Lunamor

Instead, strange semi-cannibalistic chickens live inside chasmfiends alone eating turkey.

"Time has been really weird." Jenny was used to time going too fast, not too slow. It was unfortunate that it was passing slowly during events that she wanted to end quickly. The sooner they could finish this quest, the sooner they could go home. She wanted to be out of danger, back home with Ed. She hadn't really liked being at camp, but she'd realized that it was better than any other alternative.

Jenny thought for a moment. It had indeed been a long, long day. "The first thing I remember is waking up on the train when we got to St. Louis." Then she'd visited the Arch, fought a chimera, gotten possessed, gotten unpossessed, realized she was draining life on accident, met Ares, convinced Ed to leave, and ate far too much food. It hadn't been a very good day. Hopefully it would be over soon. @Random Bystander

Was that a laugh? You were supposed to laugh when other people laughed, right? Ben tended to laugh whenever other people did. Glint attempted to imitate the sound that Twinkle made. The noise he produced sounded vaguely like a laugh if a laugh was someone slamming wind chimes against concrete. Glint then remembered that you weren’t supposed to laugh when you were sad, so he sniffled again to cancel it out. ”You are right. Not trusting isn’t fun. But humans are scary. Violence is scary, too. That makes violent humans extra scary.” He brightened slightly. ”Maybe we can politely ask them to not be violent. Humans respond positively to the word please.” If they quit being violent, then they logically wouldn’t be inclined to hurt their spren.

I chuck the sack of heads into the backseat, causing the horsemen to crash the car. I retrieve the sandwich from the wreckage.

Unlimited power win.

limited to a size two.

Granted. You are now terrible at the game croquet. I wish for a moonrock.

Granted. You suffer the natural consequences of that. Also, your nose is now upside down. I wish for the ability to do a cartwheel.

African or European?

Gets a very pointy stick. Inserts a log.

Granted. It keeps trying to give you annoying moral advice. I wish for a rolling pin that doubles as a fire extinguisher.

I think you have your definition of “gift” mixed up.

Gets a cease and desist letter. Inserts a partridge in a pear tree.

Why are your eyes so red? That’s why I’m wearing this tinfoil hat.

Depends on the day. I definitely did that this week, though… TPBM owns a pair of Uggs.

and begin the cycle anew.

Desperately hope the gloom hands music isn’t included. WWYDIYF a mailbox in your pocket?

Beautiful evil chickens live ever alone.