you should change anything. I trust you, so you do what is best for your stories. And if that means changing nothing, that's okay. First rule of critiquing: you don't have to please everyone. I had three friends (triplets) who went on a road trip in their RV for three years. I always thought that was a little crazy, but I'm a massive homebody XD It's amazing how much GE you can knock out before college if you homeschool through high school, which I didn't. I've had multiple friends start and graduate early. My friend, who is the same age as me, just graduated with her Master's. And I know you never meant to imply homeschooling was a bad thing. You swooped it up and saved the day with M's own personal experiences. I can be oversensitive when it comes to homeschooling, too, and that's something I need to be more aware of. We all have our push button issues, and you just stumbled across one. As a last thought, I'm going to give you one of my own personal experiences, and maybe it would apply to M or even T. Might spark some inspiration, might not. I don't know M's background much, but if she didn't have much Internet access (living rural or something), then there's a good chance that she didn't have much access YouTube. I didn't have regular access to YouTube or Netflix, so my first semester of college, I spent catching up on memes and Vines, because all the references went over my head. I was getting this feeling with A and T catching her up on anime. If she never had access to Crunchy Roll or something similar, how could she have watched anime when she was younger? I mean, I don't remember any anime appearing on cable except for Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh. And let me emphasize again. I didn't mean to worry you or anything. I was and am never mad or offended. Worried about misconceptions that could spread to others? Yes. But angry? Never. I am a lazy bugger who hates drama. I consider you a friend, and I'm sorry if I caused you any grief. It was never intended.

