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We all know the story. The hero is surrounded, up against all odds. He faces down a horde much more powerful than he, but he knows no fear. He merely opens his mouth, and utters a line. A line of calm, collected, badchull awesomeness.

 

In one sentence, the hero reminds us why we love action movies.

 

 

This thread is for sharing all of the badchull one-liners you've enjoyed from the world of fiction. Doesn't matter whether you wrote them or you saw them on TV--if it's badchull, post it here.

 

For my contribution, feast your eyes on this quote from a story my friend wrote, a long time ago. (For context, the character is a mutated monstrosity engineered to end a war with the planet-destroying Julth. The Consecro is the most powerful weapon in the universe.)

 

 

 

And then, the wall exploded, debris raining down, revealing Julth. Millions of Julth. They seemed to be startled at the monster in front of them.

 

"Who are you?" the lead Julth demanded.

 

Raising the Consecro, Hectocapitus smiled. "Your final enemy."

 

And he fired.

 

 

Your move, 17th Shard. B)

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My favorite one-liner actually isn't from a movie or book at all, but from history.

In 350 BC, Phillip of Macedon sent a message to Sparta: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army upon your lands, I will destroy your farms, enslave your people and raze your city."

Sparta replied with a single word: "If."

If is good.

 RN4Hedc.gif

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I'll cram in my memories for some good ones but first of all here's something from Kingdom of Loathing:

"PANCAKES!" you howl, testing the theory that it doesn't actually matter what you howl, so long as you get the correct volume and murderous inflection. "PANCAAAAAAAAAAKES!" Your foe scampers away in fear, lending credence to your hypothesis.

 

And some from Baldurs Gate (for reference Boo is a hamster who's owner belives is an "miniature giant space hamster")

Minsc:"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes! Raaagghhhhhhh!!"

Minsc: "Jump on my sword while you can, evil! I won't be as gentle!"

Minsc: "Evil, meet my sword! Sword, meet Evilllllllllllllllll!"

(The game also has Lilarcor the proto Nightblood)

"Kill it! Kill it quick before they're all gone!"

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I'll cram in my memories for some good ones but first of all here's something from Kingdom of Loathing:

"PANCAKES!" you howl, testing the theory that it doesn't actually matter what you howl, so long as you get the correct volume and murderous inflection. "PANCAAAAAAAAAAKES!" Your foe scampers away in fear, lending credence to your hypothesis.

 

...Dark!Voidgaze? :o:P

 

 

Of course, there's also the old favorite. "I'm here to kick arse and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum."

 

Supposedly improvised on set, actually. :lol:

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...Dark!Voidgaze? :o:P

 

 

Of course, there's also the old favorite. "I'm here to kick arse and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum."

 

Supposedly improvised on set, actually. :lol:

 

Let's see, if I adapted that line for my own purposes….

 

"I'm here to kick your butt and pet my pugs. I have my pugs right here. They're going to help me kick your butt, and then I'll pet them." 

 

….not quite as badchull as the original….:P 

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...Dark!Voidgaze? :o:P

 

 

Of course, there's also the old favorite. "I'm here to kick arse and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum."

 

Supposedly improvised on set, actually. :lol:

Do I smell a whooc/Fanfic? :ph34r:

 

Let's see, if I adapted that line for my own purposes….

 

"I'm here to kick your butt and pet my pugs. I have my pugs right here. They're going to help me kick your butt, and then I'll pet them." 

 

….not quite as badchull as the original…. :P

Maybe a bit long winded but it got the right spirit. ;)

 

Another one I remembered from Tsukihime: I'll show you... THIS is what it means to kill something.

(Protagonist then proceds to kill the villain on such an existential level he can't resurect anymore.)

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I'll cram in my memories for some good ones but first of all here's something from Kingdom of Loathing:

"PANCAKES!" you howl, testing the theory that it doesn't actually matter what you howl, so long as you get the correct volume and murderous inflection. "PANCAAAAAAAAAAKES!" Your foe scampers away in fear, lending credence to your hypothesis.

 

And some from Baldurs Gate (for reference Boo is a hamster who's owner belives is an "miniature giant space hamster")

Minsc:"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes! Raaagghhhhhhh!!"

Minsc: "Jump on my sword while you can, evil! I won't be as gentle!"

Minsc: "Evil, meet my sword! Sword, meet Evilllllllllllllllll!"

(The game also has Lilarcor the proto Nightblood)

"Kill it! Kill it quick before they're all gone!"

 

Oh, man, Lilarcor.  A powergamer trapped inside a sword.  His description read is hysterical.

 

And I have yet to make it even a little way into Baldur's Gate without adding Minsc to the party.  This is why I can't play evil characters in the game - not because I can't make the evil decisions, but because doing so would eventually drive Minsc away.

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My favorite is from history too. Also from the Spartans, they must have been good at smack talk.

 

At the Battle of Thermopylae when Leonidas was told by Xerxes, "We will darken the sky with our arrows!" Leonidas responded,"They we will fight in the shade."

 

Pure ancient awesomeness!

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Let's see, if I adapted that line for my own purposes….

 

"I'm here to kick your butt and pet my pugs. I have my pugs right here. They're going to help me kick your butt, and then I'll pet them." 

 

….not quite as badchull as the original…. :P

 

Name your pugs Justice and Punishment, so you can tell evildoers that you brought Justice and Punishment with you, and they're hungry. :P

 

 

Another real life badchull one-liner. Simo Häyhä, a Finnish sniper who killed over 500 Russian soldiers who were invading his country, was asked what he felt when he shot an invader.

 

"The recoil," he replied nonchalantly.

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A bit from Metal Gear Solid: Snake and Otacon are getting circled by an armed helicopter. Snake goes to fight with the helicopter while on foot saying: "I've got to go and swat a noisy fly."

And the Bond One-Liner after the helicopter goes down in flames: "That takes care of the cremation"

 

But be happy Otacon wasn't the one giving the One-Liner. Why, you ask? To explain, here's his reaction to seeing Snake fight a cyborg ninja: "This is just like on of my japanese animes!"

Pretty much the exact opposites of this topic. :P

Edited by Edgedancer
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I'll also go with a real sentence, one uttered by giulio andreotti, one of the most powerful politicians in the italian first republic.

Once a journalist asked him if power  wears people out, and he answered "power wears out those people who lack it".

 

It is still a widely used aphorism in italy some 40 years later.

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From Xenoblade's very own Reyn," It's Reyn Time!!"

 

Another Baldur's Gate one, "There is evil around every corner! Be careful not to step in it.." Minsc

 

From HK-47, of the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic games, "Recitation: Yes, as I said, I am an assassin droid. It is my primary function to burn holes through meatbags that you wish removed from the galaxy…"

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From "Gangster Johnny" in the very meta movie within the movie Home Alone:

 

"I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! 1...2...10! Keep the change, ya filthy animal."

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  • 2 weeks later...

From Fate/Stay Night visual novel, Unlimited Bladeworks pathway

Rough translation from Japanese to English:

"Come, King of Kings. Do you have enough weapons to keep up with me?"

 

 

From The Princess Bride

 

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Cmon, seriously!

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