Eagle of the Forest Path

One major difference between spren and Seons is that spren already existed before the destruction of honor. Seons were uniquely created by the splintering of Devotion (as far as we know: IIRC there was some talk in Elantris of the possibility of creating new Seons). Nightblood is not a splinter, and therefore irrelevant as a comparison IMO. If you wanted to reference the Divine Breaths as the splinters on Nalthis, I guess it could be argued that the mission a deceased person assigns him or herself when becoming a Returned is the Command at their core. (It seems logical, actually, but I feel there's a paradox in there somehow, though I can't quite put my finger on it.) The fact remains however, that in all the magics (and magic science) we've yet seen in SA, the involvement of spren is the only consistent factor. Though if your Voidbinding suspicions pan out, I fear everyone will have to look for an option that hasn't been brought up yet.

Don't forget that the end purpose of cultivating something is usually the harvest. *ominous music*

It seems pretty clear IMO that burning gold conjures up an image of an alternate self that might have existed had one made a different life choice in the past. When Vin burned gold in TFE she was confronted with the version of herself if she had not joined Kelsier's crew (I think). When Miles burned gold in AoL he was confronted with his alternate that kept being a lawman in the roughs (I think). Both of these are relatively recent changing points for both characters, so I'll propose that combining gold with duralumin/nicrosil pushes the changing point further back in time. So Miles might be confronted with a version of himself that hadn't even become a lawman in the first place. Vin might be confronted with a version where she'd run away from Reen years earlier.

And a follow-up on that: would being drained of colour affect the charge of the metalmind or spike? Or the abilities of the blade and plate? (though blade and plate, barring any paintjobs, are already pretty monochrome IIRC)

You get a Secular Humanism pamphlet. *inserts agnostic divinity (aka Lightsong)*

Firefly?

Thanks for the input CP. It's actually kind of both lie and worldbuilding. Ahazzar isn't making up everything himself, the whole spirit thing is what the Augurs tell people. It's really just an excuse to gather the most intelligent boys as their apprentices. They don't get all the clever ones, but still a fair amount. I also spent quite a bit of the first chapter on how Augurs are frauds, so I don't know if the lie is that hard to realize. With the story for the first half planned out, it didn't take all that long to write the second part of chapter 2. I don't know if I want to keep this as Ch2 or make it Ch3. So I'd really appreciate input on that. If you think it's better as two separate chapters I can fill out Ch2 with some inconsequential stuff. Edit: I've decided. It works better for the story if the following part is placed later. So I will be writing something to fill out chapter 2 with Ahazzar and Biuma. That will be followed by a few other chapters before this bit, for now referred to as 'Chapter X'. Here it is: And another set of annotations: Once more I am eagerly awaiting your opinions.

I'm just a goat, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. -Notting Hill (1999) Am I a goat? Am I a f*ing goat? -She's all that (1999) My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my goat, in this life or the next. -Gladiator (2000)

Sanderson draws heavily from Jung's collective unconscious for the Cosmere. It is likely IMO that knowledge of the shardic presence on Sel somehow leaked through to Keshu, giving him the foundation for Shu-Keseg. What's interesting to me is that the religions went in the opposite direction as the shards themselves. One religion splitting into two, linked to one shard each, instead of two shards (being splintered and) coalescing into one substance (the Dor). Compare to the religions Sazed collected on Scadrial: he said that many of them claim two gods, with various names, but all referring to Ruin and Preservation. As to Skaa's theory, I don't think the different manifestations of the Dor draw from either its Devotion or Dominion aspect, at least, I've read nothing to indicate this so far.

Sorry to nitpick, but the past tense of glow is glowed, not glew. And both view and thief (and their various derivatives) take the 'i' before the 'e'. There's others, but those two bugged me. As to the story itself, it shows promise, but IMO there's room for improvement. Some inconsistencies I spotted: Carolyn conned her way into the palace as a maid, where did she get the outfits and wigs for her other acts? Why would she change disguise daily? Wouldn't that increase her risk of being discovered? If you have a reason* justification for it to be the opposite, that should be part of the story IMO. (* Your reason is probably to show your character in a lot of situations, making clear how adaptable she is. What I mean is Carolyn's reason to change disguises) How was the theft of the jewels discovered? Since you're writing only Carolyn's point of view, it might be hard to work this in, but if you don't, it's a rather large plot hole IMO. You can of course decide to leave this as it is, I've just got a personal dislike for deus ex machina plot events. Taking off a dress while running away from guards... not easily done. At least, not as easily as you describe it (in comparison to other books, not firsthand experience). On the the final paragraph, how much time did Carolyn spend in the lamp? From the guards' reaction to the cave, I assume that it is rather infamous, would two people make the mistake of entering in a short period? If a long time has passed, all very well, but from your intro I believe this is a standalone story. You've concluded the theme of your protagonist deciding to change her life, but you've done it in such a way that it throws up new questions. If you plan on continuing the story that's exactly what you want to do, not so much if this is the whole thing.

