Crackpot Theories (A game)

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

7 hours ago, Unlicensed Hemalurgist said:

THEORY: Hoid isn't just one person; he's a bunch of identical siblings, each embedded on different Shardworlds. Like the Nurse Joys in Pokemon.

PROOF: In looking into the latinate derivation of his name, Cephandrius, we can clearly see that "Cepha" is referring to the presence of a head, and "andrius" is referring to the gender associated with the body associated with said head, namely male. Given this clear evidence, not only is it highly likely that Hoid is a composite organism composed of numerous identical siblings living on all the known shardworlds, but in fact it is even more likely that all males with heads seen on all of the shardworlds are likewise part of this composite organism known collectively as Hoid, or Topaz, or Cephandrius. Another bit of compelling proof, why would ONE man need SO MANY names???

THEORY: The Stormfather is the Spren of Grouchy old man griping. Yeah, he's that splinter of Tanavast's personality, not the honor bit, but the bit that likes to complain about teenagers.

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

Proof: He is grumpy, and does complain to teenagers. 

Theory: Amaram was the key to saving Roshar from Odium.

[Casta she/her]

Proof: Of course Amaram was the key, because keys often get lost and Amaram got lost, too. In his... um... morality philosophy.

Theory: The Ones Above from Sixth form the Dusk are Ghostbloods.

[little wheel he/him]

Proof: Up is relative, so the Ghostbloods are above them.

Theory: Jasnah is a Voidbringer.

[recneps he/him]

Proof: She spends much of her time trying to gather proof to convince others the Voidbringers are a group which, notably, does not include her.

Theory: Kelsier is Roshone.

[goody153]

Proof: Rage ? Check. A noble ? Check. Love for a person he considers his daughter ? Check. Of course he is, the facts matches !

Theory: Aona is really the bigbad who sends her henchmen Odium to do her dirty works while she pretends to be dead.

[BitBitio he/him]

@goody153 Obviously because 

A: An

O: Obvious

N: No-goodnick

A: Attack

 

Theory: Everyone in Warbreaker is secretly insane.

[GeneralHZRD he/him]

@BitBitio Obviously because: 

1: They think they can bring things to life with their breath.

2: Half of them are afraid of color.

3: A handful of characters hear voices, (and attribute them to a sword if you can believe it.)

 

Theory: Wayne is Lift's Father.

[Ink he/him]

@TheVillageIdiot Well duh. Both are able to heal themselves, are extremely eccentric, have a less important sidekick that gets upset at them, and can speak street speak.

 

Theory: Moash is actually Amaram.

[goody153]

@Inklingspren Absolutely. They're both unlikable and serves Odium. What's the need for more evidence when it's so obvious ?

Theory: Syl is a voidspren. 

[Generalbacon74]

Clearly Syl is a voidspren she makes jokes at him and brought him poison to kill homself (the cowards way) instead of the honorable jump to your death.

therory: Lift is made of food. (Not because she a human)

[AlexandertheOK]

Why do you think Lift eats so much? Its to replace her body as it slowly rots away and she's now 90% pancake

Theory: The Kholins are all constantly wearing double denim

 

[BitBitio he/him]

@AlexandertheOK Obviously why else would they all be Radiants? 

 

Theory: Sadeas is a zombie.

[Steven]

On 7/27/2018 at 10:31 AM, BitBitio said:

Theory: Sadeas is a zombie.

Proof: Sadeas' focus on fashion could only be spurred on by having to compensate for being incredibly gross underneath his clothes, i.e having rotten zombie skin.

Theory: Brandon Sanderson is secretly The Stick

[BitBitio he/him]

@Steven he literally wrote "I am a Stick" a bunch of times.

 

 

Theory: We live in the Cosmere.

[Unlicensed Hemalurgist he/him]

1 hour ago, BitBitio said:

Theory: We live in the Cosmere.

PROOF: This theory makes me irrationally angry, meaning I'm probably being Rioted right now.

THEORY: Tonk Fah was a worldhopping Hemalurgist.

[goody153]

@Unlicensed Hemalurgist He literally tortures with joy. Guess who likes torture ? Inquisitors. Guess what Inquisitors are ? Hemalurgist. Pack your bag boys we found another waldo.

Theory: Odium is actually an extremely misunderstood goodguy.

edit:butterfingers

Edited July 30, 2018 by goody153

[Ashspren]

Proof: Everything is a matter of perspective. So him, being literally the Shard of Hate, just hates Evil. Also, “Rayse” sounds like “Raze,” which means to destroy, so that is his intent towards anything evil. I wonder if @Perspective would be happy with this logic...

 

Theory: Given the logic above, Odium is secretly Nightblood because he wants to destroy (raze) evil.

Edited July 30, 2018 by Ashspren

[Worldhopper From Yolen]

Proof: Your proof for the previous theory, plus Nightblood is a "robot spren"(don't remember where that's from).

Theory: The Reckoners is secretly part of the cosmere.

[AonEne he/him]

Proof: THAT'S why everyone around here gets so upset! They're hiding the secret!

Theory: Zwei is a kandra.

[Mistspren she/her]

Proof: How else did he fit in the package? And how about his immunity to fire, and his combat abilities?

Theory: The Aimians are the Dawnshards.

[goody153]

Proof: Well duh. If it isn't honorblades, it isn't fused and not Radiant then it has to be them.

Theory: Harmony and Autonomy are secretly working together

[Ashspren]

Proof: People sometimes feel most at peace (Harmony) by themselves (Autonomy).

Theory: Aona and Rayse were Shard-school sweethearts.

[Calderis he/him]

1 minute ago, Ashspren said:

Theory: Aona and Rayse were Shard-school sweethearts.

Proof: Aona dumped him and hooked up with Skai, that's why Odium hit them first. It's a classic tale of boy meets girl, gets dumped and is a horrible sociopath with no respect for life and other people's decisions... 

Theory: The Diagram's real goal is to create a Ryshadium Shard. 

[Apollyon he/him]

Evidence: What better reason would you make an extremely complex system that tells the future? For horses, of course!

Theory: All Shardholders are just Ryshadiums that ate too much Scadrian Waffles.