Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

42 minutes ago, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

Twi, here are hugs.

Thanks.

[Delightful]

*hugs*

its late and I'll probably mess up the how of saying this but 

making friends, any relationship is a risk. You're risking rejection but you might gain an awesome friendship. And friendships take time. But you also have to try take it from one step to another. If someone is a say hi in the street friend, invite them out for a coffee or whatever. Either it's awkward all round and fine, or you enjoy spending time with each other, your bond deepens a little, next time you offer to go for coffee or a dr who marathon or whatever it's less weird. Make excuses to do things together. If they don't want to they'll have conveniently pre booked things and oh darn that time doesn't work. Spend time with people. Open up a little about your life, not super personal to begin with, like a funny story about Bruce or something. Let them into your world a little and listen to them talk about theirs and laugh and be sympathetic. You gotta be vulnerable so you do it slowly and test the waters. Like at this point I know you'll forgive me for the ramble. I would never have done this my first week or month on the Shard. 

Speaking of which before my brain actually shuts of *hugs*

[A Budgie she/her]

*hugs*
ALL THE HUGS
And if you ever feel sad, just remember that galahs go into their nesting boxes/treeholes by bending their heads backwards like they're doing limbo into it and it's the cutest thing.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

5 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

…could I get hugs, please? 

I've just been feeling lonely and stressed out. It's like….I guess I'm realizing that I don't really know how to make friends. Even if someone else and I hit it off, I never know if they want me to call them, or if we're "stop and chat for a few minutes when we pass on the street" friends, or if they were just being polite. And I've signed up for meetups online, but most of the events they schedule are on nights when I work, so that's a bust. I know church is an obvious place to meet people, but….I don't know if I'm ready to go back yet. Or if I even belong there anymore. I could just pick one and go, but…I don't know, it feels dishonest. 

On top of that, SpongeBob has been getting more hours, not less, so I'm seeing more of him. He has this horrible habit of breaking policy to make people happy, so that when I follow policy, I look like the ogre. So that leaves me wondering if I'm secretly getting mountains of negative feedback; and even though the higher-ups would probably dismiss any criticism of me for following policy, the patron could still write something about me being rude or difficult. 

And then there's my family. I've always gotten along decently with my siblings, but their lives are carrying on back in Spokane while I'm here. I'll get texts about some random thing that's happening that they're all privy to, but I have no idea what's going on. And….sometimes I feel like I'll say the wrong thing around them. It's harder to tell over text, which doesn't make it any better. 

I just feel like I'm stranded right now: I have my family back in Spokane, where I've never really fit; and I have a city here, where I don't know if I fit. And I'm alone. If something went wrong, I'd be miles away from anyone I know. And I don't know how to change that, because I feel like every time I try, I'm shut out either by schedules or by rules I don't know. 

*hugs.

We are all alone in this world

But we can all be alone together

Sorry. It's just. storm. I am a horrible friend. He's so hellbent on hating himself. Why can't he see I love him?

Edited March 10, 2017 by Darkness Ascendant

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

4 hours ago, Deliiiiiightful said:

*hugs*

its late and I'll probably mess up the how of saying this but 

making friends, any relationship is a risk. You're risking rejection but you might gain an awesome friendship. And friendships take time. But you also have to try take it from one step to another. If someone is a say hi in the street friend, invite them out for a coffee or whatever. Either it's awkward all round and fine, or you enjoy spending time with each other, your bond deepens a little, next time you offer to go for coffee or a dr who marathon or whatever it's less weird. Make excuses to do things together. If they don't want to they'll have conveniently pre booked things and oh darn that time doesn't work. Spend time with people. Open up a little about your life, not super personal to begin with, like a funny story about Bruce or something. Let them into your world a little and listen to them talk about theirs and laugh and be sympathetic. You gotta be vulnerable so you do it slowly and test the waters. Like at this point I know you'll forgive me for the ramble. I would never have done this my first week or month on the Shard. 

Speaking of which before my brain actually shuts of *hugs*

Thanks.  

And…I know there's a risk involved; I'm just afraid to take it. I mean, I've taken that risk and had it turn out badly before. And since I still don't know if it was me or them (but I assume it was mostly me because not only is that how I roll, but I haven't had the best self-awareness in the past), I usually wait on the other person to make the first move, because I want to be sure they're actually interested. Which means that either nobody is interested, or they're all waiting on me to make the first move. It's like, I know there's no way to get a guarantee….but I know that if I make the first move and get turned down, then things will be awkward between us from then on. 