Thoughts as I go: Pg 1, "calm dreams she was already forgetting" That's going to make it difficult for me to get the answers I want. Pg 1, "knocking a handful of other books off of the table" I am going to guess we are either in a study lounge or the library. Probably not class or the dorm. Pg 1, "a white button up with little spaceships and planets on it" That is so cute. I find that shirt attractive without even seeing it. Pg 2, "I did hear from them." They're lucky they survived. Pg 2, " the cafeteria" Not library or study lounge. My theory debunked. Pg 2, " made some kind of bargain" This seems like a bad idea. Pg 2, "some kind of battle between beings" Uh oh! Pg 2, "The whole thing had been a set up." I'm changing my theory from his friends were lucky to his friends are dangerous. Pg 3, " What happened to your face?" Somebody must have been snuck back into the dorms late at night, or magicked there or something. Pg 3, "tried to cobble shields together" Smart, before she accidentally started to answer telepathy. Pg 3, "Would he think of her like a science project?" My guess is that he would become a fanboy. Pg 4, "I think I spent half the party sitting alone" Aaaaaall byyyy myyyyy seeeeeeelf. Pg 5, "he was up to illegal [stuff]" Had this been my college town, it would have been buying booze for underage kids. When I lived in the dorms, some high school students slashed the tires of all the cars down an entire block because one of the fraternities wouldn't let them into a party. Pg 5, "Did I ever tell you I was mostly homeschooled? And no social life until now?" Okay, this erks me even if I know it makes complete since for the story, considering her paranormal background. I was homeschooled for seven years and can verify with hard evidence that most homeschoolers are better socialized than their peers in the same grades. I will set my soap box aside and not rant, especially since in M's case, she's right. Her social life was probably mostly supernatural creatures or those who interact with them, and that wouldn't give her the same know-how to interact with essentially a different (normal, non-magical) society. Pg 6, "Is she some type of conservative?” I lied. Short rant. Having been homeschooled in an incredibly conservative town that would rather belong to the State of Jefferson, I was still plenty socialized, thank you very much. Were there the occasional crazy, Pokemon-are-demons, Obama-is-literally-the-Anti-Christ people completely incorrectly unschooling their kid? Absolutely. But I'd also like to point out that since I moved south I've met plenty of liberal nuts who are just as bad at unschooling their kid as the conservative crazies. Bad homeschooling can be found on all spectrums of politics. Also, sorry for bringing in politics. I mean no disrespect to anyone. I generally try to steer clear of that, but I'm very protective towards homeschooling. I wouldn't be the (amazing) person I am today if I had gone through the public school system. It's a strong bias. I would like to say, considering T's background, especially the initial concern about pronouns and that she came from a small town, her concern is likely reasonable and within character. T, I am sure, has her own biases and opinions, and I respect that. Pg 6, "I have a sudden craving for bacon pizza" I would literally befriend this girl in real life just for her excellent taste. Pg 6, "I don’t think I’ve ever had bacon on my pizza.” The HORROR. Pg 6, "Last month," I lost track of the timeline here and had to go, "Was it really so long?" before nodding to myself and remembering, yes, yes it had been. Pg 6, "Cheese, beef, peppers, onions, mushrooms, sausage, and so much bacon, all piled on thick, crusty dough." This was not good to read before dinner. Pg 6, "Are [you] trying to turn me on, or just really enjoying your food[?]” Won't lie, I've got to steal this line. My friend and I love trying out pick up lines on each other, completely over-the-top delivered with as straight as a face as possible. Pg 6, "Take as much as you want" That's dangerous to say to M. Pg 7, "looking at the woman" Is the woman the curls or the purple haired? Pg 7, "brown bottles the cashier handed" Wait, hold up, they sell beer at the cafeteria!? If they had done that at my college, even more kids would have shown up to class drunk! Pg 8, "We accidentally started a fire in the kitchen during a chemistry lesson." YES! THIS is homeschooling!!! My mother taught me genetics with horse colors because I didn't understand Mendel's peas. Science experiments gone totally wrong? I don't think Mom ever got any right, but we sure learned a lot from failure. Drawing out dinosaurs to learn about dinosaurs? Hell yes. This is a picture from my homeschooling days, when I was in fourth grade: What's a better way to learn basic chemistry than baking cookies? I'm the one with the curls, while my sister (so polite) is the one pretending to hit me with the rolling pin. Pg 8, "she hadn’t missed out on anything exciting by being homeschooled." Absolutely, incredibly correct. Thank you. Won't lie, you had me worried there for a moment. Pg 8, " his favorite pizza place" I am now assuming that this is one of those cafeterias that are more like mall food courts than a dorm cafeteria. My college campus had both. Pg 9, "slice of bacon and egg pizza" I have never had egg on my pizza before...I must try this concoction. Pg 9, "Jealousy radiated off" Uh oh. Pg 10, " put her shields up" Oh, poor T. I feel so bad for her. She deserves better. Pg 10, " the idiots who summoned a demon this weekend" I do believe it was three demons. Pg 10, " Same price" I love how all of the Pixies are desert motivated. Pg 10, "with a shortened version of the message the pixie would be delivering" Have both delivered, in case one fails to arrive? I approve of backup plans. Pg 12, " they were standing in an empty, dark room" I am on edge. Pg 12, "like he expected someone to jump out of the shadows and murder him." Hey, me too. Reading my mind. Pg 13, "using him as a puppet" Today Mi become road pizza. Pg 13, "pursuing the possessed driver." Yes! Wait...that means no backup if anybody was left behind... Pg 14, " It wasn’t the first time someone had tried to run him over." Yikes. Pg 14, "wanted to capture him alive but wounded?" Oh man, but why? I am nervous. Pg 14, "alluring smell of french fries." And the Demon kills them with poison, the end. (kidding, sorry) You know how to speak my language. Although, admittedly, bourbon butter pecan is my favorite flavor.

I assumed it was a computer error, not you. I'm glad it was something fixable and not a corrupted file.

I saw that! You posted just a minute after I did! Great timing I caught myself doing "Same" in ASL, a habit I picked up from teaching. Except it is a little weird when you do it with yourself and a computer. In case you want to learn how to say "same": https://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/pages-signs/s/same.htm

