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Posted

Thinking about that interaction, Enter a username searched for his name for what was probably the billionth time. I had a name. What was it? But just like all the other times, he came up blank. That was when he did something he'd never done before- he voluntarily let go of the pieces of his mind, hoping that buried somewhere within- what was it? His subconscious? His soul? His spirit? His Essence? 

Posted (edited)
45 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

Queen turned in shock, realizing that he had meant to let her hear that. She didn't need help, did she? She was a part of a group again, wasn't that enough? She had moved forward with her life and was happy with the way it was...right? A single tear slipped down her cheek. Odd. She hadn't even noticed it until it dropped onto her hand, and it was the only one, her eyes were perfectly dry besides. She looked into Fadran's eyes, searching for an answer as to why he had wanted her to hear.

Fadran met her eyes. "It's alright to let others into your life--especially when you don't know if you need them."

Quote

Well, um, that was beautiful, and I am definitely not close to tears. That was exactly what my character needed. Wow.

Quote

I've spent a lot of time studying character arcs, flaws, and development. As an aspiring author, that's kind of necessary. Putting those messages to other characters into words is the difficult part, so here's just a little tidbit of writing advice: When writing emotional scenes, don't stop and think about things. Let the emotions flow through you, and what you need to write for your character, the readers, and most importantly yourself will spill out.

 

Edited by Channelknight Fadran
Posted
1 hour ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

Fadran met her eyes. "It's alright to let others into your life--especially when you don't know if you need them."

Queen checked in on herself before replying. She had no more tears, didn't feel like she was about to cry, all in all, pretty good for being about to enter the most difficult subject of her life. 

"The last time I let someone else into my life, he ended up dead, and it was my fault. He was the most important thing to me, and I led him on a fool's quest. I was the one who decided to join with a group, even though I could tell that they didn't have our best interests at heart. I guess... ever since I lost Journey, I've been afraid that I'll lose everyone I let in, so I closed myself off to the outside world, everyone except for Tchanta, my guide, but she isn't really a person, she's more like an animal. Besides, she wasn't on the outside--she was a part of me. Still is. It's almost like she became my conscience, although she doesn't do a very good job of it. I... do need help. I've spent so much time by myself that I don't know how to open myself up, though. Is there anything you can do?"

She looked at Fadran with unexpecting, yet pleading eyes. She knew it was unlikely that anyone could understand how she really felt, even she had no idea, but he had helped Enter, who had a shattered mind, so if anyone could help her, it was him. 

Tchanta's voice sounded in her mind; a calming force amongst the waves of anxiety that had plagued Queen since the day she lost her fiance. You should really relax, my queen. You deserve a break, so let yourself take one. Let yourself be helped. You may have admitted that you need help, but you still aren't open to it.

Tchanta was right. It was time for Queen to stop worrying unnecessarily.

Quote

This is frustrating. I can hardly express my own emotions, how do I express a fictional character's??

 

Posted
2 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

Queen checked in on herself before replying. She had no more tears, didn't feel like she was about to cry, all in all, pretty good for being about to enter the most difficult subject of her life. 

"The last time I let someone else into my life, he ended up dead, and it was my fault. He was the most important thing to me, and I led him on a fool's quest. I was the one who decided to join with a group, even though I could tell that they didn't have our best interests at heart. I guess... ever since I lost Journey, I've been afraid that I'll lose everyone I let in, so I closed myself off to the outside world, everyone except for Tchanta, my guide, but she isn't really a person, she's more like an animal. Besides, she wasn't on the outside--she was a part of me. Still is. It's almost like she became my conscience, although she doesn't do a very good job of it. I... do need help. I've spent so much time by myself that I don't know how to open myself up, though. Is there anything you can do?"

She looked at Fadran with unexpecting, yet pleading eyes. She knew it was unlikely that anyone could understand how she really felt, even she had no idea, but he had helped Enter, who had a shattered mind, so if anyone could help her, it was him. 

Tchanta's voice sounded in her mind; a calming force amongst the waves of anxiety that had plagued Queen since the day she lost her fiance. You should really relax, my queen. You deserve a break, so let yourself take one. Let yourself be helped. You may have admitted that you need help, but you still aren't open to it.

