Certified Gay Disasters

[Akimikoisthecutest]

Is it bad that I've never came out to someone face to face? I've always texted or used notes, or they've found out on their own?

[Aeoryi she/her]

20 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

basedbasedbasedbased

if you want I can tell you kinda about my experience on HRT (only been on it for like 4 months but I also have done some reasearch)

sure please do!

5 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Is it bad that I've never came out to someone face to face? I've always texted or used notes, or they've found out on their own?

No, but coming out in person is preferenced in general.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

sure please do!

Did you see her post?

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

7 hours ago, Honors Ghost said:

Idk people call me honor but that’s not rly a nickname

mmmmm fair

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

9 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

Ok yeah I'll give a whole post for this for anyone who wants it [ @Honors Ghost, @Akimikoisthecutest, in case you find this helpful]

So, for some context, I've been on a somewhat low dose, with estrogen patches (I leave them on my skin throughout the day, changing it twice a week), though I'm going to see a doctor about changing dose soon.

So, there weren't really any effects for the first two months. I think the first difference I noticed was a slight shift in sexuality. Still super into women, but it was less intense, and then more intense... It's hard to put into words. I hear it shifts more over time, and is different for different people. I have a friend on feminizing HRT who says that after 9 months, it feels objectively better though. (Your specific orientation may of course be different than mine). The other thing I noticed was a pain on my nipples. These were, of course, my breasts growing. Now, they've taken a really long time, despite them being around for like 2 months now, they're still really tiny. They're supposed to take years to grow fully, and my low dose probably makes them slower. Still, they have little growth spurts, not growing for weeks, and then growing a lot at once.

I also experienced, and I don't remember exactly when, massive reductions in dysphoria. Namely, I no longer feel bottom dysphoria. (I still would prefer the other genitals, but I don't hate my current stuff.)

It's also supposed to change body structure to more feminine, which I haven't noticed, but I feel like I look more feminine, so I might have just not been observant.

thxxxx that’s rly interesting 

I happy you feeling better in gener

Al

[Hmmm lies she/her]

9 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

Ok yeah I'll give a whole post for this for anyone who wants it [ @Honors Ghost, @Akimikoisthecutest, in case you find this helpful]

So, for some context, I've been on a somewhat low dose, with estrogen patches (I leave them on my skin throughout the day, changing it twice a week), though I'm going to see a doctor about changing dose soon.

So, there weren't really any effects for the first two months. I think the first difference I noticed was a slight shift in sexuality. Still super into women, but it was less intense, and then more intense... It's hard to put into words. I hear it shifts more over time, and is different for different people. I have a friend on feminizing HRT who says that after 9 months, it feels objectively better though. (Your specific orientation may of course be different than mine). The other thing I noticed was a pain on my nipples. These were, of course, my breasts growing. Now, they've taken a really long time, despite them being around for like 2 months now, they're still really tiny. They're supposed to take years to grow fully, and my low dose probably makes them slower. Still, they have little growth spurts, not growing for weeks, and then growing a lot at once.

I also experienced, and I don't remember exactly when, massive reductions in dysphoria. Namely, I no longer feel bottom dysphoria. (I still would prefer the other genitals, but I don't hate my current stuff.)

It's also supposed to change body structure to more feminine, which I haven't noticed, but I feel like I look more feminine, so I might have just not been observant.

Oh I forgot, I'm also taking spironolactone pills, a puberty blocker. 

[Keke They/he]

*spawns* 

guys gay hugs are being asked for

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

2 hours ago, Keke said:

*spawns* 

guys gay hugs are being asked for

*hugs*

I'm not exactly gay but *hugs* anyway

How are you doing?

[Keke They/he]

Just now, Ink and Embers said:

*hugs*

I'm not exactly gay but *hugs* anyway

How are you doing?

Im doing something but idk how I am. 

I guess im numb on the side of sad

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

Just now, Keke said:

Im doing something but idk how I am. 

