Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Young Bard he/him]

I wish your brother well, Stormgate. I... really don't know what else I can do.

[Blaze1616 he/him]

This past weekend one of my coworkers passed away. We still aren't sure what happened to him, but he was only 45 years old. He left behind a wife of 29, two teenage daughters from a previous marriage, and a son that is only 2 years old...

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

This past weekend one of my coworkers passed away. We still aren't sure what happened to him, but he was only 45 years old. He left behind a wife of 29, two teenage daughters from a previous marriage, and a son that is only 2 years old...

Oh no!! I wish I could send flowers! Any possible reasons for passing away?

Stormgate, I'm so sorry about your brother.

[Blaze1616 he/him]

Oh no!! I wish I could send flowers! Any possible reasons for passing away?

 

No one in the office has heard anything regarding why he passed, and if they have they aren't sharing. But my company started a donation line for his son to go to college, which I thought was nice.

[Ookla the Absent]

I have a friend who claims not to be depressed, but describes the feelings perfectly. She staunchly refuses to admit it to herself, but gets annoyed if I tell her that I feel exactly the same.

I'm afraid she'll eventually lose it and do something to herself, but I can't find a way to stop it.

 

Doesn't make me feel to hot, either.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I have a friend who claims not to be depressed, but describes the feelings perfectly. She staunchly refuses to admit it to herself, but gets annoyed if I tell her that I feel exactly the same.

I'm afraid she'll eventually lose it and do something to herself, but I can't find a way to stop it.

 

Doesn't make me feel to hot, either.

 

I don't know what to tell you. I've been somewhere like that before—when I was a teen, a therapist diagnosed me with mild depression, but the more I look back the more convinced I am that I was pretty severely depressed. Do her parents believe in depression? 

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do aside from being there if she decides she wants help and encouraging her to seek it from professionals.

The latter may be the lynchpin. I was raised to think professional psychologists were sex obsessed quacks and it took a bit for me to overcome that aversion. Demystifying the process by speaking of your experience could help with that.

[Kaymyth she/her]

I have a friend who claims not to be depressed, but describes the feelings perfectly. She staunchly refuses to admit it to herself, but gets annoyed if I tell her that I feel exactly the same.

I'm afraid she'll eventually lose it and do something to herself, but I can't find a way to stop it.

 

Doesn't make me feel to hot, either.

 

Popping in here to reply during lunch...and Twi and Orlion already covered all I was going to say.  There's not much you can do but be there for her and wait for her to accept that she has a problem she needs help with.

 

I'm sorry.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Remember that trip my parents bullied me into booking—and paying for—without getting the go-ahead from JPL first? 

 

Yeah. Turns out those days might not work out after all. They have to get approval from the director and everything first, which I tried to communicate to the parental units, a fact they conveniently ignored. 

 

I'm about to text them all now with the news. I'm holding out hope that the director will approve the days I already booked. 

 

And no matter what, I really, really, really hate my parents right now. 

Edited February 12, 2016 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Well, now you got something to throw in their faces...grumble...

Usually, I think you can change days with air tickets. Their might be strategy to do so, but calling customer service and explaining the situation should work out fine. It's a pain, but you shouldn't lose any money, I think.

And if/when your parents use this development to say they were right all along, tell them to go suck some eggs.

[Kaymyth she/her]

Well, now you got something to throw in their faces...grumble...

Usually, I think you can change days with air tickets. Their might be strategy to do so, but calling customer service and explaining the situation should work out fine. It's a pain, but you shouldn't lose any money, I think.

And if/when your parents use this development to say they were right all along, tell them to go suck some eggs.

 

Preferably eggs that have been hiding in the back of the refrigerator since 2005.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Well, now you got something to throw in their faces...grumble...

Usually, I think you can change days with air tickets. Their might be strategy to do so, but calling customer service and explaining the situation should work out fine. It's a pain, but you shouldn't lose any money, I think.

And if/when your parents use this development to say they were right all along, tell them to go suck some eggs.

Preferably eggs that have been hiding in the back of the refrigerator since 2005.

 

Well, my dad just asked "Who said those dates were clear in the first place?" so I told him flat-out that I booked them when he and my mom wanted me to get everything nailed down. 

 

And I'm going to start up a GoFundMe for moving expenses, post it around on Tumblr. Even if I only get a few donations, it'll help defray the costs that my parents sure as storms won't cover. 

[Briar King]

Ah man I'm bummed... Trump was in Louisiana last night and I didn't know it. I would have driven to Baton Rouge just to hear him in person. Can't believe my news in Lake Charles didn't say anything about it.