Tchanta was right. It was time for Queen to stop worrying unnecessarily.

Fadran bit his lip, thinking for a moment. "I've lost people too... we all have. There are even those who don't think they have, but really did. It isn't your fault, though." He continues thinking. "If I could... get you to sign your name, I might be able to help you better. Find the pain at its source and ease its flow. I can't stop it--I don't want to stop it. Feeling remorse for a past mistake is important to redeeming yourself, but half the battle is moving on. Dwelling on the past will take you nowhere--even I, a mage who can control time itself, can't take back my past actions."

He holds out a pad and paper. "So... let me help you. Please."

7 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

This is frustrating. I can hardly express my own emotions, how do I express a fictional character's??

Quote

To be completely honest, I can't very well answer that question. I'm trash at expressing my own emotions IRL as well. I can't be certain, but it's probably different for different people.

 

Posted
Just now, Channelknight Fadran said:

Fadran bit his lip, thinking for a moment. "I've lost people too... we all have. There are even those who don't think they have, but really did. It isn't your fault, though." He continues thinking. "If I could... get you to sign your name, I might be able to help you better. Find the pain at its source and ease its flow. I can't stop it--I don't want to stop it. Feeling remorse for a past mistake is important to redeeming yourself, but half the battle is moving on. Dwelling on the past will take you nowhere--even I, a mage who can control time itself, can't take back my past actions."

He holds out a pad and paper. "So... let me help you. Please."

Queen let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. She opened her mouth to say something, then, changing her mind, grabbed the pen and paper, then hesitated. "I just... sign 'Queen?' No last name?"

Posted (edited)

"Sign your identity. If your identity is simply 'Queen,' then that's what you sign. It's not the letters in the name that matter, but rather your willingness to grant someone else your identity."

Quote

I be a'going to bed now. Night, y'all.

 

Edited by Channelknight Fadran
Posted
Just now, Channelknight Fadran said:

"Sign your identity. If your identity is simply 'Queen,' then that's what you sign. It's not the letters in the name that matter, but rather your willingness to grant someone else your identity."

Still hesitating, Queen held the pen above the sheet of paper before simply signing, 'Q.'

"That is who I am now. I am not a queen."

Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

I be a'going to bed now. Night, y'all.

Quote

Goodnight! I should probably sleep soon, too.

 

Edited by DramaQueen
Posted

Enter a username... is thinking. That's a surprise. While he normally feels... almost asleep after his mind comes apart. But this... this is more like dreaming. How strange. Maybe it had something to do with voluntarily letting go? Interesting. And is that... music? Music. Calming music. Are those hills? Yes, rolling hills. A mildly cloudy, sunny day. Some trees. It's as if... once he decides on something, it appears. More cognitive then the Cognitive Realm. And if he focuses... yes. Those are the voices of those in his group. The voices of his friends. Strange, how long he considered them that without even realizing it. 

Posted
14 hours ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

Velles finished tying off the last bandage. He tried to stand up. Pain shot through his body, and he immediately fell back down. Slowly, he began to stand once more. Rising an inch at a time, he began to straighten his back. For a very brief moment, Velles stood completely upright, but his strength gave out, and he had to lean on a wall for support.  

“I’m Emi,” the other girl said. She paused, considering something, then continued. “We have been here only for a moment. You know where are we?”

Velles shook his head. “Not a clue,” he said. “It looks familiar. Giant skyscrapers like we have at home. And yet... it’s seems different. And not just the plants. This whole place seems off. And those vine-birds prove it.”

Velles cocked his head, thinking for a moment. “I think we need to find water. It just feels... right.” 

“What’s a sky-scraper?” The girl asked. She blinked, then glanced around. A dull glow emanated from the horizon, and the strange buildings began to take form. Massive pillars, seeming to reach for the sky, still shrouded in shadow. She looked down at the vine-birds and shivered. They seemed even more out of place now.

“Water,” the girl echoed. Her stomach rumbled. “And... something to eat.”

@Emi

@Truthless of Shinovar

 

Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, DramaQueen said:

Still hesitating, Queen held the pen above the sheet of paper before simply signing, 'Q.'

"That is who I am now. I am not a queen."

Quote

Warning: Godmodding in process.

