whattheHoid Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) Storytime! Warning....poop! So once upon a time, my daughter Ofelia and I traveled to see my parents yesterday for my brother's birthday. It's a couple hours down there. So she hates the drive, to placate hey we listened to the Snow White yodel song on repeat while chewing on gum. Now I've told her many times, you don't, don't! Swallow the gum!! Just spit it out and I'll give you a new one. Mind she doesn't get a full piece of gum, just a small piece. Anyways we get to my parents, but she is shy so she doesn't really eat much and I'm a worry wort to begin with so as this is a day that is out of her routine, I just kept giving her gum. She would give me her old gum, so I thought hey! She is listening to me! Eureka! Maybe she is thinking logically! So we head home, shower her off and put her bed. This morning, however, she was grouchy and acting as if she was uncomfortable. She isn't potty trained yet and she didn't do a number 2 yesterday. So things are not going in my favor. So I have this cranky toddler waving and flailing around a paintbrush with paint flying everywhere, I've got bacon on the floor. My cat yelling at me because he absolutely must eat that bacon and then sit on my face. Finally, Ofelia poops and it was a struggle, she kept yelling, "Don't look at me! You can't sit like that!" I think that last part was directed towards the cat, Simba. So I change her diaper and ooh boy. Never shall I look at gum the same way again. That turd was glued together with blue and green gum. I can't believe how much she swallowed. So to make both of us feel better, we played Super Mario Odyssey as she loves Mario and Power Moons. And thus, this is how, I, Hoid learned if you swallow too much gum..... you'll have a bad time and won't have time to go on the Shard until right before bedtime. Edited January 28, 2019 by whattheHoid 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Rebecca said: *brings extra popcorn* *doesn’t share any* Edit: My wi fi doesn’t load anything until after I post! Edited January 28, 2019 by Lunamor 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 3 minutes ago, whattheHoid said: Storytime! Warning....poop! ... I...I... I'm never gonna be a mother. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alvron Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 *is disappointed there wasn't smoke or effects with story but liked story anyway* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 *wanted more explosions* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Just now, Alvron said: *is disappointed there wasn't smoke or effects with story but liked story anyway* You didn't see anything? I did. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alvron Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 *really didn't want explosions in a story with poop* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Don't worry next time there will be explosions coming out whatever device or computer you are viewing the story! And Ene, don't worry there really isn't that much poop involved. My cat.....I deal more with cat poops as he is always trying to eat all my butter or cheese and storms help you if you have salmon. He gonna claw that fish and then you if you don't give it to him fast enough! This is my ding dang derp cat with a falsetto and warble that would make anyone jealous. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alvron Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 *considers cats superior to dogs* *prepares to be drowned out in dogs are better posts* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) *agrees with Alvron* Are... are her claws out? Edited January 28, 2019 by Lunamor 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Spoiler Cats are better. Spoiler And I win. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Yes, Simba has razor sharp claws. He was kneading in the picture. He's an indoor outdoor cat. I'll be honest, I grew up with dogs, but cats, watching them chase after a laser and their derpy expressions! What more could you want! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alvron Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 You ever have that moment when your cat walks into a room, sees something you can't see and then runs out of the room again? It's quite unsettling. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Yes, I postulate either a Cognitive or Spiritual Realm hotspot is there. It's clearly that or..... I'm haunted.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 They likely saw an anger spren and freaked out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Or maybe a concentratenspren! Good night! Everyone, it is midnight and Hoid needs sleep! Hopefully, I'll have more time to Shard tomorrow!! Yaya! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Bye! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alvron Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Night Hoid. Don't let the spren bite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Ed Venture Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 I think you mean voidspren! Normal spren don’t bite because they’re not far enough into the physical realm and radiant spren are better than that! Welcome to Pedanticast! The Brandon Sanderson Pedanticast! Here to give you tons of thoughts, theories, and a whole lot of pedantic on Brandon’s works and the cosmere! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vogelsang Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 After two hours of awkward silence, I enter the conversation and say, "Gibbletisch," promptly leaving. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Ed Venture Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Um... Actually it’s Gibbletish! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vogelsang Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 When you correct someone on their spelling of a made up word. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ink Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Cheez-its. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Ed Venture Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 ...are disgusting 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vogelsang Posted January 28, 2019 Report Share Posted January 28, 2019 Cheetohs 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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