StanLemon Posted January 3, 2021 Posted January 3, 2021 44. Hoid is not allowed to imply that he is aware of the fourth wall 5
Kingsdaughter613 she/her Posted January 3, 2021 Posted January 3, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, StanLemon said: 44. Hoid is not allowed to imply that he is aware of the fourth wall 45. He is definitely not allowed to smash it. 46. And he is not allowed to claim he tripped and broke it by accident. 47. Nor is he allowed to blame Kelsier for pushing him, causing him to trip and accidentally break the fourth wall, as that would imply he violated rule 39. Edited January 3, 2021 by Kingsdaughter613 7
stonewalker16 Posted January 4, 2021 Posted January 4, 2021 48. Hoid must not stare into space as if he is a character on The Office who is looking at the camera 2
Aliroz-The-Confused Posted January 4, 2021 Posted January 4, 2021 49: Hoid must not paint the fourth wall. 50: Hoid must stop staring at the reader from within the book each time his name is read. 51: Hoid is not allowed to commission any more stained-glass windows. 3
Frustration Posted January 4, 2021 Posted January 4, 2021 52. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCE is Hoid to be given or allowed chloriform. 2
stonewalker16 Posted January 5, 2021 Posted January 5, 2021 53. Hoid may not steal Wayne's hat, as the resulting catastrophe would shake the entire cosmere 54. Hoid may not introduce The Lopen to Wayne or vice versa 2
happyman he/him Posted January 6, 2021 Posted January 6, 2021 On 1/4/2021 at 5:48 PM, stonewalker16 said: 54. Hoid may not introduce The Lopen to Wayne or vice versa (Gibbers in terror in the corner. "The quiping just never stopped!") 4
Chinkoln he/him Posted January 6, 2021 Posted January 6, 2021 55. Hoid cannot explain the reasons for his actions, because then everything he does would actually make sense 1
Jasqueen she/her Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 On 24/11/2020 at 6:55 PM, Frustration said: Just because human are edible does not mean you should eat them. Wait, what? Did I miss some thing in mistborn?
Chinkoln he/him Posted January 8, 2021 Posted January 8, 2021 5 hours ago, Jasqueen said: Wait, what? Did I miss some thing in mistborn? No, this is just a comprehensive list of "If it could possibly be not allowed, include it, no matter how farfetched or absurd it sounds" also, Minor Well of Ascension spoiler Spoiler That rule may be in reference to when Sazed was running back to Luthadel. He found the village that was deserted because the mist had stayed all day. There was one man left who was surviving off cannibalism of all his former friends and family 1
jamesbondsmith He/him Posted January 10, 2021 Author Posted January 10, 2021 @Jasqueen The original list that inspired this including things like 'must not drink three quarts of red food colouring then scream during my urine test' and 'not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post', so it's not meant to be serious at all. Which gives me an idea: 56) Sending my Awakened uniform in my place does not as doing my shift on guard duty. Even if each individual garment would technically increase the numbers of 'guardsmen'. 2
Kingsdaughter613 she/her Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 (edited) On 1/10/2021 at 8:41 AM, jamesbondsmith said: @Jasqueen The original list that inspired this including things like 'must not drink three quarts of red food colouring then scream during my urine test' and 'not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post', so it's not meant to be serious at all. Which gives me an idea: 56) Sending my Awakened uniform in my place does not as doing my shift on guard duty. Even if each individual garment would technically increase the numbers of 'guardsmen'. 58: And awakened undergarments do not count as weapons, even if described as WMDs (weapons of mass displeasure.) 59: Hoid is not allowed to mess with this list by causing it to mysteriously have two listings for item 33. Edited January 12, 2021 by Kingsdaughter613 5
stonewalker16 Posted January 12, 2021 Posted January 12, 2021 60: Hoid is not allowed to criticize Adonalism's creative style by saying that Roshar is stupid, or that he could do a better job 2
MyAegis he/him Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 61) Hoid is not allowed to begin a shardblade-based mining operation in the Shin region. Yes, it is technically an untapped market, but you know it is culturally insensitive. 62) Hoid is hearby granted full control over the millitary actions of the Knights Radiant in Urithiru No, he's not 63) Disregard 62 64) Hoid is not allowed to edit the contents of this list 5
stonewalker16 Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 8 hours ago, MyAegis said: 64) Hoid is not allowed to edit the contents of this list He didn't edit them, but he did try to curse us out for making them earler in the thread 1