Fadran carefully takes the items back, slipping the pen behind his ear for later use. He grasps the paper between his thump and forefinger, Forging a Spirit Bond. It came quicker this time; more easily than Enter a Username's. Probably just because he had had some practice.

"A name is something that someone else gives you," Fadran begins, "but it can also be something you give yourself. Just like everything else, though it is influenced by others."

Queen's Spirit, written into nothing but a single Q on a piece of paper, began flooding into Fadran's mind. He started with recent events, and was gratified to find himself and the others amongst her most recent impressions. Making an influence--making a difference on somebody else's life--was what he lived for nowadays.

"Sometimes, we change our names. We feel we aren't deserving of them, or that they don't fit. In your case... you simply shortened it, left behind a piece of yourself that you feel you no longer need."

Traveling backwards in time, he began to find regret and sorrow. As he continued traveling back, it only continued, growing stronger.

And then--a memory. A very vibrant, painful memory.

"When we change our names, and our identity, it isn't because us ourselves feel like it must be different for our own benefit. It's always for something more than just ourselves; an event, an adversary, a friend."

He could hear screaming--Queen's screaming--and he could see blood among stones. The body of her most trusted, beloved, endeared friend was no longer breathing. His eyes no longer moved, his laugh no longer echoed off her soul, finding happiness where there was none. She was being pulled back by--something. A person? A thing? It didn't matter--they were taking her away from Journey.

The echoes of Tchanta's voice spoke to Queen--and, in turn, Fadran. Come, my queen! You must flee this place--it is no longer safe here.

Unconsciously, a tear slipped down Fadran's cheek: a small price to pay for helping someone bear a burden. "You feel as though you are no longer a queen, after being forced to leave Journey behind. You feel as though he is lost forever. You're afraid of losing anyone else to the void of death."

Fadran continued going back in time, and found the end of the break. Queen was a happy, loved, and satisfied person. There wasn't a person in the world who didn't love her. Even Journey, one of the few who she had ever loved back, served as her best friend and most trusted advisor. He made her life worth living.

"You miss him when he was here." Fadran says. "You think he's gone... but he isn't. Not truly. You keep his memory as a part of yourself. You push away others because you fear that the same fate will happen to them. Maybe it will--there's no way to tell. But they... we... keep his Spirit with you. Just as he was always by your side, we will help you."

He returned to the break in Queen's Spirit, reliving her memory of Jouney's death. If there were any tears brimming at his eyes from the overpowering fear and loss, he couldn't feel them.

"You don't have to be a queen. You don't have to stand alone where no one else will stand with you. It isn't the letters in the name that matter, it's the meaning behind them. If Q is the person who will let others into her life, and let others help her, then that's all you need."

Fadran nodded, and slipped Q's paper into his pocket next to Enter a Username's. "And I don't know if it matters to you... but you're a queen to me."

Edited by Channelknight Fadran
Posted

Jaxevist walked with his head down, trying his best to ignore the crowds of workers and drones that the group passed by as they made their way towards the center of the Outpost. It was fairly pointless, of course, as his latent powers made the... altered ones instantly apparent to him regardless. But at least it meant he didn't have to look at their eyes.

Most people would have called the gazes of the lesser Hyxali empty or even soulless, but he'd spent enough time around Hyxali workers and drones to be able to read their alien expressions. It wasn't that they pointedly ignored him, pretending that he was no more than a piece of garbage on the road- he'd seen his shares of those in other places, but not here. It wasn't that their expressions were angry and vengeful, full of unreleased frustration. He'd seen his shares of those, too, and he sympathized with them. It wasn't even that the stares were empty, loss and sorrow reflecting in hollow gazes. He'd seen that, too, and it twisted his soul- but the stares of the Hyxali were much, much worse.

They were adoring.

Hate me! he wanted to scream. I'm a monster, not a hero! But it would have done no good. He'd lost his temper and shouted at a group of workers once before, and they'd just kept staring at him with those grateful, child-like expressions.

That was why, when his gaze caught a face frozen with horror staring at him, he was almost relieved.

----

Abigail watched through the window with astonishment. Walking down the tunnel towards Rekaerb's dwelling were a set of people she'd never thought she'd see again. Fadran, Nath, Ene, Vapor... with, of all holed, the High Chancellor. He was second only to the King himself- what was he doing here, in a backwater colony? And, more importantly, what was he doing with everyone else?

