Crackpot Theories (A game)

[The Tenth Pancake]

Okay, back on topic .

Proof: Desert-y sand is orange, and I'm pretty sure a lot of roshar rocks and sand are orange. So, why would it be orange? Because the squid is orange. Adonalsium loved squid so her squid named Bloosh has been circling roshar ever since.

Theory: Knights Radiant and the Knights of Crystallia are one and the same.

[goody153]

Proof: Two solidiers from two different factions are still soldiers. A baker from two different countries are still bakers. Obviously they're knights so they're the same.  I mean what sort of proof is even needed ?

Theory: Lift is secretly Jasnah and Amaram's lovechild.

[Obnoxiousspren]

Proof: Jasnah is hungry for knowledge, Amaram is hungry for power, so of course their lovechild would be just plain hungry all the time. Obviously its Lift.

Theory: The Nightwatcher will fall in love with The Lopen.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

Proof: Cultivation is heavily Invested in Roshar. Roshar requires extra investiture to make the ecology work, the ground is fundamental to the ecology of Roshar, and therefore the ground is heavily Invested by Cultivation. The Nightwatcher is a splinter of Cultivation, so what is true of Cultivation is also true of the Nightwatcher. We know from Oathbringer that the ground already loves Lopen. Therefore the Nightwatcher has already been proven to love Lopen. Also the Nightwatcher thinks it's really cool how Lopen can open a beer with one arm. I mean really cool.

Theory: Amaram faked his death to get out of the lamest secret society on Roshar, namely the Sons of Honor.

[goody153]

Proof: Obviously since Lift is the lovechild of Jasnah-Amaram. Amaram clearly had a fabrial that can elsecall where he was taught elsecalling by Jasnah. So yes he's out of that lame secret society now

Theory: Jasnah secretly rules with Amaram together. 

Edited August 29, 2018 by goody153

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

Proof: Alethkar is now known as Jasmaram, and the name of the new country is so cool that Odium concedes defeat, stops the desolation, and gives the Everstorm to the new power couple to use as the engine for their perpetual wave pool that they have installed in their palace at Kholinar. This also solves one of the great riddles of Oathbringer, the fuzed were demolishing the palace in order to rebuild it with the new perpetual wave pool.

Theory: The Night of sorrows, when the Destroyers emerge from the Origin of Storms with light in their pockets, is really describing another wave of immigrants, namely that of the Dead Heads that used to follow the Grateful Dead around. The light in their pockets is really just a slight error in the retelling of the prophecy, they will actually have "lighters" in their pockets. The only destroying that they will do are the acts of militant vegans and environmental extremists, destroying chouta carts, freeing chulls, and chaining themselves to Chasm fiends to stop the cruel sport hunting.

Edited August 29, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[The Tenth Pancake]

Proof: these immigrants, or "peacebringers" as they call themselves, are the true desolation, and because of their pushy nature, they want nothing more than to invade other planets and try to make people become vegan and hippies. So, yeah why not come to roshar too?

Theory: Adolin was actually part of the ghostbloods THE ENTIRE TIME!!!

[+Doomstick he/him]

Proof: Adolin married shallan who was infiltrating the ghostbloods.

 

theory: Stickbinder Prime is the Survival Shard

[Ashspren]

Proof: The power of Stick is so much that there is only one explanation: it Ascended. Also, Stick seems to persevere, which is a large part of survival. 

 

Theory: Adonalsium never existed.

[Ishar]

Proof: The Cosmere is fictional (Sadly)

 

Theory: Unicorns are Hemalurgically spiked Rhyshadium.

[Walin he/him]

Proof: Spikes can be used on people, and Ryshadium are almost as intelligent as humans. They also live on Roshar, where many fauna are Invested, which means they can be Invested. Thus, Ryshadium can have head-spikes, and since unicorns can fly, they're Ryshadium spiked to mandras.

Theory: Miles Dagouter was Nale, and faked his death for some reason.

[goody153]

Proof: He managed to fake Szeth death to the world for awhile. I don't see how he couldn't fake his own.

Theory: Dockson is actually the Hero of Ages

[Ishar]

Proof: Sazed would have never ascended if it weren't for Dockson

Theory: Animal's horns (no matter what the animal is) are Hemalurgic Spikes.

[Bigmikey357 he/him]

Proof: Hemalurgic spikes grant sapience and have you ever looked into the eyes of horned animals? Clearly they are looking at you with scorn.

Theory: My Little Pony takes place on a Shardworld. The Shard is Cuteness.

[goody153]

Proof: Rhydasium's are sooo from whatever world MLP takes place(although they are the mentally challenged people of that planet). Also Odium has zero plans to shatter Shard of Cuteness. Just make offer her to rule together.

Theory: May Aladar is a Kandra

[+Doomstick he/him]

On 9/3/2018 at 3:39 PM, Ishar said:

The Cosmere is fictional

U WANNA GO!?!?

[Ishar]

18 hours ago, I am a STICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said:

U WANNA GO!?!?

I am not happy about it either.

[The Tenth Pancake]

Proof: May is a month. Roshar doesn't have the same months we do. Mistborn probably does. So therefore, she is kandra.

Theory: the radiants are all insane and their spren all result from schizophrenia and hallucinations

[StormblessedSurvivor he/him]

Proof: In tWoK (I think) Lift says she "gots magic spit" so she can climb-Wyndle just is a figment of her imagination that she thinks helps her climb. Shallan's "illusions" just seem to work because she acts sooo different so others are like "whoa that can't be Shallan, she acts so different." Therefore the spren aren't real.

Theory: Hoid/Dust/Cephandrius/Wit/Topaz/Lunu'anakai is Zahel/Vasher/Warbreaker/Kalad/Peacegiver/Strifelover/Talaxin.

[Veden Truthwatcher she/her]

Proof: Vasher and Hoid are both enigmatic and knowledgeable people with too many names.

Theory: Vivenna is Lift's mother and came to Roshar to find her.

[goody153]

Proof: Totally. She is her and Vasher's lovechild which Vasher brought to Roshar.

Theory: Honor, Cultivation and Odium is just one god having split personality who believes it is fighting itself

[Silva]

Proof: Sanderson's done stuff like that before. It's just Shallan on a larger scale.

Theory: Wayne is actually Hoid's psychotic cousin twice removed.

[Veden Truthwatcher she/her]

Proof: Would you expect anything less of someone that good at language butchering? 

Theory: Taln's Scar/Red Rip is a large disco party on Yolen visible from other planets.

[Nathrangking he/him]

Proof: Taln is broken, you know what else was broken Adonalsium which was broken on Yolen. Taln is crazy any party on Yolen must be large and crazy as well hence the out of sight disco.

Theory: Tensoon is the body double for Cujo. Hence Stephen King is Cosmere!

 

Edited November 27, 2018 by Nathrangking

[Ripheus23]

18 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

Hence Stephen King is Cosmere!

Proof: Stephen King wrote THE DARK TOWER, which was the crossover series before the Cosmere came along.

THEORY: Adonalsium's real name is Adonalsiumuislanoda.