I guess im numb on the side of sad

*hugs a lot*

[Keke They/he]

Just now, Ink and Embers said:

*hugs a lot*

*flops into hug*

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

Just now, Keke said:

*flops into hug*

*hugs more*

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

2 hours ago, Keke said:

*spawns* 

guys gay hugs are being asked for

*hugs gayly*

[Shatter He/Him]

2 hours ago, Keke said:

*spawns* 

guys gay hugs are being asked for

*hugs*

Call me if you need to. I'm just about always available.

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

2 hours ago, Keke said:

*spawns* 

guys gay hugs are being asked for

*tackle hugs*

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 hours ago, Keke said:

*spawns* 

guys gay hugs are being asked for

 

 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

@Aeoryi

Yall any tips for journaling (abt trans stuff)?

[Aeoryi she/her]

10 minutes ago, Theory said:

@Aeoryi

Yall any tips for journaling (abt trans stuff)?

write everything that comes to your mind including if nothing does or if you're not feeling in the mood to journal or that kind of thing. Or even if you're not talking about trans stuff. 

Also helps to write your perspective on things at the moment, things that matter to you (for example, I wrote a lot about the fact that no one really knows too much about what progesterone actually does) - it can help to see how your perspective changes over time. 

If you're really hard stuck, try writing a narrative about your life and your own story and then revisit it later on. (This particularly was quite helpful for me).

I think the most important thing to do when journaling is to avoid keeping secrets from your journal- if you're afraid to admit something on paper, write that down, but don't keep secrets from your own mind. It'll just cause problems later down the line. (And no, people won't read what you write and if they do you're probably already going to get into problems anyways)

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

write everything that comes to your mind including if nothing does or if you're not feeling in the mood to journal or that kind of thing. Or even if you're not talking about trans stuff. 

Also helps to write your perspective on things at the moment, things that matter to you (for example, I wrote a lot about the fact that no one really knows too much about what progesterone actually does) - it can help to see how your perspective changes over time. 

If you're really hard stuck, try writing a narrative about your life and your own story and then revisit it later on. (This particularly was quite helpful for me).

I think the most important thing to do when journaling is to avoid keeping secrets from your journal- if you're afraid to admit something on paper, write that down, but don't keep secrets from your own mind. It'll just cause problems later down the line. (And no, people won't read what you write and if they do you're probably already going to get into problems anyways)

Wow that actually helps. I guess I needed to hear that. Not sure why. Also...is it fine to write the journal on my computer? Like type it in a document or something? Because...I suck at handwriting and can't keep up with what I want to say.

I might worry more about the privacy tho if I use my computer...

Especially a document (MS Word, Google Docs, etc.)

Edited January 21 by Theory

[Aeoryi she/her]

26 minutes ago, Theory said:

Wow that actually helps. I guess I needed to hear that. Not sure why. Also...is it fine to write the journal on my computer? Like type it in a document or something? Because...I suck at handwriting and can't keep up with what I want to say.

I might worry more about the privacy tho if I use my computer...

Especially a document (MS Word, Google Docs, etc.)

I find handwriting nice exactly for the reason you're repulsed from it. Because it forces you to slow down, control your thoughts, and develop them fully, it's better for me. It's also great for handwriting training (if you want to do things like that). However, that's my preference, and many people choose to keep theirs on a digital thing like Google docs (MS word is garbage for other reasons). It's easier to type and as long as you have access to it episodically, it should be fine. 

The most important thing to do when journaling is to start. It's more difficult near the beginning, because you don't have the pressure of the pages you've wrote before. After that, making it a habit is equally important. 

If you're worried about privacy, name the document something else (something like "baking recipes") and just add a note at the start for others to respect your privacy. This might help if you use shared devices.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

11 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

as long as you have access to it episodically, it should be fine. 

huh?

11 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

The most important thing to do when journaling is to start. It's more difficult near the beginning, because you don't have the pressure of the pages you've wrote before. After that, making it a habit is equally important.