2 hours ago, A Budgie said:

*hugs*
ALL THE HUGS
And if you ever feel sad, just remember that galahs go into their nesting boxes/treeholes by bending their heads backwards like they're doing limbo into it and it's the cutest thing.

I feel better already.  

47 minutes ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

*hugs.

We are all alone in this world

But we can all be alone together

Sorry. It's just. storm. I am a horrible friend. He's so hellbent on hating himself. Why can't he see I love him?

Thanks.  (That's a good Fall Out Boy song, by the way—"Alone Together.") 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

3 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Thanks.  (That's a good Fall Out Boy song, by the way—"Alone Together.") 

ha didn't think of fallout boy.

[Quiver he/him]

Sweet Celestia am I tired.

12 hour shift is not fun. 12 hours which are so busy that I get -maybe and at most- a 30 minute break for the entire night?

I'm gonna go sleep, and pray tonight's shift goes easier.

Edited March 10, 2017 by Quiver

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

10 minutes ago, Quiver said:

Sweet Celestia am I tired.

12 hour shift is not fun. 12 hours which are so busy that I get -maybe and at most- a 30 minute break for the entire night?

I'm gonna go sleep, and pray tonight's shift goes easier.

Sweet dreams bro!

*hugs

[Silverblade5 he/him]

2 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

….but I know that if I make the first move and get turned down, then things will be wkward between us from then on. 

 

Not so. One of my most recent friendships was formed by me and the other guy constantly arguing and insulting each other. We both gave as good as we got, and frequently engaged in [url="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SnarkToSnarkCombat"]Snark to snark combat[/url] and we could probably be described as [url="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VitriolicBestBuds"]Vitriolic best buds[/url]. Neither of us made a first move. We just treated each other equally terribly  , and things just went from there. For a good example, think of those two judges on the Voice who are constantly bickering . 

[A Budgie she/her]

@Silverblade5 I see what you're trying to do there, but it didn't work.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

@A Budgie I apologize for my inability to communicate motivating comments

[Quiver he/him]

'kay, kind of a complaint I have.

I currently have 14 holiday days. I work 4 days a week, so taking that many off nets me 12 days off. So, naturally, if I'm going to book holidays, it's only really "worth" it to book a week off.
Our tax year ends at the end of June, and my job has said they *might* let us carry over five holidays. Or maybe three holidays. Or maybe none. They've been kind of vague on it.

I cannot spend my holidays within that time frame. I held off booking holidays because first off all I didn't know how many I had - I had to hound them for weeks to get a number, and it's out of date - and because I wanted to get a set rota, because the last time I booked holidays, I ended up taking my holidays on the only days I was off for that week. So I ended up working every other day that week, when I wanted time off.

Problem: everyone else is now spending our holidays, too, so I am finding it hard to actually GET my holidays in and approved.
It's... annoying. Honestly, I'm tempted to just start booking holidays for July, August, etc; putting in holidays for the next tax year, because they haven't said anything about [inot[/I] being allowed to do that.

(Plus, apparently the bosses keep praising me for stuff. So I'm hoping I am enough clout to be able to do that. Just worried that seems... underhanded?)

[soyperson]

16 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

…could I get hugs, please? 

I've just been feeling lonely and stressed out. It's like….I guess I'm realizing that I don't really know how to make friends. Even if someone else and I hit it off, I never know if they want me to call them, or if we're "stop and chat for a few minutes when we pass on the street" friends, or if they were just being polite. And I've signed up for meetups online, but most of the events they schedule are on nights when I work, so that's a bust. I know church is an obvious place to meet people, but….I don't know if I'm ready to go back yet. Or if I even belong there anymore. I could just pick one and go, but…I don't know, it feels dishonest. 

On top of that, SpongeBob has been getting more hours, not less, so I'm seeing more of him. He has this horrible habit of breaking policy to make people happy, so that when I follow policy, I look like the ogre. So that leaves me wondering if I'm secretly getting mountains of negative feedback; and even though the higher-ups would probably dismiss any criticism of me for following policy, the patron could still write something about me being rude or difficult. 

And then there's my family. I've always gotten along decently with my siblings, but their lives are carrying on back in Spokane while I'm here. I'll get texts about some random thing that's happening that they're all privy to, but I have no idea what's going on. And….sometimes I feel like I'll say the wrong thing around them. It's harder to tell over text, which doesn't make it any better. 

