Favorite Wayne Quote

[firstRainbowRose she/her]

Alright, I am on a mission -- I want to know what the Sharders think is the best Wayne quote. Or really, just your favorite.

[Storming Radiant he/him]

This is just the one that popped up intocmy head. there's just too many of them, and they're all great!

Quote

That hat looks ridiculous.”
“Fortunately, I can change hats,” Wayne said, “while you, sir, are stuck with that face.

 

[Unhinged he/him]

this one defiantly, also I'm writing this from memory so I might not have it exact.

Quote

Wax: "Logic doesn't work on Wayne."
Wayne: "I bought a ward against it off a traveling fortune-teller, It lets me add two 'n' two and get a pickle."

 

[Kingsdaughter613 she/her]

I concur with the above.

[WhiteLeeopard she/her]

Wayne: "Proper loafing requires company. One man lying about is being idle; two men lying about is a lunch break"

 

“What I need to do,” Wayne said, “is get the whole city drunk.”

MeLaan: “Or, you know, advocate workers’ rights to bring down working hours, improve conditions, and meet a base minimum of pay.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Wayne said. “That too. But if I could get everybody drunk, think how much happier this city would be.”

[Thrand_Antharo]

I dont have the quote to hand but my favorite is when he says that his hat is lucky, because he's never died while wearing it.

[Andy92]

Quote

"Plan?” Marasi asked.
“Not dyin’.”
“Anything more detailed than that?”
“Not dyin’ … today?"

Quote

"I ain’t drunk,” Wayne said, sniffling. “I’m investigatin’ alternative states of sobriety."

 

[The Sovereign]

A few of my favorites:

Quote

 

Marasi: Wayne?

Voice from the darkness: He is dead, young lady. I am sorry for your loss.

Marasi: [gasp of horror]

Voice from the darkness: Yes, he was simply too handsome, too clever, and too immensely remarkable in all aspects of his existence to allow to live. It took a hundred men to bring him down, and he killed all but one. His last words were "Tell Wax...that he's a total git...and he still owes me five notes."

Marasi: Wayne!

 

Quote

"I ain’t drunk,” Wayne said, sniffling. “I’m investigatin’ alternative states of sobriety.”

 

Quote

“Proper loafing requires company.One man lying about is being idle; two men lying about is a lunch break.”

 

Quote

“You didn’t promise to kill me,” Wayne said, pulling on his socks. “You promised to have killed me. That there be the present perfect tense.” 

 

Edited June 28, 2017 by The Sovereign

[Steeldancer he/him]

I love the one where Marasi is shocked by the depth she discovered in Steris, and then Wayne crushes all depth in the world by asking about whether sisters do the same things they do in pub songs that always makes me laugh out loud. 

[The Sovereign]

19 hours ago, Thrand_Antharo said:

I dont have the quote to hand but my favorite is when he says that his hat is lucky, because he's never died while wearing it.

Here you go:
 

Quote

“Wayne's a little attached to that hat," Waxillium said. "He thinks it's lucky."
Wayne: "It is lucky. I ain't never died while wearing that hat." 
Marasi frowned. "I ... I'm not sure I know how to respond."
Wax: "That's a common reaction to Wayne.”

 

Edited June 28, 2017 by The Sovereign

[Ammanas]

Wax: "You're right of course"

Wayne: "Usually am"

"Except that one time at Lessie's bithday"

You always have to bring that up, don't you? Honest mistake.

You put dynamite in the oven, Wayne

Gotta hide a gift where nobody will look for it.

-Shadows of Self ch 17

 

[garlick]

When wax asked. "How's it taste". 

Wayne responded "like cotton candy made of baby"

Edited July 24, 2017 by garlick

[Bork]

I think Wax is the one that said it, but he said it was something Wayne has said. "Greet each day with a smile, so it doesn't know what you're planning on doing to it."

[AbsentKeeper he/him]

Wayne is one of my favorite characters in the cosmere, and there's a lot of great quotes here. This is my favorite though.

