The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

So Wizard shot him in the head with a dozen cannon balls.

[NameIess]

This too had no effect. Through years of hard training, Scott Sterling had hardened his skull until it was invulnerable.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

But then Scott Sterling realized that the earth, was in fact, a ball. 

[NameIess]

The earth trembled in fear.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

“Be brave, Little Earth,” the earth told itself, “You can defeat Scott Sterling! Bash his head in!”

[NameIess]

Scott Sterling heard this.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

So Scott went and broke the earth with his head.

[NameIess]

This final act of heroism cemented his place as the greatest athlete of all time.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Meanwhile, armies of people who had once lived on earth came to murder Scott Sterling.

[NameIess]

But they could only hit his head, and thus could not kill poor Scott Sterling.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Darth Barnacles asked Scott Sterling if he wanted to join his club.

[NameIess]

Scott Sterling headbutted Darth Barnacles into an alternate dimension known as the afterlife.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Darth Barnacles returned easily and said, "tell me, Matt Meese variant, do you fear death?"

[NameIess]

Scott Sterling did not know anyone by the name of 'Mat Meese'. That sounded like a profoundly weak and cowardly name, the opposite of Scott Sterling.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Darth Barnacles drew his light saber cutlass and said, "Scott Sterling, I name thee Darth Headbutt. do ye accept this title?"

[NameIess]

Scott smiled confidently. "Please no."

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

he shrugged then went to go bother someone else with Pirates of the Caribbean/ Star Wars speeches.

[NameIess]

Scott Sterling went off to go valiantly continue in his incredible athletic feats.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Meanwhile, Nin was confronted with a choice.

[NameIess]

He could either eat lunch now, or meditate for three days to learn a new technique.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Nin decided to have lunch. it was extra special because he was going to eat it with a date.

[NameIess]

His date was Death. It was the only way to free his idiot apprentice from her clutches.

[Ranryu she/her]

Unfortunately, he chose to eat lunch in his mom's basement, where he was rudely interrupted by the sound of a vacuum from upstairs.

Edited August 5, 2022 by Ranryu
Sorry folks I was ignorant

[NameIess]

Unfortunately, the previous post was non-canon. Nameless encouraged Ranryu to make it canon by editing the text to be in bold.

[That1Cellist he/him]

Unfortunately/fortunately, the Cellist just copy pasted the comment to bold in order to make it canon anyway.

Unfortunately, he chose to eat lunch in his mom's basement, where he was rudely interrupted by the sound of a vacuum from upstairs.