Kobold King
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Everything posted by Kobold King
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Somehow the fact that they're present across the whole Internet just makes them more alarming. Speak again the ancient oaths, Chaos. Return to members the Shards they once bore. The Spamstorm is coming.
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In an Oregon that's forced to subsist entirely without imports, I think Sausage McMuffins would be the normal food of choice. Of course, the destruction of Oregon may have occurred when everybody got high blood pressure and perished from sheer processed food overload. Megan's claims of devastated trees and cities were derived from hallucinations brought on by the high quality of Big Al's sandwhiches.
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The Kobold smirked slightly. "I'm a lot of things, little wolf. I'm a necromancer forgin' utopia out of a thousand corpses. I'm a lost spirit with aspirations of bein' a crocodile. I'm a man in pink glasses who just wants to be respected. I'm an alien empress with a belt gilded with stolen planets. I'm an antlered pony with a crown on his flank." Still grinning, he pulled out a cigar rolled from Nyssan tobacco, lighting it with a snap of his claws and shoving one end into his mouth. "I'm the capo of a modest reptile's anti-trust violation. But all you need to know, Miss Cloud, is that I'm yer pal so long as you behave yerself." Still puffing on the imported cigar, the kobold turned around and headed towards the Newcago queen and the Dark Alley skulker.
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The intriguing thing about us being rendered definitively non-canon is that the ultimate fate of our version of Oregon would become suddenly a lot more ambiguous.
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Well, by loudly proclaiming what you are you've proven yourself wholly unsuited to the job. So by order of the King of Kharbranth, you are hereby fired.
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Assuming that gifters can be made out of terrible people. For all we know, we'll learn next Tuesday that Nighthound is completely and utterly impossible by the laws of Calamity. And there will be a terrible mixture of joy and vexation across the entire Question thread. Though if Brandon Sanderson ever does another Q&A on the forum, I'd like to ask him whether zombie-creating necromancers are possible in the Reckonerverse.
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I was thinking of writing a viewpoint for him once the pandas start pouring into the city. It'll be easier to illustrate his powers against beings that use weapons, as opposed to pigs or squirrels. And just for the record, no one thinks any the less of you for Nighthound's creepiness. It takes an excellent writer to create a memetic monstrosity like him. Am I the only one who just wanted to give that guy a big hug? All the Epics we'd met in the novel up to then were cold and murderous psychopaths. He was the first one that was just a cuddly old man with a tragic past and a sweet demeanor.
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Nope, and I like the idea. The only thing I would note is that such an Epic would probably have kept a relatively low profile, explaining why (s)he hasn't been mentioned as of yet. Granted, Redlight hasn't been mentioned in the RP yet either, and Vondra and Deathwish haven't even made appearances, so it's likely not an issue at all. When Nighthound uses the word "yes," it is offensive to half the world's population.
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Panda armies flooding the streets in earnest? I'm generally not clear on what other find offensive, but personally I see nothing wrong with Corporal Bibbuhs.
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Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)
Kobold King replied to killersquirrel59's topic in Forum Games & Random Stuff
Granted. You become a disembodied artificial intelligence uploaded to the Internet. I wish that all the cats of the world liked me. -
I'll just link to the Reckoners RPG board, then.
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That's a good point. Reckon I should link to the current Question thread in my signature, or to the Reckoners RPG board as a whole? I want to print it out on a t-shirt, which I'll wear under a wool vest. Then, whenever I'm out in public and someone asks a dumb question---BAM! I lift up the vest and the perpetrators of the clueless query get an eyeful of disappointed Moral Guardian.
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the most useless uses for useful powers
Kobold King replied to king of nowhere's topic in Cosmere Discussion
Use a Shardblade to open a childproof bottle. There's no kill like overkill, especially where those infuriating caps are concerned. -
Let me stress this: the absolute worse thing he can do is prompt me to make a comic where Electro is harassed by parasprites. So have no fear. Ponies are a match for any form of darkness.
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Sorry for not replying to this. I was busy making the comic and didn't notice this. I'd prefer a Chimera POV, but an Electro post could be interesting too. And by interesting, I mean "utterly horrifying." I should do an entire series about Fluttershy subjecting the entire Oregon cast to The Stare. Because if anypony could stare down CorpseMaker, it'd be her. Celestia, of course, would have to be brought in to banish Nighthound to the moon.
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TwiLyght? Is it too late to take advantage of that free watermelon?
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Calamity that was dark. Just promise us one thing, TwiLyght? Make Quota suffer.
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His conscience, namely, but if he was going to start listening to it he'd have done so already.
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It's a shame, really. You'd think she and Quota could come to some sort of latte arrangement that doesn't play into Quota and Timeport's atrocity contest.
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Nope. She's all yours.
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Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)
Kobold King replied to killersquirrel59's topic in Forum Games & Random Stuff
Granted. Moriarty murders you as a way of sending a message to Holmes. I wish for the knowledge of how to repair TARDISes. -
Altermind thinks everyone is a moron. He could have walked away from Albert Einstein thinking about how much of an imbecile "that German guy" was. Just three more days! Three more days! Three more days! On that note, you're unlikely to be seeing much of me on Jan 06. I'm with TwiLyght in liking Flashpoint and Edgerunner the best, for all the same reasons.
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Remember: if writing Quota's next scene makes you need counseling, we're here for you. If nothing else, making Sweetfrost and Icecreaminator ponies might help your nerves.
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Has anyone else noticed that the standard for evil has been steadily rising through the whole RP? We began with Altermind, who as evil dictators go isn't that bad, and CorpseMaker, who at the time wasn't much worse than the average mob boss. Then Nighthound came, slaughtering a whole crowd of people on his first appearance. But Nighthound was an anomaly at first. One deranged maniac in a sea of relatively normal evils. Lightwards killed more people in his first appearances than most others (besides Nighthound), but he only killed about a dozen people for solely pragmatic reasons. Terrible, yes, but nothing like the rampant sadism that plagues Oregon today. Nighthound/Red fatalities are on the rise. Electro is destroying entire city blocks. Quota and Timeport are freely rampaging across the city and murdering everyone in their path. Quicksilver took out an entire fort in The Dalles. In short, we need Remington Springfield to quit fooling around and starting shooting.
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'Cuz it's not like MV likes him or anything. Möbius is far more powerful than Koschei. Granted they never actually met, but they're kind of our non-canon OTP.