Quote

Wax: "Your grasp of the language is startling, considering how you so frequently brutalize it.”

Wayne: “Ain’t nobody what knows the cow better than the butcher, Wax.”

Edit: Oh, and this one.

Quote

Wayne: "You can never have too many pairs of black pumps. They go with rusting everything!"

Woman:"But, you're a man."

Wayne: "Sure I am, checked last time I pissed! Now, the shoes?"

 

Edited August 2, 2017 by Cowmanthethird

[AnonymousFan]

This one is from memory. Not exactly a Wayne quote but it's about Wayne.

Quote

Marasi "What! Wayne can read?"

Wax: "He reads all the time, you should hear him doing the voices to himself"

Now ever since reading that I can picture Wayne sitting in a chair reading a book, thinkin' nobody is looking reading all the dialogue between out loud in different voices

[17th Splinter he/him]

"I've never died while wearing this hat!"

[Sparkrunner he/him]

Loosely paraphrased: "What makes no sense is that people die when they're old, when logic says that's when they have the most practice not dying."

Marasi: "You are drinking cooking sherry."

"Did you just shortchange that man, Wayne?"

[Irregular he/him]

He didn't really said it, but he was thinking it so I hope it counts:

Quote

How did they decide what was valuable? Did they all just gather together, sit around in their suits and gowns, and say, “Oi. Let’s start eatin’ fish eggs, and make the stuff real expensive. That’ll rust their brains, it will.” Then they’d have a nice round of rich folks’ laughter and throw some servants off the top of a building to see what kind of splats they’d make when they hit.

 

[Ethan_sedai he/him]

Wayne: "aha!" 

Marasi: "Aalcohol?

Wayne: "Peanuts."

 

Also:

Wayne: "speaking of shoes, Gin, will you swap me your hat for this one?"

Gin: "your Shoe? what would I do with a man's shoe?"

Wayne: "wear it next time you gotta be a fellow"

 

One more:

Wayne: "How about I throw in these peanuts with the shoe?"

Gin: "Those are my peanuts! from this very room!"

Wayne: "But they're worth more now. On account of my being real hungry."

 

Edit: and the rest of his quotes from that scene. they're all hilarious.

Edited September 18, 2017 by ethan_sedai

[Sliverofnone]

"Whenever I'm thinkin' my life is miserable, I remember him, and tell myself, 'Well,  Wayne. At least you ain't a broke, d*#kless feller what can't even pick his nose properly.' And I feels better."

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

So I don't exactly know the quote word-for-word, and it was actually Wax quoting Wayne, but it goes something like this: "Until you know for sure, pretend like every girl you know has an older brother who's bigger and stronger than you."

I think that's so sweet and honorable of him.

[Niteshado he/him]

“I need you to stay behind as we go into those slums,” Wayne said, determined to impress solemnity into his voice. “It’s not that I don’t want your help. I do. It’s just going to be too dangerous for you. You need to stay where I know you’re safe. No arguments. I’m sorry.” 

“Wayne,” Wax said, walking past. “Stop talking to your hat and get over here.” 

[Podman]

On 6/24/2017 at 9:46 PM, firstRainbowRose said:

Alright, I am on a mission -- I want to know what the Sharders think is the best Wayne quote. Or really, just your favorite.

Well, there goes all my upvotes. 

[Mistspren she/her]

Wayne is just a great character.

Quote

“Looks like we’re going to need a new prime suspect, Wax,” Wayne said. “This one downright refuses to not be dead already.”

 

[Stark he/him]

On 8/10/2017 at 1:47 PM, AnonymousFan said:

This one is from memory. Not exactly a Wayne quote but it's about Wayne.

Now ever since reading that I can picture Wayne sitting in a chair reading a book, thinkin' nobody is looking reading all the dialogue between out loud in different voices

I'd love to have the meta experience of Wayne doing the audiobooks for Mistborn.