Flyingbooks Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 On 1/4/2021 at 3:37 PM, Frustration said: 52. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCE is Hoid to be given or allowed chloriform. 52b. Hoid is also not allowed to teach the Singers how to go into chloro-form 4
Aliroz-The-Confused Posted January 30, 2021 Posted January 30, 2021 65): Hoid is no longer allowed to ask if Bridge Four can "Smell what the Rock is cooking". 65): Hoid must stop paying people to make forged documents in steel and selling them to the scholars of Terris as ancient documents. 66): If the idea makes him grin for more than sixteen consecutive minutes, or giggle for more than ten, Hoid must ask permission from at least one being older than himself before doing it. 66a): "Silence implies consent" does not apply as a means of obtaining permission. 66b): "Myself, in the future" does not count as being older than oneself for the above purposes. 66c): Neither does "Myself, in the past" count, despite technically being a being that existed before oneself. 5
Kingsdaughter613 she/her Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 4 hours ago, Aliroz-The-Confused said: 65): Hoid is no longer allowed to ask if Bridge Four can "Smell what the Rock is cooking". 65): Hoid must stop paying people to make forged documents in steel and selling them to the scholars of Terris as ancient documents. 66): If the idea makes him grin for more than sixteen consecutive minutes, or giggle for more than ten, Hoid must ask permission from at least one being older than himself before doing it. 66a): "Silence implies consent" does not apply as a means of obtaining permission. 66b): "Myself, in the future" does not count as being older than oneself for the above purposes. 66c): Neither does "Myself, in the past" count, despite technically being a being that existed before oneself. 68: Hoid is to stop ruining the count.
Fezzik Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 Rule 69: I am seizing it in order to render it harmless. 4
Frustration Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 70. Hoid is no longer allowed to clone himself, 70b: healing into two people counts as cloning. 1
Hoid the Former Drifter he/him Posted February 12, 2021 Posted February 12, 2021 On 12/20/2020 at 11:28 PM, Kingsdaughter613 said: 39: Hoid is NEVER allowed to be within a mile of Kelsier (or vice versa) without a suitable intermediary. Only Sazed counts as suitable, as nothing short of a Shard can contain either of them, and Saze is the best of the Shards. Also the only one on Scadrial. 40: Related to the above, Hoid is not allowed to trick random people into unwittingly declaring war on Scadrial to mess with Kelsier. 41: Similarly, he may not trick random people into unwittingly declaring war on whatever group Warbreaker (under whatever name he is currently using) has joined. 42: Nor may he trick random people into causing trouble for Wan ShaiLu. 43: He is also not allowed to attend the ‘Hoid is an Asshole’ club annual gatherings, even if he agrees with the premise. (To start with Kelsier will be there, violating rule 39.) Ok, if i violate these, you have no chance of hurting me, so what're you gonna do? I already violated the ones that I am physically able to! 1
Kingsdaughter613 she/her Posted February 12, 2021 Posted February 12, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Hoid the Drifter said: Ok, if i violate these, you have no chance of hurting me, so what're you gonna do? I already violated the ones that I am physically able to! Tell Sazed. Then he won’t be nice and welcoming to you anymore. He’s not exactly going to thrilled about violations to rule 40. He also doesn’t appreciate it when you and Kell try to beat each other up as Fullborn vs. Mistborn tends to cause significant environmental damage even before off-world Investiture gets involved. Edited February 12, 2021 by Kingsdaughter613
Hoid the Former Drifter he/him Posted February 12, 2021 Posted February 12, 2021 1 minute ago, Kingsdaughter613 said: Tell Sazed. Then he won’t be nice and welcoming to you anymore. He’s not exactly going to thrilled about violations to rule 40. He also doesn’t appreciate it when you and Kell try to beat each other up as Fullborn vs. Mistborn tends to cause significant environmental damage even before off-world Investiture gets involved. wait, one of us is a fullborn? also, i can't beat him up in the physu=ical realm anyway, so these powers should be irrelevant
Kingsdaughter613 she/her Posted February 12, 2021 Posted February 12, 2021 8 minutes ago, Hoid the Drifter said: wait, one of us is a fullborn? also, i can't beat him up in the physu=ical realm anyway, so these powers should be irrelevant We don’t actually know that... and Kelsier is Fullborn (probably), so his attempts to beat you up will likely cause large scale damage.
Frustration Posted February 12, 2021 Posted February 12, 2021 25 minutes ago, Hoid the Drifter said: Ok, if i violate these, you have no chance of hurting me, so what're you gonna do? I already violated the ones that I am physically able to! *pats nightblood* 3
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