The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Mat he/him]

Which, unfortunately, are not very good for the digestive system.

[NameIess]

The digestive system replied to this insult by going on strike.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

Tim Venture/Butt Janitor was sad. He'd really liked the pretzles.

[NameIess]

But his stomach was steadfast.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

And there was only so far you could go with no digestive system.

[NameIess]

And so Tim Venture/Butt Janitor died.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

There was a huge seramony. Everything cried. Even the pretzles.

Edited August 15, 2021 by Szeth Facpalm

[NameIess]

But then he came back to life.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

The pretzles stopped crying and started screaming in fear.

[NameIess]

The mad scientist screamed "HE IS ALIVE" with appropriate lightning accompaniment.

[+Doomstick he/him]

And appropriate lighting

[NameIess]

But the thunder refused to cooperate. 

[AonEne he/him]

The people in charge of special effects decided to complain to Thor and get him to make his thunder cooperate. 

[NameIess]

But he was too busy filming his new movie, Thor: Highstorms and Chasms.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

So they had to settle for a backup.

[AonEne he/him]

They couldn't have this ceremony without the thunder, after all! 

[xinoehp512 he/him]

But all they could get was Depressed Darrin.

[NameIess]

Darrin, contrary to his name, was actually a very happy individual. Unfortunately, he was really boring.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

So he caused depression in other people.

[AonEne he/him]

Said depression was so powerful that it even caused storms to form in the sky, thus creating the needed thunder. 

[xinoehp512 he/him]

It had a side effect, however.

[NameIess]

The rain that he caused by depressing people was permanent. It followed them forever.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

But the people were too depressed to care.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

Butt Venture's master plan was coming to fruition.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Soon the world would be flooded with tears.