I actually wrote over 900 words in the time it took u to respond (not meant to sound rude), and realized I might be asexual, because I literally had thoughts a couple months/years back and probably multiple times that now sound verrrrry ace. Tho I'll have to research aro ace some more since I know next to nothing aside from the definitions. So I guess the journaling is going good lol.

I also wondered that a few days ago here if u recall.

Also I'm realizing that maybe all the times I was "attracted" to people could've been gender envy. Or ace attraction? Idk how this all works i need to look it up.

Actually maybe I'm alloromantic? I mean I only just learned that term a few seconds ago so idk.

Or maybe I'm aro ace? Which I think means both aromantic and asexual but I always thought it meant aro/ace not aro & ace. Help...

11 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

If you're worried about privacy, name the document something else (something like "baking recipes") and just add a note at the start for others to respect your privacy. This might help if you use shared devices.

Good idea, thx. I don't use a shared device but still.

Edited January 21 by Theory

[Akimikoisthecutest]

44 minutes ago, Theory said:

I actually wrote over 900 words in the time it took u to respond (not meant to sound rude), and realized I might be asexual, because I literally had thoughts a couple months/years back and probably multiple times that now sound verrrrry ace. Tho I'll have to research aro ace some more since I know next to nothing aside from the definitions. So I guess the journaling is going good lol.

I also wondered that a few days ago here if u recall.

Also I'm realizing that maybe all the times I was "attracted" to people could've been gender envy. Or ace attraction? Idk how this all works i need to look it up.

Actually maybe I'm alloromantic? I mean I only just learned that term a few seconds ago so idk.

Or maybe I'm aro ace? Which I think means both aromantic and asexual but I always thought it meant aro/ace not aro & ace. Help...

I can answer any questions you have about being AroAce

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

6 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

I can answer any questions you have about being AroAce

Yes pls.

Are u aroace? What's it like? How do you know?

Basically I realized that I am kinda...not interested, or even possibly disgusted but idk - when I actually think - about it in you-know-what (idk if I can say it on the Shard). And the thoughts I mentioned were that I really wanted a relationship that basically involved, like, cuddling and stuff. And talking to each other. And all that. Like a friendship but where you're closer to the person and yeah. Idk. I also might not even be aroace idk but I might be.

Also what's the terminology? Like what specifically does "aro ace"/"AroAce" mean? Does it mean you are both asexual and aromantic? Or just a general term form "asexual and/or aromantic"? Also I'm reading up a bit on it cuz I know very little.

 

@Akimikoisthecutest

Edit: Also I'm reading a website about aroace so hopefully I'll get an answer to the question I don't really wanna ask here.

Edited January 21 by Theory

[Akimikoisthecutest]

5 minutes ago, Theory said:

Basically I realized that I am kinda...not interested - when I actually think - about it in you-know-what (idk if I can say it on the Shard). And the thoughts I mentioned were that I really wanted a relationship that basically involved, like, cuddling and stuff. And talking to each other. And all that. Like a friendship but where you're closer to the person and yeah. Idk. I also might not even be aroace idk but I might be.

Also what's the terminology? Like what specifically does "aro ace"/"AroAce" mean? Does it mean you are both asexual and aromantic? Or just a general term form "asexual and/or aromantic"? Also I'm reading up a bit on it cuz I know very little.

Yes I am AroAce, I think. I could be sapphic but I doubt it. I know because I'm not really interested in any kind of a relationship except for platonic. The thought of me having sex makes me want to puke. I'm just not really attracted to anyone. You can mention sex on the Shard if it is in conversations like these. It sounds like you might just be asexual because that sounds like a QPR or a romantic relationship. 

 

AroAce is both asexual and aromantic. There are a lot of other things that fall into these categories, like graysexual/romantic, demisexual/romantic, Aro/Aceflux and so many others! 

Edited January 21 by Akimikoisthecutest

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

3 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

The thought of me having sex makes me want to puke

It's hard for me to decide if that's me or not. I think I sometimes feel like that. Or it depends. I actually edited my post to include something similar.

Edited January 22 by Theory