Random Stuff III

[Orlion Blight he/him]

A friend is someone who would help you hide a corpse.

 

An acquaintance is someone who says they'd help you hide a corpse and then call the cops. 

[Delightful]

So I just realized I didn't post the story of Tom Cruise kid. Horrible. Shame on me.

So buckle your seatbelts bc this is a wild ride.

So I go over to a friend's house for halloween, and we're handing out candy to the kids as a group. Well, this one kid, probably in eighth grade or a freshman comes up with his rather odd costume; he's Tom Cruise from Risky Business. He is wearing no pants.

Anyway, we all get it, laugh a bit, give him some candy and send him on his way.

Well, a few hours later, we're out trick or treating and guess who comes up. You guessed it. Tom Cruise kid.

"Hey so I live out of town and lost my friends. I don't know where I am so I'll just follow you guys." We ask him where he's from and he rambles off a major city that's over an hour from our house?? Whatever, he seemed okay so we let him come along.

Except he wasn't okay.

Tom Cruise kid was an actual piece of chull dung.

This entire discourse starts with one of my friends quietly calling out someone else's costume (they were dressed in a Native American headdress), and he goes "nah, not bad. I dressed up as a black person last year." We all stare and glare at him. "But it was okay because I was with my black friends and they were all dressed as white people."

Whatever you say, Tom Cruise kid.

Anyway, if that comment didn't already prove that he's a racist, he also pulls some other racist comments I'm not gonna put here.

So we arrive at another friend's house (who was with us) and we take a break and expect Tom Cruise kid to go heck off. Well, he didn't. And went inside with us. My friend (Mel)'s mom insisted on taking photos of us all. We have photos taken on their stairs prom style. With Tom Cruise kid.

Mel's mom also finally asked Tom Cruise kid his name. It was David.

Anyway, we begin our trip again, and a few of us are getting tired because of poor shoe choices. Two of us take off our shoes, and lo and behold, Tom Cruise kid strikes again. "You know you can get ringworm from walking barefoot on grass."

One of my other friends, L, stops dead. She has major anxiety, and this didn't help one bit. So the friend who was throwing the party just carried her while Tom Cruise kid fills us in on (no shock here) fake ringworm facts. J tries to tell him otherwise, but he wasn't having that.

And a few more problematic comments later, we're back at the starting place, and Tom Cruise kid, a few feet from the house, goes "okay I have no idea where I am, where my mom is, or anything, but I'm gonna go."

And so, Tom Cruise kid vanished into the night.

Thus was the story of Tom Cruise kid.

So he was being rude and racist and freaking out your friends, and you didn't tell him to push off? Cause that's what I would have done.

An acquaintance is someone who says they'd help you hide a corpse and then call the cops.

So an acquaintance warns you before they call the cops. Is that difference. Huh.

()

Edited November 3, 2015 by Delightful

[Allomancy she/her]

Candy is my #1 source of energy.

Edited November 3, 2015 by Allomancy

[Zathoth]

An acquaintance is someone who says they'd help you hide a corpse and then call the cops. 

So to recap:

A friend helps you hide the corpse

An acquaintance says they will help you hide the corpse, then calls the cops on you.

An enemy is said corpse, or will be said corpse

Your best friend however helps you corpsify said enemy, transport the body and pin the crime on the acquaintance who neither of you really care about to begin with.

 

 

Candy is my #1 source of energy.

Ah, the rare and elusive Candymancer. .

 

... you know, candy based on the allomantic Metals sounds like a fantastic idea...

[Orlion Blight he/him]

So to recap:

A friend helps you hide the corpse

An acquaintance says they will help you hide the corpse, then calls the cops on you.

An enemy is said corpse, or will be said corpse

Your best friend however helps you corpsify said enemy, transport the body and pin the crime on the acquaintance who neither of you really care about to begin with.

 

 

Sounds about right, just need to add that your best friend and you do not really care about the acquaintance because they drink all your beer and eat all your snacks. That's why they deserve to be framed for murder.

[Delightful]

So to recap:

A friend helps you hide the corpse

An acquaintance says they will help you hide the corpse, then calls the cops on you.

An enemy is said corpse, or will be said corpse

Your best friend however helps you corpsify said enemy, transport the body and pin the crime on the acquaintance who neither of you really care about to begin with.

What happens to the cops?

