The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

But the price for them was high. 

[Condensation she/her]

It was $99.99 plus tax. The tax in this system, however, was one soul. Preferably yours.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

And so, the Lightning Goddess consulted her many jars of preserved souls.

[Condensation she/her]

Maybe the thunder deity's? she mused.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

She ended up using the soul of a poor character from the Fairytale Woods, who's happy ending she had stolen mercilessly.

[Condensation she/her]

2 minutes ago, Shard of Thought said:

She ended up using the soul of a poor character from the Fairytale Woods, who's happy ending she had stolen mercilessly.

*whose

It was quite sad, but there was no way to return the soul.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Still, the character's prince charming sought revenge!

Which was rather entertaining considering he was now in his 80's.

[Condensation she/her]

He came limping over the hill. "Finally... I... have... found... you..." he wheezed.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

He was promptly electrocuted back to the old folk's home. 

[Condensation she/her]

And Ruby dug through her pockets to get $99.99.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

But just before Prince Charming died, he uttered a curse! A curse that would last 'til the end of time!

[Condensation she/her]

"Storm you! Hunk of crem!"

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

And with his last breath, the Lightning Goddess turned into a literal hunk of crem.

The shady man with a hekka ton of hairdryers said, "Wow. If I had a nickle for every time one of my customers turned into a hunk of crem, I would have two nickles. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?"

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“I understood that reference,” Captain America said.

[Condensation she/her]

2 minutes ago, Shard of Thought said:

And with his last breath, the Lightning Goddess turned into a literal hunk of crem.

The shady man with a hekka ton of hairdryers said, "Wow. If I had a nickle for every time one of my customers turned into a hunk of crem, I would have two nickles. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?"

"Yeah, that's really weird." Treble nodded thoughtfully.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

And so, our story shifts to Jeff, that odd and intriguing hairdryer peddler.

Years ago, he'd wanted to be a movie star. But things hadn't gone quite the way he'd wanted.

[Condensation she/her]

"This is a great career for me! Except... my mom and sister both really need a new hairdryer."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

He went to the store, not knowing that by venturing to the dryer-isle, his life was about to change forever.

[Condensation she/her]

As he grabbed two hair dryers, he was confronted by a shady-looking character.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

It was Mike, the friendly Walmart employee.

[Condensation she/her]

Mike's hair was styled so wildly that it cast shade over his entire face.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

But you had to give the kid credit, he was a brave one for wearing his hair that way. It was distinctive, bold, original. 

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“Hey random person! How would you like to become my business partner and sell hair dryers?”

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Strangely magnetic.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

A ninja put chloroform to Mike’s face.