Fifth of Daybreak

So I thought it might be helpful if I jumped in here with my two cents, as sort of a bridge between the two camps. I've been a member of the forums since WoR, but due to a lot of craziness in my life (medical problems with family members, work-related issues, etc) I've also had extended absences from the forums. As such, I both have the feeling of being in with some of the older crowd as well as not meshing in completely since I don't participate in the discord, and don't participate heavily in a lot of areas of the forums. Regarding moderators: I wanted to weigh in to provide some benefit of the doubt for Chaos in regard to the public/private rebuke on the rules. While I feel like there's been a couple of times when there could have been moderation taken in conversations I've been involved in, I've only been addressed by moderators once, and it was in a public setting by Choas, and he did so in response to my having reported a post someone else made. Personally, I feel like this speaks highly of his ability to be unbiased and take in a whole situation. As a member who has multiple years of participation, albeit, with long absences, under my belt, and quite a hefty reputation rank, he had absolutely no reservations in, deservedly, calling out my behavior that was not de-escalating the situation. He was also very instructive and provided specific examples of said behavior to me when I privately messaged him afterward asking for how I could improve my behavior. This is consistent both with his statements on being completely transparent and his follow through in this thread. My own personal philosophy is that being directly open and honest about when you feel the discussion is starting to turn south, and confronting those feelings, is the best way to resolve it, without having to involve the moderators. As @Alderant noted, we have had great success with this together and formed a bond overcoming that tension on the forums. I know that I'm not perfect about this myself, but I'd personally much rather someone address me directly and tell me that I need to stop being a wool-headed sheepherder, and I'll do my best to remove myself from my emotions and take better stock of the situation. From my own experiences, the 17th Shard as a whole has been absolutely wonderful about this. Which leads me to the next thing I want to address regarding the things said about the arcanists and @Calderis especially. I can understand the perspective being stated here, about feeling like you've been targeted or dogpiled on for having a dissenting opinion on a post, as I've felt the same way at times. However, Calderis has been unfailing, in my experiences, to either own up to any actions that could be perceived that way, or apologize for any comments that come across that way when directly confronted about it. I can think of several different specific occasions where I have directly stated that I was feeling a negative connotation from a response to a thread, and he apologized for it and made clear it was not his intention. I have a lot of respect for him, not just because of the wealth of knowledge he has, but because he has always proven to be willing to discuss in good faith. Granted, I did not participate in any way in the ASK thread, however, I thought that maybe it might be helpful for some of you who I have not had extended interactions with to know that I've had some similar experiences, or that someone with a high rep and longer time invested in the site has had the "public shaming" option instead of the private message moderation. Regarding the reputation system, I was very happy to see the downvote system disappear, but I will be just as unhappy to see the upvote system disappear. While I can see the merit behind the arguments for not utilizing it anymore, it has always been a fun way for me to engage with other sharders, and vice versa. I'm not sure what the solutions are to this problem, or to the complaints against moderation in general, but I think that we, as general members, should also be looking at ways in which we can take ownership of the situation and find a middle ground that allows us to better facilitate communication with each other. Several months ago I decided to use my "about me" section to convey information about my personal style of debate and to reiterate that should any tension arise between myself and another member of the forum, that I will do whatever it takes to try to solve that situation if you bring it to my attention. Confrontation isn't easy, but I also think that putting the burden of this problem completely on the moderators, and then criticising them for not having an easy solution, is not the best path that we can take. The feelings I've seen presented are most certainly valid, please don't in any way think that I'm trying to make it seem as though I'm dismissing them, whether it's that you feel the mods are biased, or anything else I've read here. That's not my intention with this post. I don't have your experiences, and I would never try to dismiss them because my own experiences have been different. Rather, I thought it might be helpful to use my own experiences on the forum to provide a larger background picture for those who might be feeling this way. My feelings, of course, are my own, but I hope that we can find a way to figure this out that doesn't restrict people who obviously share our own love of Sanderson from participating in the forums themselves. I personally don't think it would be fair to expect them to put aside posting on the forums because they are trying to keep it a nice place for everyone. Essentially, I want to ask the same thing that is being asked of them, assume good intentions on their part, just as we want them to assume that both new and older members of the forums have good intentions themselves.

Buy All of the most popular groups are actually the same group of Kandra assuming different identities. This revelation will be the biggest scandal in Scadrian musical history.

I'm getting fairly close to finishing the first draft of my first novel Twin. I've got about 312 pages in Google Docs which puts me around 130,000 words, and I estimated that the story would be wrapping up around 150,000.

Buy This new musical styling will be called the Numuhukus, because irony.

Sell Rock's children will all be squires to the Lopen.

Buy It will sell enough copies to be the first platinum record on Roshar.

Why is the Vorin religion so strong? They have Ardent worshippers.

Sell Taravangian makes a new persona to exfiltrate the diagram.