Thoughts as I go: Introduction, "How much longer will it be taking to investigate five more species," As if he isn't secretly pleased to have more to stick his curious nose into. Pg 1, " It wasn’t proper to show so much ankle." Scandalous. Pg 2, "almost ex-actly forty cycles" Not sure what is going on with "exactly" here. Pg 3, " Five Hive Plateau" I need to go read this short story before I get a copy of Oathbringer. Pg 4, "the sub-tle manipulations" Another weird hyphen. Pg 5, " shut-tled" This is really confusing me. If randomly hyphened words appeared when O talked, then I wouldn't care. But this is bugging me, because it doesn't fit in with the narrative. Pg 6, "She was twice as big" I am picturing literally twice as large but still proportionate. Not a massively overweight Mother, Jabba the Hutt style. Pg 8, "O-n’s knees were weak," These hyphens are driving me nuts. Pg 10, "effi-ciency" I would ctrl + F this document for hyphens. Pg 11, "ac-ceptance" Pg 13, " stepped out of her portal," Mid chapter POV switch. I'm sad to leave O, but otherwise, this doesn't bother me one bit. Pg 13, "inter-ference" Now I know this isn't purposeful because this definitely would not occur during R's POV. Pg 13, "an entire city" I must say, I am enjoying this little tour of new locations. It makes me want to see more. Pg 15, "our holy man" I had a theory until this fellow appeared that all of their names were two syllable. I was wrong. Pg 16, "No thanks to you." Pleasant fellow. Pg 17, " Giant spiders" I will politely pass. Pg 18, " small and sickly in comparison." Of course they were. Pg 18, "Assem-bly" Pg 19, "furni-ture" Pg 19, " made of the same light silk" Are their clothes made out of it too? Pg 19, "re-turned" Pg 20, "in-formation" Pg 21, "ne-gotiation" Pg 21, "as possible while" Pg 23, "had a way to manipulate" Were they the original creators of the Temple, the diadem, and the ring? And then simply forgotten to time until rediscovery? Pg 23, "re-sources" Pg 23, "herds" I like herds, as it gives a very specific idea in one's head. Although, out of curiosity, I Googled it, and apparently a group of spiders is called a cluster or clutter. Random thought: what do the spiders eat? The fruit? Each other? Pg 25, " these new negotiations will not be as pleasant as the first round." Uh oh! We have allies! With bumps and hurdles, yes, but allies! You're building up my hope, which is going to hurt if you dash it later in the finale. Won't lie, I'm concerned that the Species G might ditch everyone, though, if the going gets tough. I hope the hyphen problem is affecting any other chapters.

@Sarah B If you hop into Chapter 20, you're going to notice a lot of randomly hyphened words. I'm making a list of them, so don't feel like you have to I'm nearly done with the chapter. I'm glad you caught the same typo as me. Sharp eyes are good to have.

I'm first for once! Whooo! Thoughts as I go: Pg 1, "the earth walls bare of decorations" I am way too materialistic for that. Pg 1, "leaned against another walls" Pg 2, "the wheel of life and death." I find this really interesting because the belief system hasn't been explored a whole lot, beyond the Coalition. I would assume every homeworld has at least one main religious/spiritual belief of life and death, and our purpose in general, be it a crazy pantheon to atheism. This makes me want to know more. Does this wheel of life and death involve reincarnation/rebirth like in Buddhism? What does religion look like for a species that talks through its hands? Pg 3, "they went to plant themselves" What about the religions of species B? What might that look like? Oh man, now my mind is going... How do they repopulate? Does the birds and the bees have a much more literal meaning if pollination is involved??? Pg 4, "That was an understatement" Took the words right out of my mouth. Pg 4, "Were you the one to capture the Acc" This is ringing a bell but I can't place it... Pg 4, "The Ari in prison" Ah, yes, thank you for the reminder. I probably would have remembered if I was reading this book all at one time, instead of two chapters a week. Pg 5, "I captured the Acc" Did I know this? I'm sure I knew this. Pg 10, "It was a place for the unusual to delight in their remarkable abilities." This brings me joy. Pg 11, "He gaped like a fish for quite a few more seconds than respectable for a man of his age." Hahahaha, poor man. Pg 11, "Did they bring through the wrong thing?" Hmmm...with S, does that mean that they could bring in a three house master? That makes me worry about deus ex machina...a three house master that can just fix everything... Pg 13, "from their pared gears" I know nothing about gears, but do you mean paired? Pg 13, "You have a good eye" Pg 14, " the [Crystal] to be selecting us in some way" I guess that the Crystal is something of a deity in this world. Not necessarily from a worship POV, but from an omnipresent power in the Facets. Pg 15, "'you call the House of M.' M asked." Two missing periods. Pg 17, "keeping him from creating an interplanetary incident." Hahahaha, I love O. He's my favorite, I think. Hard to pick, with so many lovable characters. Pg 18, "A.A.W." Irrelevant, but does AAW stand for After Ari War? Pg 18, "now that you are a member" Pg 20, "He also tried to keep his ears from twitching." How much mobility does his ears have naturally? I'm curious to find out how much emotion those ears can show, much like O's crest. Pg 22, "it may have been possible." Hmmm, how does Ari reproduction work? Pg 23, "how our species propagates" Well, glad to know I'm not the only one in the dark. Pg 23, "do we want children?” At first I was like, it is way too early in the relationship to start thinking about children. It's been only three months. Then I realized, hey, I'm single and I think often, "Do I want kids?" so conclusion is, it is not only reasonable for them to think about this, but a good idea. Pg 24, " it was connected with our reproduction." Maybe it is like mitosis, like with cells??? Hmmm.... It gives me hope that I and E are talking about the future, since it would be so easy not to believe in one with the Elg and the Diss. On the other hand, I am worried about them choosing to make their own decision in regards to recruitment. I hope they make a good choice...