Curiosity got the better of her, and she stepped through the door to get a better look. She scanned the line one person at a time, noting the newcomers- until her eyes fell on the last person in the line. A holed. A red holed.

For a moment, she just stared. Red. The red of pain, of blood, of fire. Burning and bleeding and screaming, the world falling to pieces all around. Consuming, energizing, enthralling-

She snapped her eyes shut, breathing shallowly. Focus, focus, focus, she thought desperately. Rainclouds, dark and full, spilling deep blue from the sky. Washing it away, away, away...

She opened her eyes again, her breathing steady once more. But she was careful not to look directly at the holed of The Color again.

Posted
4 hours ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

Fadran carefully takes the items back, slipping the pen behind his ear for later use. He grasps the paper between his thump and forefinger, Forging a Spirit Bond. It came quicker this time; more easily than Enter a Username's. Probably just because he had had some practice.

"A name is something that someone else gives you," Fadran begins, "but it can also be something you give yourself. Just like everything else, though it is influenced by others."

Queen's Spirit, written into nothing but a single Q on a piece of paper, began flooding into Fadran's mind. He started with recent events, and was gratified to find himself and the others amongst her most recent impressions. Making an influence--making a difference on somebody else's life--was what he lived for nowadays.

"Sometimes, we change our names. We feel we aren't deserving of them, or that they don't fit. In your case... you simply shortened it, left behind a piece of yourself that you feel you no longer need."

Traveling backwards in time, he began to find regret and sorrow. As he continued traveling back, it only continued, growing stronger.

And then--a memory. A very vibrant, painful memory.

"When we change our names, and our identity, it isn't because us ourselves feel like it must be different for our own benefit. It's always for something more than just ourselves; an event, an adversary, a friend."

He could hear screaming--Queen's screaming--and he could see blood among stones. The body of her most trusted, beloved, endeared friend was no longer breathing. His eyes no longer moved, his laugh no longer echoed off her soul, finding happiness where there was none. She was being pulled back by--something. A person? A thing? It didn't matter--they were taking her away from Journey.

The echoes of Tchanta's voice spoke to Queen--and, in turn, Fadran. Come, my queen! You must flee this place--it is no longer safe here.

Unconsciously, a tear slipped down Fadran's cheek: a small price to pay for helping someone bear a burden. "You feel as though you are no longer a queen, after being forced to leave Journey behind. You feel as though he is lost forever. You're afraid of losing anyone else to the void of death."

Fadran continued going back in time, and found the end of the break. Queen was a happy, loved, and satisfied person. There wasn't a person in the world who didn't love her. Even Journey, one of the few who she had ever loved back, served as her best friend and most trusted advisor. He made her life worth living.

"You miss him when he was here." Fadran says. "You think he's gone... but he isn't. Not truly. You keep his memory as a part of yourself. You push away others because you fear that the same fate will happen to them. Maybe it will--there's no way to tell. But they... we... keep his Spirit with you. Just as he was always by your side, we will help you."

He returned to the break in Queen's Spirit, reliving her memory of Journey's death. If there were any tears brimming at his eyes from the overpowering fear and loss, he couldn't feel them.

"You don't have to be a queen. You don't have to stand alone where no one else will stand with you. It isn't the letters in the name that matter, it's the meaning behind them. If Q is the person who will let others into her life, and let others help her, then that's all you need."

Fadran nodded, and slipped Q's paper into his pocket next to Enter a Username's. "And I don't know if it matters to you... but you're a queen to me."

Quote

I don't think you godmodded her at all, that's how I would have written her if I could have found the words. Great job!!

I really wish that I could write as well as you, this is pitiful compared to the power in your words.

For the first time in three years, Q felt like she had value. Fadran had taken some of her pain; he knew how she felt. He was right, Journey wasn't gone, not really. Fadran hadn't gone far enough to know, but Tchanta had been born from a piece of Journey's soul. As long as Tchanta was by her side, so was her love. And now, she had real people to trust, as well.