First off, welcome to the shard. Similar powers to Lift and Taravangian exist already, both in Feruchemy. Lift's ability to metabolize food into stormlight is similar to combining feruchemical bendalloy and nicrosil (though the nicrosil is largely guesswork, since Mr. Sanderson won't say anything about it) Taravangian's intellect is textbook feruchemical zinc (with a randomizer added in) to the point that he (probably) even has to spend as much time stupid as he does smart. A shard's intent is to some level shaped by the shard's holder, Cultivation as intent could have been given an unexpected twist. If the Old Magic is not shard-based, the only (known) alternative is that it arose from a splinter of Adonalsium. Compared to the other examples of that, Old Magic seems rather overpowered, so my bet is that it did in fact come from one of the Rosharan Shards, whether it's Cultivation, Honor, or a combination of the two, I won't even guess. Hemalurgy can theoretically steal anything that is encoded on a spiritweb (even including external parts of it, such as a bond). From Lift's example we know that the Knightwatcher can influence how a person interacts with investiture, based on this I strongly believe that the boons and curses are in fact part of a person's spiritweb and can therefore be stolen with a spike (if the correct bindpoint and metal can be found).

Journey before destination. Need I say more?

Really? The good person gets spiked, robbed of his spren, and probably his life, while all the evil person gets is a moral compass of doubtful efficacy (with the possibility of later death). Even if it works as advertised it's still cruel and unusual punishment. How is that good, even chaotic good? Can you see some CG cleric walking up to some paladin and say: "Hey, I want to force some total barstud who's ruined countless lives to better his ways by using supernatural intimidation tactics. Thing is, to do that I first need to drive this huge piece of metal through your heart, OK?" Personally, I can't, but that's just me.

Oh vastly self-assured one, if I may pose another question? If a Chaod Leu man and woman were to take up residence in another land (if they were shipwrecked on an island for instance), would any offspring they had in that land have a soul?

Interesting that your way of introducing a moral compass in a person is inherently amoral. I mean, hemalurgically stealing a bonded spren most likely results in the original bondholder dying, so you killed an honorable person (as evidenced by that person being able to attract an honorspren) to force an evil person to act in a way you deem suitable, on pain of death. Mechanically as well, I'm not sure it would work that way. As far as I am aware it is not known what exactly can be hemalurgically stolen from a bonded radiant pair: the bond itself, either surge or both surges. In the case of it being the bond itself, being spiked away from its chosen human might trap the spren in the spike, removing its ability to sever the bond. In which case you've not only failed in giving Sadeas a conscience, you've also given him access to two of the surges and all of the benefits of breathing stormlight.

That's not exactly true. The Aon Tias spread out over Elantris are permanent (apart from the Reod of course) but are IMO probably open to be modified. If not, each transportation station would only have a single possible destination, which is possible of course, but a public transport system that can only take you one place seems a bit useless to me. Also compare to Essence Marks in Forgery: a single stamp that links to a metal plate bearing a large number of stamps. While it is not the same system as AonDor, it does indicate to me that Selish magics are open to 'hyperlinks'.

The method of acquiring/accessing the power should remain the same (or similar) though. If Preservation were to go to another planet, the magic would still be fuelled by the shard itself, as Preservation's intent requires it/him to preserve the human's innate investiture. Endowment's magic system would (most likely) still involve granting investiture to another person or object. And so on and so forth. The effects would likely indeed be different. Even the foci would probably be slightly different. Take the Honor on Scadrial example for instance. If Honor were on Scadrial instead of Preservation, IMO there would be 10 allomantic metals, not 16 (since the number 16 was because of Preservation).

Vasher could have nicked a bunch and melted them down to make Nightblood. Ok that's a bit ridiculous, but worldhoppers could have absconded with some shardblades at least.

I think the actual saying is "I don't need to outrun the zombies, I just need to outrun you."

Also, all shards are able to create splinters of themselves. And I believe that the presence of a shard on a world will automatically result in a shardpool there.

First a question: do zombies have the same flaw as coloss and kandra? Can they be controlled with emotional allomancy? If they can, I'd pick a Rioter with added rioting from a spike (to get enough power to overcome the resistance). So, far from running away, I'm the leader of my own personal undead horde. I'll finish with zinc feruchemy (because, compounding) so I can think up plans really, really fast for any situation. If zombies can't be controlled, double gold is tempting, but I'll try to keep things a bit original. Feruchemic gold, for the health benefits (but no compounding). I'll combine that with allomantic pewter, because pewter is handy in so many ways, and it includes a health boost that can help with gold storage without knocking you out. Finally, the spike... hmm... we know that allo-aluminum heals the withering from a shade, so it might do the same for zombie bites, making you immune. On the other hand, steel is just so darn useful! But in the end I'll pick allomantic tin, because staying alive depends on knowing what's around you. Plus, as proved by Spook, it works really well together with pewter.

Buy low, sell high, don't trust lawyers. Follow those three simple rules and you should be alright.

You never quite know where it's going to end up, but probably in a ditch somewhere. ... I'm not sure I like being this cynical... Cynicism is like a fart in a crowded elevator.

Sadly, I haven't received any feedback on the previous part of The Oracle. Stubborn as I am, I'll still post the third part. It took a while to write it, because now we're starting to get into the actual story. I first had to work out a general outline of the whole thing before doing this bit. I still don't have an outline for the second half of the "book", but that will be somewhat separate from the first half anyway, So I'm hoping to update a bit more regularly. Here it goes. And the annotations. I'm hoping someone will comment this time .

Hold on, this is about Nightblood being overpowered, stick being overpowered is a whole other issue. Now seriously. A spren's ability to sever souls isn't necessarily an indication of strength (or amount of investiture) as compared to breath. It's like comparing a hammer to a screwdriver, they have different functions making one or the other more suited to a given situation, but that does not mean one is inherently better than the other.