The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[The Technovore he/him]

Being a spy was dangerous business, especially when dealing with the likes of the 17th Shard. The narrator then edited his post because Butt Venture put a knife to his neck and told him to fix what he had done.

Edited February 12, 2019 by The Technovore

[Kidpen he/him]

He even had some from the LTDoCI post a false page.

Luckily, nobody would ever know the real page was page 239.4

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Butt was not the man he had been when he had started his journey. Watching the universe explode and implode so many times did something to a person.

[Kidpen he/him]

Specifically it made them crave clown blood.

[Ghanderflaffle she/her]

Served only in the skulls of the handerfles.

[Kidpen he/him]

The handerfles are the main producer and seller of organic clown blood.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Strangely, organic clown blood is actually made from the clown plant.

[The Technovore he/him]

Which grows from the brain cells of clowns. It’s a miserable existence to be a clown in the kingdom of the handerfles, no matter what promises of “organic” or “cage-free” they put on the cartons.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Handerfles were a bloodythirsty race. Specifically, a clownbloodthirsty race.

[Jaywalk he/him]

There was another who also craved clown blood--Butterflutter the Seventh. She had no hands and three feet.

[Lunamor she/her]

She was a world renowned tap dancer.

[Ghost of Perdition he/him]

She won an award for the best tap dancer in the world. But unfortunately she couldn't actually accept the award since she had no hands.

[Jaywalk he/him]

But she did have a mouth, which worked just fine.

[BitBitio he/him]

PUPPIES

[Lunamor she/her]

Edit: 1,111th post!!!

But it tasted really bad, so she became very upset and, in her anger, turned into the evil villain Sorol Tadeas. Her favorite pastimes became popping the balloons of small children and saying mean things to puppies to make them cry.

Edited February 12, 2019 by Lunamor

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

It had only been a matter of time before this happened and her family had prepared for it.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

They hired Kadolin Ohlin to take her down.

[Kidpen he/him]

Kadolin Ohlin, however, was worried about scuffing his Shartplate.

[Lunamor she/her]

Or scratching his Bhardslade.

[Jaywalk he/him]

Or hurting the poor cremlings.

On a side note, I wonder how a Sleepless would feel if one of the hordelings got squished.

[The Technovore he/him]

Overall, Kadolin Ohlin was a terrible hitman, and Butterflutter the Seventh’s family had not prepared nearly enough by hiring him. So they fired him, and scratched both his Shartplate and his Bhardslade as a personal insult. Then they sent Butterflutter the Eighth to do the job.

[Kidpen he/him]

But then Kadolin Ohlin hired a hitman for revenge.

[Lunamor she/her]

His name was Kaladin Squallgifted.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

He was secretly a Gushbinder.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

He had been a Gushbinder for some time now actually and he was waiting for the right time to spill.