Kobold King

Sandersynthesis isn't for everyone, I suppose. If I ever got the chance to attend a Brandon Sanderson event, I'd honestly be quite torn on what I'd like him to sign--my copy of The Way of Kings, or a print-out of the Prof pony.

Wait--you're not able to synthesize calories out of reading new Sanderson books? What kind of Sanderfan are you? I wonder who'll end up ponifying Regalia and Obliteration first.

I'm still campaigning for the first Portland post to pass ten upvotes and become a popular post. Because it just feels wrong that it hasn't yet. I stare at the edit to your post, torn between congratulating you and gnashing my teeth in envy. (Congratulations. )

The Reckoners scheduled to assassinate him "tomorrow" three years ago.

Probably not. We'll probably be frolicking on the spoiler board on a Sanderson-induced high before regaining enough consciousness to remember the RP. Though I just want to be remembered on the record as the first Oregon RPer to have mentioned Regalia.

"Match"? I was hoping for something more along the lines of "a ridiculously one-sided curbstomp battle."

Hmm... I know it's a popular suggestion, but I can't at all see Henry Cavill as Steelheart. Perhaps I'm raising the bar too high, but to me, Steelheart should blur the line between grizzled barbarian and magnificent demigod. He should have the charisma to dominate any scene he takes part in and the voice to spark fear in the cast and the audience alike. It's a tall order, but Steelheart's defining characteristic is the fear he ignites in the hearts of men. The audience should find themselves completely unable to imagine not being afraid of this character. Perhaps this is my lack of imagination talking, but I can't see Henry Cavill radiating that particular kind of presence. EDIT: [fluttershy voice] Um, well, that's just my subjective opinion. There are good points to be made on the other side as well. [/fluttershy voice]

Heck, I wouldn't mind if Liam Neeson played both Prof and Steelheart. Liam Neeson is epic enough to shoulder my willing suspension of disbelief. And can you imagine how awesome that final fight scene would be?

Even I've had a hard time keeping up. And my upvote quota has been thoroughly exhausted.

Where I live I hear the cries of the local coyote pack at least once a month--more often once a week. We haven't yet collared any of our cats, out of the fear that the collars would snag on one of Texas' abundant twisted bushes and give the coyotes an easy snack. Besides which, we're remote enough so that cats being lost and found isn't a likely event. Also, at least one of them would probably rip your hand off if you tried.

That is adorable. My cats would probably murder me in my sleep if I tried putting scarves or ribbons on them. "Good dog."

I plead guilty of not knowing who Julian Smith is. Probably a girl pug. A playful pug would run far too high a risk of annoying Lightwards or one of the other Epics there. A more cuddly pug would be content to have Sam carry her around all day. Also, I accidentally upvoted your post while trying to quote it. That could have turned out way worse, eh?

We await patiently. I was going to suggest a fawn colored pug to separate it from Nighthound as much as possible, but now that you mention it that does sound pretty cute. And it would fit Sam's general aesthetic.

Let's see... Reader is still captured. Vondra is still coming to rescue him. Shiny Sparkle is still flirting. Backtrack is still whining. Glamour is still playing mood appropriate music. Scribbler is still scribbling. Frequency is still killing things. I don't think anything in particular needs changing. Antarctica has more penguins than any other continent. Antarctica has the fewest taxes of any continent.

There should be at least one scene where the Protector Pug meets Wes. Today I learned Australia has no icecaps for tax reasons.

You try capturing a teleporting kookaburra running rampant through your house, and then we'll talk. Also, the image of Sam hugging a pug might actually make up for all the nightmarish scenes with Quota, Timeport, Electro, and Nighthound. It's happening as soon as I can manage it.

Weird. I think my heart just swelled three sizes. There's a postal service in Australia? I always assumed Australians kept in touch with each other by tying messages to kookaburras and sending them across the country. You know, like Americans do with eagles.

I don't have any experience with either breed, so I'd be happy either way. Pug it is! My family's allergic to wheat flour, but I'm always up for drooling at birthday cake over the Internet. Remember to put the Question thread's URL as the return address.

I can very definitely approve of Sam getting a chimera-puppy. Though both from the commands the dogs were given and a certain child's state of affairs, the little girl who survived Timeport's slaughter is in far more need of chimeric companionship. One birthday right after the other? If you two lived in the same household, there'd be cake two days in a row! As it is, I'll have to remember to say "Happy Birthday" in one way or another on both the 9th and the 10th. I'll be sure to eat enough cake to commemorate you both.

Summon Bigger Fish? Darths and Droids? Granted. All the universe except Saudi Arabia ends in a fiery cataclysm. I hope for your sake that you were in Saudi Arabia when you made your wish. I wish for an orange soda.

