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Kobold King

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Everything posted by Kobold King

  1. Kobold King
    Beaverlamp? The man who killed my father, stole the woman I loved, and owes me twenty bucks? Draw your weapon and fight me like a man, you scoundrel! ... Oh. You're not him. Well, welcome to the forum! Hope you enjoy the peculiar combination of brilliance and insanity that runs rampant across the site.
  2. Kobold King
    I'd tell you mine, but then I'd have to come after you during my Rending.
  3. Kobold King
    Okay, thanks. My notes so far: Make Lightwards more of a jerk than usual. Have him think mean thoughts at Funtimes and Sam. Have him snap at Funtimes at least once. Have his toy soldiers and Pamela sway a little bit as they walk, to indicate their master's mental state. Have him rant about Republicans.
  4. Kobold King
    I liked it. Flashpoint is almost criminally simple and sweet, by the way. I'm... also not sure how drunkenness is supposed to work. Is there anyone here who knows either what it's like to be tipsy or how to write tipsy characters? Because I'm not sure how to write Lightwards in this.
  5. Kobold King
    Your wish is granted. However, your curse will be the inability to speak or write anything short of gibberish. Even your thoughts will be confused and garbled. I wish for the ability to hibernate through the winter months.
  6. Kobold King
    A fair point, and I like your headcanon, but I have my doubts about your main point. This is a photograph of the sun, taken by an amateur photographer named Alan Friedman: It's incredibly detailed, viewing an object with an apparent magnitude of -26.74, 93 million miles away from the surface of the Earth where the photograph was taken. And this is an amateur picture. It just seems to me like the combined scientific might of NASA and worldwide astronomical organizations should have been able to get a good look at Calamity. While we assume it's a much smaller target than the sun, only the size of a typical human being, it's nonetheless an extremely bright object that seems to be located in near-Earth vicinity. It seems like over the course of a calendar year, with all the resources available to NASA and its kin, someone would have taken a picture clear enough to show that it's a guy with wings. Also, Prof keeps as many secrets as a mime in the witness protection program. I'm honestly not surprised that he didn't tell the team what he knew about Calamity.
  7. Kobold King
    I think I'm waiting for Mailliw to post for Altermind and Flashpoint. What are the consequences? Because Nighthound killing Wes is nothing; Lightwards would just resurrect him again once he comes back to the MoNA. A brief scuffle with Nighthound and Red on one side and Wes and Ray on the other would be awesome and free of negative consequences.
  8. Kobold King
    Pretty major Firefight spoilers, hence the topic's presence in the spoiler board. You have been warned. In Firefight we learn that Calamity, that wicked red star visible even through Nightwielder's smog, is actually an Epic. From Chapter 41: And in the same chapter, David sees it almost up close, and could have sworn he saw a pair of fiery wings. So here's my question... how is Calamity's true nature not common knowledge? We are told in the prologue to Steelheart that there was a full year between Calamity's first appearance and the dawn of the Epics. We are told in Firefight, in the passage quoted above, that it is brighter than any star but far dimmer than the moon; that puts Calamity at an apparent magnitude somewhere between -1.46 and -12.7. Therefore, there was a full year for NASA and every other astronomical organization and amateur stargazer to view a mysterious glowing object that appeared without warning and is brighter than Halley's Comet. This isn't the sort of thing people ignore; it seems to me that scientists should have learned of Calamity's true nature long before Epics began to appear. It should have become common knowledge. At the very least, David shouldn't have been nearly surprised at the revelation as he was. In summary: if Calamity hung over modern Earth for a full year and can be viewed with a telescope, why in Calamity's name doesn't everybody know what it is?
  9. Kobold King
    Well Nighthound's in the Museum now. Can we have Wes bite off his hand? Because I think Wes should be allowed to bite off his hand.
  10. Kobold King
    Granted. All the pillows of the world are stolen from their owners and transferred to you. As the rest of the world is restricted to rocks, sticks, and especially fluffy chihuahuas, you have a lifetime supply of the most comfortable pillows in the world. I wish for the world to be plunged into eternal darkness.