It's... tangentially stormlight. What's the last thing Scadrial needs? Mo-Ash

Buy! Buy! Buy! After the dust settles Shallan opens up a bar, but it fails because Veil drinks too much of the profit.

Who needs a shovel when you've got a barrel of Horneater White?

They are darkeyed, I had checked into it before replying, but even though she notes his condescension before even making a request, she begins her part of the conversation with a polite, and formal, request. I'm not saying I disagree, only that at this point I can't throw my full support behind that reasoning when there are a few other explanations that could fit as well, and that I'd like to throw those out there for future reference as @Alderant goes through to give more angles to attack his from. (Also I really like Shallan and I don't want her to be classist. I'm not biased. Not at all.)

Buy Pattern is so interested in insults because it is some sort of weapons research he is doing for the Cryptics in Shadesmar.

I'm not sure I entirely agree with the analysis of her code switching in her attitude between Yalb and Jasnah/King T. At the risk of jumping ahead of you, in Chapter 8, Nearer the Flame, she starts out with a polite tone with the book Merchant, and only becomes bitingly sarcastic when the merchant sets her on edge from his assumptions. While I don't disagree that your reasoning is entirely plausible, her deference could also be due to familiarity with the crew of the Wind's Pleasure and the need to impress Jasnah as she asks for a wardship. I'll be interested to follow this thread especially to see what you dig up to really get to the bottom of her rational between the differences in her mannerisms, especially to see if those attitudes have a marked change when she needs something from the person she interacts with or not. "Dress poor when asking for small favors, dress rich when asking for large ones." Sort of along that rationale.

Sell Glys became corrupted intentionally.

Can't wait to read more!!

@Steeldancer Do your best and keep chugging through. Even if your first plan doesn't work out, there's always time to readjust course and figure out a new future for yourself. Trust me on that one, I'm doing that exact thing right now. Stupid school policies will get in your way. Trust yourself, keep moving forward, focus on working to improve yourself first, and for your grades second. You get out of school what you out into it. If the administration isn't backing you up, the best thing you can do is make sure that your focus is in yourself first and getting the most benefit you can. To clarify, I'm not saying disregard classes or lessons to focus on what you like, but to make sure that your focus is always on personal improvement and working on building the skills that will help you in the future. Focus on the journey and everything will fall into place eventually. I believe in you. @SilverTiger That's rough. It sounds like you are already taking a large step towards addressing the problem just by being cognizant of it though. I'm not sure I can offer you any concrete advice, but you've got my moral support. Do your best to identify the situations the push you to the edge and try to limit your exposure to them if you can. I know that can be impossible in situations where you don't have any control over where you are like school. If you can identify when you are starting to get angry, is it possible to tell someone in a position of authority that it is becoming an issue and you need to remove yourself from the situation to calm down? Not everyone will respect that, but reasonable people will understand that you're taking the responsible approach and allow you to take the steps you need in order to keep control of the situation. I know this might not be a feasible solution, and that you might not be looking for solutions in general, but I figured anything might help at this point, so feel free to take what I'm saying with a grain of salt if needs be. It sounds like you at least know your body and emotions well, even if you are still struggling to find balance. It took me years upon years to get my depression managed. *Hugs for you both* I wanted to give everyone an update on my situation. My last shift was over a week ago, and it's incredible how much better I feel about myself and life in general. I've got some great job prospects on the horizon, and I've been putting some serious work back into my creative projects. I'm hoping within the next month to drop the first episode of the Lost Legends of Scadrial Mistborn Adventure Game Podcast. To everyone struggling right now. It will get better. Lean on your friends, family, loved ones, fellow sharders, whatever you need to do to get through it, but keep moving forward. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the space I was given to release the emotions I've felt. Everyone on this site has been such a blessing in my life, I hope I can be the same for all of you if you need it. My inbox is always open if you need to talk with someone one on one. *Hugs everyone at once who wants a group hug*

Thanks, everyone. It's gotten a little easier every day. I've got three shifts left after last night, Your support means a lot.

