The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Butt had kicked bowsers butt many times before he learned how to escape and now had the birthday gear on his birthday.

[NameIess]

?izard had not been idle during this time. He'd gathered a massive army of monsters and used the triforce to make himself invincible.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

?izard was perfectly balanced.

[NameIess]

Or at least that's what the game devs said.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Because that was the only way he could hold the whole triforce.

[NameIess]

The players complained that he was too hard to beat, but the devs were too bust making Zelda: Dark fairies II

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Where Zelda: Dark fairies I was, no one knew.

[NameIess]

No one but one person: The mysterious

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

?izard

[NameIess]

He'd stuffed it in a sack and thrown it into the ocean.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

It was because it included ?izard as the weak first enemy after Zelda: Afterlife was too hard.

[NameIess]

On Zelda: Dark Fairies II's release date, fans were super excited to play the new game. The trailers had been awesome. There was only one problem.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

?izard had gotten it again. This lead to...

[NameIess]

The game getting a million times harder as ?izard used his rudimentary programming skills to make his bossfight harder than the final boss. By adding one million hp and one million damage.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Hundreds of frustrated fans asked Butt Venture to hack into the game and give ?izard only one HP.

Bookwyrm became confused, wondering if what was happening in TLT was in a video game or in real life. So he summoned his Narrationblade and went to face Ganon while Butt and Link were preoccupied with a digital video game war against ?izard.

Edited June 2, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[NameIess]

Ganon absolutely obliterated Bookwyrm, as the Narrator had neglected to obtain the blessing of the goddess.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Bookwyrm had attempted to survive as long as he could, but he had run out of Hearty Elixirs very early on. 

Shoot, he thought after he was defeated. How did I forget that?

Bookwyrm narrated himself to wherever it was that he could obtain the Blessing of the Goddess.

Edited June 2, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[NameIess]

The Goddess told Bookwyrm to go through fifteen trials in order to gain her blessing.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

"Do you mean...Shrines? Or something else?"

Edited June 2, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[NameIess]

The Goddess did not elaborate.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Bookwyrm sighed and set out to try to figure out what the quests were. 

Considering the insanity of this thread, I probably won't even figure out what the quests are before something crazy happens, Bookwyrm thought.

[NameIess]

At that moment, Link succesfully glitched into Ganon's castle.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

But he glitched into the corrupting room of the castle where princess Zelda was.

[NameIess]

This led to the discovery of a new speedrun glitch, wherein rescuing Zelda in one save file without beating the game manipulated the states of other save files, allowing 13 entire seconds to be shaved off the world record.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Suddenly, Link found himself unable to draw his sword.

But Butt was still able to draw his sword. 

This meant Butt had to face both Ganon and ?izard at the same time.

Edited June 2, 2022 by The Bookwyrm
Ninja'd. Which is remarkable, considering the last post was 2 hours ago.