  11. Kobold King
    Granted. The Nightwatcher, being unfamiliar with the state of the art of video games, uses the 1980s as a model. All video games you play from here on out will be raised or lowered to the standard of retro arcade games. I wish for a limited run comic book series where Superman fights Steelheart.
  12. Kobold King
    Brandon Sanderson wrote a math program, but teachers complained that it was "too awesome" because students didn't want to focus on their other studies. Brandon Sanderson's wit is sharp enough to pierce the inner layers of a neutron. Brandon Sanderson once fell asleep at his keyboard with a word document open. We now call the sequence of keys his nose pressed "Sanderson's Laws of Magic." Brandon Sanderson employs a team of orangutans to re-write his novels before publishing, to filter out as much awesomeness as they can. This is to prevent readers' standards from being permanently raised, preventing them from enjoying other novels. The strategy is successful only 30% of the time. NASA wishes to send a new Pioneer probe out of the solar system, laden with signed Sanderson novels instead of the traditional plaque. Brandon Sanderson turned down a Nobel Peace Prize because he was too busy writing The Way of Kings to fly all the way to Oslo. After reading the finished novel, the committee offered to mail the prize to him. Reading Brandon Sanderson novels to plants makes them grow faster. Heaven is God's personal collection of Sanderson novels and memorabilia, which the righteous are allowed to peruse after death.
  13. Kobold King
  14. Kobold King
    * joins group hug * It's definitely awesome! Though if you could cut the rest of us in on your Fountain of Youth secret, we'd be eternally grateful.
  15. Kobold King
    I would hug a Dalek if it were okay with it. I'm tolerant of all xenophobic alien races.
  16. Kobold King
    We've already discussed characters like Lightwards and Sam in the secretive realm of PMs, but I'd like to ask you about one: what would Koschei the Deathless have felt, had Quota been around to torment him? I have no strong bias either which way in Astoria. Unless I can come up with a good High Epic (or buy one off of Voidus ) my main character will be Jingleberry, a mistletoe-controlling Epic who'd work as a fertility goddess / henchman for anyone who acknowledges her as some form of deity. That sounds good. Then we can move on to the CM War itself, and through that, CHAOS. I mean, uh, more fun for everybody.
  17. Kobold King
    Chuck Norris attends Sanderson conventions cosplaying as Kelsier.
  18. Kobold King
    * stabs * "Augh! Austre's blush, stab people who are not me!"
  19. Kobold King
    This is Moral Guardian we're talking about. His enemy is toplessness, not urbicide.
  20. Kobold King
    Satan probably downvotes it. But that doesn't matter, because each of us has the option to either upvote or downvote God and His Creation. And there are more than enough good humans on this planet to cancel out demonic downvotes. This has been Solid Religious Metaphors with Kobold King. Tune in next week for The Importance of Prayer: Or, Why to Private Message God Daily. I wonder how Moral Guardian felt about Obliteration sitting shirtless for a week in the middle of Houston.
  21. Kobold King
    Don't worry. If you're jealous I wouldn't mind making you one.
  22. Kobold King
    Granted. It is cursed and your spirit is sucked from your body like lint before a vacuum cleaner. Your soul will be imprisoned within the popsicle stick until the end of the world. I wish for the ability to teleport onto alien planets.
  23. Kobold King
    I sometimes like to think that when I upvote awesome images of nature, I'm upvoting God Himself. Is that wrong? I like him! He's definitely a Destructor worthy of the name. One question though... Since his passive ability destroys all non-organic material automatically, wouldn't that disintegrate his clothing?
  24. Kobold King
    I suppose you could make an argument that sparkles are garish and conflict with models of Christian austerity...
  25. Kobold King
    Thanks. I was waiting to see if anyone would notice. You could have been TwiLyght Sand Sparkle. Or TwiLyght Sane Sparkle. Or TwiLyght Sads Sparkle. Or TwiLyght Bans Sparkle. Or TwiLyght Sins Sparkle. Or TwiLyght Sank Sparkle.
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