The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Jaywalk he/him]

“But now,” the Dark Voice said. “It’s time for a commercial break.

[Lunamor she/her]

Are you finding that you just can’t stand it when you lose at chess? Do all of your friends and family constantly tease you for being absolutely terrible at playing it? Have you developed a fear of all medieval related things? Well you’re in luck! We here at ANGRYPEEPS CO © have found the perfect solution! Introducing the BOARDFLIPR 3027 © - the only device capable of guaranteeing that you will never lose a single game of chess again! No more humiliating defeat at the hands of tiny marble people riding horses! No more painful watching of your itty bitty monarch getting slaughtered at the hands of an itty bitty bishop! No more tears of suffering dripping upon the head of an eensy weensy tower thing! With one easy press of a button, our handy dandy gadget flips the board so you don’t seem like a total jerk- the game itself does! Feel like things aren’t very fair? Flip it! Notice your opponent looking a little too happily at your move? Flip it! Just feel bored? Flip it! With extremely powerful mega-watt-volt-lightening batteries, you can use our product as much as you want! Buy it today for only $4,999.99! 

Disclaimer: ANGRYPEEPS CO © is not responsible for any damage of people or property through use of this product. If a miniature queen gets lodged in your eye, then it’s your problem.  

[FatherTiempo he/him]

Spoiler

Thanks Luna, I was working on ShardMints™, but it wasn't quite there yet. I'll save it for next time 

 

[Lunamor she/her]

Spoiler

Sooooorry 

 

[FatherTiempo he/him]

Spoiler

It's fine, I accidentally deleted mine anyway. 

 

Edited December 7, 2019 by FatherTiempo

[Lunamor she/her]

Spoiler

Oh no!  Hate it when that happens.

 

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“Must... buy...” Jimmy said, transfixed.

[FatherTiempo he/him]

The Dark Voice slapped Jimmy in the face. "Focus. Your diffusing skills, explain them to me."

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“Huh? Oh, right, defusing.” Jimmy said, coming out of his trance. “Well I, uh... I usually just find the red wire and cut it, and it works most of the time!”

[FatherTiempo he/him]

The Dark Voice smiles, "Jimmy, my lad. You do have The Knack."

Edited December 7, 2019 by FatherTiempo

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“Oh good!” Jimmy said, elated.

"Wait just a minute," a voice said, coming from seemingly no where. Except... everywhere at once, too. It was the Light Voice, who was sometimes very hard to hear. "Dark Voice, I should have known you were behind this. Jimmy, quick, you need to distance yourself from the Dark Voice."

Edited December 7, 2019 by Ookla the Imperial

[+Doomstick he/him]

Something cut the blue wire

[Lunamor she/her]

It made a tiny little massive explosion.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Every time someone posts on here, I get excited that it's Xino and every time it's not.  It's really depressing. THIS CLIFFHANGER (mountin-faint-er?) IS KILLING ME! Or maybe it's killing Sophie, we don't know. 

[FatherTiempo he/him]

Jimmy rocketed through the air, "It's always the red wire!" He plunged into the darkness, wondering what 'knack' the Dark Voice was talking about.

[Rebecca she/her]

The blast sent Jimmy all the way to Candy Land.

[FatherTiempo he/him]

He slammed into soft gumdrops, sending him bouncing away and landing with a crunch on the gravel way. Jimmy looked up to see angry candy-people, all holding weapons. You see, Jimmy had arrived in the midst of a bloody coup.

[Jaywalk he/him]

King Candy had already fallen.

[Lunamor she/her]

The coup was lead by Queen Frostine.

[FatherTiempo he/him]

Spoiler

Oh Ninja'd

Her icy minions incapacitated the gumdrop dissenters, and created a reign of terror across her kingdom.

Gingerbread men were enslaved, forced to work her great machines of ice-cream manufacture.

 

Edited December 7, 2019 by FatherTiempo

[NameIess]

But then came the silver Seon, herald of Galladon, the dreaded eater of worlds.

[FatherTiempo he/him]

Lord Licorice, Mr. Mint, and Princess Lolly led a rebellion against Queen Frostine, first seizing valuable resources in sherbert explosives.

Mama Nut sided with Queen Frostine, sending the peanut children against the newly liberated gingerbread men.

Jimmy watched in horror.

Edited December 7, 2019 by FatherTiempo

[Jaywalk he/him]

Gloppy didn’t do much. He just sat there, depressed.

[FatherTiempo he/him]

The large head of the Herald descended on the game board. Peanut children and gingerbread pieces flew through the air. Gloppy's tears flowed. Lord Licorice, Mr. Mint, Princess Lolly, and Queen Frostine were locked in ferocious combat.

Jimmy looked down at his feet, and saw the still corpse of King Kandy.

It's always the red wire.

Jimmy reached up and cut the red wire, diffusing the situation.

Spoiler

21,001 Pages!!

Yay!

 

Edited December 7, 2019 by FatherTiempo

[Jaywalk he/him]

And all the pieces were swept off the board.