Trigger warning: tragic death So I've got a lot to unpack here. I haven't been very active lately at all. Over the past few months, my depression has been getting really bad. Really bad. I can actually about pinpoint the day. It started in November when the company I work for started to change policies. The day I remember it really getting awful was actually the day Oathbringer was released, but the two things aren't related. I work for a private ambulance company. Back in November we lost a contract for a 911 area we used to cover. Since I started with the company five years ago, we've gone from 12,000 runs a year to 24,000 runs a year. It's gotten a lot more stressful, and we picked up hospitals in new areas that cause us to do a lot more long distance transfers. My average call length from leaving to getting back to base changed from under an hour to over three hours. When we closed our 911 base, everyone assumed that the two twenty-four hour trucks stationed there would be moved to other bases and our workload would get easier. We always had to have one truck available in that area and attempted to have a second around just in case, but without that commitment the crews thought those trucks would be free to pick up the slack and help calm things down, especially since we've gotten so busy we turn down profitable calls. Instead, they took those two trucks off entirely. What's followed has been some of the worst three months in my life. The majority of my shifts I've only been able to get two to three hours sleep over a 27 hour time period before I can get home and collapse into bed to salvage what little I can. I'm terrible at sleeping outside of normal sleeping hours (I sure picked the right profession.) It used to be when a crew had a shift like this the owner of the company would text is personally and apologize, then tell us to take the company credit card on the ambulance and buy some food for ourselves. Now it's just a regular daily shift. On top of this, I asked for a bonus back in October (I won't go into the reasons why I asked) and the owner not only seemed genuinely excited about me having spent five years with the company, he specifically told me that they could do it for me with the changes coming closing the base, he just had to find a number. In December, I'm exhausted, and on the one shift I'm finally getting to get some sleep, I was sent on a call that would take me four hours, and another crew an hour and a half. This was the last impetus I needed and I scheduled a meeting with upper management to talk about poor morale and the increased workload and the fact I had heard other employees joking about suicide on base (beyond what I would consider normal dark EMS humor.) One of the things they told me was my words would have more weight coming from a supervisor. I directed them to one I work with regularly as a partner on my ambulance who agrees with me on almost all points. Next time I talked to him he told me that when he was approached and corroborated what I said he was just told that maybe this wasn't the place for him to work anymore. Come January, I hadn't heard anything about the bonus, so I asked my boss, and I was told he had decided against it. At this point, I'm ready to move on, it's become clear I'm sacrificing my health, my happiness, and my future for a company that I can no longer trust to even give me the truth to my face. I started job searching, hoping to get out before something serious happens, because too many shifts i was being sent on a 6 hour transfer at midnight or later after running for 18 hours straight. I put in an application last week, starting to feel hopeful. Saturday I finally got my group around to record the first two episodes of the Mistborn Adventure Game podcast I've been teasing. It was the happiest I felt in months. I felt creative and like myself again. Sunday I woke up tired and sick, so I called off my 24 hour shift. I hate losing that kind of money off my check, but I've learned to trust my body, especially when it comes to 24s. Monday morning I wake up to a text from my supervisor friend asking me to call him. Overnight the unthinkable and yet entirely predictable had happened. One of my coworkers died in a wreck doing a 6 hour transfer at one in the morning after running all day. I just don't know how to process this. This guy was one of the most loving and caring people I've ever met. He did relief work in underdeveloped countries, never said a mean word to anyone, I mean, he lived all the values I aspire to hold for myself. And he's gone, just like that, and for what? Another dollar for the company because they couldn't say no to a long distance call at night? Couldn't staff enough trucks that we weren't running like this? If I hadn't called in sick, would that have been me on that truck and that run instead? I spent years of my life in Speech and Debate as a competitor and then as a coach honing my abilities as a communicator. I keep thinking to myself "why couldn't I make them listen? Why weren't my skills enough? What's the point in learning to communicate efficiently and learning to save lives if I can't convince the guys in charge of us that our lives are worth saving too?" Now I know those aren't fair questions to ask myself, this isn't my fault, I understand that on a logical level, but I feel like I failed him in a way I never have when I wasn't able to bring back someone who went into cardiac arrest. I had already made the decision to leave EMS and medicine in general, but this only cements it. I don't want to feel like I'm disposable anymore. He wasn't disposable. None of us are. I know this is a lot, but just talking to the friends and family I know personally hasn't been enough. This job has kept me away from the shard by making my depression awful the last few months. I can't do that anymore. You guys are like family to me. If you can send me some love, I could really use it right now. And do yourself a favor, get in touch with everyone you love and tell them.

I have a hard time thinking there's too big of a connection just because Taln had a similar lucid moment in WoR when Shallan used Lightweaving in front of him. It seems more likely to me that he's being triggered by familiar sights and experiences rather than any magical fix for his insanity. I feel as though if Dalinar's three realm Hokey-pokey routine was healing Taln's connection in some way it would be more permanent like the Parshmen getting healed by the storm. This is mostly based on personal interpretation however.

The problem I have with this idea is that we know that the Stormfather is Honor's cognitive Shadow, and the Stormfather was removed from Dalinar during the time when the words popped into his head. It also doesn't explain the way that the voice seems to continue the conversation that Dalinar was having with Nohadon in the dream sequence right where it left off. (Emphasis mine)

Haha @Clovermite is much closer to being 'First' from our family but still not quite. Still, for one shining post I wasn't the middle child.

Reread TWoK and WoR, I think you'll be very surprised to find not that they've arrived, but that they've been watching the whole time.

"You may compliment me now." "MmmmMmmmM your proportions are all symmetrical. Shall I recite their measurements for you in a poem I have composed? MmmmMmmmMm"