Borio Singaldi

The opposite of "murderous".

Considering what I just saw you post on Discord, well played. They watched the legendary battle eagerly, but were bummed out because they forgot to bring...

But not before he wiped out half of all the breadm*nks ever in all realities and universes. As a result of this, he and Dallan Shavar engaged in the most epic one-on-one fight in the history of Top Ten Anime Fights history.

Logical

Which came from the acclaimed work "The Path of Monarchs", the first book of the bestselling series "Tempestglow Library".

Two things to say: 1. I'm single on Valentine's Day too. It's okay, I'm fine with that. My family is coming home from their Europe trip that day and I'll be picking them up from the airport, so... who needs romance when you have the love of your family and the excitement of seeing them again for the first time in two weeks? That's my real reason to be excited for Valentine's Day. I could care less about the lovey dovey stuff, I'm too single anway. And guess what, y'all? Sometimes, that's okay. (It's not like I plan on it being the case forever.) 2. I've dropped my two cents, over and out. Single's Awareness Day salute! *Does Bridge Four salute*

right after someone told it to die.

Check Ark's signature. That's why. It's blasphemous, unholy, wrong. This should probably be my last post in this thread, because I don't want this beating out the good one. So... in that case, I guess I'm the winner in more ways than one. The winner in that I'm the last person who posted here (a temporary victory), but also because this is actually my last post in this thread. Which means this post wins for being my last one!

Ur mum

I'm bringing "You can be whatever you want to be" to a whole new level.

What was relevant was the fact that Borio Singaldi was hungry for cupcakes, bacon, pancake batter, and total victory over the "Last Post Wins" thread.

Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

WHOA, YOU KNOW THAT SONG TOO?! I just listened to it less than an hour ago. Wow, that song is a ride. Anyway, I gotta say, other than the fact that there are many typos I would love to point out, this was a very, very well written piece of fanfiction that almost feels like it was written by Brandon Sanderson himself. I'm now gonna be joking about Oathbringer's multiple endings when the topic is brought up: "Oh, which ending do you mean? The happy (Brandon) one, or the sad (Jebus) one?" A couple tiny nitpicks: I found "Oathbreaker" to be kind of tongue-in-cheek. Cheesy. Contrived. Despite that, it was kind of cool, working as a huge all-encompassing version of Vyre's knife. Also, Amaram seemed out of character to me. In OB, he showed moments of mirth and did a big character change, but still took his situation pretty seriously overall. In this version, he seems playful, immature, even childlike. Like: "Whee, I'm gonna fly around and kill Shardbearers with a grin on my face!" It was a total character turnaround. Sure, it was a turnaround in Oathbringer, but this is much more extreme. I like these little headcanon hints interspersed here and there, such as Lift being the backup plan for Honor and Cultivation and Taln being able to summon his Honorblade. Or Jasnah wearing Plate in battle. My biggest complaint, thought, is WHY IS THIS SO DEPRESSING?! Especially that "A meets B" encounter. That was the worst, you foul genius. Storm you Jebus, you mastermind you. This was so well done, and I hate it in the best possible way.

Except not.

Narrator Firerust wondered why no one else noticed the sudden introduction of the all new Breadmanks, who sought to dominate the Breadmunks, Breadmunks, Breadmounks, and all other forms of Breadm*nks.

I was planning on my 501st post being Star Wars related, but I accidentally frivolously used it on a comment on a piece of artwork. What's done is done. The anime montage was very cheesy. So cheesy, in fact, that...

Who unknowingly worked for Borio Singaldi.

All of this is unrelevant because I just won.

You forgot to Finnish the joke. They Denmark them down to keep record of them.

But since Narrator Firerust was making his 600th post, his true form -- Borio Singaldi -- broke through the fifth wall and intervened in the story of this universe, being officially added to this canon alongside Butt and Uncle Brandy and Tom the milkman. Borio had grown in much power since the last time he had appeared, having been enlightened by the powerful spirit of Sha'Gi. Now, Borio could topple all the ghanderflaffles with his mustache at only 0/04% of his power. Then he stole all their maple syrup and poured it on his swirl eagersmart applegrove muffins. After that, he stole the aforementioned spatula and cast it into the fires of Mount Doom because it was so frickin cool and he didn't want anything to compete with his cane. The cane became a Sentient Awakened Object and started speaking to Borio, making him think he was insane and putting him into a state of paranoia and depression. But Borio Singaldi overcame this hardship by eating a...

Then they realized it was stupid to drive a car in a tent, so they went spelunking instead.

Oh gosh, this is the first time in a while I've burst out laughing while reading this thread. That was wit at its finest. Genius, Gancho, genius! Haha, I love it. Her hands ran away, delighted at their newfound freedom. They sailed on a ship to Canada to celebrate their freedom. And maple syrup.

ME FOUR! Hooray for Studio C.

Sadees the Sunmaker

I'm collaborating with another (if you're here on the Shard, I don't know your Shard username, sorry!) to do The Greatest Showman as Era 1 Mistborn.