the most useless uses for useful powers

[Dellexe he/him]

What can I say, we people to avoid in dark alleys are heavily into recruitment by spikings offering delicious cookies!

I've been to the dark alleys...

They lied about the cookies!

[Swimmingly he/him]

I've been to the dark alleys...

They lied about the cookies!

Look, there were cookies. I promise. There just happened to be a metric ton of enraged Koloss in between.

 

You didn't get as far as the koloss.

[The Shadow he/him]

Being a Coinshot and winning every coin flip.

 

Being an Awakener and tying my enemies shoelaces together.

 

Due to the work involved, individually stamping all of my homework to be perfect.

Edited July 30, 2014 by The Shadow

[Voidus]

I've been to the dark alleys...

They lied about the cookies!

No, we promise if you get enough spikes then there's a cookie at the end. We wouldn't lie just because we're being controlled by an ancient being of powerful Ruinous energy, that's inZane!

[Observer]

Use your divine breath to heal a papercut.

...

...

..

...YOUR paper cut.

[Helwar he/him]

Use your divine breath to heal a papercut.

...

...

..

...YOUR paper cut.

 

Hum... what about using your Divine Breath to heal someone dying from old age?

[Kobold King he/him]

Hum... what about using your Divine Breath to heal someone dying from old age?

 

Or use it to cure boredom.

[Observer]

Or use it to restore your lost memories.

Really any time you use your Divine Breath for yourself or something stupid. Having a traveling Aspect with Agoraphobia would be pretty worthless too.

[Fallen Rope he/him]

If your a luck compounder you could jump of a skyscraper and tap it all at once to see what happens.

[Voidus]

Spike  yourself with double steel so that you can push the spike giving you double steel out of your body

[Kobold King he/him]

If your a luck compounder you could jump of a skyscraper and tap it all at once to see what happens.

 

You fall into a Shardpool that just happened to be sitting at the bottom and become the most powerful being in the Cosmere (because of course, the Seventeenth Shard had just finished reassembling Adonalsium in that exact spot.)

[Fallen Rope he/him]

Try using hemaluric bullets. Shot someone in the heart, pick up the bullet and shot you self in the eye.

[Voidus]

Try using hemaluric bullets. Shot someone in the heart, pick up the bullet and shot you self in the eye.

Bonus points if the bullet becomes a Blessing of Awareness so that your shot eye is more sensitive

[kinxer he/him]

Mold clay/dough using the Surge of Cohesion

Lash an object to itself

Incorrectly spike yourself by pulling the spike into you with Iron

Impress people by bench pressing enormous weight by repeatedly lashing the barbell upwards with a little bit of Stormlight

Flare Atium to see the ends of television shows so you can spoil it for everyone else

Compound enormous amounts of Luck for a single coin flip

Store Warmth occasionally and tap it when you're holding cute woodland creatures for ACTUAL warm fuzzies

Tap Wakefulness while drinking gratuitous amounts of coffee

Store Weight and catch hold of a moving ceiling fan

Store or tap Strength to fit perfectly into any clothing

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

Fire shotguns cells using steel. Without exploding the pellets. Basically a useless slug round 

[Voidus]

Soulcast your normal tasty food into tasteless mush.

[Edgedancer he/him]

Lash an object to itself

This could be absolutly horrifiying. Lash that person´s gravity to let´s say their head and their body will start compressing itself around that point. Use enough Investure and the persons feet will turn inside out and come out of their mouth. Most brutal way to use the basic lashing.

Edited August 11, 2014 by Edgedancer

[Voidus]

Lash Roshar towards Scadrial, get them before they invent space travel!
And er... stay inside, it might get a bit chilly in transit for a couple millenia.

[kinxer he/him]

This could be absolutly horrifiying. Lash that person´s gravity to let´s say their head and their body will start compressing itself around that point. Use enough Investure and the persons feet will turn inside out and come out of their mouth. Most brutal way to use the basic lashing.

Oh. Would this really work, though? Lashings deal with the Spiritual connection to gravity, I thought. I've not looked at how the Spiritual Realm works, but would it not just work the same way as the Cognitive Realm with each object or creature taken as a whole?

Also, to avoid posting with out some sort of contribution:

Use a Reverse Lashing on a planet.

Use a Reverse Lashing to become the center of attention

Awaken a mannequin with orders to remain still

Use a spanreed to scratch that place on your back you can never quite reach

Edited August 11, 2014 by kinxer

[Kobold King he/him]

Use a spanreed to scratch that place on your back you can never quite reach

 

That's not useless. That's a stroke of genius.

[Voidus]

That's not useless. That's a stroke of genius.

This, all of the this.

[Fallen Rope he/him]

Give a lifeless squirel an Allomantic cadmium spike and use it to freeze people.

[Edgedancer he/him]

Oh. Would this really work, though? Lashings deal with the Spiritual connection to gravity, I thought. I've not looked at how the Spiritual Realm works, but would it not just work the same way as the Cognitive Realm with each object or creature taken as a whole?

Good question. I suppose a body part, let us say head, would think of it self like this: I´m a person, I´m a head, I´m that person´s head. So it should be possible to home in on the head aspect with enough realmatic finess, after all Jashnah did so with Shallan´s blood. Although I have no clue if the Surge of Gravity gives you the precision needed to do so. Most likely not to be honest but we should never neglect the possibility.

 

Use the progression surge to turn an unripe fruit into an overripe one.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Edgedancer

[kinxer he/him]

Teaching a parrot to speak in High Imperial.

High Imperial is totally a power.

... Yeah.

[Cstryon he/him]

"Ising the Polly wasing wanting a cracker!"

 

Store health and weight during a physical.