THESE WORDS ARE ACCEPTED.

Epic!Disneyland. The reason why Mobius chose north California to build her city. I think it'd be a little creepier if Hans and Arendelle were only a district within the larger Disneytopia, ruled by a small child who's proclaimed himself to be Mickey Mouse. "Mickey" was one of the younger children Calamity granted powers to, maybe only four or five. He essentially used his powers to force the world to adhere to his bizarre imagination; perhaps in addition to the inhibition-lowering, he can also cause people to lapse into extended shared hallucinations. The vanillas dressed as wildebeests and zebras and the like thus actually believe they're animals. Other inhabitants actually believe they're in a medieval fairy tale land. And Mickey himself sits in the middle of it all, giggling delightedly that the world's playing along with his games. Yeah, it can be tricky navigating between the PM conversations and the Question threads. I'll write a short Sam flashback after Altermind's next post, then.

Whoops. I, uh... I wish for a serving of chouta.

Thans. I almost wonder if we should post a Thoughttown flashback just to show why Sam doesn't like AM, or else this could get confusing for everybody else. I didn't forget him. Actually I was kind of hoping to include Lightwards' thoughts on him. But I didn't see his name on the list of Epics Flashpoint was describing to the Empire.

Sam scribbled at first. At first, nothing legible. Just spirals and sharp lines and little black holes that ate up part of the page. It was surprising how stress-relieving it was proving to be. Ignoring the drone of Lightwards' and Altermind's conversation; ignoring the friend turned zombie looming nearby; ignoring the rainbow-dressed psychopath that brought all this into her life in the first place. Just lead meeting paper, while forcing the water back into her eyes. Soon she moved past the scribbling stage and moved on to basic rude observations; the villainous goatee Intervention sported, the slightly dim-witted way Flashpoint kept watch over the table, and so on. She was considering writing the outline for a Lightwards and Altermind romance novel when it happened. The pen rebelled. It was a subtle rebellion. Sam tried to dot an 'i' and the pen wouldn't move. It hung stiffly in her hand, not budging an inch. She stiffened in her seat, letting go of the wayward instrument. What did that glittering creep give me? she thought fearfully. A weapon? A bomb? A-- Her train of thought trailed off in alarm as the pen moved suddenly, sliding across the page in a series of deft movements. In smooth strokes, it scribbled out a sentence in clean, almost immaculate handwriting. Hello, Miss Trattner, the pen wrote, Yes, I remember you. Excited to see me? Sam stared at the paper, heart pounding in her chest. Was it... it couldn't... he couldn't... The pen was limp and uncontrolled once again. Clearly its master intended for her to write with it. Whoever that master was. Her eyes drifted towards the tall man across the table from her. Altermind, seated with a stoic expression across his face. Staring motionlessly across the table as his lieutenant described enemy Epics. She looked down again at the paper, thinking of what to say. Not much came to mind. How were you supposed to greet a dictator? Scratch that. Saying what she was supposed to say wouldn't work at all. So instead, she pressed a pen to the paper and began to scrawl. Hello, Altermind. Didn't think you'd recognize me. And yeah! I've wanted to meet you for a long time. Of course, I kind of hoped you'd be tied up and I'd have a crowbar. But I guess this will do. For the first time in the meeting a small smile twitched at her face. Satisfied, Sam inconspicuously lifted the clipboard and held it over her shoulder, pointing it at where she was pretty sure Altermind was hiding. She didn't know what the blonde slontze wanted. But he was sparking sure not getting it. And if Sam had her way, he'd regret starting this conversation at all. The building shook as Doctor Funtimes showcased her might. Lightwards sat stiffly as the house around him shook, mentally ordering Pamela to stand up again when the shaking caused her to fall over. He mentally ran through the list of Epics Flashpoint had described. None of them sounded particularly threatening. Toymaker's creations had proven more useful to the Empire than to CorpseMaker himself. The chief threat of Streetwise was easily neutralized. Leech from the sound of it was barely an Epic at all, and Quota's sole power amounted to little more than making people sad. Even Electro was little more than human artillery. The minions would fall readily, Lightwards was sure. It was their master, the immortal basilisk, who would prove the challenge. Fortunately, he had the faint beginnings of a plan concerning him. Lightwards cleared his throat irritably. "Now that we're out of Streewise's hearing, shall we decide upon a course of action? The Epics at my disposal should prove more than enough to handle his servants. CorpseMaker himself will prove more of a challenge. Now I ask: have you or have you not developed a plan for disposing of him?"