The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

So Kelsier decided to write a play. 

[Jaywalk he/him]

It was called Hathsin.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Narrator Star was suddenly reminded of a little jingle she wrote yesterday called Rainy Day.

So let's Soulcast the walls into blood, baby

Escape Hathsin just this once

Rainy day

Rainy day, darling, rainy day

 

[Jaywalk he/him]

Kelsier’s play starred himself.

He was the only actor.

[Lunamor she/her]

Logically.

[Jaywalk he/him]

It was a huge success. Such a success, in fact, that Broadway added his show to their lineup.

[Lunamor she/her]

People came from all across the Cosmere to see his legendary show. Attendees included...

Edited May 22, 2019 by Lunamor

[Jaywalk he/him]

Barack Obama.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

And Hoid.

Jasnah was mildly jealous. 

[Kaladin's successor]

But a sad tradegy happened afterwards...

[Jaywalk he/him]

Nobody knew what tradegy meant.

[Lunamor she/her]

They thought that it meant something happy, so Brandon Sanderson himself appeared as a guest star on Kel’s show as a villain. He had an entire number to himself where he sung about the joys of torturing readers through excessively killing off beloved characters.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

It was all fun and games until Kelsier found out that he was a character. In a book. And there was nothing he could do about it. 

[Lunamor she/her]

So he challenged Brandon to a duel.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

So Brandon refused to duel him. This infuriated Kelsier.

[Lunamor she/her]

So he challenged him to a write off. The person who wrote the better ending to his story won and that ending would be put into effect in real life.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Because Kelsier was stupid like that.

[+Doomstick he/him]

The God of Words made it so prepositions could not be used more than once each

[BringerofShadows she/her]

1 hour ago, Shard of Thought said:

"We'd need some sort of leverage over you."

BoS pulls on her strings and the hand controller appeared before Star. “There.”

[Stormblessed Dolphin he/him]

Meanwhile, narrator SD could now access the Shard on his phone. He had the power to summon Doom Rats to the thread from anywhere at any time. (And he was quite obsessed with Doom Rats)

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

9 minutes ago, BringerofShadows said:

BoS pulls on her strings and the hand controller appeared before Star. “There.”

Star considered. 

"Are we Narrators in favor of this?"

Edited May 22, 2019 by Shard of Thought

[Jaywalk he/him]

Because the ghanderflaffle empire was rising.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Star raised her eyebrow. The previous statement made zero sense in context. 

[Lunamor she/her]

Narrator Lunamor fainted from such an unheard of occurrence. 

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

And since no one came to a consensus, Star took Shadow's hand controller.  

"This is acceptable."