The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Truthless threw three egg grenades at the feet a a horde of Jellybeans. They exploded, shell and goop flying everywhere. The Jellybeans were hit, and slowly started disintegrating in the healthiness.  

Edited February 17, 2020 by Truthless of Shinovar

[Lunamor she/her]

With a great slurping sound, the melting jelly beans pulled together, adding the egg goop to their essence. Beautiful colors swirled around, warring until they became an ugly brown. Their white tattoos changed their lettering to say “protein bites”. The once unique candies had joined together to create one big monotonous confection. They had become something far, far worse. For now it had a disguise. It sprouted a wrapper not quite as shiny as that of its brethren, made of the absorbed shell- a big stamp on its papery surface declared that the new packaging was “environmentally friendly”. A second marking proclaimed in big gold letters that it was now “healthy”. Such a statement was, of course, untrue. But due to the added egg matter, there was no one to stop them from saying it. No one would care about how it tasted or looked, so long as it was supposedly good for them. Such a warrior would be the perfect choice for infiltrating enemy ranks. None would suspect them of any ill intentions- their marketing team was far too careful to let any hint slip out that could ruin their facade. The first enemy spy was born. 

Ahhhh why do I want to write so much about this

Edited February 17, 2020 by Lunamor

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“AHHHHHH!” Truthless yelled. “The only way to stop them is to eat them! And then exercise!!”

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

     The battle raged around A.C. He barely managed to jump out of the way as a huge boulder-like candy thundered past him. A.C. hit the ground in a roll, then slid into one of the small trenches dotting the battlefield. Where are the other narrators!?, he thought feverishly. He ran around a corner... right into a group of angry warheads. Upon noticing him, the sour-balls began throwing themselves at the ground around A.C., promptly exploding upon contact. He leapt to the side as several detonated on his right. But not all of them missed, and he was thrown backwards by the force of the explosion. He hit the ground hard and slid backwards down the trench corridor. His ribs hurt, but he struggled to his feet anyway. A still man was a dead man. A.C.'s vision was hazy, and he almost didn't believe his eyes when a figure jumped into the trench about twenty feet from where he stood. The image prowled towards him, and he instinctively drew back as it coalesced into a brown mass concealed by a shiny, metallic cloak. The cloak proclaimed "Healthy" in big bold letters. So not humanoid, but definitely on our side. Thank the Stormfather! A.C. trudged forward to meet his new ally. "Don't worry. I'm here to help." it affirmed in a low, guttural voice. It clasped A.C.'s shoulder and leaned forward, then planted a candy cane knife in his middle. A.C. stumbled back, and it swiftly pinned him against the wall. "Where are the others?" It demanded. "I'll... never... talk..."

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

TVG rejoiced upon seeing the long textwalls of plot. 

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

I refuse.

This is not plot. It is just very detailed randomness. I had to follow Luna's example.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

I feel attacked. I don't know how to win this fight.

Edited February 17, 2020 by Rosharan A.C.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

You lost before you even thought to win. 

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

perhaps I have lost, but I still have dignity!

A.C. remembered he was a narrator and slapped the assassin with a breadstick.

Edited February 17, 2020 by Rosharan A.C.

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

Salad munched on some popcorn in the corner. 

[FatherTiempo he/him]

FT raced down an alleyway, Narration flowing off of him like fog. Three lumbering jelly babies crashed through a pile of crates behind him. 

Edited February 17, 2020 by FatherTiempo

[Snake Eyes Productions_YT he/him]

FT fearfully hid in a building, but the Narration gave him away. The jelly babies found him in no time.

[NameIess]

Nameless noticed A.C. being attacked by the brown mass. The brown things cloak says it is healthy, but it's attacking A.C., so that means... "Traitor!" Nameless yelled, pulling out two celeryblades and stabbing A.C in the chest. "How could you betray us A.C.? I trusted you!"

[Snake Eyes Productions_YT he/him]

FOD knew all along that A.C. was a traitor. But he didn't tell anyone, because he was also a traitor.

 

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Truthless was still chugging down jelly beans.

[FatherTiempo he/him]

4 hours ago, The Face of Daiseri said:

FT fearfully hid in a building, but the Narration gave him away. The jelly babies found him in no time.

"AAAHHHHHH!!!!!! jelly babies!"

[xinoehp512 he/him]

On 2/7/2020 at 4:22 PM, xinoehp512 said:

"You... you killed them all," Xinoehp whispered. "My friends, my family... everyone."

The Witherlord threw back his head and laughed. "Ah, yes. That was a good day. Glad to see you remember me at last."