I just feel like I'm stranded right now: I have my family back in Spokane, where I've never really fit; and I have a city here, where I don't know if I fit. And I'm alone. If something went wrong, I'd be miles away from anyone I know. And I don't know how to change that, because I feel like every time I try, I'm shut out either by schedules or by rules I don't know. 

*hugs*

Twi, you can dm me anytime you'd like to talk, alright? I'm here for you.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

57 minutes ago, Quiver said:

'kay, kind of a complaint I have.

I currently have 14 holiday days. I work 4 days a week, so taking that many off nets me 12 days off. So, naturally, if I'm going to book holidays, it's only really "worth" it to book a week off.
Our tax year ends at the end of June, and my job has said they *might* let us carry over five holidays. Or maybe three holidays. Or maybe none. They've been kind of vague on it.

I cannot spend my holidays within that time frame. I held off booking holidays because first off all I didn't know how many I had - I had to hound them for weeks to get a number, and it's out of date - and because I wanted to get a set rota, because the last time I booked holidays, I ended up taking my holidays on the only days I was off for that week. So I ended up working every other day that week, when I wanted time off.

Problem: everyone else is now spending our holidays, too, so I am finding it hard to actually GET my holidays in and approved.
It's... annoying. Honestly, I'm tempted to just start booking holidays for July, August, etc; putting in holidays for the next tax year, because they haven't said anything about [inot[/I] being allowed to do that.

(Plus, apparently the bosses keep praising me for stuff. So I'm hoping I am enough clout to be able to do that. Just worried that seems... underhanded?)

Take as much vacation time as you can, as soon as you can. It sounds to me like they're trying to cheat you out of your vacation days. Don't let them. Take your vacation, and if they come up to you "asking" if you can maybe work one or two days that you had off, lie your chull off and tell them you'll be on the other side of the country. Don't feel like you're being underhanded. They're being underhanded here. Show them that you will not be cheated out of what's rightfully yours. 

45 minutes ago, bleeder said:

*hugs*

Twi, you can dm me anytime you'd like to talk, alright? I'm here for you.

Thanks.  

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

I'm being bullied again. You would think people would give it up by Year 12/12th grade?!

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

29 minutes ago, Queen Elsa Steelheart said:

I'm being bullied again. You would think people would give it up by Year 12/12th grade?!

bullied in Yr12? Are people honest to Frigg still that immature?!

*hugs* Bullying is a horrible thing to go through...let alone in Yr 12...

If you need to talk, we're here.

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

3 minutes ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

bullied in Yr12? Are people honest to Frigg still that immature?!

*hugs* Bullying is a horrible thing to go through...let alone in Yr 12...

If you need to talk, we're here.

Thank you. and ikr. My year group is horrid. I haven't stopped crying.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

42 minutes ago, Queen Elsa Steelheart said:

Thank you. and ikr. My year group is horrid. I haven't stopped crying.

 It sure does sound horrid. At the very least crying is therapeutic.

[A Budgie she/her]

1 hour ago, Queen Elsa Steelheart said:

I'm being bullied again. You would think people would give it up by Year 12/12th grade?!

Woah. I was bullied throughout primary school, so I know the feeling...but at high school I've never been bullied. That's awful.

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

34 minutes ago, A Budgie said:

Woah. I was bullied throughout primary school, so I know the feeling...but at high school I've never been bullied. That's awful.

In Year 10 and Year 11 it stopped, but it came up again. People have been cyber bullying me too in my year. I blocked all of them on my phone and Facebook

Edited March 13, 2017 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

7 minutes ago, Queen Elsa Steelheart said:

In Year 10 and Year 11 it stopped, but it came up again. People have been cyber bullying me too in my year. I blocked all of them on my phone and Facebook

 *hugs

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

18 minutes ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

 *hugs

Thanks for hugs.  Blocking mean people is rather amusing 

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

18 minutes ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

 *hugs

Thanks for hugs.  Blocking mean people is rather amusing 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

32 minutes ago, Queen Elsa Steelheart said:

Thanks for hugs.  Blocking mean people is rather amusing 

*more hugs*

If you ever feel the need to rant, feel free to PM me. I know firsthand how awful bullying can be. 

[Modal Seoul he/him]

2 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

*more hugs*

If you ever feel the need to rant, feel free to PM me. I know firsthand how awful bullying can be. 

Is that an invitation for everyone or just the Queen?