[Zathoth]

Sounds about right, just need to add that your best friend and you do not really care about the acquaintance because they drink all your beer and eat all your snacks. That's why they deserve to be framed for murder.

Or they are just more framable than Mona Lisa. Or whatever else people frame, like photographs and stuff, thing is acquaintance is very framable.

 

 

What happens to the cops?

As long as you know who your friends are the cops will never be involved.

 

If not, call your best friend and start a farm, Ive heard that people are great fertilizer.

[Mashadar Mistborn he/him]

What happens to the cops?

[Delightful]

If not, call your best friend and start a farm, Ive heard that people are great fertilizer.

I know we're joking about corpses, but that's gross. You don't make use of human bodies like that.

[Allomancy she/her]

Ah, the rare and elusive Candymancer. . .

Oh dear. I've been found out. NOW YOU ALL KNOW MY SECRET IDENTITY!

* shoves a candy bar in mouth. Flies away, leaving a trail of sparkles

... you know, candy based on the allomantic Metals sounds like a fantastic idea...

But candy IS one of the allomantic metals.

We are called sugar-manics

Edited November 3, 2015 by Allomancy

[Zathoth]

You could always call a Mistborn to take care of all your assassination needs. I heard that you need to pay them in atium however.

 

 

I know we're joking about corpses, but that's gross. You don't make use of human bodies like that.

Oh but nature already does, might as well help it a little, dont you think? You can at least feed some hungry worms, that will make them happy. A happy worm is a good worm.

 

Oh dear. I've been found out. NOW YOU ALL KNOW MY SECRET IDENTITY!

* shoves a candy bar in mouth. Flies away, leaving a trail of sparkles

But candy IS one of the allomantic metals.

We are called sugar-manics

Ah, that explains everything... wait, candy is metal?

[Orlion Blight he/him]

The Conqueror Worm

BY EDGAR ALLAN POE

Lo! ’t is a gala night

   Within the lonesome latter years!   

An angel throng, bewinged, bedight

   In veils, and drowned in tears,   

Sit in a theatre, to see

   A play of hopes and fears,

While the orchestra breathes fitfully   

   The music of the spheres.

Mimes, in the form of God on high,   

   Mutter and mumble low,

And hither and thither fly—

   Mere puppets they, who come and go   

At bidding of vast formless things

   That shift the scenery to and fro,

Flapping from out their Condor wings

   Invisible Wo!

That motley drama—oh, be sure   

   It shall not be forgot!

With its Phantom chased for evermore   

   By a crowd that seize it not,

Through a circle that ever returneth in   

   To the self-same spot,

And much of Madness, and more of Sin,   

   And Horror the soul of the plot.

But see, amid the mimic rout,

   A crawling shape intrude!

A blood-red thing that writhes from out   

   The scenic solitude!

It writhes!—it writhes!—with mortal pangs   

The mimes become its food,

And seraphs sob at vermin fangs

   In human gore imbued.

Out—out are the lights—out all!   

   And, over each quivering form,

The curtain, a funeral pall,

   Comes down with the rush of a storm,   

While the angels, all pallid and wan,   

   Uprising, unveiling, affirm

That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”   

   And its hero, the Conqueror Worm.

 

 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I have a mirror attached to my dresser, which I just had to cover up with a blanket. Why? Because Bruce decided the only way to rid himself of his own reflection was to attack it head-on, flinging himself at my dresser from atop my bed.

 

….I was afraid he was hurt, but I can't stop laughing.

[Delightful]

Oh but nature already does, might as well help it a little, dont you think? You can at least feed some hungry worms, that will make them happy. A happy worm is a good worm.

Please. Have some respect for the dead.

And I have no idea if you're pulling my leg here. :I

[Mashadar Mistborn he/him]

My dog keeps running away from shadows as fast as he can. I'm not sure if he's sleep-deprived, silly, or aware of a secret Vashta Nerada invasion.

[Allomancy she/her]

 

Ah, that explains everything... wait, candy is metal?

MWA HA HA HA HA

 

 you shall never know!!!

MWA HA HA HA HA HA

 

[Zathoth]

Please. Have some respect for the dead.

And I have no idea if you're pulling my leg here. :I

I am respecting the dead. I am saluting their decomposing and return to nature. 

Comedy is not disrespect. Just because something is played for comedy does not mean it is taken lightly.