A much shorter chapter this round! Depending on how much I trim from Chapter 5, I may be able to combine the chapters. Ignore any anachronisms. Those are getting revised, as well as the old monarchy before the BK. I began reevaluating reader promises from the last chapter and came up with an idea for Draft Three that is really going to strengthen everything. So, thank you all, because without you, I may never have realized this missing opportunity! Any and all comments welcome! Previously: Ir signs a contract with the monarchy that has taken over her country. The monarchy wants to her magical ability in exchange for rebuilding the entire burnt restaurant and paying the salaries of all of her co-workers.

As a massive fan of DnD and other RPG's, I would be happy to be a beta tester if this ever came to fruition.

Huh. So if the bodies didn't just...pop...there could have been some crazy teenagers ripping the teeth out of these monsters on a dare. Then if they discovered that it could scrape crystal.. Crystal graffiti. What would that look like??? Actually, I know what that would look like. I graduated high school only five years ago. I remember what high school "art" was. And the alleyway across my street is a testimony to college graffiti. Probably better that the bodies pop, then, and you don't have graffiti marring your beautiful crystal. Bad enough that there are bite marks. Maybe some alien bird will make those into nests? I love wandering down hypotheticals. I forgot to mention this, but my friend and I went for a walk and spent a good hour coming up with ways that Masters O and R could kill people with their respective houses. Your would is REALLY fun to play in. If I could ever actually get that man to sit down a read a book, I would happily toss Seeds at him once it arrives from the Kickstarter.

M is mute, actually. I had an explanation for this in the first draft, but deleted it because I thought the conversation with P wasn't necessary. I'll toss it back in, considering M is beginning to take a bigger role in my outlines for the future. Not all 4-legged animals have telekinesis. It can create difficulties, but also opportunities. For instance, horses are massively strong compared to humans. Humans have thumbs. Horses typically do much more physical labor while humans tend to take on the finer jobs, like basketweaving or cooking. Animals can be surprisingly thrifty without hands. I mean, give them horizontal doorknobs, and even a regular cat can learn how to open a door. My roommate's cat opens cupboards all the time. Horses are actually great at undoing locks. In the world, rats, like M, are often seamstresses and rune painters. Hummingbirds are singers or messengers or pollinators. No matter one's size or shape, there's some job out there. I need to lay the basics down early on in the book, considering this has definitely been a problem. Civilized = intelligent creature Mundane = stupid, regular animal Theriomorphic "therio" = half human, half animal (minotaur, C, sphinxes, satyrs, centaurs, etc) Me trying to be poetic, which usually falls flat on its face. My uncle and I were talking about that last night. I'll master being all fancy prose at another time. It just distracts in this work. I'll let my words fly under the radar, just like how brushstrokes shouldn't be seen. I'm not painting an impressionistic painting today. I'm reading the Starless Sea now by Erin Morgenstern and this lady LOVES her fancy prose, man. It's almost distracting. They do have mechanical clocks, as well as sundials. Clock towers are decently common, but it is also common to pay someone to knock on your door and wake you up at a specific time. An alarm person. I know I made a job name for that, because it does come up, I just can't remember off the top of my head. Neither of them are literate. Only about a third of the population in the province is literate, and generally that is the upper class. I mentioned it once with the recipes, and once with the help sign, but a proper foreshadow is three times. I should add in another hint. I think this hits all of the random questions!