Xinoehp shook. His gaze filled with red. "You... you..." he said through clenched teeth, "You will die!"

His spear began to glow brighter and brighter as he poured all of his remaining power into it. Soon it became too bright too look at.

"Begone, fiend!" screamed Xinoehp, raising his spear to strike.

In that moment, Aqua noticed something. A crack, running the length of the spear- left there from the Witherlord's final strike. "Xinoehp, no!" she cried out, but it was too late.

With a earsplitting bang and an unbelievably blinding flash of light, the Spear of Light exploded.

The last fragments of the spear clattered to the ground as Xinoehp's hand went slack. He swayed back and forth on his feet, world swimming around him. What... what had happened? He'd been about to strike the Witherlord when all of a sudden... all the light had gone. Sucked out of him, somehow, by the spear- which was gone somehow, too.

The Witherlord had disappeared, though, so that was something. Maybe. Right?

Then, all of a sudden, a dark chuckle rang in his ears. Chills went down his spine.

"Goodbye, Xinoehp," whispered the Witherlord. "And hello..."

And then something dark slammed into Xinoehp. Drained and weakened, he had nothing left to resist it. His knees buckled, and he slumped to the ground.

[+Doomstick he/him]

so did the Witherlord

[+Ed Venture]

A monocle fell out of the sky and bounced off of the Witherlord, falling into Xino’s hand.

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

4 hours ago, Nameless said:

Nameless noticed A.C. being attacked by the brown mass. The brown things cloak says it is healthy, but it's attacking A.C., so that means... "Traitor!" Nameless yelled, pulling out two celeryblades and stabbing A.C in the chest. "How could you betray us A.C.? I trusted you!"

"No no! You've got it all wrong" A.C. grunted. Having a candy cane and celeryblades sticking out of him did not feel good. He tried to explain, but blacked out before he could finish.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

17 minutes ago, DoomStick said:

so did the Witherlord

The Witherlord melted into Xinoehp's shadow, vanishing into darkness.

3 minutes ago, Rosharan A.C. said:

"No no! You've got it all wrong" A.C. grunted. Having a candy cane and celeryblades sticking out of him did not feel good. He tried to explain, but blacked out before he could finish.

His faithful breadmunk companion squeaked with dismay.

She let out a shrill squeak, calling all nearby breadmunks to action. They would take down this spy if it was the last thing they did.

 

[Ghanderflaffle she/her]

The breadmunks stampeded.

[Lunamor she/her]

But A.C.’s blood looked odd. Different, not entirely right. The color was off. Instead of a bright red, it was a light brown, nearly translucent. It flowed at an incredibly slow rate, in no hurry to get anywhere. The light of the orange sun seemed to almost set it ablaze, little sparkles of light dotting its entire surface. Had one dared to touch it, they would have found it to be rather sticky. His blood was gone, replaced with a substance far more sinister. Syrup.

 

Edited February 17, 2020 by Lunamor

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

25 minutes ago, xinoehp512 said:

The last fragments of the spear clattered to the ground as Xinoehp's hand went slack. He swayed back and forth on his feet, world swimming around him. What... what had happened? He'd been about to strike the Witherlord when all of a sudden... all the light had gone. Sucked out of him, somehow, by the spear- which was gone somehow, too.

The Witherlord had disappeared, though, so that was something. Maybe. Right?

Then, all of a sudden, a dark chuckle rang in his ears. Chills went down his spine.

"Goodbye, Xinoehp," whispered the Witherlord. "And hello..."

And then something dark slammed into Xinoehp. Drained and weakened, he had nothing left to resist it. His knees buckled, and he slumped to the ground.

Sophie got angry. 

This was not something that happened often, but it was something that happened now. She narrowed her eyes, feeling an odd surge of stupidity. Er, bravery. She wasn't sure. She let down the forcefield that contained her and Aqua (though she kept Astral in hers) and rushed forward to Xinoehp's side. She could heal him. She had healed Jay before from his wither-wounds, now she could heal Xino as well. She knelt beside him, not caring what the storms might happen to her, and summoned healing power to her blue fingers. Her hand lit up with a warm and glaring blue light and she pressed her fingers up against her friend's chest. 

For a moment, she found herself growing self-conscious. She realized that she'd never actually touched Xinoehp before and she still had a pretty strong crush on him. She blushed as her healing power surged into him, but held to the glaring anger that burned within her. No longer would she let things happen to her. Watching Xinoehp do all of that was both inspiring and terrifying all at the same time. If the Witherlord wanted to come and fight her, she would hold him back with her forcefields and keep him away.