 

I dont know, do you need it? Allomancy seems quite hungry...

 

 

MWA HA HA HA HA

 

 you shall never know!!!

MWA HA HA HA HA HA

 

BAM BAM BAAAAAAAAAAM *Lightning strikes*

 

Sooo... do you want a leg?

[Mashadar Mistborn he/him]

Morzathoth, I think that you are taking the corpses thing a little too far. I understand your dark sense of humor, and enjoy it personally, but you are discomforting Delightful, and now is probably a good time to stop.

[Zathoth]

... yes. I probably should.

[Elbereth she/her]

The Conqueror Worm

If we're appreciating random poetry, here's what I'm memorizing right now: (from memory, so potentially partly wrong)

From dark Dunharrow in the dim morning

With thane and captain rode Thengel's son

From Edoras he came, the ancient halls

of the Mark-wardens mist-enshrouded;

golden timbers were in gloom mantled.

From hall and hearth, and the hallowed places

where long he had feasted ere the light faded.

Forth rode Theoden, fear behind him,

fate before him. Fealty kept he:

Oaths he had taken, all fulfilled them.

From Folde and Fenmarch and the Firienwood,

Six thousand spears to Sunlending,

To mighty Mundburg under Mindolluin,

Sea-kings; [something about a city]

foe-beleaguered, fire-encircled.

Forth rode the Eorlingas, [something] hoofbeats

faded to silence; so the songs tell us.

So, it's not very memorized yet, but to be fair, I started it in physics this morning and haven't worked on it since.

[Mashadar Mistborn he/him]

Gah, accidentally downvoted Morzathoth. Someone fix it, please.

Edited November 3, 2015 by Mashadar Mistborn

[Elbereth she/her]

Well, that failed. I have bolded the parts that are now corrected.

If we're appreciating random poetry, here's what I'm memorizing right now: (from memory, so potentially partly wrong)

From dark Dunharrow in the dim morning

with thane and captain rode Thengel's son:

to Edoras he came, the ancient halls

of the Mark-wardens mist-enshrouded;

golden timbers were in gloom mantled.

Farewell he bade to his free people

hearth and high-seat, and the hallowed places,

where long he had feasted ere the light faded.

Forth rode Theoden, fear behind him,

fate before him. Fealty kept he;

oaths he had taken, all fulfilled them.

Forth rode Theoden. Five nights and days

east and onward rode the Eorlingas

through Folde and Fenmarch and the Firienwood,

six thousand spears to Sunlending,

Mundburg the mighty under Mindolluin,

Sea-kings; city in the South-kingdom

foe-beleaguered, fire-encircled.

Doom drove them on. Darkness took them,

horse and horseman; hoofbeats afar

sank into silence; so the songs tell us.

So, it's not very memorized yet, but to be fair, I started it in physics this morning and haven't worked on it since.

I have a ways to go. Edited November 3, 2015 by Elbereth (Limelleth)

[Zathoth]

If we're appreciating random poetry, here's what I'm memorizing right now: (from memory, so potentially partly wrong)

Well, to revive the thread from its untimely demise by corpse humor (Storms it is harder to stop than it is supposed to...) why are you memorizing poetry?

[Orlion Blight he/him]

It's interesting that, as a Beowulf scholar, some of Tolkien's poetry bares quite a bit of resemblance to that saga. It's almost like it might have been intentional

[Elbereth she/her]

Because it's fun! And also impressive, I guess.

I have memorized a lot of Tolkien's poetry by now, most of which is actually longer than this. I can memorize this in one piece, instead of doing it by stanza.

Actually, what took the longest to memorize was actually the first 10 or so minutes of Fellowship of the Ring, which I can currently recite (with voices!). I like memorizing things.

I'm thinking about memorizing a Sanderson thing, but I don't know where I want to start. Maybe with the Elantris prologue?

EDIT:

It's interesting that, as a Beowulf scholar, some of Tolkien's poetry bares quite a bit of resemblance to that saga. It's almost like it might have been intentional

Just maybe? I actually wrote an entire paper on this, relating Beowulf (and other works from that time period) to Tolkien's work. It was kind of fun. Most of the poems I have memorized aren't so clearly shouting OLD ENGLISH EPIC POETRY HOMAGE as much as this one, because most of them are Elvish. Edited November 3, 2015 by Elbereth (Limelleth)