[Left he/him]

I've got a headache for probably the fifth time this week. None of them have been debilitating, but I'm really tired of this pain and don't know what's causing it. Usually my migraines have some kind of trigger, but I'm really not sure what it is this week.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

I've got a headache for probably the fifth time this week. None of them have been debilitating, but I'm really tired of this pain and don't know what's causing it. Usually my migraines have some kind of trigger, but I'm really not sure what it is this week.

How much water have you been drinking? How much sleep have you been getting?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Earlier this evening, my mom decided to change tactics: She's acting as though I've already decided not to pursue the Metarie job further. She told me to make a list of all the questions I should ask up front, and share it with her and Dad (of course!), adding that "It'll happen. You'll get a job here pretty soon." And I just realized a few minutes ago what she's doing: 

 

 

Thank you, Tangled. Thank you so much. You are so important to me. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

Earlier this evening, my mom decided to change tactics: She's acting as though I've already decided not to pursue the Metarie job further. She told me to make a list of all the questions I should ask up front, and share it with her and Dad (of course!), adding that "It'll happen. You'll get a job here pretty soon." And I just realized a few minutes ago what she's doing: 

 

 

Thank you, Tangled. Thank you so much. You are so important to me. 

 

That woman.  There are so many things I want to say about her, and none of them are remotely appropriate to say here. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

That woman.  There are so many things I want to say about her, and none of them are remotely appropriate to say here. 

 

I'm really, really hoping that the dates I've already booked work out, because she's told me to "write these people off" if they don't work out and I don't think I can stand up to her on this. I mean, she still hasn't paid me back for my brother's ticket and I don't know how to broach the topic without risking making her mad. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

I'm really, really hoping that the dates I've already booked work out, because she's told me to "write these people off" if they don't work out and I don't think I can stand up to her on this. I mean, she still hasn't paid me back for my brother's ticket and I don't know how to broach the topic without risking making her mad. 

 

Yes.  You.  CAN.

 

You will not let this woman ruin your life.  Because that's what she's trying to do; destroy everything you're trying to build so that you'll be dependent on her forever and she can lord it over you until the end of her days.  You will not let her win.  You will be TwiLyght Triumphant, you will take this job and rock everyone's socks off, and you will live in the cool city that you so badly want to live in.

 

Whatever it takes, I've got your back in this.  Need to pour your heart out via PM?  Hit me.  Need someone to talk you down from giving up?  I'll give you my phone number.  Need a place to fall back on if this burns a bunch of bridges with your family?  Let me teach you about this little concept called a Family of Choice.  Because I am absolutely done with your mother's crap, and I am willing to throw whatever safety net you need behind you to keep you from letting her win.

[Delightful]

I'm really, really hoping that the dates I've already booked work out, because she's told me to "write these people off" if they don't work out and I don't think I can stand up to her on this. I mean, she still hasn't paid me back for my brother's ticket and I don't know how to broach the topic without risking making her mad.

So make her mad. It's not like she can do much worse than the active life-ruining she's at now. Don't listen to her. Don't write off the job because she says so, she does not want you to take it no matter what. Just completely ignore her and do what you need to do so you can start working. Please, Twi, the closer you get to leaving the more desperate she gets and please please please don't let her get in your way. You're strong and independent and you don't need your mother for this. You need her to pay you back, and to butt out of your life. Don't let her get to you, don't let her convince you not to take it. Please. You've come so far, you can jump from here.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Yeah, now's as good a time as any to make a stand. Let her know, "Hey, I am focused on this right now, and if you really want to support me, do so." If she gives you lip, interrupt her, stand up!

You probably do not have to go as far as that, but as Picard said in reference to the Borg: "The line must be drawn here!"

[Silverblade5 he/him]

You know twi, maybe your mom just needs a good spanking every once in a while.

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

For anyone who is having any sort of problems with family, the 17th Shard believes in you, and is willing to help. Remember that.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Well, she just took me aside to say that I hate her and she doesn't know why. She accused me of talking trash about her in front of my youngest sister, and said she didn't believe me when I denied it.

I didn't hate her before that.

But I'm pretty sure I do now.

Edit: "When we get home, I want to have a talk."

Yes. I hate her.

Edited February 14, 2016 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Edgedancer he/him]

Well, she just took me aside to say that I hate her and she doesn't know why. She accused me of talking trash about her in front of my youngest sister, and said she didn't believe me when I denied it.

I didn't hate her before that.

But I'm pretty sure I do now.

Edit: "When we get home, I want to have a talk."

Yes. I hate her.

Sometimes hate directed at the right target can be a powerful force. This target is very right and very deserved. Just don't let it consume you entirely.