How to Get Upvotes

[Modal Seoul he/him]

I wasn't sure which forum I should put this in, as its purpose is comedic. But whatever.

Something special about the 17th Shard is the reputation levels (AKA these stupid ranks) They range from everywhere from Worldbringer to Worldhopper. From Darkeyes to Lighteyes. From Wyrn the King to So 1337 Hoid Can't Compete. But one question remains. How on Nalthis do you get these storming titles? What do you do? Well, stop here, my friends. For here is the ever-handy instruction guide, HOW TO GET UPVOTES. There are three definitive steps.

First,  STEP 1: GET AN ACCOUNT

This step is fairly simple. First, you get an account. To do this, you need to fill in all your information, like your email, name, social security number, Twitter password, birthday, artistic license, criminal record, kill count, etc. Then you need a name for yourself. Not your real name or your true name, not even the name you use in Dungeons and Dragons. You need to get a name for yourself on the Shard. Let's go with something creative...how about.....Brandon'sBiggestFan36? Sure. That will work. So, congratulations! You have an account and a sweet name, and now introduce yourself to the invigorating world of the Shard! You can do this in multiple ways. Introduce yourself in the aptly named forum "Introduce Yourself!". Make a theory for everyone to stew over. (Or immediately smack down with ancient evidence they have on hand. "Ah ha! That's were you're wrong! In WoB, passage 14, sub-section 7, paragraph 5, sentence 8, Brandon specifically states......" - @Overstorm) Or just show yourself in the ever helpful Community forum. You'll get a few upvotes to start you on your journey down the Yellow Brick Road, then you're off!

STEP 2: GAIN UPVOTES

So there are multiple ways you can do this. Enough to make sub-points about them.

A. YOU'RE AN ADMIN OR IMPORTANT PERSON

Admins are the superheroes of the Shard. If you're an admin like @Chaos or @Mestiv, you post something awesome all the time and you gather a fanbase or a club or something, then you're gaining 20 upvotes every post. If you're not an admin or a moderator, then you're probably @PeterAhlstrom who only needs to post a sentence to get about 50 upvotes in one fell swoop.

B. YOU'RE AN ALL-STAR

If you get a lot of upvotes, faster than Hoid can eat his Szechuan noodles, then you are one of the all-stars of the Shardworld. A prime example is @Calderis, who, frankly, last time I checked, was confused about why he gathered so many upvotes so quickly. (Hey, if I'm wrong, then feel free to persecute me, @Calderis) Otherwise, you're part of the "Show your face in your profile pic" group. (Ex.: @Mestiv @Left @PlanetReelo and until recently @Argent and others) The reason these people get a bunch of upvotes is because they have the guts to display their faces to a bunch of people they don't even know. (The exception is the topic "What Do You Look Like?" which is a face gallery.)

C. YOU POST THEORIES

Theories are a gold mine of upvotes. Not only are they philosophical, they just are pretty interesting over all. Then you go, "Wow. That was pretty intriguing!" Then you press that up arrow. @Yata is a good example of this.

D. YOU HAVE AN ONGOING TOPIC

In a vain, self-advertising move we'll use our own as an example. You make a topic that allows you to post regularly, like a blog. Such like, "Entertainment Reviews(and Debate)", a link which can be found in the signature below. Be sure to hit that upvote button and follow it! But if you have a topic like that, you get a fair amount.

STEP 3: WAIT

Sometimes you have to be patient. With us, our Entertainment topic isn't all that popular and we don't get many upvotes. But we endure, and it pays off. (And just in case you're wondering, that was not an attempt to guilt trip people into reading our topic) For most, this tends to be the most common way to gain upvotes. But we adventure on!

This concludes our guide, HOW TO GET UPVOTES. Thank you for wasting your time to read this.

[Argent he/him]

4 minutes ago, Captains Domon said:

then you're probably @PeterAhlstrom who only needs to post a sentence to get about 50 upvotes in one fell swoop.

I mean, that's not entirely wrong...

[Calderis he/him]

I absolutely do not understand my rep, but if your ideas here are correct, I do a mixture of them. I post theories, my avatar is a cleverly altered version of my face, and for some reason people have deemed me an allstar despite my general disdain and lack of social skills. 

[King Cole he/him]

11 minutes ago, Calderis said:

I absolutely do not understand my rep, but if your ideas here are correct, I do a mixture of them. I post theories, my avatar is a cleverly altered version of my face, and for some reason people have deemed me an allstar despite my general disdain and lack of social skills. 

I always upvote you becaue you are always so quick to answer my questions

[+Extesian he/him]

Memes. S'all about the memes yo.

[Left he/him]

I'm not sure that the fact that I use my face for my profile adds to my rep gains. The vast majority of my rep came from back when I was active in the social threads and was posting lengthy and/or humorous posts-often with memes- multiple times daily. Back in those days I used an avatar from my favorite anime, not my face. I think the rep I draw now mostly comes from when I give good book or tv recommendations or my friends pitty-upvote me 

[Mestiv he/him]

That was actually funny, well done

End I'm flattered to be consider an admin I'm just a humble global moderator 

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

@Captains Domon you can also create humouros posts that people find funny. Pretty much like this one 

[Oversleep]

Then there are those dark, weird corners of the Shard known as Roleplaying. Nobody sane ventures there; but from what we managed to gather, there's a lot of rep dealing in there.