Yes, the previous source of her happiness was gone, but... as she looked around, she could see parts of Journey in all of them. Kindness had showed her love, giving her a hug when she didn't know she needed it. Nathrangking had been the first to welcome her into the group. Vapor had eased her into telling her story. T and Ember had allowed her to join, despite already having so many members. Q hadn't known Elaine as long as the others, but had helped to heal her the same way she would heal Journey any time he would make a dumb decision ending in his injury. She smiled, remembering the many times he had limped into their tent, giving her some wild excuse for the injuries. Enter had given her a... goldmind, whatever that was. She had no idea how to use it, but he had said it had healing powers, right? And Fadran. The second one to invite her to join them. She hadn't quite figured him out yet, but -- she realized with a shock that it did matter to her what he thought of her. Knowing that he believed in her gave her the strength to believe in herself.

The loss of Journey was still there, just as strong, but Q could approach the memory differently now. She knew that Journey had sacrificed himself for her; it was his choice. It was a selfish choice, as it left her to live without him, but it had given her a second chance, another opportunity to find purpose. She couldn't live for Journey, she had to live for herself. It was her choice to keep going, and nothing could keep her from pushing through. She thought she didn't need her name, but she was wrong. Becoming a mere letter was her way of trying to forget, to take away her responsibility for Journey's death, but that wasn't something she had to avoid. It was time to truly face herself.

The paper in Fadran's pocket began to glow, and he pulled it out as Queen focused on it, once more changing her identity. "I thought I could only be a queen with Journey by my side as my king. I kept going for him. I knew he didn't want me to die, to waste his sacrifice, so I lived. Now, I finally understand that I need to live for myself. I can't change Journey's decision, but I can change mine. I still love him, and I always will, but it's time for me to stop living in his memory and start living in my present." 

As her name on the paper began the second 'e,' Queen looked into Fadran's eyes, her own almost glowing with intensity. "I am the queen of my own destiny. Thank you for helping me to realize that." Her name was completed, identity restored. Her strength gave out as the light in her eyes died down, and she collapsed, unconscious.

Posted (edited)
18 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

The paper in Fadran's pocket began to glow, and he pulled it out as Queen focused on it, once more changing her identity. "I thought I could only be a queen with Journey by my side as my king. I kept going for him. I knew he didn't want me to die, to waste his sacrifice, so I lived. Now, I finally understand that I need to live for myself. I can't change Journey's decision, but I can change mine. I still love him, and I always will, but it's time for me to stop living in his memory and start living in my present." 

As her name on the paper began the second 'e,' Queen looked into Fadran's eyes, her own almost glowing with intensity. "I am the queen of my own destiny. Thank you for helping me to realize that." Her name was completed, identity restored. Her strength gave out as the light in her eyes died down, and she collapsed, unconscious.

Fadran looks at the paper, back at Queen, and then back at the paper. He pockets it, then blinks at her comatose body.

You need to stop being so dramatic, Fadran, Icona says, this is the second time you've knocked somebody out.

"I don't think knocked her out, master godperson. Change can be difficult; exhausting, even." Fadran stooped down, placing his hand on her head. He began Healing her, pouring his Health into hers.

What did you see when you collected my name? Icona asks. Anything... life-changing?

"I saw that you were a no-good, lousy, all-knowing, omnipresent pain in the rear." Fadran replies, still siphoning his own Health. "Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm all that except not omnipresent."

You're not all-knowing, though.

"I don't have to be to pretend I am."

Quote

I don't think you godmodded her at all, that's how I would have written her if I could have found the words. Great job!!

I really wish that I could write as well as you, this is pitiful compared to the power in your words.

Quote

Well, good to know! :D

Writing's one of the few things I have a talent in. And don't sell yourself shortl I've met hiundreds of people who couldn't hope to be a fraction as good as you are. The fact that you work towards it means more than whether or not you're good in the first place.

 

Edited by Channelknight Fadran
Posted
5 minutes ago, Channelknight Fadran said:
Quote

Also FYI unless anyone else wants a character development milestone now would be the perfect time for the holed to be all like "shut up back there!" and rudely kick us back into the plotline.

 

Quote

whoops

 

Posted
1 minute ago, Channelknight Fadran said:
Quote

Whoops? What, whoops? Did I really just write that sentence?

 

Quote

Kinda forgot there was another plotline, that's what whoops

Quote

Ohhh Merciful Domi...

