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NameIess

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Everything posted by NameIess

  1. The Doug-waffle laughed confidently from his fortress, confident that no one would be able to get through the annoyances that guard his castle. The ghost, seeming surprised by this, pulls out an untuned violin and begins playing an accompaniment in the wrong key.
  2. A ghost interrupts Xyr’s speech by playing a rickroll.
  3. The Doug-waffle survived this assassination attempt, and soon all of TLT was forced to his will, and his empire encompassed everything. There was no one left who could resist him.
  4. Everyone is annoyed, and the only way they can stop being annoyed is by submitting to the Doug-waffle’s reign! It is a perfect plan, and the Doug-waffle makes sure that his consultants get exactly what they deserve for suggesting it:
  5. After receiving advice from his consultants, the Doug-waffle switches from a plan of conquest via an unstoppable army of the undead to a plan of annoyance via untouchable specters.
  6. This was indeed disappointing, particularly because there were so many dead people that, if they were able to kill people, would be very good at it. Seeking to solve this problem, the Doug-waffle hired a consultant.
  7. Funny thing is that’s basically the plot of the Elantris sequel:
  8. The Doug Waffle summons an army of the dead, intent on claiming total dominion over all TLT by killing everyone.
  9. "Yeah but why didn't he kill you again?"
  10. The Doug-waffle is sad, but at least he had enough time to give himself ultimate authority over all dead people.
  11. "How am I supposed to know? If he was real, wouldn't the necromancer have killed you?"
  12. The Doug-waffle instead decides to make not existing a crime.
  13. Nameless gives Cacophony a flat look, then vanishes. Meanwhile, the Doug-waffle considers stealing everyone's sentience.
  14. "You must have been hallucinating. He couldn't have taken Xi, because he's not real."
  15. Nameless disagrees. But that was irrelevant, because while the two Authors were arguing, the Doug-waffle had stolen a fancy white wig, gavel, and judge's robe from the Author Judge Uniform supply, which gave him all the judicial powers of an Author. Using that authority, he abolished Ghanderflaffles as a species.
  16. Nameless points out that he only claimed to be a professional in hyperbole.
  17. Nameless asked Cacophony what made him a professional.
  18. Nameless also pointed to that one creative writing class he'd taken a while ago.
  19. Nameless proudly pointed to the "most prolific Author on TLT" award sitting on his fictional desk.
  20. "But he's not real. He's just an invention of my mind. A nightmare, and nothing more."
  21. Regardless of whether or not this was the case, it was Nameless' professional opinion that Hacob being required to aid the Ghanderflaffles should they ever be in dire straights would be a good idea.
  22. After a quick conference with the General, Nameless noted that the General would be fine with Hacob's sentence started after the duel, and would be willing to place him in the Ghanderflaffle Reserves, only to be called upon in emergency. Also he pointed out that Subversion had never offered support to an enemy of the Ghanderflaffles.
  23. Nameless pointed out that TLT was all about fun and original stuff, and a Narrator serving under the command of the General would certainly be fun. Besides that, it would probably be good for Hacob, giving him experience in battle and tactics.
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