[Calderis he/him]

9 minutes ago, Overstorm said:

Then there are those dark, weird corners of the Shard known as Roleplaying. Nobody sane ventures there; but from what we managed to gather, there's a lot of rep dealing in there.

The deep, dark world of counterfeit reputation. 

[Shqueeves]

Based on your tips, I should be getting more upvotes. I have an account with a creative name, my profile pic is my face, and I'm great at waiting. You lied to me. 

[Oversleep]

Just now, Shqueeves said:

Based on your tips, I should be getting more upvotes. I have an account with a creative name, my profile pic is my face, and I'm great at waiting. You lied to me. 

You also need to do some posting though

[Shqueeves]

1 minute ago, Overstorm said:

You also need to do some posting though

Details details

[Rage_Fortress he/him]

I would add that there is a fifth way to gain upvotes which is how I've gained nearly every single one I have obtained.

E. Say something funny.

My theories are not good. I'm not a superstar. But on occasion I might say something someone finds humor in.

[Steeldancer he/him]

1 hour ago, Overstorm said:

Then there are those dark, weird corners of the Shard known as Roleplaying. Nobody sane ventures there; but from what we managed to gather, there's a lot of rep dealing in there.

Not all upvotes come from there! Stupid comments in Oathbringer threads are really what bring in the votes. Or smart ones. 

That being said, I'm not entirely sane, so you might be right. 

Then, if you make witty comments on your new ranks, you can get upvotes for being upvoted. Investment at its finest 

Edited October 26, 2017 by Steeldancer

[Stark he/him]

Other useful tips to get the upvotes:  Wear pants.  Some of the most highly upvoted members of this site are among the most skilled pants-wearers you can find, though some have begun experimenting with more advanced lower body coverings.  Realistically, wearing any lower body covering will get you a few upvotes, but pants tend to be the easiest to master.

 

Pants wearing is a stepping stone into the really high level reputation earner (750+ rep) of having hidden, pattern-shaped speakers on your wall, rigged to exclaim "No Mating" any time someone walks past them.  Pattern, and his chaperoning skills are like clickbait for upvotes.  Having mastered pants just lets them no you're serious.

 

Other than that - art.  Win at art. Everybody likes to give upvotes to the artists on the site - upvotes are kinda like money, only you can't use it to feed yourself.  So exposure?  Or have a new insightful WOB from a book signing that was written down, and therefore un-snipable by the recorders - those get upvotes to.  Making funnies, especially on trending threads, seems to help.

 

But I really do think the secret is pants.  I wear almost pants everyday, and I'm pretty happy with my reputation level - admittedly, some days I experiment with shorts.  But shorts days tend to have me away from the computer, and not posting, so shorts do not help your reputation.  So there must be a correlation, right?

[Shqueeves]

57 minutes ago, Steeldancer said:

Not all upvotes come from there! Stupid comments in Oathbringer threads are really what bring in the votes. Or smart ones. 

That being said, I'm not entirely sane, so you might be right. 

Then, if you make witty comments on your new ranks, you can get upvotes for being upvoted. Investment at its finest 

Curse my avoidance of Oathbringer spoilers. But I'll get the satisfaction of reading it all in one go, so it balances out in the end

[Steeldancer he/him]

50 minutes ago, Shqueeves said:

Curse my avoidance of Oathbringer spoilers. But I'll get the satisfaction of reading it all in one go, so it balances out in the end

Not in upvotes  Tuesday are a storm of people throwing upvotes at things. 

[Faceless Mist-Wraith he/him]

On October 25, 2017 at 9:10 PM, Captains Domon said:

STEP 3: WAIT

Or if you're not a patient person, all you have to do is:

1. Systematically track down a couple sharders (23 is the recommended number, more than this and it gets suspicious).

2. Take careful note of when they're are on the Shard, as well as which parts of the forum they frequently visit.

3. Tailor a series of posts to those sharders and Riot their emotions when they view them.

 

[anna she/her]

On 10/25/2017 at 9:10 PM, Captains Domon said:

Then you need a name for yourself. Not your real name or your true name

I guess I need to do a better job following directions ...

[thegatorgirl00 she/her]

10 hours ago, Faceless Mist-Wraith said:

Or if you're not a patient person, all you have to do is:

1. Systematically track down a couple sharders (23 is the recommended number, more than this and it gets suspicious).

2. Take careful note of when they're are on the Shard, as well as which parts of the forum they frequently visit.

3. Tailor a series of posts to those sharders and Riot their emotions when they view them.

 

*puts on aluminum foil hat* 

I still like this post. It's safe to upvote. 

[The Invested Beard]

Step 4: Mention My Little Pony.

 

[Steeldancer he/him]

On 10/27/2017 at 4:45 PM, The Invested Beard said:

Step 4: Mention My Little Pony.

 

Thats literally just tempting my cruel side to downvote. 

[Ammanas]

There seems to be a lot of Sharders that are really into My Little Pony for whatever reason. @The Invested Beard is probably offering some sage advice. I don't understand, but to each their own

[+Slowswift]

10 minutes ago, Ammanas said:

There seems to be a lot of Sharders that are really into My Little Pony for whatever reason. @The Invested Beard is probably offering some sage advice. I don't understand, but to each their own

Oddly enough, a good many of us congregated in the aforementioned dark, weird corners of the Shard.