 

 

Posted
Quote

*Laughs in funny* nah, what you did was one of the writer's many tools, the "Pacer Bracer." They're very effective for sceneshfits, and makes the reader feel really good inside! What I was doing was preparing everyone for the "Bracer Breaker," which is similar, but it pulls people back into the plotline after some long-awaited character transaction.

 

Posted
49 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

For the first time in three years, Q felt like she had value. Fadran had taken some of her pain; he knew how she felt. He was right, Journey wasn't gone, not really. Fadran hadn't gone far enough to know, but Tchanta had been born from a piece of Journey's soul. As long as Tchanta was by her side, so was her love. And now, she had real people to trust, as well.

Yes, the previous source of her happiness was gone, but... as she looked around, she could see parts of Journey in all of them. Kindness had showed her love, giving her a hug when she didn't know she needed it. Nathrangking had been the first to welcome her into the group. Vapor had eased her into telling her story. T and Ember had allowed her to join, despite already having so many members. Q hadn't known Elaine as long as the others, but had helped to heal her the same way she would heal Journey any time he would make a dumb decision ending in his injury. She smiled, remembering the many times he had limped into their tent, giving her some wild excuse for the injuries. Enter had given her a... goldmind, whatever that was. She had no idea how to use it, but he had said it had healing powers, right? And Fadran. The second one to invite her to join them. She hadn't quite figured him out yet, but -- she realized with a shock that it did matter to her what he thought of her. Knowing that he believed in her gave her the strength to believe in herself.

The loss of Journey was still there, just as strong, but Q could approach the memory differently now. She knew that Journey had sacrificed himself for her; it was his choice. It was a selfish choice, as it left her to live without him, but it had given her a second chance, another opportunity to find purpose. She couldn't live for Journey, she had to live for herself. It was her choice to keep going, and nothing could keep her from pushing through. She thought she didn't need her name, but she was wrong. Becoming a mere letter was her way of trying to forget, to take away her responsibility for Journey's death, but that wasn't something she had to avoid. It was time to truly face herself.

The paper in Fadran's pocket began to glow, and he pulled it out as Queen focused on it, once more changing her identity. "I thought I could only be a queen with Journey by my side as my king. I kept going for him. I knew he didn't want me to die, to waste his sacrifice, so I lived. Now, I finally understand that I need to live for myself. I can't change Journey's decision, but I can change mine. I still love him, and I always will, but it's time for me to stop living in his memory and start living in my present." 

As her name on the paper began the second 'e,' Queen looked into Fadran's eyes, her own almost glowing with intensity. "I am the queen of my own destiny. Thank you for helping me to realize that." Her name was completed, identity restored. Her strength gave out as the light in her eyes died down, and she collapsed, unconscious.

32 minutes ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

Fadran looks at the paper, back at Queen, and then back at the paper. He pockets it, then blinks at her comatose body.

You need to stop being so dramatic, Fadran, Icona says, this is the second time you've knocked somebody out.

"I don't think knocked her out, master godperson. Change can be difficult; exhausting, even." Fadran stooped down, placing his hand on her head. He began Healing her, pouring his Health into hers.

What did you see when you collected my name? Icona asks. Anything... life-changing?

"I saw that you were a no-good, lousy, all-knowing, omnipresent pain in the rear." Fadran replies, still siphoning his own Health. "Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm all that except not omnipresent."

You're not all-knowing, though.

"I don't have to be to pretend I am."

 

An orange holed stepped forwards and picked up Queen, stepping quickly so as to not fall out of line.

 

Posted

"Wow," Kindness says, impressed by the events that have just transpired.  "You are really good at this, Fadran.  It almost makes me wish I had a crisis of identity or something to work out."

Posted
1 minute ago, Spren of Kindness said:

"Wow," Kindness says, impressed by the events that have just transpired.  "You are really good at this, Fadran.  It almost makes me wish I had a crisis of identity or something to work out."

Fadran shrugs, placing Queen's and Enter's names into a pair of sleeves, keeping them safe from the elements. "People tell me I'm good at a lot of things, but if I had to choose one of those, it would be this." He turns to look at the spren. "And as much as I'd love to collect your name as well, I have no idea how you're supposed to hold a pen."

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